Beyond the Ashes

By Faye Roots

Beyond the Ashes is an Australian novel set in the period when young people went on safari tours to the inland and climbed Ayers Rock. Turtle conservation and watching on the east coast of Australia was just beginning.

The themes of the novel are forgiveness and love and reveal how issues in the past can dramatically affect the present when tragedy strikes.

It is the story of a tragic road accident and a familys deterioration when communication between them fails and lack of forgiveness is allowed to fester. It is the story of a young womans journey to regain her fathers love and his journey to finally lay to rest his past and find life beyond the ashes.

It is also a story of faith and young marine biologist Martin Kelsos certainty that this family can be restored.

It is Kate and Daniels story. It is Raelene and Martins story. It is a story of hope. Many different people with their unique stories become entwined on the journey.

From the red heart of Australias centre to the blue of the Pacific Ocean and beaches on the east coast, no location can by itself heal the pain of human brokenness.

This is a fiction story and the characters and events are not based on any person or historical event. The east coast beach towns and scenes all have fictitious names. Only the places, towns in the centre, and Ularu (then known as Ayers Rock) have retained their names, but with the 1970s atmosphere.

Beyond the Ashes is a journey of the heart as much as it experiences a shifting of physical locations.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Apr 14, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499000672

Faye Roots

Faye Roots lives with her husband in the quiet rural area of Wolvi near Gympie in Queensland, Australia. They have three children and four grandchildren - a fifth grandchild is due to be born in 2017. From childhood Faye always had a passion to write and discovered this passion is unabated in more recent years. 'People in the stories are real to me. Their their sorrows and triumphs resonate in my own heart' she said. She emphasised. 'I write because I am a story teller and more than anything, my hope is the stories will inform by truth of history, inspire by faith, and are loved because of the people. Previous published books are Beyond the Ashes, Our God Lives - a book of devotionals, and Marranga-Limga.

Book preview

Beyond the Ashes

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Faye Roots

Copyright © 2014 by Faye Roots.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2014906638

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-4990-0069-6

                Softcover        978-1-4990-0068-9

                eBook             978-1-4990-0067-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 09/23/2014

Xlibris LLC

1-800-455-039

www.xlibris.com.au

610885

CONTENTS

Chapter One: The Accident

Chapter Two

Chapter Three: The Office

Chapter Four: Raelene

Chapter Five: Martin

Chapter Six: Journeying

Chapter Seven: The Centre

Chapter Eight: Reunion At The Alice

Chapter Nine: Rock—Catharsis

Chapter Ten: Kate/Endings

Chapter Eleven: Surprises For Raelene

Chapter Twelve: Matlock

Chapter Thirteen: Kate/Alienations

Chapter Fourteen: Turtle Crisis

Chapter Fifteen: Acceptance/Rejection

Chapter Sixteen: Information Surprise

Chapter Seventeen: Kate/Martin

Chapter Eighteen: Frustration

Chapter Nineteen: Raelene’s Journey

Chapter Twenty: Crash

Chapter Twenty-One: Kate/Daniel

Chapter Twenty-Two: Towards Healing

Chapter Twenty-Three: Raelene—Life Expansion

Chapter Twenty-Four: Early Morning Visit/ Surprise

Chapter Twenty-Five: Contact

Chapter Twenty-Six: Confrontation/Conversations

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Dragon-Slaying

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Bridge-Building

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Reunions

Chapter Thirty: Forgiveness, Love, Future

Perfect love and forgiveness cast out fear.

1970

Beyond the Ashes

This story is set in Australia with settings in the outback and on the coast. A novel of the ’70s. Ayers Rock when climbed was appreciated. A story of forgiveness, faith, and love.

CHAPTER ONE

The Accident

S ounds of angry, raised voices shattered the Sunday afternoon peace of the small rural community.

The small town of Hillsborough—overlooked by its protective semicircle of rock-strewn hills—shimmered mirage-like in the summer heat. It seemed more conducive to a siesta than to the resonance of violent argument.

‘I’m sick to death of you treating me like a child!’ Raelene screamed. ‘I will never be able to live up to your expectations of me and I only want to be accepted for myself.’

‘Be very careful how you speak to me, young lady. I won’t tolerate disrespect. I’m your father.’ Daniel Mahoney stood in the wood-panelled alcove of the spacious kitchen and glared at his 17-year-old daughter.

