Spacious Passion

By Ngakma Nor’dzin

2009 revised edition. A Buddhist book exploring the sutric teaching of ‘The Four Thoughts that turn the Mind to Practice’ as vividly relevant to our everyday lives: the extraordinarily precious opportunity to live as an honourable human being; the experience of impermanence that pervades our existence as an opportunity to awaken; the emotional and psychological patterning which dominates our lives (karma); and the seemingly endless cycle of dissatisfaction in which we imprison ourselves. Each chapter ends with a series of questions and answers which are both pragmatic and inspirational. Ngakma Nor'dzin has been a practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism for more than twenty years

• Language: English
• Publisher: Aro Books worldwide
• Release date: May 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9781898185161

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Spacious Passion

Spacious Passion

Spacious Passion

Ngakma Nor’dzin

2009

Aro Books

worldwide

, PO Box 111, 5 Court Close, Cardiff, Wales, CF14 1JR

© 2009 by Ngakma Nor’dzin Pamo

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Book design and typography by Ngakma Nor’dzin

Edited by Ngak’chang Rinpoche, Ngakma Shardröl, Naljorma Chatral and Ngakma Métsal.

Technical support by Ngakpa ’ö-Dzin Tridral

Third Edition 2009

ISBN 978-1-898185-07-9 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-898185-15-4 (hardback)

ISBN 978-1-898185-16-1 (ePub)

For further information about Aro Books

worldwide

please see http://aro-books-worldwide.org/

To obtain copies of all our publications please visit https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/arobooksworldwide

This book is dedicated to my Tsa-wa’i Lamas, Ngak’chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen Tsédrüp, to Khyungchen Aro Lingma and the gö kar chang lo’i dé, and to the ngak’phang tradition of the Nyingma School.

May the Vajrayana tradition of Padmasambhava & Yeshé Tsogyel thrive in order that all beings may realise the nonduality of spacious passion and passionate space!

If there is any value to be found in this book, it is entirely due to the inspiration of my Tsa-wa’i Lamas, Ngak’chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen Tsédrüp, the Aro gTér Lineage, and the Nyingma Tradition.

Any shortcomings are entirely due to my own inadequacies.

Line drawings by Khandro Déchen Tsédrüp & tantric art students.

Cover thangka painting of Jomo Pema ’ö-Zér Dri’mèd Yingma by Venerable Kumar Lama.

Acknowledgements

It is with great gratitude that I acknowledge the inspiration, patient assistance and encouragement of my Tsa-wa’i Lamas, Ngak’chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen Tsédrüp.

I also thank Lopön Ögyen Tanzin Rinpoche for his help with the Tibetan references in the text and kindly interest in my work.

The creation of this book would have been impossible without the love and support of my husband and sang-yab Ngakpa ’ö-Dzin Tridral Dorje. I give him my heartfelt thanks for his enthusiasm and aid in bringing this work into being.

Thanks are also due to many vajra brothers and sisters who have helped me – in particular Ngakma Shardröl Du-nyam Wangmo and Ngakma Yeshé Zér-tsal Wangmo.

The question and answer sessions that form an important part of this work arose from readings of draft chapters of Spacious Passion during retreats and apprentice study groups. My thanks go to our vajra family of apprentices. Your intelligent and honest questions are greatly appreciated.

Ngakma Nor’dzin Rang-jung Pamo

Aro Khalding Tsang, Cardiff, Wales

October, 2006

Foreword

Tibetan foreword

Tibetan foreword

I believe Foreplay¹ by Ngakma Nor’dzin is a very good book. Although the presentation of The Four Thoughts is entirely Western and hence accessible for people living modern lifestyles, I found she has a profound understanding of the subject from the perspective of the Nyingma Lineage. It is clear that she has closely followed her teacher’s words and displays well her inner realisations.

I am glad that in this degenerate time we have such wonderful Western practitioners. I rejoice that through the inspiring guidance of Ven. Ngak’chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen, students like Ngakma Nor’dzin Pamo are able to gain genuine realisation. I look forward to more writings for Western readers of the same high standard in the future.

With lots of prayers and thugs-dam-dgons’phel!

