A Ray of Hope

By Ebony Aiken

Fifteen-year-old Essence Imani Harris cant believe it. Her parents have both been called to a fifteen-month military deployment to fight the war in Afghanistan. She, her older brother, and younger sister must leave their home and friends in San Antonio, Texas to live with their aunt and uncle in Mississippi. Essence, nicknamed CeCe, wrestles with this change and the physical separation from both parents. After moving in with their aunt and uncle, the siblings begin to build lives for themselves in Mississippi. CeCe learns her aunt may be infertile, and the couple desperately want children of their own. This situation creates stress for all in household. CeCe holds things together, overcoming the stress and tension through her faith and examples from her mother and her aunt. Recognizing where she is, and not knowing what lies ahead CeCe re-commits her life to Christ, and she is tested by lifes trials. Seemingly, the gates of hell open and CeCe deals with death, loss, and some of her deepest fears. During this trying period, she bonds with her aunts parents who become surrogate grandparents to CeCe and her siblings. An answer to prayer, CeCes new grandparents help keep the family rooted in Christ and give them needed reality checks. With all that life throws at CeCe,will she find a ray of hope?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Jan 15, 2015
• ISBN: 9781480814615

Ebony Aiken

Ebony Aiken is a senior at St. Marys Hall School in Texas where she is a cheerleader and studies drama and speech. She plans to attend college and major in writing and mass communications. Aikens long-term career plans include storytelling and writing novels. Visit her blog at [e-mail].

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Copyright © 2015 Ebony Aiken.

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Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-4808-1462-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-1460-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-1461-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015900335

Archway Publishing rev. date: 01/12/2015

Contents

Part One Two weeks to Say Good Bye

1 Questions

2 Brotherly Advice

3 Celebrate Good Times, Come On!

4 Bye-Bye-Bye!

5 Getting Re-Acquainted: A Family Reunion

6 It’s All New to Me

Part Two Out with the Old and In with the New

7 Adjustments

8 Fitting In

9 Mr. Summers

10 Cheer Camp

11 Father’s Day

12 Vacation Bible School

13 Re-grounding

14 The Best of Times and the Worst of Times

Part Three Two Weeks of Hell

15 HELP!!

16 Lessons Learned!

17 A Ray of hope

This book is dedicated to all the strong women in my life, I want to say thank you for having such a positive impact on my life, thank you for sharing faith, hope and love. To my late Great Grandma Lucinda Perrineau, late Great Grandma Delia Mae Thames, late Grandma Rose Marie Aiken, you are all very much missed. And to my Great-Grandmother Willie Bell Kitchens, Grandma Ivory Bell Thames, and my Mother Tammy Thames Aiken may your lives continue to be blessed.

EBONY JAMILA AIKEN

Part One

Two weeks to Say Good Bye

1

Questions

I have dreaded this day since the last time one of my parents was given deployment orders, sending them to war. This time both have been combat deployed. Now my brother, sister, and I must move to Mississippi to live with my aunt and uncle. Our house is up for rent, and once again I have to leave my friends, family, and what seems like my entire life. This—life—it all seems so unfair, not to mention dangerous; I could lose both parents in a split second. War sucks!

I don’t fully remember Uncle Ramón or Aunt Amber Marie. I know we send them greeting cards every year around the holidays and receive one in return, but that’s about it; I don’t remember the last time I saw them. All I really remember is that Uncle Ramón is Daddy’s brother, and Tee-Tee Amber—short for Aunt Amber—and Mama are sorority sisters and good friends from college. In fact, Tee-Tee Amber introduced Mama and Daddy. Tee-Tee Amber is a schoolteacher, and Uncle Ramón is a cardiologist. I sometimes hear her and Mama on the phone, laughing like schoolgirls. Mama always stops when she realizes I’ve been listening or that I’ve entered the room. The way Daddy talks about Uncle Ramón, I would think they were close and that we would always go visit them, but I guess since Daddy is always busy flying somewhere with the air force, we don’t have time to see them.

I remember Daddy always talking about my grandfather and how his dying from a heart attack is the reason Uncle Ramón became a heart doctor. I can’t help but wonder whether they are actually close. Whenever Daddy talks about Uncle Ramón or Grandpa, he has this strange look on his face: from one angle, he looks happy and proud of his brother’s accomplishments, but from another angle, he looks sad and pained because he misses his father.