Every line of his taut, athletic body was stiffened with anger. He was surprised by the violence of his feelings and a little frightened of the sudden urge that made him want to shake the defiance from the face of the slight blond figure in front of him.

‘After all the advantages I’ve given you, all the opportunities, and still you haven’t settled to anything. You keep drifting along like the rest of your no-hoper mates. You’ll never amount to anything. If you were a boy, I’d soon pull you into line.’

‘That’s one of the problems,’ Raelene yelled back. ‘I’m not a boy. I don’t think like one and never will. I don’t share your hype for the business world. Your world takes up all your time.’ Her voice rose even higher. ‘Most times to the exclusion of your family!’

She stood back and glared at him. Long fair hair fell straight to her shoulders. Even with her face devoid of make-up, dark clearly defined eyebrows gave to it striking expression. They emphasised strong bone structure. It was a face that could never be called pretty but had appeal in its eye-catching forcefulness.

Kate Mahoney entered the room. She was struck immediately by the likeness between her husband and daughter. Shoulders squared, faces flushed, angry words scorched the space between them. Her slate-grey eyes glinted with blue fire while his had a dangerous icy flare in their blue depths.

‘Stop it, you two. Just stop it! I’ve had about as much as I can take with your constant wrangling. The arguments that set you both going are so trivial. Stop it!’

She turned and walked from the room, her slim figure tense and stiff as she tightly clenched her hands. ‘Stop it! I’ve had enough.’

‘Now look what you’ve done,’ Daniel shouted. ‘You’ve gone and upset your mother.’

‘That’s right. Blame me again for everything. You’re impossible. Your rules and big Dad attitude make me sick. You keep treating me like some little kid. I’m nearly 18 years old for God’s sake.’

Thirteen-year-old Stephen Mahoney quietly unrolled from the lounge chair and followed his mother out the door. He raked fingers through his tangle of fair hair. ‘If you two are going to argue, I’m off,’ he called over his shoulder.

‘Dad, I really need the car. I won’t keep it for long, I just want to go out for a while.’

‘Why don’t you listen to me when I try to explain something? I would rather you stay home today. You rush around all the time. It would do you no harm to stay home for a change.’

‘Wow! Look who’s talking. That’s rich coming from the one who is never here. I really want the car and you’re not going to stop me.’ She stamped her foot and shook her head. ‘It’s always the same. Whenever I want anything these days, I can’t have it for some reason or other or you give me big lectures on how to live my life and how I’m not the perfect little girl you want me to be. I’m not a little girl anymore. It’s time you realised it.’

She turned on her heel and strode towards the door, calling back, ‘Well, this time I don’t give a stuff what you think. I want the car. I need the car, and I’m taking the car.’

She ran the last few steps and flung the door shut behind her.

‘Raelene, please don’t take the car,’ Daniel called after her. ‘Raelene! Raelene!’ His voice was drowned out by the sound of the car’s starting engine as the blue sedan backed into the street and was driven off at speed down the road.

‘Stupid bitch!’ Daniel roared. ‘Just wait till you get home!’ Halfway down the path to the garage, he turned and made his way slowly back to the house

He was tall, fair-haired, suntanned, and well-built. His forty-second birthday was behind him by two months, but the spring of youth was in his step. He looked and felt like a younger man. ‘Why do we always fight over such unimportant things?’ he wondered. ‘She makes me so angry, yet I really do want to understand her.’ Shaking his head sadly, he went back into the kitchen.

‘Like a cup of tea, dear?’ Kate asked as she turned from the stove. ‘Only take a minute.’

‘Thanks, I certainly feel I need something.’

He sat down, tiredly resting his head on his cupped hands. ‘Kate, why does it always end up this way between Raelene and me these days? It never used to be so hard. It seems like every time we’re together we start fighting. If she hadn’t been so aggressively defiant, I probably wouldn’t have made such a big issue over the car.’

‘I think it has a lot to do with growing up,’ she replied gently. ‘You’ll have to learn to let the little girl go and start listening to her as an adult. Love, the problem has more to do with lack of communication than anything else. You’ll both have to work on it. She’s always saying you’re too busy to listen. God knows I don’t have any pat answers.’

She sighed. ‘I just know I can’t live with this constant bickering. Perhaps you both need to sit down and have a good talk. The arguments are becoming too frequent.’

