What They Feed On

By J.R. Lappin

Be patient with them, they are always watching and they are always hungry...

Following his wife's untimely demise, jailer Michael Rayburn's nightmarish hallucinations begin to come to life. Only his deep love for his young daughter keeps him tethered to reality.

When Michael meets an inmate with an unexpected

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tarina Anthologies
• Release date: Mar 2, 2021
• ISBN: 9781649230157

Book preview

1

The Sea of Nothingness

The illuminating sunbeam was glistening through the icy windows. The light was draped beautifully over the casket surrounded by purple flowers. A plaque with Kathy engraved on it was in the center. There was also a ladybug etched in the plaque; it was her favorite creature. For such a terrible loss, the setting was still beautiful.

Unfortunately, the fact remained: under the beautiful casket, there laid a cold, blistering body, dead. Michael was dressed in a decorated military uniform as he stood in front of the coffin with trembling hands. His pale green eyes were glossed and held a reflection of the casket in them.

Memories of Kathy danced in his mind. He opened his mouth and sighed. A whisper trembled from his lips, How could I? His arms were stiff as boards, and his skin was just as pale as Kathy’s dead body. He swayed back and forth as the little amount of strength he had left faded. He raised a hand and lightly placed it on the casket, his eyes set on the gold band wrapped around his finger.

He shifted his focus from the ring to the ceiling of the church, wondering if she would send him a sign from heaven. No signs came. His lightly placed hand became a tightened fist. He leaned in toward the casket and demanded that Kathy give him a sign. Still, no signs were given. His lips curled while his eyebrows lowered. In anger, he whispered these words to his dead wife, How am I supposed to raise our daughter without you?

A tear leaked from his eye. He remembered what the pastor told him before he went to see her. Though the vessel is gone, the spirit lives on. Michael was skeptical toward the pastor. He hadn’t seen any proof that those words were true, but Michael still wanted to believe there was something after death. Especially after he had seen so many people die.

He whispered, Please… Then slightly raised his voice, …say something. He couldn’t control it anymore. He demanded, Give me some sign! A few of the grieving relatives gathered in the pews had turned toward him. Uncaring, he looked back at the crowd. Their eyes drifted away from his.

His wedding ring grew heavier and felt like a burden to carry. It had for some time. His blood boiled at the thought that there were not any witnesses to the murder. His emotions were clashing against one another as he continued to sway in front of the coffin. His anger was not only geared towards the killer but also toward himself. He felt a throbbing pain in his chest as he thought of all the wrongful things he’d done to her.

Among the few family members remaining in the church, there sat a little girl in a pew. She bore a strong resemblance to Kathy, except for her pale green eyes. Many who knew the girl would say the pale green eyes were the only thing she had gotten from her dad.

It was hard for the dad and her to get along. His work always caused him to leave as soon as they started to reconnect. Michael turned from the casket and tried to fix his posture. He walked toward the girl.

As Michael stood in front of her, she started to cry, staring at the floor. He put his hand on her shoulder, and without a moment’s hesitation, she got up and wrapped her arms around him. Tears poured from her eyes. She slowly loosened her grip from around his waist and gradually tilted her head back, looking up at him. Then she asked him a question he never wanted to hear again, Where were you, dad?

Guilt covered him like a heavy wool blanket embedded with thorns. Disappointment was written all over the young girl’s face. He pulled her back into his arms and did not answer the question because there was no acceptable answer. He softly rubbed her back as she reluctantly fell into his embrace. He tried to conjure some words to help her get through this awful situation. Again, there were no words he could think of that would do the trick. He could only tell her what he then knew to be true, I'm here to stay, Sabrina.

Something dark and mischievous was lurking outside the church—a decrepit creature in the form of a shadow.

It lifted its long nails and started to tap on the church windows as it leaned slowly back and forth with impatience. Michael heard the tapping and looked over at the window but could not see the thing staring back at him. It didn’t want him to see it. It wanted him to come outside.

