252 The Great College Football Quest: Volume One: Games 1 through 63

By The Man in the Suit

ONE MAN ONE QUEST TWO HUNDRED & FIFTY-TWO TEAMS LOTS OF SUITS!

Do you like college footballl? Awesome, I do too! That’s why, back in the summer of 2013, I decided to begin a road trip to see every single college football team at the FBS and FCS Level. 252 teams baby! And 252 colleges, towns, stadiums, atmospheres, experien

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Riley Butler
• Release date: Feb 19, 2019
• ISBN: 9781681029085

The Man in the Suit

The Man in the Suit was born in Arizona in the early 1980s. An avid "sports head," MITS always had a fascination with college sports, particularly college football. Growing up, his mother enthusiastically tried to convince her little boy to use his love of sports in his future profession and become a sports writer and broadcaster. Hey, two out of three ain't bad! This is his first book in the four volume series of 252: The Great College Football Quest. He lives in Illinois.

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Introduction

SINCE I’M FAIRLY confident I know what the majority of you are wondering, I’ll address it first.

Yes, Gal Gadot is the best thing to come out of Israel since the Cherry Tomato.

Second, and of much less importance, is WHY? Why did I decide to start a quest to see every single FBS and FCS College Football Team? Why did I do it, and why am I continuing to do it?

The short answer is also the simplest, and it is the same answer that my human physical, emotional, and spiritual development teacher, an absolutely brilliant and thought-provoking man, told a sophomoric punk who had the bad taste to immaturely ask him why dogs lick their balls.

Very simple Luther, this wonderfully patient and considerate man replied. Because they can.

Why does Lebron James continue to throw down rim-shaking dunks? Why does John Grisham continue to write page-turning novels? Why does Apple continue to develop innovation-redefining products? Simply put, because they can.

When I started my Odyssey in late summer 2013, I had the money, and a kick-ass car, to do it. The problem was, I had no idea what It was supposed to be. I lacked direction and inspiration. I knew I needed to get back on the road, but I had no clue where I was going. I had just gotten back stateside after spending a year in Korea and was living in Colorado. I was thirty years old, and I should have been feeling great, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t because I felt like my life had become stagnant, predictable, mundane, and even a little, dare I say, boring. I still got my kicks out of life and let my hair down on the weekends, but over the last several years, the majority of my friends and family had begun to get married, have children, and settle down. I was still my typical free-spirited self with absolutely nothing to tie me down or hold me back.

I didn’t have a family of my own, nor did I want one, and I really liked the idea of being my own man with my own agenda. However, I thought it was a little silly, and maybe even a tad pathetic, that I was pretty much the exact same person living the exact same life that I had twelve years earlier when I’d left home and staked my claim. This was not to say that the last twelve years had been a bust though. Far from it! I’d graduated high school and college, traveled the world, explored America, enlisted in the Army, gone to war, made it back, fallen in love a few times, gotten my heart broken a few more times, acquired my MBA, survived ROTC and LDAC, and earned a commission.

Along the way I’d always remembered to do my best, pay my taxes, say my prayers, write my Thank You Cards, and come home for every single Christmas except two; stupid Iraq and Korea! I’d seized the day, lived for the moment, and sucked the marrow out of life without choking on the bone. I knew it too, and I was damn proud of my accomplishments. Still, I couldn’t shake these feelings of insignificance. I knew I was still way too damn young to have a mid-life crisis, but I was in a funk. It felt like all of my adventures, and I’d had more than my share, were all coming to a close.

That’s when my muse finally showed up and reminded me of my inspirational Charlemagne: Give someone something to live for, but if you can’t do that, give them something to accomplish, but if you can’t do that, then just give them something to do. I was hanging up my wall of achievements in my new apartment (basically all of my degrees, certificates, and anything else in a frame that I’m generally proud of) when I saw it. Actually, I’d spent eight years looking at it, but it was like I was noticing it for the first time. My pin-covered Home Plate.

