Sitting in the Flames: Uncovering Fearlessness to Help Others

By Dr. John Edwin DeVore

As reviewed by New York Times best-selling author Ellen Tanner Marsh, In clear, heartfelt prose, DeVore describes a brave and unflinching confrontation with his past, made necessary in order for him to have a more meaningful future. War, he realized, isnt just one mans experienceits the sum total experience of an entire country. To stop wars, he argues, we must understand them and why we seem to need them.
The gut-wrenching brutality experienced by American soldiers in Vietnam was for many the beginning of a lifelong personal struggle. Unlike many veterans, who were unable to cope after returning to civilian life, John DeVore moved with facility from success as an Army officer to success in corporate America. Nevertheless, like many other veterans, the war haunted DeVore and finallyin a process he narrates in this bookcompelled him to make a commitment to free himself and our country from the addiction to war.
Joel Andreas, author of Addicted to War: Why the U.S. Cant Kick Militarism

John DeVores important book chronicles the remarkable transformation of a professional soldier to a spiritual warrior of peace. A must-read for those interested in exploring the possibilities of a less violent global future.
Manfred B. Steger, professor of politics and government, Illinois State University; research fellow, Globalization Research Center, University of Hawaii at Manoa

DeVore offers a simple explanation of the interconnectedness of his Western cultural conditioning, globalization, the reality of war, his civilian and military careers, and his search for spiritual roots. He certainly is a living example of the fearlessness and desire to help others that can begin to emerge through willingness to work with personal emotional turbulence, fear, anger, pride, envy, selfishness, ignorance, etc., on a daily basis. His story really helps us experience that it is possible to turn bad things to good things.
Ringu Tulku, internationally recognized teacher and author of Daring Steps Toward Fearlessness, Path to Buddhahood, Lazy Lama Series, Comment on Gampopas Jewell Ornament of Liberation, Mind Training, The Boy Who Had a Dream, and A Perspective on Living and Dying. Ringu Tulku was born in Eastern Tibet in 1952 and was a professor of Tibetan studies for seventeen years. He travels extensively, teaches at Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado, and is director of seven meditation centers in Europe, the United States, and India. His home is Gangtok, Sikkim, in India, and his Bodhicharya website is www.bodhicharya.org.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 12, 2014
• ISBN: 9781503512719

Dr. John Edwin DeVore

Dr. John Edwin DeVore graduated from West Point with a BS degree; earned an MA in Religious Studies from Naropa University, an MBA and a PhD in Human Communication Studies from the University of Denver and an Associate Degree in Business (Golf Management) from The Golf Academy of America. He completed Advanced Teaching at The Golf Academy of America and served eight years in the United States Army, including two years of combat during the Vietnam War. His decorations include the Combat Infantryman’s Badge, three Bronze Star Medals, two Air Medals, two Army Commendation Ribbons, three Vietnamese Gallantry Crosses, and the Vietnamese Staff Medal of Honor. John’s civilian career spanned twenty-seven years as a corporate executive and a consultant. He is a student of mindfulness, awareness and self-restraint and is a spouse, a dad, a grandpa, a published author, a golfer and a pianist.

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Contents

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter One

Cornerstone Of My American Dream

Growing Up In Northwestern Ohio

The Experience Of Education

Family

Chapter Two

Immersed In The Myth And Experience Of War

Sitting In The Fire Of War

One Veteran’s Dissolving Ego

A New Perspective Of War

Chapter Three

Awakening To A Reality Of War

Career In Corporate America

Globalization

War

Chapter Four

Retirement And Second Maturity

Escape And Evasion

Search For Spiritual Roots

Seeds Of Serving Others

Conclusion

Appendix A

An Invitation: A Concept For Connecting Moral Values To War

Appendix B

Moral Values And Armed Conflict Dialogue Outline

Appendix C

War And Moral Values Syllabus

Appendix D

Basic Meditation Instructions

Appendix E

The Pledge Of Allegiance

Appendix F

Our Moral Values

Appendix G

Declaration On The Role Of Religion In The Promotion Of A Culture Of Peace

Appendix H

The Seville Statement On Violence

Appendix I

Top 25 Republican Party Donors With Global Consumer Brands, 1999–2003

Glossary Of Terms

Notes

Bibliography

Picture Credits

With respect and gratitude to Mom and Dad, my family, my teachers, and my leaders,

I looked for happiness, freedom, spontaneity, and peace,

And they were not there.