Lopön P. Ogyan Tanzin Rinpoche

Littlebourne, Kent on 23rd November 2004

Khyungchen Aro Lingma (khyung chen a ro gLing ma)

Khyungchen Aro Lingma (khyung chen a ro gLing ma)

---

‘Foreplay’ was the working title of Spacious Passion – a play on words with regard to these teachings being a ngöndro (preliminary practice before the main practice) and having four parts. Khandro Déchen later suggested the title ‘Spacious Passion’.↩︎

Introduction

Khandro Déchen and I are delighted to write this introduction to Ngala Nor’dzin Pamo’s first book. We have known her since 1980 when she became our first student – closely followed by her husband Ngala ’ö-Dzin Tridral.

In 1989 Ngala Nor’dzin Pamo entered vajra commitment and became our first disciple. It was Ngala Nor’dzin Pamo who first requested ordination as a ngakma (sNgags ma) and thereby initiated the fulfilment of our promise to Kyabjé Düd’jom Rinpoche – to establish the White Tradition of ordained non-celibate Vajrayana practitioners in the West. This tradition is also known as the gö kar chang lo’i dé (gos dKar lCang lo’i sDe) which means simply ‘white skirt / long hair series’.

In the light of Düd’jom Rinpoche’s sublime guidance we firmly believe that the ordained non-celibate tradition which Ngala Nor’dzin Pamo represents, will be of the most profound value in the West. For a peaceful world to exist, children must have the example of parents who are intrinsically non-violent and who approach their vows in terms of admiring and respecting each other as men and women.

Ngala Nor’dzin Pamo is a full-blooded joyously committed mother and marital partner who gloriously appreciates her husband and is gloriously appreciated by him. What better example could their children have – and what better example could their students have.

Ngala Nor’dzin Pamo brings to her book a wealth of experience as an ordained ngakma and as a woman who is utterly acquainted with the day-to-day exigencies of people’s work-a-day lives. Her depth of understanding is an inspiration to all because it is available to all – through the same avenues as she herself followed. We wish her a wide and enthusiastic readership and trust that many will be thus drawn to her teachings and to those of her teaching partner Ngala ’ö-Dzin Tridral. Their students will be richly rewarded.

Aro sPrul sKu – sNgags ’chang Chos dByings rGya mTsho

and

A ye sPrul sKu – mKha’ ’gro bDe chen Rol pa’i Yes shes

A-yé Khandro Tsé-drüp Déchen Lhamo (A ye ‘mKha’ ’gro Tshe grub bDe chen lha mo)

A-yé Khandro Tsé-drüp Déchen Lhamo (A ye ‘mKha’ ’gro Tshe grub bDe chen lha mo)

1 – Awakening

Through the practice of philosophy one might expect to arrive at one’s own conclusions about the nature of being – such investigations and conclusions having been mostly self-referential. Through the practice of the religion of Dharma one discovers that the nature of being has already been understood by one’s teachers, and that it can be discovered for ourselves through the methods of practice they reveal. Hence, to fully engage with Dharma, we eventually have to let go of the limitations of our own view – and leap without reservation, into Dharma-view.

Buddhism is a pragmatic religion. The Nyingma Lama, Chhi’mèd Rig’dzin Rinpoche, was once asked a question concerning the difference between world religions and the answer he gave was unusual both in its humour and simplicity.

He said, Hinduism is the religion of the King. If you want something you go to the King and ask. Christianity is the religion of the Prince. If you want something you go to the Prince rather than directly to the King, but the result is the same. Islam is the religion of the Ambassador. If you want something you go to the Ambassador rather than the King or Prince, but again – the result is the same. Buddhism is the religion of the labourer. If you want something done, you do it yourself.

It was evident at the time that Chhi’mèd Rig’dzin Rinpoche was not really simplistically encapsulating the religions to which he alluded – he was making a pragmatic point for a specific audience. He wanted them to know that he was not their saviour and that they were required to be diligent in respect of the nature of his communications.

Ngak’chang Rinpoche, who told me the story, elaborated on it as follows, The labourer can naturally seek advice. The labourer can depend on guidance. The labourer can even commit to highly specific guidance – but in the end, he or she must carry out the instructions in order to realise the nondual state.

Buddhism is a threefold structure in respect of the Buddha, that which the Buddha communicated, and those to whom the Buddha communicated. The communication aspect of the threefold division of Buddhism is Dharma,¹ and it is eminently practical. It gives precise instructions not only of how to do it ourselves – but how to establish a relationship with a guide with whom we can check our findings. There was never a good labourer who did not have to learn the craft.