She moved to stand beside him as she passed the cup of tea. ‘It will get better, dear.’ She put her arms around him and gently cradled his head. ‘It will get better. This phase will pass.’

Daniel sighed. ‘I sure hope you’re right. I can’t stand the way we’ve been acting lately.’

He turned to her, stretched up, and gently kissed her cheek. ‘I’ll try harder, I promise.’

Raelene drove fast and confidently. The breeze from the open window fanned her heated cheeks. Gradually her anger subsided.

‘Why is he always so impossible to talk to? I’m going to have to try harder to understand him.’ She wiped a hand across her eyes. ‘He’s such a pig at times, yet I do love him.’ She swiped again at the tears splashing down her cheeks. ‘Dammit! He treats me like some little kid.’

The voice behind made her jump.

‘Where are we going, sis?’

‘Stephen! What are you doing in the car?’

‘You guys were making such a lot of noise. I came to stretch out on the backseat. Only place to get a bit of peace.’ He laughed. ‘Come on, sis, let’s go for a drive.’

‘I don’t know, Stephen. Mum and Dad don’t know where you are. I think I should take you back as soon as possible. I’m in enough trouble as it is.’

‘Aw, come on, Raelene, we don’t have to go far. We could…’

‘I suppose a few extra minutes won’t matter. Okay then, a short drive. Once around the mountain, and then… home.’

She turned off at the signpost marked Lookout and began the climb to the summit. It was a glorious day of golden sunshine. The view overlooking the gorge was breathtakingly beautiful in the afternoon light. Far below, the river snaked like a sparkling blue ribbon between the hills. Everything looked green and fresh after recent rains.

‘No time to hang about,’ Raelene called to Stephen. ‘I’ll take you back now.’ He was peering over the edge of the viewing platform. They had stopped for a brief look at the highest place. Laughing, he caught up with her and together they returned to the car.

Stephen still argued. ‘Come on, sis. Another hour or two won’t matter that much. We could go on to…’

Raelene was adamant. ‘No, let’s go, Stephen. The folks will be worried. We’d better go home, now.’

She reversed the car and turned. The small sedan nosed its way forward on the short journey home.

‘Home again, home again, jiggedy-jig!’ Raelene sang. The wind whistled through the window. It fanned her long blond hair across the seat behind her. ‘Home again, home again. Time to face the music.’

‘Yeah! Right!’ Stephen laughed. His face was alight with youthful happiness.

The corner suddenly came into view. It angled sharply to the left.

Raelene realised she was not going to make it. She was travelling too fast! Her foot hit the brake, but it was too late. The car vibrated slightly and then slewed across the road. It bisected the corner and hurtled into space.

Blurred tree images flashed past like a distorted army of ghost gum shapes. Then, the car hit a rock. A resounding crash echoed through the forest. The car rolled once, twice and then again.

It finally came to rest, a concertinaed blue Magna Sedan rammed against a tree.

CHAPTER TWO

T he weeks following the accident remained for Raelene a jigsaw puzzle of fragmented incidents.

Shock, grief, and pain blended into one. Much that occurred in the early days were half memories punctuated by some moments engraved on her mind forever.

In the middle of hazy recollections of fast-moving people and voices, urgent and loud, she never knew if this was at the accident site, or later in the hospital, a clear voice cut through. ‘I’m sorry. The young lad is dead.’

She would always remember the sound of her father’s voice. It penetrated her consciousness like the cry of a wounded animal.

‘No! No! Not Stephen. NOOO!’

There were blurred remembrances of light, shade, and darkness. People running. A sense of motion. Her mother’s voice. ‘My… my daughter, Raelene. Is she going to be all right?’ Something was mumbled in a man’s voice. ‘Head injuries, bones broken, possible scarring.’ Promises of ‘best of care’.

Then again, strange, unreal feelings, lights flashing overhead. Then being moved through doors that swung shut behind.

In the midst of injections, proddings, probings, and the smell everywhere of disinfectant, one memory, stark and clear, sliced through the blackness of encroaching unconsciousness.

It was her father’s voice crying out in deep pain and anger. ‘I’ll never forgive her for this. Oh, God! Kate. Stephen. He’s dead!’

Then came the blessed peace of total oblivion and a blackness that covered all thinking.