I looked for purposeful goals to achieve,

And they were not there.

I looked for wealth,

And it was not there.

I looked for friends,

And they were not there.

I looked for love,

And it was not there.

I was suffering,

And I want you to know.

I was doing the best I could,

And I want you to know.

You each have helped me,

And I want you to know.

I began to look for who I am,

And to awaken to the delusions of my mind.

What did I find?

All that was already there:

Peace, happiness, freedom, spontaneity,

Love and purpose,

Goals to achieve,

Friends,

The wealth of family,

And much, much more!

Today my days are not bad or good;

They differ only by degrees of goodness.

I love each of you,

And I want you to know.

Foreword

We are all living in a time of war. Either our country or a neighbor’s or an ally’s country is at war. Somewhere right this moment, combatants and civilians, terrorists, and innocents are dying at the hands of others. Some of these deaths are reported in the world media; many are not. Some consider these deaths justified or unfortunate collateral damage; others cannot justify a single death. But when the veteran warriors stand back from the destruction of war, they are sadder and wiser. As Mahatma Gandhi wrote, What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?¹

The Vietnam War, waged by the United States from 1965 to 1973, is now decades over; yet the impact of that war still shapes American culture in myriad ways. This was the first and the last war that routinely displayed its trench warfare on the evening television news. Fueled by the cultural revolutions taking place at home, the war became controversial in its intentions, its strategies, and its viability. Yet even as Vietnam veterans came home, controversies concerning the war prevented the American people from taking full responsibility and fully grieving the damage of war, both at home and abroad. This burden was left primarily with the Vietnam veterans themselves, and their resulting isolation set into place a powerful legacy. As Richard Nixon observed, No event in American history is more misunderstood than the Vietnam War. It was misreported then, and it is misremembered now. Rarely have so many people been so wrong about so much. Never have the consequences of their misunderstanding been so tragic.²

The Vietnamese Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh came to America in 1966 to convince our country to abandon this damaging war in his homeland. As a result of his campaign, he was permanently exiled, and he established a refugee community in France. By the 1990s, Thich Nhat Hanh began to meet with American veterans of the war, observing, My heart is still heavy. The condition of the war veterans—their heart, their mind, their body—do you think that they will ever be emotionally healed in this lifetime? I think they practice with all their heart and they are determined to relieve the past, they will be healed.³ Seeing that they were burdened by the pain of their wartime experiences, Thich Nhat Hanh began to lead meditation retreats especially for veterans. He explained to them they suffered for the entire American culture that had not accepted and processed that pain of that devastating war. He asked veterans to forgive themselves and to join him in acting as lights at the tip of the candle. The pain of war will be overcome only when it is acknowledged, and if the isolated warriors share their experience with others, the reality of war can be known. When we know war inside out, we know the cost of war.

John DeVore is just such a warrior. His young life was permanently shaped by the controversial war, and he has carried the burden silently for decades. I met him just after his retirement from an executive career, when John took the opportunity to delve into the burden he had been valiantly carrying all these years. He did not know what he would encounter in this burden, but this difficult journey has transformed him. He has found the genuine spirituality to become a light at the tip of the candle in the way Thich Nhat Hanh has described. He has burned hot and bright, and he has learned that he knows suffering personally and intimately. But he also knows that healing himself and our war-obsessed culture requires that he tell the truth about war. He knows that the war is still with him now and that the seeds of war in our culture continue to bear fruit. And he is committed to being a powerful force for healing our mutual obsession.

DeVore takes us through his intense experience in a war zone and traces the effects of war on his family life and career after the military. Then he carries us with him into mature reflection and the restless need to heal his burden. He shares with us the wisdom he has discovered in himself and in communion with other war veterans. But DeVore’s story is not just autobiography; it is a journey including all of us, unraveling the riddle of war at the heart of our culture.

This journey requires enormous courage and discipline. Trained as a warrior, DeVore knows these two, but this project has stretched his understanding of courage and discipline. He has had to develop the courage to be kind and forgiving of himself and others and the discipline to listen to his heart, not just orders given in wartime. His courage has allowed him to speak about how we are responsible for war, not just the combatants. His discipline has permitted him to speak of the narcotic of war that makes it so addictive. These would be easy for the historian or the social activist to say; it is much more difficult for the warrior. In final analysis, DeVore’s narrative is generous in its scope, insightful in its clarity, and bravely compassionate in its intention. This may be the only way we will ever eschew our habit of blind warfare. For that, we owe DeVore an incredible debt.

