Life Lessons

By Augustine Etemma Inwang MSP

This book is the product of my blog Lifes Lessons. I am happy to share it with you. The reflections therein are not a product of an in-depth research into the problems of life. Neither are they an exhaustive treatise on the topics reflected upon. Great theologians and spiritual writers have dealt extensively and systematically on the problems of life. Having sat at their feet as a priest for twenty-five years, read, prayed, and reflected on the Holy Bible and had the opportunity to preach to the people of God during this period, I hereby offer my brief reflections on the lessons of life as I see it, gleaned from my experiences.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 6, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503582750

Augustine Etemma Inwang MSP

Augustine Etemma Inwang, MSP, was born on September 10, 1961, in Nigeria. He had early education in Nigeria. He was ordained a missionary priest on June 23, 1990. He worked for a year in Maiduguri Diocese from 1991 to 1992. He was sent on mission to the Gambia in September 1992, where he worked at St. Michael’s Parish, Njongon; then as teacher at St. Augustine’s High School, Banjul; and as parochial vicar at the Cathedral of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. From 1995 to 2001, he worked in the Communications Department of the Missionary Society of St. Paul as editor of the Ambassador magazine and director of Ambassador Publications. In 2001, he was sent on mission to the United States, where he was assigned as a parochial vicar to St. Francis Xavier Parish in East Baltimore in Maryland. In 2002 he was assigned to St. Veronica’s Parish as pastor. In 2010 he was assigned to Transfiguration Catholic Community, where he is currently pastoring. Augustine Inwang, MSP, has a master’s degree in counseling and offers counseling services to hurting members of his parish and others who need his services. His motto is “I may love as I am loved.”

Book preview

1

The Widow’s Mite

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We have often heard people talk about giving their widow’s mite to mean that they have contributed what they could for a cause. But that is not the same point made by Jesus in the scriptures:

When he looked up he saw some wealthy people putting their offerings into the treasury and he noticed a poor window putting in two small coins. He said, "I tell you truly, this poor window put in more than all the rest; for those others have all made offerings from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood.²

Why did she give from her pauperism? Life’s lesson has taught us that poor people are always willing to give to a cause or to others with no question asked. They give food and money to those in need more readily than others; they give without counting the cost. Point of interest: But she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood.

We know the story of the hen and the pig. There are many versions of this story. Let me recall one of the versions published by Jacki Zehner on October 26, 2012, on her webpage www.jackizehner.com:

A pig and a chicken were walking down the road. As they passed a church, they notice that a potluck charity breakfast was on the way. Caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution. Great idea! the chicken cried. Let’s offer them ham and eggs! Not so fast, said the pig. For you, that’s just a contribution, but for me, it’s a total commitment.

This story demonstrates the total commitment of the poor widow to the contribution observed by Christ. Her giving, like that of the pig, was total. She gave everything she had. She is a good example of a sacrificial giver. She gave because she trusted God. She gave because she knew that it is better to give than to receive. She gave all she had to the one who gives to all abundantly. She did not know that Christ was watching, but she knew that not giving was not an option. She also knew that she could not pretend to have nothing to give. The God who sees her heart and knows that she had given it all will not allow her to go in want. He will open for her the floodgates of heaven and pour down blessing upon her without measure. For her sake, God will forbid the locust to destroy her crop, and the vine in her field will not be barren.³

So what type of a giver are you? Do you give as the widow or the rich people? Do you give like the hen or like the pig? Giving as described here does not have to be monetary. If you don’t have in cash, you can give in time or in talent. Not giving is not an option. Even children can give.

Let me conclude with the prayer attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi in thirteenth century:

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be

Consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen.

2

Tribute to Mothers

On Mother’s Day, we honor our mothers. This is a fitting celebration indeed. The relationship between mother and child cannot really be explained. The mother carried her child in her womb for nine months. In the mother’s womb, the baby (fetus) feeds directly from the mother’s blood, linked through the umbilical cord.

Many mothers go through a rough time when they are afraid of losing the infant in their womb. At times their doctors may put them on bed rest for a few months before the birth of the baby. When the baby is born, the mother nurtures and provides for her/him. If the child is sick, the mother does whatever it takes till the baby gets well again. Yes, there are many reasons these wonderful people in our lives should be celebrated! Hence, all children should take time out to celebrate their mothers just to say thank you.