As time went by, relatives and acquaintances slowly dispersed. Each came up to Michael and gave their condolences. They stated they were sorry for his loss and told Sabrina, Don’t give up, and Your mother will be watching over you… always. Soon, the only ones who remained were the Priest, Pallbearers, Gary and Adriana, the in-laws, Sabrina, and Michael.

Gary attempted a little smile as he slowly stepped toward Sabrina and Michael. Gary was accompanied by his wife, Adriana, who held him tightly by the arm. Adriana shifted her eyes toward Sabrina. How are you holding up there, beautiful girl?

Sabrina looked at her father from the corner of her eye, then moved close to hug her grandmother. Adriana’s face had dry tear streaks down her cheeks. Let’s go give your mother one last ‘see you later’ shall we? Sabrina nodded, and they went toward the coffin.

Gary stood by awkwardly, looking around the room. He seemed uncomfortable, and he started to make small talk with Michael.

So… Michael, uhm… how does it feel to be back in the states?

Michael humored Garry and started to converse with him to break the dreadful silence. Well, I'd like to say that it's nice to be back where death isn't a part of my everyday life… Michael felt shitty talking glum, but the next words had to come out, …but, I guess there’s no escaping it. He looked down at the floor, not sure what his next move would be.

Don’t be so hasty, Gary replied. We all meet again someday. Gary gave a reassuring nod. Michael was not sure if Gary was trying to convince him to believe or to reassure himself. Either way, the words were meaningless to Michael. Michael’s eyes were still downcast, staring at the floor.

Gary patted Michael’s shoulder, and Michael heard Gary’s footsteps as he walked away. The footsteps faded until there was a deafening silence. Something was off. Michael raised his eyes from the ground. Gary was gone. Michael whipped his head around as he looked for him. No one was in the building! Suddenly, fear coursed through Michael, adrenaline pumped through his veins the same way they did in Afghanistan when he sensed trouble was nearby. Goosebumps crawled across his skin until he was engulfed in them.

He quickly reacted to the situation and bolted through the church doors. Something got in his way and pushed him to the floor. A black shadow stood in front of him. Its head was hunched over as the figure was taller than the building. It started to wail and pointed toward a well outside of the church.

Michael backed away from the creature, but he was suddenly tugged toward it with an invisible rope that was wrapped all around Michael’s body. Michael dug his heels into the ground in an attempt to resist being pulled to the well. His efforts were futile. His body felt like strings had suddenly been attached to it. He became a puppet of the creature, and it moved him toward the well against his will. The creature jerked Michael’s face into the water. Michael closed his eyes and began to panic, thinking he would drown.

Michael thrashed wildly in the water in an attempt to buck his head out and get a gasp of air. Michael kicked and flailed his arms, but it was to no avail as his attempts to bring his head above the water were unsuccessful. Michael stopped his struggle and opened his eyes. He could breathe normally while under the water. He could see clearer than usual in the water as well. Suddenly, Michael felt a sharp stabbing pain run down his spine that paralyzed him. He spit up blood into the water. The blood surrounded him, and he could see an image within it. The images started to become clearer, and eventually he could hear speaking as well.

He made out the images of his own memory. He saw a younger version of himself being hugged by his wife and daughter. A thousand men couldn’t tear them from the grip they held one another in.

Then the image changed, and he saw a vision of himself being let go by these same loved ones. The younger version of himself grabbed a military duffel bag laid next to him. He walked toward a large plane filled with brothers and sisters dressed alike in the same military uniform as his. Michael felt empty inside as his blood continued to pour out into the water while he observed the memory. The scene faded from a bright blue sky in a summer’s heat to a deep black abyss.

Michael could not see anything, just darkness. Suddenly, a whisper echoed in the silent black. It was his daughter's voice, Sabrina, talking to Kathy. Will we ever see dad again? The disfigured shadow creature appeared in the water and slowly turned to look at Michael with two torn out eyes. Michael’s heart was racing.

What is going on?

It sounded as if the devil himself answered Sabrina’s question in a bellowing tone. We all will be together again someday. The creature disappeared, and a flashing red light blinked where it had once stood.