I never met my grandfather, but my mama once told me his death deeply hurt my uncle and my daddy. Mama said, Daddy went into the air force to honor Grandpa’s memory, because Grandpa had served and retired as a captain. Uncle Ramón had to become a heart doctor. He could not live with the pain of Grandpa’s death and not being able to prevent it. She said, He swore he would never let anyone he loved die from a heart attack again.

I’d always thought it was noble and beautiful that Uncle Ramón wanted to make a difference and help others.

Last night at dinner, Mama and Daddy made the announcement that they have two months before a fifteen-month deployment and our move to Mississippi. It was very quiet. My older brother, Eric, who is seventeen, just stared in disbelief, and my sister, seven-year-old Jasmine (Jaz) Rose, was a toddler at the time of their last deployment and wasn’t old enough to remember. All she knows now is that Mama and Daddy are leaving for their job. My grandmother Mae was there to help out the last time this happened, but now that she has passed away, we have no choice but to go with Uncle Ramón and Tee-Tee Amber.

Our parents asked Eric and me to stay so they could talk to us and told Jaz to go prepare for school tomorrow. They told us they would need us to stay strong, keep in contact, and look out for Jaz.

Eric, Mom said with a trembling voice, trying to hold back tears, I need you to become the man of the house and look out for everyone. You have grown up so fast, and I need you to make sure everyone stays on task. We’ll be able to Skype with you and write letters, so be strong. Now she had tears in her eyes.

And CeCe—Mom’s nickname for me—you’re growing into a beautiful young lady. Don’t ever lose that. Keep everyone respectable, and both of you obey your Uncle and Aunt.

Mom began to cry and tremble. Dad was on the phone with the commander and found out they ship out the week school gets out, which means we only have three weeks. It is now May 17, and Eric’s birthday was just last week. That was the last one Mom and Dad will celebrate with him for a while. Eric is now finishing his junior year of high school. We always said we wanted our parents to see our graduations, because we have friends whose parents haven’t seen theirs and so they feel somewhat incomplete. I just didn’t foresee this happening for us. The saying Expect the unexpected is definitely coming true.

I go to my room and get ready for school and the track meet that afternoon. Randolph High School made it to the finals, and I am really excited. Eric and I have a full day ahead of us, and the track team is counting on us to be fully rested.

I take my shower, and I get into bed and stare into space, my ideas making me anxious. Every time they get called to war, I get scared and nervous because there is never a guarantee they’ll come back. The last time they were deployed I was eleven, Eric was thirteen, and Jaz was two. I was old enough to know how ugly wars can be, because one of my friends lost her father to the war. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to my parents.

Questions start floating through my mind. What about the cheer squad? What about the track team or basketball team, my church family, my youth group? I knew this was going to happen. Wow, joy and pain seem to be recurring themes in this family. Every time I get settled into a routine, this happens. Now I just have to up and leave all the friends I’ve made behind. I really get tired of starting over, and it gets annoying to have to constantly move around. This isn’t how things are supposed to be. I guess I’ll just have to cope, because this always happens to military families. For once it would be nice to just settle down and not move. I have now become a pro at knowing the difference between sentimental things and junk. It’s hard to exhale and have fun because when I do, I’m afraid I’ll have to leave it all behind. I’m glad I have my brother and sister. We’re really close because we’ve been through a lot together.

This time it will be a fifteen-month deployment. I am just about to finish my freshman year at school, and starting over is not what I had in mind.

I check my phone and see a text from Bryan, my boyfriend. Goodnight, beautiful.

I reply, G’nite 54546.png 54721.png

This brings up more questions. I tell myself I’ll worry about it later. I really need some sleep, but I just can’t help it. I grab my diary to write out my thoughts and feelings on this.

Dear Diary:

I am so frustrated but also in disbelief about this entire thing. I can hardly believe my parents have to go to war again! This disrupts my entire life. I know this sounds selfish, but it’s how I feel. A great guy and a fun relationship, and I have to end it. He’s my first boyfriend. How do I tell him? Long distance isn’t an option, or is it? Our first kiss, our first date—the thought of leaving him is unimaginable. I had to remind myself that I am just fifteen years old. People come and go, and it isn’t the end of the world. I decided I would see where things went by the end of the school year, because I knew it wouldn’t last forever. I run through a mental checklist—I have everything ready for school tomorrow. I’ll turn off my lamp and go to sleep. I know there is nothing I can do about it, but why does war sometimes feel like a death sentence to your family? There is nothing beautiful about war at all besides the people who are so willing to sacrifice their lives for the greater good of this country. I hate all of this.