Judith Simmer-Brown, PhD

Professor, Religious Studies

Naropa University

November 1, 2005

Preface

Why and how did I write this book? I am very proud to be an American. This country has been exceptionally good to me, and it has been remarkably beneficial to my extended, living family, deceased parents, and many historical ancestors. Furthermore, I have faith that this powerful country will offer excellent opportunities for future generations. My vision for our land of opportunity and the American dream has three goals: we must undertake to create a global world that is nonviolent and peaceful; we must commit to be ethical and virtuous, with plain, nonviolent lifestyles; and lastly, we must have leaders and followers who are spiritually based and are genuinely committed to serve others.

Listening to and reading what our media offer certainly is cause to know that there is a great deal to be done to carve out such a vision for our country. Recent television and newspaper reports tell us of natural disasters, the war in Iraq, the global war on terrorism, anti-abortion groups and the ethic of life, the rise of the Christian right, debates over moral decline, and sex and violence in entertainment. An analytical glance establishes the least common denominator for these many sore spots to be that of fear.

I am a patriot who is on a mission to help sculpt a vision of the future for subsequent generations, and this mission has catalyzed a call to action for your author in the role of informant. The process of democracy encourages the discovery of truths that emerge from credible information and constructive tension, and as a patriot who is devoted to America, I am confident that our forefathers would not want us to blame others for our self-created maladies. Moreover, continuing to pursue a cultural norm that perpetuates and reinforces violence, aggression, and a deepening global chasm between the rich and the poor is certainly not in the best interests of contemporary Americans and generations of future Americans. The intent of this autobiography is to offer information and action that will stir creative magnetism between the vision and current reality, and that will definitely support closing a widening gap between a nonviolent and peaceful future for America and its growing array of sore spots that include blind loyalty to our nation above all others and placing emphasis on promotion of our culture and interests as opposed to those of other nations.

A second reason for writing this book is that both family and many friends have encouraged me to tell this story because they have been interested in my journey from the role of West Pointer, professional soldier, and two-year combat veteran to the role of spiritual warrior and peace ambassador. Of special interest to them has been the process of confronting the experiences of the Vietnam War, along with a commitment to be vulnerable and a willingness to transcend good and bad, while at the same time setting ajar gates of peace, compassion, true love, freedom, and security.

Following an extended process of sitting in the flames of the Vietnam War experiences, I became inspired to encourage other veterans to tell their war stories. A book seemed like a feasible way to offer such encouragement. As the words about the experiences and reality of war unfolded, I began to recognize that my entire life, in one way or another, had been about the pain and suffering of conflict and violence. Through deep reflection, it became very clear that each of these fiery ordeals was merely a personal Vietnam war and needed the same attention I had given to the experiences and reality of the Vietnam War. I needed to sit in the fires of these experiences and uncover the seeds of energy found in them. This autobiography is a collection of reflections, essays, and the work of inspiring authors that delineate these fiery struggles during certain milestones of my life: while growing up and raising a family, during service of our country, immersed in successful business career, and retirement and a search for roots.

My background and experiences suggest that there is an American way, and there is the American way. The previous is based on ethics, social, and economic justice; environmental responsibility; virtues; morals; equality; love; and a perspective for a more peaceful globe and a functioning democracy. The latter is evangelistic and is based on fear, greed, unjust armed conflict, environmental degradation, and a view of the world that contends that the rich must become richer and the poor poorer. This autobiography will unsettle the mind of the reader. Moreover, it will raise red and yellow flags of implied fear and specified behaviors that are promoting seeds of violence and aggression that further separate the rich from the poor in a very crowded world. This is far from an American way. Fortunately, credible information can help others connect, or perhaps reconnect, with fairness, equality, social and economic justice, environmental responsibility, and democracy. As an American, support of these values is a responsibility, not a partisan political opportunity or an occasion for personal aggrandizement. Each of us has the opportunity to confront our personal wars and move to higher ground for a bird’s-eye view of what is happening around us while at the same time being open to transformation and surrendering to a sense of openness that seeks understanding through open and honest dialogue. This is democracy, patriotism, devotion to America, and a glimpse of the American dream for generations to come. Within our grasp is a nonviolent and peaceful world. We can be ethical and virtuous and live plainly, and leaders and followers can be spiritually based and genuinely committed to serve others. It needs hard work, demands action, and requires just one step at a time.