*     *     *

Raelene remembered her mother in the weeks following. Quiet, calm, she brought to the hospital bedside gentle, loving care. Hiding her own grief, she always managed a smile. Her brown eyes were warm with loving compassion.

Raelene had only good memories of her mother.

Often Kate visited with her dark hair coiled in a neat bun, but usually it fell loose and swirled across her shoulders. She shared daily happenings and was the epitome of stability in an unnatural world.

For three months, life was a cycle of constant happenings. Raelene found it difficult to get events in their right order. Everything moved like an unwelcome dream. There was physiotherapy and learning to walk again when her legs healed. She became used to her partially shaved head and then watched, as head injuries healed, how her hair grew back darker than before. ‘It’s ash blond, love,’ her mother said. ‘It’s really pretty.’

Dr Richards remained positive and encouraging. ‘You have so much to be thankful for, young lady. Apart from the scar on your jawline, everything else has healed well. Even that will fade in time and improve with surgery at a future date if you decide it’s necessary.’

Raelene tried to sound grateful. Truthfully, she didn’t care anyway, because her heart pain was greater than any external scarring.

Her father, cold and distant, since the accident, hovered like a stranger at hospital visiting times. He came with Kate regularly for evening visits, but duty was engraved stonily on the unyielding set of his strong shoulders.

He only ever spoke to her in monosyllables and often nodded or shook his head when Kate tried to include him in their conversations.

Raelene wondered if he knew she had overheard what he yelled out on the day of the accident. She wanted to ask him, but there was never an opportunity.

She noticed her mother and father rarely spoke to each other when they came to visit. ‘What are they like at home?’ she wondered.

Her big separation from the family didn’t come until she was living back at home. After weeks of absence, she was unprepared for the sense of alienation she found in her formerly happy home.

The struggle to fit back was painful. She remained withdrawn and kept mainly to herself. Her mother and father barely communicated.

It took only the briefest mention of Stephen to stir Daniel to fury. He screamed at her, ‘If only you hadn’t disobeyed me and taken the car.’

Raelene tried to respond. She struggled to put into words something of her sorrow. ‘Dad, I can’t live with this guilt. I can’t turn the clock back. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… I…’

It was as if something cold and hard in Daniel exploded. ‘Sorry!’ he yelled. ‘Wilful defiance. Stephen is dead and that’s all you can say—you’re sorry!’

He knew this cold, uncompromising anger was wrong. Somewhere there was a warmer, more flexible side to his nature. But now inside him, he felt splintered and broken. His face wore a mask of flint-like hostility.

‘Dad, please, I… ,’ she tried again, but turned away when she saw the set of his jaw. ‘Oh, what’s the use. It’s never been any good trying to talk to you. You can’t imagine in the slightest how I feel. You won’t even try!’

It was then that anger, fuelled by grief, rose like a tidal wave of fury. It swamped her. ‘I’m getting out of here. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!’

She turned on her heel and, without a backward glance, reached the doorway. She flung open the door. It slammed with such force, a vase on the book table quivered, then smashed into fragmented pieces across the floor.

Daniel knew in that moment he should do something.

He took a tentative step forward, then stopped and stood very still.

When he spoke, it was as if the white-hot anger of their encounter had been dampened by an icy wind. His words came out cold, lifeless, but with the forceful resonance of finality.

Kate, in the back room, cringed. The words thrust into her heart like a knife.

‘Go!’ he said. ‘Get out of my sight. Go now! I never want to see you again.’

Raelene packed and left.

Packed was hardly the right word for the jumble of clothing and possessions she rammed into two cases.

The desire to escape was so strong, she was unmindful of any activity around her. Voices in the other room came as an indistinct blur. In the bustle of her frantic haste to get away, nothing else mattered.

Strange as it seemed to her later, the most poignant memory of that day was not the white-faced grimness of her father’s face, or even the picture of her mother crying on the steps. It was the sight of the bike, her brother’s black-and-red racing bike, leaning at a rakish angle against the side of the garage. The image wrenched her heart and a deep sob wracked her body.

‘I wonder why they’ve never sold or given away Stevie’s bike?’

*     *     *

Kate woke, her senses immediately alert.

It was dark. No moonlight filtered through the open window. She became aware of soft sounds coming from the direction of the patio.

