Anne’S Angel Came Twice

By Sylvia Bryan

It is the little things that make a person come to life in a story, the minutiae of daily life. We know the bare bones of the life of these people but that makes them so one-dimensional. I have taken the story we know, and using imagination and Google, have brought them to life in a way that makes them live and breathe naturally.

It is a work of fiction but built on a solid skeleton of fact.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris NZ
• Release date: Oct 10, 2016
• ISBN: 9781499098778

Sylvia Bryan

Sylvia is the granddaughter, daughter, wife, mother, and grandmother of dairy farmers and has spent the last half century raising their seven children in the Far North of New Zealand. Many grandchildren and a growing number of great-grandchildren keep her doing what she has always donecare for her family. But books have always taken her from here and now to there and then while she has been anchored deep in the backcountry far from any town.

Book preview

CHAPTER

1

J OACHIM STOOD NEAR the back of the synagogue pleading and begging as he prayed. It was early winter and the autumn fruits had been harvested. There was a nip in the wind outside, but Joachim noticed none of this. His was a prayer so deep that it consumed his every thought. His very soul. He was so saddened by the way the townsfolk looked at his wife. Joachim thought of her as Hannah just now, the name he gave her when he was being most solemn or when he thought of the problem they had. When he was with her in their ordinary daily lives he used the diminutive Anne. But just now, in his pleadings she was Hannah. Maybe his prayer would be better heard when he spoke her special name.

Oh please help me. Help us. My woman. My wife. My beautiful Hannah. Why have you not blessed us with a child? She is getting close to that age when a child will be impossible. What have we done that has displeased you so much that you let us suffer this dishonour? I cannot help her when the other women make those snide remarks, and that makes me feel so ashamed. Joachim was so intent on his pleading that he did not notice that others had come into the Synagogue for evening prayers. His neighbours did not disturb him, as they could see he was again remonstrating with God about his sorrow at his wife’s childless state. He had often been seen here doing just that, but this evening they saw a new determination in his face as he prayed.

When they insinuate she must have been unfaithful to me! Joachim’s indignation came out as a snort that made those near him turn and look but he did not notice their attention, so intent was he on his pleading. Or worse, when they whisper that she must have committed such a heinous sin that you had to make her barren, she gets so hurt. So sad. Father you know and I know that is completely untrue. My Hannah has been faithful in every way both to you, and to me, yet still she is so hurt when they whisper about her. She does not show how much she is hurting, but I see a sadness that is growing. What do you want of me? What can I do? I cannot face my wife tonight. I have to go away to a quiet place. Please care for my Hannah till I come back.

Joachim bowed before the altar and snatched his kipa off his head as he left the synagogue; and then he left the town. He walked slowly at first but faster as he felt his anguish grow. He went unseeingly past the shops and houses and out into the barren countryside. He had no plan except to have some time alone. He hoped she would understand why he must go away just now. Maybe the town’s gossips would talk about his absence instead of her barrenness. The darkness fell swiftly as he hurried on, taking no notice of his surroundings. He stumbled a little as he walked in the growing gloom, but then just pulled himself up and carried on, sadly, buried in his thoughts.

*

Anne, for she never thought of herself as Hannah but loved the way Joachim gave her that name in his most serious moments, moved about her house guiding the servants as they prepared the evening meal. She had set the bread to rise earlier and had put it in the oven to cook. She was worried as Joachim had seemed preoccupied when he left the house an hour ago. He said he was going to the synagogue, but he should have been back by now.

Rhoda did the master say anything to you as he went out?

No mistress, he walked straight by me as if he did not see me. He did have a strange look on his face though. Like he was thinking very deep thoughts. He looked so worried mistress. Rhoda carried on stirring the pot over the flame and Anne walked back to the dining room to finish laying the table for the evening meal.

An hour later Anne was really worried so she asked Rhoda to send one of the men servants along to the synagogue and ask around to see if anyone had seen Joachim, or knew where he might be. She paced the room, fidgeting as she walked. A vase on the dresser was a little off centre, and she moved a piece of china on the table. She rubbed at a non-existent spot at the top of a chair. She sat. She stood. She paced some more, till Rhoda came back with the news that Joachim had been seen walking down the road and out into the wilderness just beyond the city limits. That is what Nathan was told when he asked down at the synagogue, Mistress. They said he just walked past them unseeingly and walked out the city gates. I’m sorry Mistress, Nathan could get no more information from anyone.

Thank you Rhoda. I don’t suppose we can do anything tonight. She told her servant to clear the table, as she had no appetite for her evening meal without her husband. When the table was cleared and the room straightened, Anne told Rhoda to go out to the servant’s quarters and join the others at their evening meal. She would not be needed any more tonight. Anne needed time alone. To think.