Acknowledgments

My first note of thanks is for Cindy, my dear wife of over thirty years. Her generosity, kindness, patience, and knowledge of the computer have made this book possible. Without her assistance and support, I would still be back at the first page and wondering which key on the keyboard I should push to move to page 2. Moreover, she has always been there to help me, to listen to ideas, to discuss trials and tribulations, to temper the excitement, and to help me wrestle with the many doubts and concerns. She is a remarkable companion.

I want to thank Judith Simmer-Brown for being such a generous teacher, spiritual guru, and good friend. It is through her guidance, counsel, and inspiration that I have been able to sit in the flames of my many Vietnam wars and discover their lessons. Judith, without your compassion and generosity, this book would never have gone beyond the idea stage.

Many wonderful people have made a difference in my life, and one of those diamonds has been Nancy Bass. Nancy, your kindness, candor, and willingness to give of yourself will always be cherished. Your honest feedback and professional editing were timely, exceptionally constructive, and priceless. Thanks for helping me reduce many of my long lists, for pointing out where better organization would benefit the reader, for assisting my efforts to eliminate some of the personal trivia, and for correcting my faulty grammar and punctuation. Your family and friends are very fortunate to have you and your generosity.

My heart goes out to Chris Hedges for his priceless insight, advice, counsel, and input during the initial stages of the manuscript writing process. At the time, his remarks were both inspiring and devastating to a sensitive ego. He commented, While you have a compelling story, you need to do a lot of rewriting. I would suggest you get into a writing workshop and work through the material. It swings back and forth, part essay, part narrative, and part research. As rewriting, revising, and editing progressed, the more I began to appreciate his writing genius and his earlier generosity and assistance.

Ringu Tulku Rinpoche, your many lessons about the gift of life have become like light posts for my journey. Thank you for your simplicity, practicality, humor, beautiful stories, generosity, and compassion. You are most certainly my silent watcher. Moreover, thanks for helping me begin to experience that my life at birth was very simple and that as I began to be conditioned, to age, and to muck my way through quandaries, this life became very complex, full of suffering, and lacking purpose. This awareness has definitely developed the inspiration to claw back through the quandaries, the complexity, and the delusion for return to moment-to-moment simplicity, freedom, and peace.

A great deal of thanks goes to the staff at Xlibris Publishing for moving this autobiography from vision to reality. And last, but not least, a special note of thanks to all members of my family for their candid feedback, persistent encouragement, and patience during the many challenges of this writing process.

John

Introduction

This autobiography is about hammering out a path of escape from despair, unhappiness, depression, loneliness, and dissatisfaction; and it is a story that is intended to assist others who long to connect, or perhaps reconnect, with seeds of peace and moral values in either witnessed or experienced pain and torture of personal wars. This narrative is offered for my family and for military veterans and their families who thirst for a more peaceful globe. The hope for this account is that perhaps this information will inspire just one person to take one step and, in their individual way, discover peace for themselves and evolve to be an ambassador for peace in this very sore and crowded world. This chronicle is about a journey from early childhood conditioning to the trauma, pain, and myth of the professional soldier and trained killer, through life as a corporate executive, and continuing on to a world of an in-process spiritual warrior, the field of friendly and hostile strife where one discovers a sense of inner freedom, spontaneity, and a broader outer perspective that vastly expands one’s energy and available options for living the dusk of life.

While reflecting on an eight-year career in the United States Army, which included two years of combat during the Vietnam War, your author has experienced that while sitting in the white-hot fire of the trauma of armed conflict and other personal inner wars, there are seeds of spiritual vitality that beckon reflection and action. There is a sense of peace and freedom beyond that world of good and evil, the arena that for centuries has been the call of human kind to select sides and subject others to a prescribed way of life through violence and armed conflict that risks lives and limbs. Perhaps this collective violence is nothing more than what has politically been described in today’s world as terrorism. It is quite fascinating to note that even though the players change, the questions about violence and armed intervention remain the same: Who profits? Who pays? Who suffers?

