Sisi's Journey

By Angela C Charles

Lilly Mason's gut-wrenching decision changes everything, including the life of her beloved baby girl, Sisi.

 

Raised on a Caribbean island by her grandmother, Bridget "Biddy" Mason, Sisi learns quickly about unconditional love, the importance of faith, and the significance of family.

 

When Biddy gets too sick to take care of her, Sisis must endure the cold, inhospitable home of her distant father and callous stepmother in Canada.  As the granddaughter of a former indigenous chief on the island, Sisi does not fit in at school or university.  Although a gifted student, she constantly has to deal with rejection, racism, and relentless bullying.

 

Are Faith, Hope, and Love enough for this Kalinago girl to survive?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Angel Hope Publishing
• Release date: Jun 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201891183

Book preview

Chapter 1~Letting Go

Lilly Mason hunched forward with outstretched hands in the dim glow from the last small stub of a candle. Her long black hair, braided in two, reached her waist as she sat on the tattered mat made from scraps of cloth, which served as the base for an old single mattress. She had come to terms with the fact that even one more day of living this hand-to-mouth existence outside the Kalinago Territory would sap the life out of her and her baby girl.

The candle had almost burnt to the bottom. The wax pooled around it in the empty tuna can, but the old can was all Lilly had. All she could afford. It was either that or the mud floor of the shack. The light flickered, then with a last hurrah, burned brightly to reveal her trembling hands. Her eyes pooled with tears that soon ran down her cheeks.

After wiping away the tears, she gently stroked the face of her baby who was sleeping peacefully in a hand-crafted Kalinago basket. One hand rested protectively on the basket while the other tenderly wrapped the old, frayed shawl around her baby daughter. My precious child, you're my life, my hope, my everything. Sisi[4] was the light keeping the darkness from taking over her heart and her soul. The baby gave her the strength to wake up every morning with hope. It was time to give her daughter hope for a better tomorrow. 

How can I take care of you, Sisi? Lilly groaned and pressed a hand on her forehead. This is hard, but I must do it.

It was a gut-wrenching decision but essential for her baby's survival.

Her husband, Trevor, had disappeared without a trace. She'd tried to raise the baby on her own, with no means of moral or financial support. Unsuited for work outside their Territory, despite her position as the Chief's daughter, Lilly had to abide by the law and leave the Territory after she impetuously married a non-Kalinago.

Trevor had not provided a comfortable home, nor did he fulfill his duty to provide for her basic needs and comforts. After the wedding ceremony, they had wandered around, with no place to lay their heads, until they stumbled upon a deserted shack containing the meager belongings of the previous occupants.

Tired and discouraged, Lilly had stumbled onto the floor of the shack, grateful for even this place. On the other hand, Trevor had stood at the entrance and turned up his nose at the surroundings. Although he had no money for more, he ridiculed her efforts to clean the shack, making no effort to help her or to look for more suitable housing.

Lilly hoped he would have a change of heart, and eventually, she could get her personal belongings from the Territory when they moved to a proper place. One morning, not only was she alone, but she was also pregnant. Her world fell apart. During her later months, when she had begun to feel the baby move inside her womb, she could no longer fetch water and cook on the outside fireplace. Helplessness, shame, and humiliation broke her spirits. She'd become someone she did not recognize, an impoverished young woman who depended on the goodness of strangers for survival. 

Although some people patronized or ignored her, one family in the village had heard of her plight and left cooked meals, bread, cheese, fruits, and water at her door. Lilly had stood in the doorway, clasping her hands to still the trembling, to speak with a family member before the person could leave.

Tears of gratitude had filled her dark brown eyes. Wait! Please. I want to thank you and your family. Thank you for caring about us. I appreciate your kindness and generosity. Thank you for the food, clothes, and basket for my baby. Thank you for the cooked meals. It means so much! It is everything to us.

She could never repay them. Their thoughtfulness had humbled her when she found the Kalinago basket outside her door. Tears filled her eyes, and the cords around her heart tightened even though she knew that kindness never needed to be repaid. Lilly's shame knew no bounds when the baby stared back at her with calm eyes after seeing her tears. At least I'm lucky that you're an angelic baby. 