What was Joachim doing, going out into the desert this night and leaving her alone. He knew that only this morning at the market Joanna had once again asked Anne in that oh so sarcastic voice, when did she expect her first child. She had smirked as she gathered her three daughters about her and walked away. Joanna was not the nastiest of those who tormented her but she was the one who did it most often, and each time she asked the same question, Anne could say nothing but just smile wistfully and answer that it would happen in God’s own time, knowing that it might never happen.

Oh Joachim I need you to hold me tonight. Hold me tight and tell me it will be all right, and that we still have each other. Why did you go from me tonight when I want you so? Anne whispered and quietly wept as she sat brushing her hair. I need you to help me accept that it is God’s choice that I have no child to hold. Shall I never feel a child suckle at my breast? Shall I never have the joy of watching my very own child take its first steps, or say a first word? Joachim if you were here I should be more able to understand why I am being tested and made to practice humility in the face of the other women’s vicious barbs.

Anne continued brushing her waist length dark hair longer than usual and looked about her as she thought on her life. Joachim often told her she was the most beautiful woman in the world and he was the luckiest of men, but then he loved her deeply and only saw his love reflected in her face. She knew their comfortable life and good health was an amalgam of several factors. A loving husband and a nice home, and a garden which provided much of their food, and a steady life and most of all, the blessings from above. She knew she had many good things in her life.

Joachim who was kind and loving with her, worked for his father in a successful importing business so they had no money worries. Their servants were happy and well cared for, and so in turn cared for their master and mistress well and cheerfully. Unlike many around them they had servants they paid a wage to and not slaves as was the way of many of the other households around them. Their house was comfortably furnished and the bed platform made of fine timber inlaid with mahogany, and had softest quilts to lie on, and the finest linens to cover them. They even had a plaited goat’s hair bolster to lay their heads on. Anne had three best dresses which had embroidery as she was clever with a needle and found the work soothing; and she had four work dresses. This was more than many of the women who tormented her had. Was some of the torment provoked by jealousy of their modest wealth. Maybe it was. But they did not know that she would gladly trade places and all her wealth with the meanest of them just to have a child of her own. She thought on her age and realised that menopause was just around the corner for her.

She had felt a little guilty that night as she said her prayers, for Anne realised that instead of giving thanks for all their blessings this day, and asking that Joachim would soon come home safely from wherever he was, she was bargaining. She made all sorts of wild promises of sacrifice and behaviour if only her prayers would be answered. She would fast more, and deny herself simple pleasures. Like the almond sweetmeats she adored. Oh God if you help me to conceive I promise I will never ever again have almond honey cakes. Ever. And I will get out of bed so much earlier each day and work harder in the house and garden. And I will fast six days a week all the time. I will do anything. Anything at all if I could have a child.

Anne suddenly realised that she was not praying but telling him what to do. One just did not do that. Prayer was to say thanks for all she had, and to praise him for his works that were so evident all around her. She was being proud and arrogant really, so why should Heaven listen to her entreaties and give her a child. She was filled with remorse and continued her evening prayers. If it is your will that I do not become a mother, then I ask that you to help me to accept my fate; and please, oh please, do stop those women picking on me, and worst of all stop them gloating over me.

She finished her prayers but continued talking as she rose from her knees. Oh Lord I know I am not the first childless woman in the world but please, please just help me. You know my needs better than I do so just help me in the way I most need. Oh and help me not to dislike those other women. I know I am not allowed to hate them. But they make it so hard for me not to hate – oops sorry – dislike them as they flaunt their own fecundity. And yes flaunt is the right word because they really do flaunt their children in front of me as they marshal them just like a hen does, and give me sly side long glances and draw their skirts in as they pass. Anne gave a rueful smile as she thought of the women in the market place gathering their children just like a mother hen. She laughed out loud as she continued. I can almost hear them clucking as they walk by me. ‘Cluck, cluck, cluck. Come my chicks, my proofs of my fertility. Cluck cluck.’ But Anne felt sad again as she carried on talking. Why do they draw their skirts in as they pass me. Do they think an empty womb is some sort of disease you can catch? Anne glanced down. She had removed her dress and her legs were bare now as she prepared for bed. She had always been a little proud. No! Pride is a dreadful sin I know," she whispered to herself, but now thought of the word pleased. Yes pleased with the way her legs were, still shapely and long; and Joachim often ran his hand down them murmuring about how he loved them.

I know you have given me a beautiful body and Joachim and I have much pleasure in it, but to me its uselessness makes it ugly. What beauty is there in this woman who has no child?

Anne was again weeping as she lay down on her bed. She pressed her hands against her belly and wondered what it would feel like to have a life growing there. A little boy or a little girl. Either would be so wonderful and it would stop the torments coming from the others.