On every Mother’s Day, I recall the slogan of the anti-abortion group: Mother, thank you for not aborting me. If my mother had aborted me, I would not be here today. Mother, for every pain and anxiety you went through for me, I am very grateful; for taking care of me while I was sick, I thank you. For rejoicing at my successes in life, you are my heroine. You are indeed my queen, my friend, my first love, and my mother. What would I ever achieve without you? Where would I be had you not given birth to me? You are my beginning, my end; you are my day, my night, and my all.

If your mother has passed on, be grateful to God for giving her to you for the years you had her. I pray that my mother may be rewarded for her good works and all that she sacrificed for me. I am sorry for the pains and sorrow I caused my mother. I love you, Mother. You are forever in my heart!

Mother is the ideal wife referred to in the book of Proverbs. Permit me to substitute the wife with mother:

When one finds a worthy wife (mother), her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband (children), entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize. She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life. She obtains wool and flax and makes cloth with skillful hands. Like merchant ships, she secures her provisions from afar. She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household. She picks out a field to purchase; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is girt about with strength, and sturdy are her arms. She enjoys the success of her dealings; at night her lamp is undimmed. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle. She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy. She fears not the snow for her household; all her charges are doubly clothed. She makes her own coverlets; fine linen and purple are her clothing; her husband (children) is (are) prominent at the city gates as he (they) sit(s) with the elders of the land; She makes garments and sells them, and stocks the merchants with belts. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is kindly counsel. She watches the conduct of her household, and eats not her food in idleness. Her children rise up and praise her; her husband, too, extols her; many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates.⁴

My mother is indeed the ideal wife the author of the book of Proverbs wrote about. I believe most children would say the same about their mothers. So whenever we celebrate our mothers, let us pray that we may be to others what our mothers have been to us.

3

The Old Rusty Bent Nail

The above title is inspired by a story told by Mark Link in his commentary on the readings for the fifteenth Sunday of year A. Here is the story:

There was a man named Bill. He was a prominent contractor. In time, the pressure of his business caused him to turn to alcohol. Before long, he separated from his family, and his business went bankrupt. One day Bill was walking down the street. He happened to look down. There on the sidewalk was a bent rusty nail. Bill thought to himself, That nail is a perfect picture of me. I’m rusty and bent out of shape too. I’m good for nothing but to be thrown away, just as that nail is. Bill stooped down, picked up the nail, and put it in his pocket. When he got home, he took a hammer and began to pound it straight. Then he took some sandpaper and removed the rust from it. Next Bill placed the nail alongside a new one. He could hardly tell the difference between the two.

A thought flashed through Bill’s mind. His life could be straightened out and sanded clean again, just as the nail was. But it wouldn’t be easy! Could he take the hard blows and sanding? He decided to try. Today Bill is reunited with his family, and he is back in the construction business. He owes everything to that old rusty bent nail that he found on the sidewalk at just the right time in his life. To this day, he keeps the restored nail in his wallet.

This, indeed, is a powerful life story that has a lesson for everyone. Those who work in recovery houses will tell you that those who depend on substances often reach the end of their ropes—rock bottom—before they would think of turning their life around. If you watched the film titled Ray, you would notice that the musician Ray Charles had abused drugs for years. For him to turn his life around, he had to make a conscious decision to get into recovery program; and this, was by no means, a child’s play.

You see, our God is a God of a second chance! He will always assist anyone who calls on him. But the conscious decision has to be made by the individual who needs help. The common saying is God helps those who help themselves. The Holy Book puts it even better: Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, [then] I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me⁵ Yes, the Lord will knock at your door, but you have to open and let him in. Only then will good things begin to happen to you.

The problem, at times, is we lack the courage to begin anew, to pick up the bits and pieces of our lives and do something about it. If we must, our courage must be accompanied with willpower and the belief in ourselves (self-efficacy) that the past could be corrected today for a better tomorrow. Having said this, it is good to note that compartmentalization and stigmatization often make it impossible for people to start afresh. Life has taught us that many of the rich people that we see and know in our society today were not all born with silver spoons in their mouths. Many of them made a lot of mistakes in the past but had the courage to rise above those mistakes in order to be the men and women they are today. Today we know them as