Michael closed his eyes tightly and tried to convince himself that he was in a nightmare and needed to wake up. He opened his eyes. He was still in darkness with a blinking red light, but now he was standing on a solid floor. The only thing he could see in the dark was the flashing red light.

He took a slow pace toward it. Flashing lights with cracking bursts of flesh tearing shrapnel started to flash all around him spontaneously. Blood-curdling screams of pain from both men and women tore his eardrums. Pieces of his skin started to flake off. Michael clasped his hands over his ears, but a high-pitched noise made him curl into the fetal position. Michael opened his mouth and let out a yell for help, but his vocal cords were cut.

A final thought came to his brain before he started to go into shock. He closed his eyes tightly and thought, I’m sorry. He then opened them and found himself in a room. He was lying on a bed drenched in sweat. The ceiling fan had one light on it that was flickering above his head. He heard Sabrina calling from him in the kitchen, Come on, old man! Time to get your butt out of bed and take me to meet the teachers!

Michael knew that he was dreaming. However, he remembered living that day at the funeral. He never set foot in a church from then on out.

2

The Warning

Michael couldn’t believe it. A whole year had gone by since the funeral. He muttered, A whole year since… Michael’s alarm clock started to go off. He rolled out of bed after taking a moment to clear the cobwebs of sleep from his mind. It was Sunday morning, and the clock displayed 10 AM.

Sabrina popped her head into his room. Are you gonna wake up or what?

Michael grabbed hold of one of the bed pillows and playfully tossed it at her. He then rolled back under the sheets. Pushing his face up against the other pillow, he grunted, We don't gotta see your teachers until eight, kiddo.

Sabrina had a hand on her hip and started to taunt her dad, Yeah, but you need to have enough time to get ready old man!

Typically, Michael was the early bird among the two of them, while Sabrina would sleep-in until noon, given a chance. You're telling me I need enough time to get ready? Michael closed his eyes and thought of all the times he had to wake up Sabrina at least an hour early to get her to school on time.

She would always change three to four times before she was ready to leave the house. Sabrina must have read his mind. She taunted him. I woke you up early because you take forever to get dressed and ready, sassed the little diva.

Accepting the challenge, Michael slid out of bed half-dressed, picked up a pair of faded jeans and a shirt from the floor then put them on. He walked to the restroom, washed his face, and started to brush his teeth. He looked in the mirror and noticed the lines on his forehead were more distinct than before. His dark curly hair had a fade cut on the sides. The bags under his eyes told him that he needed a good night’s rest.

Michael was ready to go in two minutes. Sabrina’s only response was that he took forever. She proceeded to pick up the pillow from the floor and crawled onto Michael’s bed. Michael was confused, What are you doing?

She yawned. Going to sleep. Like you said, we don’t have to be there until 8 AM.

Michael wanted to throw the covers off her and tell her that they were going to stay up. However, his eyelids were heavy, and quality sleep seemed like the better option. He laid on the other side of the bed.

Hey, dad?

Yeah?

You are my Grizzly.

Sabrina’s mother always called Michael grizzly because he would have a temper when someone woke him from his slumber. This was the first time he’d heard Sabrina use that word since Kathy’s death. Michael repeated what his wife used to say to Sabrina. You’re my Baby Bear, my BB.

She put her head down and closed her eyes. Michael set the alarm clock. Can we go to the beach? she asked. As soon as Michael was about to answer, she said, It would just be nice to have a natural breeze in a dry heat and cool water instead of sitting under fans all day in the sticky air.

Just thinking about the humidity in Louisiana made Michael sweat. Well, what beach did you have in mind? Getting no response, Michael assumed she either had no clue or had already fallen asleep. Either way. He was ready to get at least one decent hour of sleep himself before making first impressions. The sound of the ceiling fan rotating soothed Michael as he drifted from reality into a deep slumber.

Michael expected another dream as he drifted off to sleep, and he was right. He found himself alone in an orange and yellow forest with sunlight dancing through the leaves. A breeze bristled through his hair. A child’s laughter echoed in the distance. Michael walked toward it until he ended up on a small hill at the edge of the woods.