Dharma therefore, is rich with multifarious approaches and methods which make it accessible to the widest variety of individuals.

Some people are of the opinion that Dharma is not a religion, but rather a philosophy or ‘a way of approaching life’ – and so it may appear, at the practical, functional level. This however, is fundamentally misleading when becoming involved with the principles and methods of Dharma.

It is important at the outset of our interest in Dharma to define our terms. If we fail to do so we may discover, after some years have elapsed, that we were engaged in religion,² even though it was philosophy or psychology we had initially wanted. We might feel cheated by such a revelation. We might feel we were tricked into adopting alien cultural and religious forms.

Through the practice of philosophy one might expect to arrive at one’s own conclusions about the nature of being – such investigations and conclusions having been mostly self-referential. Through the practice of the religion of Dharma, one discovers that the nature of being has already been understood by one’s teachers, and that it can be discovered for ourselves through the methods of practice they reveal. Hence, to fully engage with Dharma, we eventually have to let go of the limitations of our own view – and leap… without reservation, into Dharma-view.

If we choose a philosophy, we are always bigger than the philosophy. We can adjust its parameters when things become uncomfortable. We can wriggle out of whatever does not conform to our wishes.

A religion however, is always bigger than we are. A religion has a structure and clear parameters which cannot be ignored when they do not suit our convenience. We have to allow ourselves to be subsumed within the more expansive view of a religion. We need to fully embrace it to be fully embraced by it. In return, religion offers us a great support and structure to our lives.

Religions offer moral codes which cannot be compromised for our individual convenience. The religion of a country offers a way of life and an existential flavour to its people. The year revolves around the calendar of the religion, defining times of festival and times of prayer, times of celebration and times of reflection. Important life junctures may be celebrated by the religion, such as moving into adulthood and marriage. Difficult life circumstances such as the death of a loved one occur within the wisdom-scaffolding of religious ritual, in the context of which one is led to incorporate such experience in a wholesome manner.

In some cases and at some times the structure of religion may be experienced as limiting and claustrophobic, causing people—often the young—to reject it. However, the supportive quality of religion may come to be appreciated later in life. In the UK many people who would not count themselves as Christian still structure their lives around the Christian calendar, looking forward to family gatherings at Easter and Christmas. They may also find that they instinctively turn to religion for solace in times of trouble and distress.

Ngak’chang Rinpoche said of this, It is sad that people reject the solace of religion on the basis that solace is a sop. Solace is indeed a sop – but I have yet to meet a human being who does not require a sop at some point in their lives. It is foolish to assume that merely because one has the intellect to define a sop that one would never be benefited by its availability. Every religion contains its supports and its challenges – and most human beings require both.

In 2001, I was invited to teach in Malta with my husband Ngakpa ’ö-Dzin Tridral Dorje. Malta is a primarily a Catholic country. The practice of Catholicism is extremely visible. Many houses have religious icons near their front doors. Public transport buses have shrines on their dashboards.

The churches we visited always had groups of people actively engaged in practice – moving rosary beads with a low humming sound of prayer. We really valued the visibility of Malta’s religious culture – it completely saturated Maltese society. We appreciated the support and structure Catholicism offered the Maltese people. In Malta it is perfectly acceptable to practice your religion openly and devoutly. We were also aware of the problems of prejudice experienced by the Buddhist practitioners who had invited us to teach, but these do not negate the value of Catholicism itself. Where there are people there will be problems. It is human interpretation of religion that creates limitation and prejudice, not the fundamental principle and function of religion itself.

Some people believe that they can extract aspects of religions and adopt their philosophies and practices without embracing any religion as a whole. Once again this places the philosopher in control, in the prime position, governing the scope of the philosophy.

They choose what is to be adopted and what is to be abandoned. A religious practitioner always has the support of other practitioners and the structure of religion, even when they are rebelling against its limitations.

The philosopher is always alone without support, because each philosopher will eclectically extract the aspects of religion that he or she sees as valuable. They may reject some practices as cultural and embrace others as pragmatic.

They also have the option of letting go of aspects that become inconvenient. But only a religious teacher, who is fully immersed and proficient in the methods of a religion, has the capacity to make adjustments to the external manifestations of the religion without distorting the religion in the process.

