AfterLIFE: Waking Up from My American Dream

By Carlo Pietro Sanfilippo

If you are ready to take your life in a different direction, AfterLIFE will inspire you to realize you can do it. No matter what kind of life you are trying to create, AfterLIFE: Waking Up from My American Dream tells a real-life story about stepping into your true self. It empowers the reader to live with purpose and

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stonebrook Publishing
• Release date: Jan 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9781735802152

Carlo Pietro Sanfilippo

Carlo Pietro Sanfilippo spent the last 25 years working as a financial planner. Like many professionals, he was convinced that the pursuit of the American Dream was the answer to the purpose of life. Feeling unfulfilled he grappled with the weight of unhappiness until life's events forced him to make changes. Carlo set out on a journey of introspection and self-discovery that immediately led to personal, emotional, and spiritual growth. He emerged with a happier life and a story to share with those seeking to live out loud and with purpose but don't know how to begin. Carlo is a Saint Louis native and a father of two sons. He has a passion for travel, language, art, culture, and history, and he's perpetually learning about these topics through books and experience. When he can't be in Italy among the olive trees, art, or ruins, he's transported there through the study of history. You can read more about Carlo and his upbeat Podcast called It's the Journey by visiting his website at https://carloblog.com.

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Praise for AfterLIFE

"I’ve had the good fortune to be Carlo’s friend and fan for several years. In AfterLIFE he shares his incredible journey to finding more of what his life’s purpose is all about. His honest vulnerability and hard-but-beautiful-lessons learned will serve open-minded readers well. Like any good improviser, writer, or human, Carlo shares his story to help others. I always leave a conversation with Carlo feeling lucky, and I feel even luckier to have his wisdom in print to turn to anytime I need a quick injection of it."

~ KEVIN MCKERNAN, FOUNDER, THE IMPROV SHOP

Carlo has tapped into the very deep questions we all face on a daily basis but always seem to set aside to be pondered some day in the future. In sharing his own experiences, he offers a new way, a new life—if we are willing to listen to the whispers in the wind. But his message is not just about hearing those whispers but also stepping off the cliff of our comfortable lives and having the courage it will take. I strongly recommend this book to anyone searching for a life of true meaning. You will not be disappointed.

~ JACK DAVIS, ENTREPRENEUR

"Carlo’s epiphany and life transformation shines a light for us all. If you are low in joy and high in frustration or stress, you are not living your ideal life. Reading AfterLIFE will provide insight and maybe even a compass-like direction that leads to living a fulfilling life."

~ DAN DAVIS, CFP®

PRESIDENT & CO-FOUNDER, ADK WEALTH ADVISORY GROUP

"AfterLIFE starts off feeling like a simple and sweet read, and by the time you finish this book, you’ll realize Carlo’s journey has changed you. I laughed out loud several times, but more importantly, I found myself on a personal journey into my inner being where I reflected on Carlo’s words and was transformed and changed by them."

~ ALI TATARYN, ARTIST, COACH, FACILITATOR

Anyone going through times of question, reflection, and yearning for growth should pick up Carlo’s book. His accounts of his own ‘becoming’ are shared with exuberance and truth and are relatable. His struggles and victories inspire the reader to look within and discover their own areas calling for attention and growth.

~ JILL DUNCAN, FARMHER AT LOVING ROOTS URBAN FARM AND BODYWORKER AT WELLNESS BY JILL

Love, empathy, and forgiveness are gifts so readily given to others, yet these same gifts are met with extraordinary resistance when reserved for ourselves. The thought of self-affirming change can be a mental hurdle so towering that we refuse to even try. This book is a testament to trusting your own heart, and undeniable proof that love for yourself" is truly love’s high-water mark. Carlo illustrates how he found his path back to an authentic life in a way that is both relatable and profound. True to his character, Carlo communicates important lessons he learned with brevity, kindness, and plainspoken sincerity.

Think of this book as a traveler’s guide for your own journey. A roadmap that you can use to glean principles to defeat the bullies of fear and self-doubt when they block your trail. There is no blueprint for a happy life, but I believe success leaves clues. That’s what Carlo offers in this book—clues. Those clues come in the form of the author’s honest vulnerability, oak-like integrity, and an unflinching willingness to risk with confidence. Gather up the clues you find useful and apply them to your own life and maybe you, too, can wake up from your American dream."

~ RAFE WILLIAMS, MEDIA MAGNATE AND COMEDY GURU

Carlo Sanfilippo understands that the practice of vulnerability is equal parts challenging and liberating. It’s not an easy thing to commit to sincere individuality in a career field or culture where everyone is expected to conform. But Carlo leads by example and shares his life’s tips in this affirming and inspirational story. He’s not trying to be a hero or modern ‘influencer,’ but writes genuinely and gracefully. He encourages all of us, regardless of experience, age, income or number of degrees, to say yes to the things that inspire us, for indeed, it is those moments of ‘yes’ that can improve our lives forever. As a professional artist, I appreciate Carlo’s encouragement to follow our instincts and the consistent push toward exploration as a never-ending, daily journey.

~ CHELSEA RITTER-SORONEN, ARTIST

"The journey of unbecoming of who we thought we should be to become who we want to be, it is universal and relevant. Carlo’s enthusiasm and curiosity and his witty writing will awaken your creativity and open the windows to your heart.

Danke Danke Danke!"