CeCe 54836.png

2

Brotherly Advice

M y alarm clock goes off at six fifteen in the morning. After I get up and brush my teeth and wash my face, I get dressed. Today I wear my game-day shirt and khaki skirt. I start to play my pump-up music when Mom knocks on the door. She braids my hair into a fishtail and braids my ribbon through it. I lightly apply mascara, blush, and my favorite vanilla-scented lip gloss. I grab my book bag and gym bag and head downstairs.

Mom and Dad have fruit and yogurt on the table for us to eat. I couldn’t help but notice the boxes collected in the den. Dad takes Jasmine to school. While I am waiting for Eric to finish getting ready, I get a chance to talk to Mom.

Thank you, Mama, for doing my hair. Will you be able to come to my track meet? I ask.

CeCe, there’s no need to thank me for doing your hair. I’m your mom, and that’s what I’m supposed to do. I can’t let you look raggedy. What time is your track meet?

Well, my first event is at one thirty and Eric’s is at one.

Okay, well, your dad and I will be there. Did you get your grades back from your English report, or your Biology exam?

Yes, I did good! I got a ninety-two on my English report and an eighty-seven on my biology test.

Eric comes downstairs covered in the smell of aftershave. I know some girl has to be involved—he is never this excited to go to school.

You ready, Essence-Imani? he asks way too enthusiastically, calling me by my government name.

My real name is Essence-Imani, but my nickname is CeCe and has been ever since I was a little girl. My parents only call me by my full name when I’m in trouble and Eric only calls me by my full name when he wants to annoy me.Yeah, but why are you so eager? This is soooo abnormal for you.

I’m excited for the track meet, he says.

Whatever. I know it’s something else. You never get this excited to go to school, even on a good day.

Mom gives us our lunch and tells us to take the yogurt and fruit with us. On days we have meets or games, she makes us lunch. Just another thing I’m going to miss. Eric finally got a truck last year for his sixteenth birthday. They felt he was more responsible, although I think it was just because they got tired of driving us everywhere. It’s a Toyota Tacoma. I still want to know why he’s so eager for school.

So seriously, why are you so happy? And you have cologne on, which you only wear every now and then. So what’s up?

Well, since you have to know, this girl, Alonah, is pretty cute, and of course she’s interested in me.

Wait—Alonah from the cheer squad? She likes you? Hmmm.

What? Don’t you like her?

Yeah, we’re okay. I’m just shocked you actually like her and she likes you back. I mean why would you get into a relationship with her when you know we’re going to be leaving soon? To myself, I think about her having more than one boyfriend from the Varsity football tea, I wonder if he knows or if I should mention it?

We’ve been talking for a while, and it’s just for fun—nothing serious!

But she likes you and you’re going to just break her heart just so you can just have ‘fun’? You’re just triflin’! Hmmm …

CeCe, would you chill? I got this! Eric says, slightly annoyed.

Seriously, Eric, it’s not right to play with someone’s feelings, especially when you have information that you know will affect them, I say, mocking him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I’m still older than you. I guess, what I’m trying to say is I understand, but I’m still going to be there for you, but I’m going to live my life no matter what. I’m gonna do what makes me happy as long as it’s not crazy or could end up bad!

Whatever. I don’t see what your age has to do with being fair with someone and doing right by her. Anyways, I’m gonna let you do what you want. You’re right. I see what you’re saying, and I agree. It’s just … I mean, instead of wasting my teen years thinking about things I can’t change, I should just go with it and accept them!

I know, Eric replies jokingly with a grin on his face.

There’s this long pause while Farewell by Rihanna plays in the background. Besides basketball and track that’s another way we bond—we listen to our play list of music on the way to school every day. Eric is really all I have besides Jasmine; we have been through a lot together. I mean sure, we have our fights, but for the most part we are really close because for a long time we only had each other. Before Jasmine was born.

At the stoplight near school, I ask Eric So have you thought about a long-distance relationship?