To understand what is cultural and what is essential in a religion, one has to be fully adept at its practice and view – as Khandro Déchen explained, It takes a Buddha to reinvent or redefine Buddhism. Padmasambhava defined Vajrayana, and unless one has equal qualifications one would be like a five year old child attempting to dismantle and reassemble a television. The result could be somewhat incongruous.

In this context it is not necessary to be Tibetan to practice Nyingma Vajrayana Buddhism.³ The principle and function of Vajrayana goes beyond culture. To be able to view what in Vajrayana is the essence of method, and what is the flavour of Tibetan culture, requires realisation through method.⁴ The perspective such realisation provides can only be offered by the Lama.⁵

Dharma teachers continually emphasise the need to practice. Dharma must be practised. We must engage in the methods it offers in order to arrive even at the initial stages of awakening. ‘Awakening’ is what is offered by Dharma. We are offered the opportunity to awaken from our delusion, from our limited view. To engage with practice requires a degree of belief and acceptance of the view and methods offered.

We cannot experience awakening without having recognised, to whatever degree, that we are asleep. We cannot awaken without engaging in the methodology involved with awakening.

This is not to say that Dharma is the only religion that offers effective and tested methods of awakening. It is simply that this is a book written by a Dharma practitioner, about Dharma, and so will inevitably speak from that perspective. I make no apology for my bias. I love the path of Vajrayana Buddhism, and I wish to offer a glimpse of the opportunities it continually offers me. The experiences to which I refer, and upon which I rely, are a natural expression of my own life and practice rather than an argument in favour of Vajrayana above all other religions.

To accomplish any path requires confidence in the teacher and willingness to immerse oneself in the methods of the teacher. If we wished to become proficient at playing a musical instrument, we would have to engage in years of determined and steadfast practice. Elements of that practice might seem to bear little resemblance to the goal of the practice. Endless repetition of scales or exercises to increase the span and suppleness of fingers might seem to have little to do with the inspirational overtures of the great composers. However, we engage in the practice of scales and exercises because we have confidence in our music teachers. We see that they play their instruments well, and that they have a love of music which is infectious. We understand that they have engaged in the practice of scales and exercises on the path to proficiency in playing their chosen musical instrument – and, what is more, they continue to practice.

A student of Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche who was serving Kyabjé Dilgo Khyentsé Rinpoche as an attendant during his stay, noticed that Kyabjé Dilgo Khyentsé Rinpoche was reading a text. He asked why he was reading it, when he surely knew everything there was to know concerning Dharma. Kyabjé Dilgo Khyentsé Rinpoche replied simply that he loved to read Dharma – it was not a question of learning or not learning.

It may be that we approach different teachers who offer divergent methods before we settle to work closely, and with commitment, with one particular teacher and method. However, once we have gained confidence in the teacher and method, we can progress quickly – if we apply ourselves with enthusiasm and dedication.

Dharma is a path. Dharma consists of methods which enable us to awaken from our delusions and reach the goal of the realisation of chö – as it is. To achieve this goal we engage in practice. Our teachers suggest that these practices will help us reach the goal and after a period of testing the methods and getting to know our teachers, we develop confidence in them. We notice that our teachers are happy, startlingly present, vibrant people.

The method may not always be enjoyable or easy, and it may not always ‘make sense’ in our limited conventional terms of reference – but if our confidence in the teacher and the teachings is well grounded, it can be maintained and we can continue to discover surprising results.

It would be unrealistic to ignore the fact that it can be challenging to enter the pervasive dimension of religion.

In the early stages we may be carried along simply by enthusiasm or fascination. The novelty and exotic outer form of the religion may keep us involved, but something deeper and more grounded needs to be established if we are to continue to remain engaged with practice through times of resistance and self-protectiveness. At such times we tend to generate doubt as a buffer.

I may find myself inexpressibly opened by my initial contact with Dharma – when it is new and interesting, exotic, colourful, and charged with sound and imagery. I have been inspired by the teacher, the teachings, and the cheerful energy of the practitioners around me.

On my first retreat, I may feel that it is impossible to lose the new-found energy and inspiration I have discovered, and I go home fired up to practise at least two hours a day. However, when I get home and start to practise daily on my own, I may find that it is not so easy to maintain the thread of inspiration and enthusiasm. I may even find that I am bored with meditation practice. I may find that I have forgotten the vajra melodies to the liturgical