~ ELLI RICHTER, INTEGRATIVE SUBCONSCIOUS COACH

Carlo Pietro Sanfilippo

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Waking Up from

My American Dream

Stonebrook Publishing

Saint Louis, Missouri

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A STONEBROOK PUBLISHING BOOK

©2021 Carlo Pietro Sanfilippo

This book was guided in development and

edited by Nancy L. Erickson, The Book Professor®

TheBookProfessor.com

All rights reserved. Published in the United States

by Stonebrook Publishing, a division of

Stonebrook Enterprises, LLC, Saint Louis, Missouri.

No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any

printed or electronic form without written permission from the author.

Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted

materials in violation of the author’s rights.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020921835

ISBN: 978-1-7358021-5-2

www.stonebrookpublishing.net

Dedication

This book is for my sons,

who’ve come with me on this journey

with love and patience.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter One: Trust Yourself

Chapter Two: Expand Trust And Love To Others

Chapter Three: Rippling Changes

Chapter Four: Yes And

Chapter Five: Follow The Fun

Chapter Six: Holding Up The Mirror

Chapter Seven: Getting Pulled Into A Bigger World

Chapter Eight: Peeling Off The Layers

Chapter Nine: Retooling My Profession

Chapter Ten: Building A Tribe

Chapter Eleven: _________ Is Not My Therapy

Chapter Twelve: I Said To Myself . . .

Chapter Thirteen: Waking Up From The American Dream

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

About The Author

AfterLIFE Introduction

We must be willing to let go of the life

we planned so as to have the life

that is waiting for us.

~ JOSEPH CAMPBELL

HERE WE ARE. You and I. Millions of thoughts, decisions, and actions have brought me to the point of sharing my story with you, just as you’ve experienced many thoughts, decision, and actions before arriving here with this book in your hands.

My story is about leaving behind a prescribed lifestyle and learning to trust myself, to love myself, and to listen to that voice that had whispered my dreams to me for so long. Dreams that felt like a forever away, some day, always on the horizon, never getting any closer. Then in a blink of an eye, my world was shaken in a way I could never have imagined. Nearly a decade has passed since then, and I still feel that magnificent impact.

This is a book about transition and becoming, about learning to live intentionally, about living out loud and on purpose. It’s about learning to live the life you want.

Far too many of us are on autopilot. At least I was for forty years, and it took immense pain for me to wake me up and change my focus. I’d worked hard and strived for all those years, but I wasn’t chasing after or living my own dream. I was in a constant battle against myself, doing the things I thought were required of me, the things I thought I must. I was living according to a blueprint that had been handed to me and one that I accepted, but not one that I designed. I was constantly compromising and living a half-life—the life I thought I was supposed to live.

Ten years ago, I was living what many call the American Dream. I was married and living in a lovely home in a Norman Rockwellish-neighborhood. I had the things I thought I was supposed to have: a house, a mortgage, a couple of cars, two kids. All the things, all the stuff, and all the jobs and payments that go along with it. I was busy, busy, busy earning a living but not living my life. Earning money and then sending it off in bits and pieces to everyone else. When I wasn’t earning money, I spent my time taking care of all the things we had or making plans to accumulate still more things. In between, I tried to be the best dad I could be.

Then life changed in an instant. Within four years I lost my mom, my stepfather, my dad, my marriage, and the whole way of life I’d spent my twenties and thirties building.

That unimaginable pain broke me down until I stopped fighting myself because, as you’ll see, I was the one who’d held myself back. I was my harshest critic, my own worst enemy. Even though I’d found a million reasons to blame other people for my life, it had always been me doing it to myself: me hushing my own dreams, me holding myself back, me doubting my ideas, and me keeping me from the life I wanted. Once I learned to listen to and follow those whispers, my life began to change.

As I moved forward, I stumbled upon many tools and people who helped me along the way. The things I learned and the changes I made weren’t the result of any single event or from reading a specific book, and they certainly weren’t due to anyone else. I simply attracted and built a world based on what was inside of me.

But before I got there, the tempest nearly broke me. My suffering eventually forced me let go. I finally stopped struggling. As I stepped onto a new path, I found plenty of people whose love, words, and actions helped me move forward.

Now I want to share these lessons with you—and anyone—who feels the whisper of longing to live a different way. To follow your dream. To follow a path where you progressively realize your dreams and ideals. I will share the things that lit me up, in hopes of lighting the way for you.

Sound good? Then come with me and maybe, just maybe, bits and pieces of my story will inspire you to trust and love yourself enough to say yes to that whisper. To say yes to your dreams, so you can build the life you want one step at a time.

It’s not easy, but it is simple.

Chapter One

Trust Yourself

As soon as you trust yourself,

you will know how to live.

~ JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE

AS I MADE MY WAY through the winter of my life—the time when my parents died and I got divorced—I hired a life coach. An amazing person. Her name is Elli. I’d never done anything like that before, but I was having trouble finding my direction, and I needed help. I didn’t realize that I was struggling so much because my options were now wide open, when they’d always felt ordered and prescribed. I wanted this coach to give me an action plan, but I came out of it with something else altogether.

Everything in my upbringing had either quietly or overtly reinforced that I had problems to solve, and the solutions involved pleasing others. There was so much pressure to be, have, and do certain things by a prescribed age. There was so much stuff I thought I had to own to show my family, friends, and the world that I mattered, that I was doing it—whatever it was—and that I was smart and good.

I’d always been good at figuring out a plan for myself if I knew what outcome I wanted. Growing up, my plan was to get through school. Then it was to figure out college. Then it was marriage and everything that came after that.

When I was only twenty-four, I was married and had a son, and after that all kinds of structures were laid out for me: get a house, start a career, make money, send money to all the bill collectors, be a dad, buy more things,