Not a chance. Why would I want an attachment to something that isn’t meant to last long? If this has to do with Bryan, you’re setting yourself up to be heartbroken. I mean you would never be able to see him, and it’s your first relationship. You’re going to get to Mississippi and find another guy who you like, and Bryan will find another girl he likes.

Yeah, I guess you got a point. Thanks, Eric. You always know the right thing to say and always have a solution.

I get out the car and go inside before he can ask any more questions. Between him, and Dad they would be over protective.

Love you, Eric, I shout, walking toward the school door. I just remembered that we have a biology lab today. Since we have thirty minutes before class, I go take my history and vocab quizzes since I’ll miss those classes for track. I change out my books at my locker and head to class. I catch up with my friend Deja and we head to class. Deja was my first friend when I came to Texas a few years ago. We go to the same church and have a lot in common, from job choices to sports to hobbies. People think we are sisters. At first I thought because we went to a predominately white school they just assumed because we were both black, but really, we are so alike even people at church think that.

We walk into the classroom, and the formaldehyde stinks so badly. I completely forgot we are dissecting frogs today. I grab the lab sheets, aprons, and goggles and take a seat. Bryan is in my first-period class, but I decide to be partners with Deja because I need to focus and don’t want to think about telling him yet about the big move.

The lab wasn’t too difficult to get through once I got over the smell of formaldehyde. The morning passed by pretty quickly, and before I know it, it’s time for lunch. I’m hungry and want to see what my mom packed me for lunch.

I open the bag and find a letter from her. That’s a rarity, but I appreciate it.

"Hey, CeCe, hope you’re having a great day. Enjoy your lunch; make sure you turn in your homework for classes you will miss. I love you and miss you already. See you at the track meet! 54703.png "

That letter makes me feel very warm inside. I put it in my wallet and continue eating my lunch. My mom packed a turkey sandwich, a banana, and Cheetos. I drink my Propel bottled water and enjoy talking with my friends.

I’m so excited we only have a few weeks left of school! I can’t wait for summer, says Deja.

Yeah, it’s gonna be some kinda summer, I say with some sort of anxiety in my chest.

I can’t tell them now, I think. I know I have to tell them soon, I just don’t know how.

At that moment Alonah comes up and wants to talk to me about Eric. I spot Eric in the cafeteria eating lunch with his friends, and he looks at me with a please-say-good-things-about-me-and-I-will-love-you-forever look. And I give him the and-if-I-don’t-I’m-screwed-right? look.

So CeCe, how have you been? Are you excited for cheer next year? Alonah asks, all enthusiastic. She is always so peppy. I have only seen her sad or cry once and that was when her brother died in a car accident at the beginning of the year. Alonah is also a junior like my brother and is really pretty.

Oh, I’ve been well, and yeah, cheer will be some kind of interesting! I say, effortlessly beating around the bush. Our move to Mississippi is going to eat away at me until I tell everyone. I just don’t know how to even start the conversation.

I brush off the emotion and just add it to the pile of everything else I’ve been dealing with. So what’s up? Do you need something? I ask with a programmed smile on my face.

Yeah, I need to talk to you about Eric.

Eric, I say as if I didn’t know. What about him?

I really like him and just wanted to know if he is interested in any other girl.

Nope, I don’t think so. Are you going to tell him?

Should I? Alonah asks with a slight hopefulness in her tone.

Yeah, go for it; he likes girls who are honest. All I can think is I hope I’m not selling her false hope, but really, I’m in a lose-lose position because if I do I’m hurting another girl, but if I don’t I’m frustrating my brother.

Her face flushes red as she slowly gets up and walks to Eric’s table.

I can’t help but watch to see what happens. Deja is laughing and staring; she has always thought my brother was attractive, so she’s secretly hoping Alonah fails.

Eric looks up and sees Alonah coming over and shoots me a what did you do? glance, and I give him a thumbs up and a half-smile (that’s a go for it move). He gets up and they leave the cafeteria.

Deja and I move to a table closer to the window and see them talking and flirting. I’m thinking, If you haven’t asked her out already, just do it. They exchange a little dialogue and then get up, hug, and go separate ways.

Alonah comes back in the cafeteria and sits with me again.

So how’d it go? I ask with slight regret in my voice.

"CeCe, you were right. He actually does like me and now we’re dating! We’re going to the movies after the meet