The Big Surprise: Caring for Mom and Dad

By Richard L. Peck

When aging parents start needing help living safely at home, you can be in for a big surprise. The help available can be more expensive than you ever imagined. And some of the resources available, nursing homes in particular, can be scary beyond belief. Never send me to a nursing home is a common plea from older family members. Author Richard L. Peck knows this as well as anyonehe went through the experience with his aging mother. But he comes at it from a different angle than most: he spent 18 years editing a magazine, Long-Term Living, that covered every aspect of long-term care. He saw the good, as well as the bad and ugly. He also became aware of the growing choices available to families seeking help with long-term care, choices you may not have heard much about, but they could save a great deal of money, emotional stress and frustration. These readable, bit-sized blogs will introduce you to a world you probably didnt know existed, one that will help you take care of Mom and Dad better than you thought possible.

Adapted from blogs written for the facility search web site SnapForSeniors.com, now known as CareLike.com. With permission.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 12, 2012
• ISBN: 9781479724727

Richard L. Peck

Richard L. Peck recently concluded 18 years as Editor of Long-Term Living and for eight years previous to that served as Editor of the clinical magazine Geriatrics. He continues to write and edit on new developments in the field of senior care and housing.

Book preview

The Big Surprise

Caring for Mom and Dad

Richard L. Peck

Copyright © 2012 by Richard L. Peck.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

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Contents

A Surprise In Store

Chapter 1 Assisted Living: A Place For Mom

Chapter 2 Too Much Stuff

Chapter 3 What’s Affordable Senior Care And Housing?

Chapter 4 What’s Affordable Senior Care And Housing? Part 2

Chapter 5 Granny In A Box

Chapter 6 Looking Back, Looking Ahead

Chapter 7 Aging At Home Tech: Ready For Prime Time?

Chapter 8 What Is Quality Care? Part I

Chapter 9 What Is Quality Care? Part 2

Chapter 10 Good To Go

Chapter 11 Buyer, Beware!

Chapter 12 The Sunny Side

Chapter 13 Focus On Staffing

Chapter 14 Unwelcome Neighbors?

Chapter 15 Ready To Rock ’N’ Roll?

Chapter 16 Lassie, Stay Home

Chapter 17 Like Family

Chapter 18 Keep Your Eyes Open

Chapter 19 Financial Help For Veterans

Chapter 20 Change On The Home Front

Chapter 21 Your Guide To Affordability

A SURPRISE IN STORE

IT’S FINALLY HAPPENED—an aging loved one (mother, father, spouse) is showing their age. They’ve having difficulty eating properly, remembering things and getting about the house safely. And now you’re the caregiver—it’s on you to help keep him or her as healthy and safe as possible. What will this mean to your life? What should you expect as the years unfold? What should you watch out for?

I recently concluded 18 years as Editor-in-Chief of Long-Term Living, a monthly magazine covering every aspect of the long-term care system you have just entered. At every level of care, I’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly. I know how difficult it is for people first encountering this system, I’ve been there. And we all know or know of someone who is going through this too. Everyone’s story is unique but they all share in the surprises, shocks, and ordeals they present, both personal and financial. Not talked about as much are the good things that can happen—the hard and caring work of providers, the often surprisingly pleasant environments, the unexpected sources of help.

In coming chapters I propose to do what I can to assist you in finding your way through this complicated system. I’ll try to make my offerings readable and short, offering you nuggets to think about and act upon and perhaps even enjoy. They’re adapted from blogs I wrote for the facility search web site known as SnapForSeniors.com*, and were aimed directly at visitors who were in your situation. I hope you’ll benefit and share your learnings, because others will benefit, just as I did from my own five-year experience with my Mom.

CHAPTER 1

Assisted Living:

a Place for Mom

SOMETIMES WHEN SEARCHING for an assisted living facility, it is hard to know exactly what you’re searching for, or what you’ll find when you get there. That’s because, as a recent study points out in the prestigious journal Health Affairs, the definition of assisted living is fuzzy at best. When does independent living rise to the level of assisted living care? When does assisted living evolve into skilled nursing? It has been tough to get agreement in the field as to where the borders lie—it usually depends on the state where you live and its rules.

One thing is for sure these days: assisted living offers a broad range of choices, even in one’s own neighborhood. And the good news is that there are national search engines, including my