Sabrina was practicing her tree climbing in front of a well-constructed log cabin that looked like it could hold five people comfortably. He saw Kathy sitting on the railing of the long elegant porch. Lady bugs flew around her. She was swinging her feet back and forth as they dangled while writing a letter. Kathy looked up at Michael with her hazel eyes. For a moment, Michael believed he was in a dream and not a nightmare.

He was prepared to keep himself locked in this moment as long as possible. Then, Kathy shifted her eyes beyond Michael. She dropped the pen and paper and started to shiver as her eyes became wider. Her face was frozen in horror, looking at something behind Michael. He looked back for a moment but only saw the forest behind him. The only thing he noticed was the sunlight had become dim, and the breeze had stopped. He turned back around, and Kathy was an inch in front of his face with her eyes clawed out and her mouth sewn shut.

She raised an arm with a pointed finger, directing his attention to Sabrina, who was being carried off by the disfigured black shadow.

3

Pit Stop

A loud obnoxious ringing noise filled the room as the vibrating alarm clock woke Michael up. Michael let out a sigh of relief. For a moment, the dream felt real. Michael convinced himself that it was just that, a dream.

He slammed his hand on the alarm clock, quickly shutting it off. He saw there was still time to kill and he had a hunch he should get Sabrina out of the house before going to the teacher conference. Sabrina stretched her arms out with a yawn that filled the room. She looked toward her dad. I’m hungry. With that said, an idea popped into Michael’s head.

C’mon then, I’ll treat ya to some food that isn’t my cooking, he replied.

Sabrina bounced in excitement. They headed to a truck sitting in the driveway. Michael jingled the old red Ford’s keys in his hand. The humid heat beat down on them as they breathed in the moist air. The two hopped into the truck, known as the Ol’ Biddy. Michael had owned the truck for roughly 18 years, and it still ran well, despite all of its little faults. It reeked of an overbearing pine saw scent from an incident that happened a couple of months back. Michael loved the truck and even recently bought a reinforced bed cover so he could store items in the back without them being stolen.

As Michael grabbed the passenger side door handle, he observed the quaint neighborhood. A sudden static noise pierced into his eardrums. It sounded as if an unsharpened knife was scraping up and down a chalkboard rapidly. Michael let out a painful whimper and tried to fight off the noise in his head.

He couldn’t help but cover one ear with a hand and lean on the truck to stabilize himself. The noise was excruciating.

Suddenly, the sound died out as quickly as it came. Sabrina was already in the car, looking out the passenger window. She didn’t notice what had happened, but Michael was concerned. Not for himself, but for Sabrina. Michael plastered a calm, collected mask on his face and pretended that nothing had happened.

Still, he wondered… How long could he pretend everything was okay before things escalated to the point of no return?

Michael stepped into the vehicle, put the key in the ignition, and they were off. He rolled down the windows since the A/C was broken in the car. He tried to lighten the mood for himself. Can't beat that fresh air! he exclaimed.

Sabrina’s arms were crossed and placed on the open window with her head resting on top. She seemed disinterested. Gazing out the window, she looked as if her mind was elsewhere. Michael had a hard time with silence, so he continued to conversate with himself. The Ol' Gal doesn’t have luxuries, but she’ll get ya from A to B. Besides, the drive is short anyhow. With that said, they set off to grab a bite before visiting the school.

They drove two miles before getting stuck at a red light next to a gas station and liquor store. Michael was through talking to himself. He turned on the radio and switched it to the oldies station. Hank Williams' voice yodeled in the background. "Can you truthfully saaayyy with your dying breath..." Sabrina finally spoke. Since when ya listen to old people music?

Michael replied, slightly shocked, Are you kidding me? You can't tell me your mama never introduced you to Hank Williams?

Sabrina paused for a moment as Hanks' voice rolled on and filled the void, singing, "That you're ready to meeeettt the angel of death?"

It sounds depressing, she said.

That’s because he’s singing the blues BB, Michael sighed in disappointment.

I’m just saying. You used to play upbeat music, like the fast guitar people and music that made the car shake, she said.

I listen to basically anything and ever… Something in Michael’s view stopped him mid-sentence.

A tan woman wearing high