When I graduated from college, I received all sorts of presents from family and friends, but as always, my best gift came from my mom. She knew that prior to my enlistment date, I was going to have a great adventure over the summer. After rigorous debate between Europe and baseball, I acted like an American and choose the latter. I decided to spend the summer of ’05 going to every single baseball stadium and seeing the home team in action. Her gift to me was a home plate and a copy of The Ultimate Baseball Road Trip by Josh Pahigian and Kevin O’Connell. At every stadium I visited, including a few minor league venues, I purchase a lapel pin as my souvenir. The pins would eventually find their way into the plate, where they remain to this day; a reminder of the experiences I had. The book was my road map, restaurant guide, historical marker, advice giver, and Bible.

As I stared at my plate it hit me. I needed another sports quest, but what sport to follow? Baseball had been done to death, and I couldn’t get months off from my job to visit every single professional sports team in their respective cities. Southern Arizona, where I grew up, is basketball country, but basketball is a winter sport, and many parts of America are hard to visit and drive through when there’s a bunch of snow on the ground. I wanted to travel in either summer or fall, and this narrowed my choices down even further. Since football is one of the most popular sports in America, I settled on it, and going to college football games meant that I could travel less, see more, and stretch out this quest into several years, maybe even decades. I also decided to include the FCS teams because no one ever talks about them, and it would have been unfair to only include big brother on this journey. Furthermore, there are many states that don’t even have any division 1-A teams. They have to make do with the football they’ve got, they do a damn fine job, and I’m not missing the Colonial Clash, Granite Bowl, Dakota Marker, or Brawl of the Wild (Coolest Rivalry Name EVER by the way) for anything.

At the beginning of Season One there was a total of 252 1-A and AA teams, so two fifty-two became my benchmark. I realize a lot has happened to college football over the last five years; teams have moved to different conferences, moved up or down from FCS to FBS and vice versa, old rivalries have ended, new rivalries have started, and teams not included in my original count are part of my itinerary now. However, I’m sticking with 252. It just has such a nice ring to it. Two fifty-two. Rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it? Besides, I don’t have any intention of excluding teams from this thing, so in the event that a team is visited after the 252 mark, that team will become 252 plus 1, 2, 3…infinity.

Finally, as my own personal disclaimer, I did my absolute best to report on what I saw and experienced. But, you can’t write over 252 articles about over 252 separate football teams and not expect to make a few mistakes here and there. That said, if there are errors in this body of work, I apologize for them and promise you that they are not intentional. I tried not to play favorites but follow the Eight Rules that I outlined for myself at the start of this Odyssey

Rule 1: Always wear a suit.

Rule 2: Always purchase and wear a lapel pin, if pins are available, of the team you are visiting.

Rule 3: You don’t necessarily have to root for, but you absolutely CAN NOT root against, the team you’re visiting.

That’s great and applicable news for you ScumDevil (Arizona State) Fans!

Rule 4: Always try to have a good time regardless of where you are. Attend each game with an open mind and an open heart.

Rule 5: Under no circumstances can you say anything demeaning or degrading about the team you’re visiting. If a team plays, is playing, or has been playing poorly, that can be reported on, but never say anything purposefully disgraceful. Facts, not feelings.

Once again, see Arizona State

Rule 6: Just like some games you’ll see, some of these articles are going to be bad. Accept it, move on, and do better the next time.

Rule 7: It is going to take you a while to see all two hundred and fifty-two games. Pace yourself, but prepare wisely.

Rule 8: …

On second thought, I’m going to keep Rule Eight to myself for the time being.

As for Why am I continuing to do this, well I forgot to mention in my Why Does examples that the other thing they all have in common besides They Can is because they enjoy what they do, and since They Want To, that’s what makes them great at it. The quest has been hard. It has been long. It has been challenging, and several times I’ve wondered if I’ve just been chasing my tail. I keep doing it because I have loved every single second that I’ve gotten to spend on this journey. All the fans, atmospheres, teams, and experiences—I’ve enjoyed every single one of them. I feel truly blessed that I’ve got one hundred and eighty-nine, plus a few, more teams to go.

LONG LIVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL!