She looked around the room and chose a spot for the cradle for the times she would not have the child in her arms or right there beside her in bed. Over there by the wall, she thought. That side that backs on to the hallway so it will not be near the window as there might be a draught in the winter, or be too hot in the summer. And she would dress the babe in the neatly sewn and beautifully embroidered clothes that she had been making for all the years of her marriage. I would be the best mother in Nazareth, or even in the whole world. I would be that, with your help. But first I have to conceive and I will promise you anything if you will do that for me.

Anne slowly drew her hands up her body till she cupped her small firm breasts and wondered what a suckling baby felt like. She had heard that it was sometimes a wonderful, even glorious sensation, but at other times or with other women, a painful time. I do not care if it is going to hurt a lot. I just want to have a baby of my own. And this is a vow, a solemn promise. If… No God I will not think you do not answer my prayers. I will not say if, but will say when. When I have a baby I will dedicate it to you. As she said those words quietly but firmly, she drifted into sleep.

For the next few days Anne carried on with her home making duties; guiding the servants, kneading the bread and spinning and weaving the wool and linen thread. She weeded some of the small vegetable garden then sat and looked at her special herb garden. Joachim had made her a seat by the herb garden and she often took a few minutes to sit and absorb the fragrances and the peace. Usually she felt calm and happy at the herb garden. But this week she could only sit and gaze with unseeing eyes as she waited for and wondered why Joachim was away from her. She had tried to busy herself to make the days pass, because it seemed that time was an actual chain around her waist, held back by leaden weights. But as the days passed she went less and less to the door or window to look down the street to see if he was coming home. The nights were the worst as they were long and lonely as she slept in her fine bed in abject misery and tossed restlessly. The mornings brought a little relief as she could again be busy and sometimes, for a few moments at a time, not think of Joachim and how he had left her without a word.

CHAPTER

2

A NNE DREAMT; AND what a dream it was. There had been a peace about her this night when she went to bed. Her evening prayers were more praise than petulance and though she thought of Joachim and missed him with all her being, it was with more love than recrimination. Anne was feeling at peace with herself. Oh she still wanted a child with all her heart but no longer was she railing against her fate about it. Acceptance and contentment with her life, she was thinking as she had slipped into bed. Sleep came easily this n ight.

Anne. She heard her name being called so she murmured in answer but did not wake herself. Anne wake up and look at me, the voice said again. She slowly opened her eyes and saw a presence. A man who was taller than anybody she knew. He seemed bathed in light, as if he stood in a ray of sun. She was not at all afraid of having a stranger in her room waking her. She wondered momentarily how anyone could have got past the servants and through the locked doors. Then he spoke in a clear and pure voice. Anne just lay there quietly and looked as she listened to him.

Anne your prayers have been heard. God has listened to your pleading and he has felt your pain. Who was this person? What was he saying? He was talking about God hearing her. She had been told that all prayers were heard, but way down deep she had always had a niggle of doubt that anyone as unimportant as she felt herself to be, was surely not taken seriously up there in Heaven. God was too important and busy to take notice of someone like her.

The voice carried on gently and Anne listened in wonderment. You are to be blessed with a child. A daughter. She will grow into a woman such as the world has never known, and will never know again. Anne stared in amazement at the apparition by her bed and wondered if it was just a marvellous dream.

Oh if this is just a dream let it go on forever, Anne murmured. I think it is just wish fulfilment because I so badly want a baby. But the tall beautiful person was speaking again.

Yes Anne. I am real. I am an angel and I have been sent to tell you that within the year your daughter will be born. She will be the most wonderful woman ever born in the whole history of the world. And you Anne, are to be the mother of this special little girl. The angel smiled at her and all Anne could do was lie here open mouthed and try to understand what was happening.

Of course any baby she had would be the most special baby ever. Every mother knows that. Every baby born is the best baby in the world to its own mother. So why would an angel come to tell me my baby will be special. This was all becoming unreal. Things like this did not happen to ordinary people like her. No. No way. It is just a dream. But he is the most beautiful person I have ever seen she muttered to herself. I shall wake in the morning and probably not even remember this dream, even though it seems so real to me right now.

Anne stared at the man who said he was an angel. That he was taller and more magnificent than any man she knew, was true. Joachim was great. Good looking, tall, and with a fine figure. But compared to this person, angel, or whatever he was, Joachim came a very second best. A real live honest to goodness angel. Here! In my room. Ah! I know I am dreaming but goodness it is a wonderful dream. What is going to come next?

Hang on thought Anne. Where are the wings? All the pictures and statues of angels Anne had ever seen had depicted them as having huge, glorious, feathery wings, but her angel, as she now thought of this being, just looked like a larger than normal person. Male, she decided. But definitely there were no wings behind him. His tunic fell in soft folds from his shoulders to the floor. But how brightly white it was. The woman in her admired the bright whiteness and gave a passing thought to the laundry it needed to keep it like that. And who had spun and woven that fine material that the tunic was made of. She had never seen cloth like that.