Lilly stared unseeing into the darkness. She was once someone with a secure, loving home. Loving parents. Then, she was a happy teenager who greeted visitors in the Kalinago Territory and performed traditional dances with the local dance group. But those felt like a distant memory. She did not need a mirror to reveal the truth; she saw it, felt it. That young dancer's body was broken, shrunken, and wracked with pain and grief. Sorrow filled her mind and soul, becoming her constant companion. She was tired. Tired of living with lack. Tired of stumbling in the dark.

Lilly lifted her head and sighed softly. She stood and gazed around the one-room dilapidated shack for the last time. Wooden poles propped up the structure, and air flowed in through the door and in the cracks of old wooden boards haphazardly nailed around the structure. A piece of cloth draped over the only window and the broken wooden shutters hung precariously on one side. The box that held her meager possessions was safely tucked under the table. They were of no use to her. The place held no joy, no memories—nothing of value. 

Lifting the basket with the sleeping baby close to her chest, she turned, blew out the candle, stepped outside, and pulled the door shut.

Weeds did not survive, and even mangy dogs avoided the area. The wasteland extended to those existing with broken dreams and dashed hopes in all the nearby ramshackle sheds. A place for those on the way out, for the downtrodden, for those with nowhere to go. She had somewhere to go. She had found her courage. Lilly breathed in deeply, then jutted out her chin, allowing every step to take her further and further away from the bleak, lonely existence. The hem of her long skirt collected dust as she walked along the path. 

Another world existed outside of that small forgotten area. Although it was still dark, Lilly smelled the warm fragrant air as she walked down the familiar twisting road surrounded by trees, citrus fruits, and vegetable gardens. The silence in the early morning made her tighten her hold on the basket and sharpen her resolve. She spoke softly to her baby.

My precious child, my life has not turned out as I expected. You're the Chief's granddaughter, and I want a better life for you. You don't have to pay the price for my mistake. Sisi, my love, please forgive me for not taking you back with me to the Territory.

Lilly adjusted her hold on the basket. I'm taking you to your father's mother. She's a teacher. She'll ensure that you have the best education. You'll be in a place where you'll thrive and prosper. Although Teacher Biddy is not Kalinago, she's kind and will love you unconditionally. Rest, my child. You come from a long line of storytellers. Now let me tell you a story.

~

Lilly stood at the door of the house belonging to her mother-in-law, but her eyes were drawn to the orange glow from the rising sun, signaling the dawn of a new and glorious day. Night was slowly disappearing as the soft rays enhanced the yellow buttercups at the front of the house and the green, red, and orange croton hedge along the pathway. The light not only heralded the beginning journey of the sun as it moved in the skies, but it also declared the start of the journey for her baby girl.

Inside the house, she removed the baby from the basket and thrust her at Bridget Biddy Mason before losing courage. Here, you take her. Then she hid her hands to keep them still, afraid of reaching up to reclaim her child.

Biddy stared at Lilly in confusion, hands automatically reaching out to hold the baby. Biddy was of average height with a brown caramel complexion and curly black hair in large twists pinned up at the back. Her morning coffee, completely forgotten.

Lilly! What has happened? What's going on? Biddy rocked the sleeping baby.

A slight wind could blow Lilly away. Her face was hollow, and her normal light brown skin looked paler. She appeared ten years older than her years.

Lilly shook her head, then placed a frail hand on Biddy while she gazed at her daughter. Lilly's nails were bitten and ripped. You’re a teacher. You’ll raise her right.

Lilly...

She quickly interrupted. Please. Your son left me. I cannot manage. A single tear slowly rolled its way down Lilly’s cheek. Her lips trembled, and her shoulders heaved with emotions. Please take her. Love and protect her. Educate her. Give her a life. Let her fly. Please!

What’s her name?

Sarah.

A good name. Fit for a princess.

But I call her Sisi. It’s part of our name for a bird.

Lilly’s eyes stayed on the baby. She’s a good baby. Not fussy. She’ll not give you any trouble. She stroked Sisi’s face. The pain in her chest intensified. Teacher Biddy was Sisi’s only hope. Besides wanting a better education for her daughter, Lilly knew the council in the Territory viewed single-mother households as ultimately leading to a breakdown of the Kalinago family.

Biddy nodded, but her eyes were full of concern. You don’t look ... .

Teacher Biddy, only Sisi matters. Please take her.

Tears trembled on Biddy’s eyelids. She grew quiet, looked from Lilly to the baby, and sighed. The child was the image of her mother. She lifted her head and gave Lilly a sad smile. Of course. 