The Man in the Suit

P.S. To Kevin and Josh. Your guide to Major League Baseball is one of the best books I’ve ever read. You two were the inspiration behind this. Thank you so very much from the very bottom of my heart.

Into the Wild Blue Yonder!

Air Force vs. Colgate

31 August 2013

W 38 to 13

IT BEGINS. MY objective is 252 stadiums, 252 games of college football bliss, 252 teams at the NCAA FBS and FCS Division. 252 bands, cheer squads, mascots, and fan bases. 252 towns, cities, villages, farms, and suburbs. 252 destinations. At a rate of ten games per year, it will take me just over twenty-five years to reach my goal. 252 reasons to love college football more than I already do. Two fifty-two, and today, it all starts here.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

—Lao Tzu

Stop 1 of 252 finds me staring at the vision of former president Dwight D. Eisenhower; the Air Force Academy in beautiful Colorado Springs, Colorado. The stadium is quite an impressive structure. Cut into the foothills of the Colorado Rockies, it provides some spectacular back drops. To the west are picturesque mountains, and to the east, endless prairie for as far as the eye can see. Either way, the current location is 6,000 feet above sea level. I wonder if this will have an impact on the visiting school from Hamilton, New York.

I park my car in the fields surrounding Falcon Stadium and quickly say a prayer of thanks for the free parking and two dollar ticket. I have a powerful feeling that this will NOT be the norm for the majority of teams that I visit. As I peruse the tailgating scene, footballs wiz by my head and fans eagerly await the first game of the year and the hopeful promise of a great season. It just so happens that today is Family Day and hundreds of cadets walk hand in hand with their parents and siblings. It’s a little upsetting that they are not allowed to sit with their family during the game, but are forced to congregate in the Cadet Section. Perhaps in the coming years, this rule can be rectified.

Still, the best thing about the Air Force has to be the tradition. As I walk through the lots, tents proudly display the titles of the tailgating participants; class of 1964, class of 1977, and class of 1998. It’s funny how the class of ’77 will give the Young Ins of ’98 a hard time only to have the class of ’64 return the favor to them in kind. Deep down though, it’s all in good fun, and an underlying theme shines as bright as the sun. Once an Airman, Always an Airman!

Before kickoff, the entire student body proudly stands on the field for the National Anthem and the Air Force Song before racing to their seats. Upperclassmen make up vendettas by tackling fellow cadets, classmates, and friends who tackled them last year. Soon, one of the coolest celebrations in college football commences as, high above, the members of the Air Force Academy Parachute Team, Wings of Blue, jump from their aircraft and float toward the stadium below. As they touch down across the field, the crowd roars with approval!

Minutes later, it’s kickoff time and my college football quest officially begins. As I mentioned earlier, the high altitude has a distinct impact on the game, and nearly every single kickoff sails into the back of the end zone. Still, you get the good with the bad, and junior place kicker Will Conant drills a fifty-two yard field goal to end the third quarter.

As for the rest of the game, the Raiders jump out to a quick 7-0 lead in the first, killing the Falcons in the flats. Eventually, however, Air Force settles down and gets down to business. Things are going first rate until starting quarterback junior Kale Pearson goes down near the end of the first half with a knee injury. I hope it is nothing too serious and that he’ll be back under center in no time.

As always, the tradition carries on throughout the game. Each time the Falcons score, the cadets rush onto the field and do push-ups to match the new score. Even the Falcon handlers get in on the act, as the men and women holding those majestic birds do one-armed push-ups, holding their feathered friends with the other arm. HARD CORE! For those of you who don’t know, the Air Force mascot is a living falcon, one of the better mascots in college football, that flies around the stadium, just mere feet above spectators’ heads during halftime and at other intervals. By default (this is the first game of 252 after all), that bad ass bird flying laps around the stadium interior is the coolest thing I’ve seen on this quest thus far. However, it will be tough to beat.

When the clock hits 0:00, I’m very satisfied with my first of two hundred and fifty-two scheduled games. I hope that every single one of my experiences is as fulfilling and joyous as this one.

FEEL THE THUNDER!

