One Last Song

By P S Foley

Matt's musical career leads him from the clubs on the sunset strip to the divers of Sonoma county. Along the way he and his musical partner become the go to minstrels of the Jewish communities of Marin and Sonoma counties.The book opens with the impending death of his music partner and Matt is forced to confront the spiritual and creative meanin

• Language: English
• Publisher: Whispering Oaks Press
• Release date: Mar 27, 2021
• ISBN: 9780998721835

Book preview

Matt awoke with a start and stared out the window at the desolation unfolding in dawn’s first light. Interstate 5 from San Francisco to Los Angeles on a parched Fourth of July appeared as bleak as the far side of the moon. He sat up to get his bearings. They were close to Kettleman City. Matt had long ago decided that this was the halfway point between the rural paradise of Sonoma County and the artistic wasteland of Orange County, and he had traveled this stretch nearly fifty times. His parents lived in Lake Forest. The long, empty drive never failed to spark feelings of separation and loneliness which he felt as anxiety deep in his solar plexus. He hated this drive, and he hated feeling anxious.

Is this all there is? Matt surprised himself by speaking out loud the words of one of his favorite authors, Aldous Huxley.

What? Wendy asked. Wendy and Matt had been married for four years. It was the second marriage for both, and Wendy’s two children were sleeping in the back seat.

Huxley, Matt explained. At the end of his life. After all his success, he came to a place where he thought he had learned and experienced everything life had to offer. One day he woke and looked out into the world and asked, Is this all there Is Meaning that life is ultimately just a bleak empty highway.

Wendy frowned. An intuitive person, Wendy knew Matt was struggling with the milestone of recently turning sixty. The idea that he had not accomplished what he had wanted in life and that time was slipping away had taken up a good portion of his waking hours these past few weeks. Matt had been complaining that his life had become an endless odyssey of chasing a dollar. He had the steady paycheck of teaching and also several side hustles that swallowed up his now precious time. A violin rental business, counseling young people, music lessons, and an invention called a Bow-right that he sold online. Though he took pride in supporting his family, it all left him exhausted. He had decided that his real purpose for being born, creating and performing music, had been relegated to the back row of his life.

Well, Wendy mused. There’s always Disneyland.

That’s true. If all else fails, go to Disneyland.

When Wendy had proposed the trip to Disneyland with the kids, part of her intention was to help pull Matt out of the funk his most recent birthday had wrought. Matt’s life had over the years evolved from musician to teacher, and though music was still part of his life, his focus now was on teaching. It was his teaching that had inspired Wendy to fall in love with Matt.

Still, Matt had never reached the success he had hoped for with his music and this produced a feeling that he had somehow left something important unfinished. Teaching, especially his classes in values and virtues, had replaced his ambition to be a famous musician but it had not filled the void that many accomplished musicians feel. Those not lucky enough to grab the gold ring of fame often feel that they somehow failed. He had come close to fame a couple of times but always came away feeling he was just twenty feet from stardom, and now at sixty he was torn between the worlds of ego and money and the idea of authentic purpose.

At what point do you leave your dreams behind? Matt asked, then added, When is the moment adulthood squashes your innocence for good?

Remember. Life according to Goofy, Wendy suggested.

Matt smiled. Wendy’s kids had never been to Disneyland and from the first day Matt met them he had promised to take them. He said they would meet Goofy, who would reveal an important secret of the universe.

Yes, Matt replied. Goofy knows. You can learn a lot from Goofy.

Such as? Wendy asked playfully. She knew what he would say but wanted to hear him say it again.

Goofy is the Leonardo di Vinci of the cartoon world. He has no fear of failing. Like Goofy, you must not be afraid to fail even if people will judge you.

And?

And Goofy doesn’t listen to that little voice in his head that says you can’t do it or you’re not good enough. He completely ignores the leveling effect of the majority. He just tries what he loves, whatever it is. What’s important is the trying, and following your bliss. Following your bliss is never easy.

Even if people might say you’re goofy?

Yes. Especially then. You must not be afraid to fail even if people might laugh at you.

That’s good because I love goofy people.

Like me?

Most definitely.

Matt smiled. Wendy had done it again. He had long ago decided that his wife was secretly a magician of the spirit. She had pulled him back from depression a hundred times. Just now she had taken him from the seriousness of Aldous Huxley to the silliness of Goofy in mere moments. It was a change of consciousness that left him feeling that maybe life wasn’t as bleak as Interstate 5. This was one of the things he loved about his wife. She was buoyant. Like a great alchemist, she made any difficult situation in life better.

Should we stop for some coffee? Wendy suggested.

The sign for Kettleman City had appeared and they knew there was a Starbucks with a drive-through.

That would be great.

As they sat in line for their lattes, however, Matt’s anxiety returned with a vengeance. He felt uneasy, as if somewhere in his world something important was amiss. Like he had forgotten to shut off the stove before they left or forgotten to lock the back door. Over his sixty years of life, he had learned to trust irrational feelings. He believed they were divinely inspired to help him make better decisions.

Did we remember to leave food for the cat? Matt asked.

Yes. You filled his bowl last night. Twice. Don’t worry. Leave your troubles on the door knob. We’re going to Disneyland.

That’s when his phone rang. Matt scrambled for the source of the sound and realized he had stored the phone in the door pocket of the Prius. He had intended not to use it on this trip. Matt openly despised cell phones and their encroachment on his consciousness, and he extended this opinion to the classroom. He required his students to leave their phones in a wooden crate next to his desk upon entering. He told his students that their cell phones were the biggest threat to quality thinking on the planet.

The ringing particularly annoyed him this morning, and he wondered who in the hell would be calling before 7 am.

If this is spam, I’m going to be really pissed.

Just don’t let it ruin your day.

Hello, Matt answered.

There was a long pause. Finally, a weak voice croaked, Mattie, it’s me. I’m in trouble, partner. Big trouble.

It was Don.

Matt and Don met in their early twenties. They couldn’t have been more different. Matt was an observant Jew who attended services regularly at the synagogue. Don had been agnostic although he had recently been attending a New Age church. He had chastised Matt for not telling him about God earlier.

Why did you always keep this higher power business to yourself? Don asked.

You thought church was only for sinners, and you didn’t want it crimping your lifestyle.

Don paused. Mattie, I think you’re right. I remember something about that. I didn’t have time for God. I was having way too much fun.

But God wasn’t their only difference. Matt was responsible with money and managed their careers. Don couldn’t balance his