‘Dan,’ she called quietly. She reached across the bed. The space beside her was empty. She felt for the switch on the bedside light and noticed the clock blinking—2:35… 2:36.

She fumbled under the bed and located one of her bedroom slippers. The other was nowhere to be found.

‘Sh—’ She broke off the expletive and in bare feet quietly walked down the hallway, across the lounge room to the front door.

She opened the door. The patio was in darkness. A soft breeze rustled the ferns. The four hanging baskets swayed overhead as dark moving shapes. She walked softly along the cool concrete decking. The chilling touch on her bare feet made her shiver.

‘Dan,’ she called. ‘Dan!’

No answer.

At the far end of the open patio, she could barely make out the dark shape of a hunched figure.

‘Dan!’

The only sound was a soft, thin cry, like an animal in pain. As she moved closer, the sound changed. She realized it was Daniel sobbing. His body was doubled over, his face buried in his hands.

The sound grew in intensity, and the huddled form shook violently.

Kate reached out and touched his shoulder.

He shuddered.

‘Daniel, let me help you. We need to help each other.’

‘No one can help me,’ was the muffled reply. He cringed from her embrace but moved over to let her sit beside him on the seat, his face drawn and haggard in the dim light.

Hesitant words came out in painful choking bursts.

‘Kate. I don’t think I can bear this. I miss him desperately. He was such a fun kid. I miss his smile, his laughter. He was my future. In some ways, I lived again in my son. It’s like life has disintegrated into ashes. Ashes, ashes everywhere, and somehow I’ve lost the impetus to go on. It’s as if… as if…’

‘Daniel!’ Kate’s voice echoed harshly in the still night air. ‘Stop it! Don’t you know how much I’m grieving too? Let me help you. God knows I need you to help me.’ She reached out her hand again. Again, he flinched and moved away… ever so slightly. Fractionally, beyond her reach.

‘Dan! Please don’t shut me out. We need each other.’ Her voice broke, the words came out in rasping sobs. ‘What about me, Dan? What about Raelene? She needs you. We both need you very much.’

He sprang up so quickly, Kate swayed forward on the chair.

‘Don’t speak to me about Raelene! I don’t even want to think about her.’

‘But, Dan, she’s our daughter. She needs us. She’s grieving too and so alone.’ A sob choked her voice.

His voice rose. ‘Why do you always keep bringing Raelene into everything? Don’t you know how I feel? As far as I’m concerned, she’s gone. I don’t want to talk about her.’

Something inside Kate splintered. ‘Oh yes’, she screamed, ‘I know how you feel, but what about me?’ Her voice was now broken and sobbing. ‘I feel as if I’ve lost my whole family, not only one child. Dan, what about me? What about us? What about our family?’

‘We have no family!’

He started to walk back along the patio. His movements were jerky and uncoordinated. As he turned back for a brief moment, Kate saw a flashed image of the man she used to know.

‘Kate,’ he called over his shoulder. His voice was tender and infinitely sad. ‘I love you, but you don’t understand.’

An unwelcome, overwhelmingly dominant image of his father, sharp and clear, flashed into his mind. He gasped.

‘Oh, Kate, I do love you very much but…’

‘Dan, I need you. There’s nothing we can’t weather together. Dan!’

He was already out of hearing. She heard the screen door swing and slam shut as she sank back into the chair. An overwhelming tide of grief and loneliness washed over her. Tears squeezed through her cupped hands and made wet patches on the lap of her nightdress.

Kate sat in the lonely darkness and cried until there were no more tears.

When the first sunshine touched the patio with weak rays of golden light, she was still there. Yellow and gold fingers caressed and highlighted the pale pink geraniums in the log tubs. The dew on the grass sparkled and danced.

She stirred as she heard the car start and thought vaguely that Daniel was leaving for work very early. As she shook her head, the tangled mat of her dark hair fell around her shoulders. Rubbing her red-rimmed eyes, she spoke into the early morning freshness.

‘There’s a time and a season for all things. I can walk this road no further. I don’t know yet what I’m going to do, but I have to move forward.’

She stood up and brushed hair from her face. Straightening her shoulders, she walked very slowly back into the house.

*     *     *

Kate never knew if Daniel noticed when she started to change.

He remained in some kind of vacuum, went to work, came home again, and rarely spoke.

Kate knew she had to take a day at a time.

She cleaned,