Suddenly a pair of huge, white, feathered wings appeared at the angel’s back. Now do I look like a real angel Anne? he asked with a smile. Does this convince you? Anne gasped and wondered if she should leap out of bed and fall on her knees in front of him. How could he read her thoughts like that? So he is a real God-sent angel and so he must have special powers and all that sort of stuff. Her mind was spinning at all the ideas that tumbled through it. But why has he come to me? Me! She was frozen with surprise and could not move at all, let alone rise from her bed and fall to her knees in front of him.

It is all right Anne. You do not have to move. Just listen to me and understand that your pleas have been heard. The time has come. You are to be a mother.

The angel then seemed to become more luminous and ethereal, and his wings opened a little and made him look more majestic as he started speaking again. You will not remember this when you wake. It will be many years before you will remember these words I am telling you now. But you have suffered so much as you had to wait till the time was right, that I am to tell you this tonight as a gift of thanks for your patience. Anne gasped as she thought of the many times her impatience had caused her to rant a rail. Surely the angel was wrong in saying she was being given a gift for her patience. What patience? She deserved punishments not gifts. As she watched the angel while these thoughts flitted through her mind, she saw him smile and knew he was understanding what she was thinking. If she was not absolutely consumed with amazement at the thought that an angel was here in her room with her, she might have been mortified at the thought that her mind was being read, and every thought was right out there for the angel to clearly see. He started speaking again.

Yes you have shown more patience than impatience at accepting God’s will so he gives you this gift of this knowledge. But only for tonight. You will not remember this in the morning.

Pah! thought Anne How can I forget something as stupendous as this. An angel standing right here in my room and telling me I am to have a child. This is just so exciting that no way could I go back to sleep tonight. I will stay awake. Of course I will remember. So there! He was talking to her again.

Anne you are to be the grandmother of the Messiah. Your daughter has been chosen to be the mother of God when he is to be born as man. Just as you have read in the scriptures. And what is also wonderful is that your daughter will be born sinless. She will have no ancestral sin from Adam and Eve, as the rest of humanity has. As God’s earthly mother, she can have no stain of sin about her, and that happens from her conception. She will be conceived and born and live her life with no stain of sin on her soul, as every single other human in the whole history of mankind from Adam’s children right down to the last babe to be born on earth has. As the mother of the Messiah she is to be the most perfect human woman of all time. You, Anne, will carry and give birth to the only human child that has no ancestral sin on her soul. Your daughter will be called ‘tainted nature’s solitary boast’. ‘The Immaculate Conception’. ‘The mother of God’. But you Anne have also been chosen by God to be the mother of this girl baby who is to become the most important woman in the world. You have the privilege of raising this special little girl.

Anne lay there on her bed trying to take in all the angel was saying. Why wouldn’t she remember such a stupendous claim as the angel was making. Her daughter was to give birth to God. How can that be? We are just plain folk and though we try to keep all the commandments, why would we be singled out and chosen. She remembered with shame the way she had harangued and tried bargaining for a baby. Any baby. And here was an angel standing right here in her bedroom, by her bed, in the middle of the night telling her that she was to be the mother of the most important woman in the world. And even more she, Anne, was to be grandmother to God. Of course she would remember. But how could she believe that she had been given such a privilege? It was mind blowing.

‘Yes Anne. All I am saying is really true. I know it is a lot to take in all at once. Me, an angel being here in your room, and then telling you that you are at last to have a child, and then for that child to be ultra special. I can understand your doubts, but you know that all things are possible to God and you were chosen eons ago. The angel was almost laughing this time as he spoke again. Oh and by the way God does not expect you to keep all those wild promises you were making lately. He does accept your offer of dedicating your daughter to him at the appropriate time. But he knows how much you like the almond sweets, and a treat is necessary every so often or you would become bitter and twisted, so he lets you off that promise. He will accept an occasional denial on your part as the sweets dish passes by you, as a little denial is good for the soul." A soft smile was on the angel’s face as he gazed at Anne lying there in her bed.

Anne gasped at the explicitness of the answers to her prayers of those recent evenings, and was thinking that she must be more careful in how she prayed each day. God or somebody up there really truly does listen to every prayer. Even if the answer he so very often gives is no! she thought ruefully thinking of how often she had asked for something and never got it.

"But if you are to be a mother you will need your sleep so only get up early sometimes for prayer, as you will find that a baby will get you up early more times than you will like. And you must not fast too much or you will not have the strength to be able to care properly for your daughter. God likes moderation in all things, including your devotion to him. You will not remember this either at any time now or in the future, but I am telling you now, that your Joachim will be called to his rest in about nine years. So when it happens just remember it is the divine will, and you will feel more able to cope with your sadness at that time. But you will marry again, and happily. So though you will mourn, you will remember