Lilly let out a deep sigh. Tell her I love her. I’ll always love her. She squeezed her eyes shut.

After opening her eyes, she took one last lingering look at her daughter, bowed her head, and turned her back. 

The screams stuck in Lilly Mason’s lungs as she got further and further away from the house. She wrapped her arms around her body and shivered. She had reached the peak of her life when she gave Sisi a future and the freedom to fly. Now she had no reason to live. Exhausted and unrelentingly depressed, she returned to the bosom of her people in the Kalinago Territory. 

Chapter 2~Biddy

Biddy’s goal to become a teacher had materialized in her late teens, earning her the distinction as the youngest teacher on the island. Teaching brought her joy, and she found pleasure in shaping young minds. But after a couple of years, her family and friends wanted to know why such an attractive woman was still single. Was there a problem? When would she find a suitable guy and get married? When would she start a family? Their constant pressure wore her down. 

She was in her mid-twenties when, against her better judgment, she decided to marry Jack Mason, the ‘no-good’ son of a prominent merchant in the island's capital. Love blinded her to the signs and glaring display of his many faults and failings, while her ears closed to friendly warnings and numerous whispers. 

She had eagerly arrived at the church on their wedding day on that hot, overcast afternoon only to find the groom missing. Her first thought was that he had stood her up. She started to have doubts about the wedding and him and conjured all possible scenarios for his delay. What am I doing here? I hope Jack shows up. If not, I’ll just die of shame. I hope he has not been in an accident. Breathe, Biddy, breathe. 

Taking a calm breath to tune out the chatter in the car, she looked up at the dark, heavy clouds, praying the forecast of afternoon showers would not come true. The wind whispered through the trees, and she turned to gaze out the car window. She looked around at the sound of a car. Jack had arrived. Relief and excitement drove the lateness from her mind.

~

Following the social custom on the island, her husband took turns hosting a weekly Friday gathering with his friends at their home in the city. During those times, the conversations became louder and more boisterous the more the drinks flowed. Biddy remained in the room to show support for her new husband and to meet social expectations but often wondered if they heard or understood one another. The alcohol loosened their tongues and gave them the courage to spill family secrets, repeat the latest gossip, preach, or tell the unadorned truth.

Usually, out of respect for her presence, the conversation revolved around almost every person they knew outside of themselves. But one evening, the well of available people ran dry, and they could no longer keep their secret.

The smell of alcohol hung in the air, and laughter reverberated around the room. While Biddy sat with the other wives, trying her best to tune out the raucous sounds, her ears perked up at the sound of a name. Her breathing stopped. The banter had turned personal. His friends loudly proclaimed their secret to everyone in the room. They’d had to search everywhere for Jack on his wedding day. The news hit her like a bucket of cold water. 

But they were just getting started. Calling for another round of alcohol and fueled with spirits, the story resumed with a jaw-dropping detail. It was hours before the wedding that they found Jack with one of Biddy’s younger relatives. One of the search team joked that he acted unapologetic when they dragged him half-naked from the room. Raucous laughter and back-slapping followed as some doubled over in their chairs, holding their stomachs. Jack was in his element. The hero to the falling-down drunks. 

The detail entered Biddy’s brain. Just as the waters of a river wash away everything in its path, so too the detail flowed through her entire body and froze everything it touched. Then the pounding of her heart got louder and louder as blood rushed to her head. She stared at the floor with dry eyes, unable to look at the women in the room. She wished a hole would open and swallow her. She wanted to escape.

Not possible. Biddy’s heart dropped. They had recounted the story too easily, too practiced. She could bet her life that they told the story over and over, with a flourish, at every domino game. 

The following week became a living nightmare. The more Biddy threw hysterics, the more her husband remained unperturbed. She cried, berated, and cursed him, refusing to leave the house while he calmly took whatever she threw at him. Society accepted his behavior, and he wore it as a badge of honor. Jack only cared about himself, a beautifully wrapped package, but the box was empty.

Biddy could not look anyone in the eye for the longest time, convinced they pitied and felt sorry for her—the butt of everyone’s joke. Teacher Biddy would be the fodder for the next calypso. She already had one foot out the door when the doctor confirmed she was pregnant. She had to choose between staying and leaving.

Her desire to get married felt so strong that Biddy was certain her marriage to Jack had been part of God’s plan, but after her