At a very early age, the world of the soldier was magnetizing, and the stories of war and its heroes were inspiring. As a result of early childhood conditioning, the teen years of my life became a part of the myth of war and the many signs and symbols of the American way of life: the media yarns, the legends and stories about heroes who have given their lives for freedom, the flag, professional sports, big and fast cars, individual success, corporate profits, wealth, sex, pseudo love, movie stars and Hollywood, and much, much more. Yes, the fire to play in the game of perpetuating the American dream was burning strong, and the desire to become a hometown hero was ablaze too.

Concerning the myth of war, Chris Hedges of the New York Times contends that the hypocrisy of war is necessary to justify the horrendous sacrifices required in war, the devastation, and the killing of innocents. The story about war denies its reality and transforms the untruths, the fabrications, and the cruelty of war into visions for would be heroes.⁴ Hedges offers that the legend and story of war legalizes the drug of war; and as soon as we begin to take war’s heady narcotic, it creates an addiction that slowly lowers us to the moral depravity of all addicts.⁵

The longer I was in the U.S. Army, the more I realized that the life of a professional killer was not a good fit for me. For some unknown reason, a very deep fear of physical harm and death emerged, along with a passion to protect and reinforce my ego through self-serving behavior. Perhaps this was nothing more than a desire to survive. Today, it is fascinating to reflect on how confronting the perils associated with two years of combat can move one to discover that personal peace and freedom are available in the depths of our deepest fears. Fortunately, I was one of the lucky soldiers who returned without physical harm to the comfort and security of the United States and to the support of my family and many teachers.

Very soon, after my second tour of duty in Vietnam, irritation, and eventually anger, began to smolder in my mind because not a single person had said thank you for spending two years in Vietnam. It did not take long to understand that the Vietnam War had become a very unpopular political war. The soldiers who had been sent to Vietnam, who performed their jobs while there, and who were happy to be home with their families had become the bad guys and were responsible for the suffering of multitudes of innocent Vietnamese people. These prevailing sentiments and the unpopularity of the war were very discouraging and certainly not consistent with my historic wartime conditioning and experiences that had included returning soldiers who had been welcomed home and honored. All of a sudden, soldiering and wearing the uniform in public had become a liability, and the unkind words and rejection were surfacing two questions that would linger: Is there a better way than war? Why does one choose to suffer and cause others to suffer?

In 1993, still haunted by the two lingering questions, and following retirement from a twenty-seven-year tour of duty as a leadership and management executive in corporate America, I became obsessed with improving my bowling, and body-mind mastery appeared to be the answer to this passion for improvement. The solution that emerged was to learn to meditate: reading material had offered that use of breath as a focus for meditation was the link between the body and the mind. This quest to experience the connection between the mind and the body led to the discovery of Naropa University, a private, nonprofit, nonsectarian liberal arts college with a unique Tibetan Buddhist educational heritage that offers undergraduate and graduate degrees in the arts, social sciences, and humanities. Much to my surprise was that Naropa is located in Boulder, Colorado, only thirty miles from my backyard in Arvada, Colorado.

The Tibetan Buddhist heritage was of interest for two reasons. First, the early college years uncovered a keen and inspiring interest in oriental history; and second, the core discipline of Tibetan Buddhism is meditation that helps the practitioner reveal the nature of one’s mind and that can facilitate one’s journey from the mind to the heart. Little did I know at the time that the journey to Naropa University would help me discover that life is merely a spiritual journey and one’s challenge is to awaken to the marvels of this journey. This brings to mind Tolstoy’s questions: What is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times? It seems never too late to experiment; and to follow one’s bliss is exciting and, at times, scary.

During the Naropa University experience, the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh—a world-renowned writer, poet, scholar, and Zen Buddhist monk from Vietnam—were both moving and inspiring. The motivation received from Thich Nhat Hanh, along with that of a Tibetan Buddhist nun by the name of Chan Kong, was further energized because they both were involved in social activist work in the hamlets and villages in the vicinity of Saigon during the two years I was serving in Vietnam with the United States Army. Thich Nhat Hanh helped me begin to discover that the root of war is fear and that it is possible to rise above the chaos and confusion of war and enter into a heart-to-heart connection with the human suffering we discover in the grief, trauma, and pain of war. The good guys and the bad guys are both gifts to humanity, are both