The Man in the Suit

P.S. To the Allard Family of Spokane, Washington and the Jenkins Family of Atlanta, Georgia. Thank you for being such splendid seat neighbors. Hopefully, everyone I meet and sit with on this journey is as fun and considerate as you.

Cowboy Up!

Wyoming vs. Idaho

07 September 2013

W 42 to 10

HAVE YOU EVER been to a college football game only to realize that you don’t have on any apparel, or even the appropriate coordinating colors, of the home team? Don’t beat yourself up too much. It happens to a lot more people than you think.

Stop 2 of 252 is a trip to cowboy country, Laramie, Wyoming, to see the Pokes. Dressed in my suit, I quickly look for a store to purchase my pin. Enter, the Brown & Gold Outlet Store. Located on the corner of 21st and Garfield Street, the store is anyone’s answer who finds themselves in the unprepared home team apparel less quagmire of the preceding paragraph. Furthermore, the outlet is wall-to-wall brown and gold! Anything and everything you can slap a cowboy logo on; from beer koozies, to wine bottle openers, to golf tees is sold here. In fact, the inventory consists of hundreds of different items. The theme of the store, not to mention the great State of Wyoming, screams loud and proud, This is Cowboy Country, so shut up and put on something Brown & Gold!

I buy my pin and head out to the community tailgating venue, which is large enough to accommodate an entire city block! It is a warm, early September, day, and the dress code is pretty standard above the waist; the colors of the Browned-Eyed Susan in various forms. However, the presentation for the bottom half of the fan depends on the gender. For most men, it’s jeans, boots, and belt buckles. Apparently here in Wyoming, the bigger and shinier the buckle the studlier the dude. The women are a little more creative. There are colorful Rodeo skirts aplenty and co-eds rock knee high cowboy boots and seriously sexy Daisy Dukes! With the exception of the denim mini-skirt, cutoff jeans are the greatest fashion design ever. Furthermore, roughly a thousand fans in attendance are wearing lime green Buddy Walk T-shirts in support of Down Syndrome Awareness. Who said cowboys don’t have big hearts?

Thirty minutes to game time, I finish off my third Coors and head to War Memorial Stadium. Though situated on flat grass land, the topography can be very misleading. Significant yellow numbers on the sidelines inform visiting teams that they are 7,220 feet above sea level. Use your oxygen wisely my friends! As the Pokes enter the stadium, their entry from the locker room to the field is one of the more unique entryways in all of college football.

Like Cowboys coming in from the prairie, the team sprints in along a concrete walkway that is nearly invisible to the fans in the stands thanks to the Blue Spruce and Mugo Pine trees that provide gentle shade to the players below. At most, you might see the blurred image of a running shadow, until suddenly, the players emerge from the darkness, race through ‘The Arch,’ and take the field with, of course, a quick pat, touch, or bump to the bronze Cowboy Tough statue at the north end zone. Through it all, tens of thousands of fans scream their oxygen rich lungs out. From kickoff, and after a thirty minute delay due to lightening, the rout is on.

On the scoring side of the ball, quarterback Brett Smith throws for 295 yards and four scores, including a beautiful touchdown pass to wide receiver Dominic Rufran, mid-way through the third quarter, which officially puts the game out of reach. On the defensive side of the ball, defensive end Eddie Yarbrough records nine total tackles and three sacks. I think it is safe to say that the Idaho quarterback is going to have vivid nightmares of number 55 chasing him, at least until next Saturday.

You heard it here first folks. After a narrow loss in Lincoln last week, and a complete dismantling of the Vandals this week, Wyoming is my pick to win the Mountain Division of the Mountain West Conference. I just don’t think Boise State is as good as they have been in previous years, and that means the rest of the division is wide open. Rejoice residents of Laramie, your ship has officially come in!

GO POKES!

The Man in the Suit

P.S. A special thank you goes out to the nice people in section 23. Not only were ya’ll kind enough to offer a great grooming tip on keeping my jacket clean when I take it off by turning it inside out, but you were generous enough to loan me a raincoat when the rains came. Thank you very much! The bane of my existence; if I don’t