Friends & Phonies

By Sara Tiger Ryan

Elitedaughter Vivalda Lyy is desperate. Someone is counterfeiting her gold grande inauguration coins.
If her Family's mint has to redeem them, the Family will go broke. Never mind how embarrassing it is to be mocked by the portrait on the counterfeit coins having her eyes nasty brown instead of the emerald green that they are.
She is sure she has stopped the counterfeiter, but she keeps finding coins and that has to stop!
She really does not want to ask her ex-best friend Sazzy for help, but the city guards have been useless at stopping the spread of the coins and the warrior mages haven't been cooperative at all.
Even if Sazzancy Delicious Jinn, Private Spy is the last person Vivalda wants to deal with, she knows that Sazzy is the only one she can trust to track down the counterfeit coins before they cause her even more embarrassment.
If she doesn't die of embarrassment just asking for Sazzy's help.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sara Tiger Ryan
• Release date: Dec 8, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463274095

Sara Tiger Ryan

Sara Tiger Ryan was born in New Hampshire. She now lives in Florida with her 2 cats. Make that minus one charming boy cat, add in a Mama cat who brought me 5 kittens--all of them adorable! Sara started writing novels in 1973 in high school study hall and hasn't stopped (for long) yet. She started out writing fantasy and added mystery. She also writes metaphysical non-fiction. Ryan was active in the small press in the mid 90's, and had her own 'zine, Star Triad.

Book preview

Chapter 1

A Surprise Client

1898, Lost Fates Season 4

Touching Fates 2

KnifeKissingday

The door between the foyer of Five Whippet West and Miss Kitty’s Private Spy Agency’s waiting room opened and closed. Sazzy lifted her head from drawing her latest premonition, listening.

Her private spy partner had been in the waiting room sweet-talking their three cats a few minutes ago. Wasn’t Dusty still there?

Dusty finally cleared his throat and said neutrally, Elite Vivalda Lyy.

Vivalda had come to Miss Kitty’s Private Spy Agency? Why? Not for anything good. Sazzy resisted sneaking over and closing and locking her hall door against her former best friend.

Even though it hadn’t been her fault that Vivalda’s Gran, Molly Lyy, had died, Sazzy very much assumed Vivalda blamed her.

Lavanta is right, Vivalda answered distantly, one can hardly bear to encounter the only other established private spy in town, never mind work with him. Vivalda paused, then added stiffly, The Family requires your assistance.

Sazzy felt all her hair stand on end. Despite the animosity between them the last few years, Vivalda had been one of her best friends since they had been five. If Vivalda seriously came after her, a big piece of her would die inside.

Dusty hadn’t answered. But he never turned down a case, not until and unless his preliminary research proved it a ruse or something shady.

I don’t believe we can help you, Dusty said evenly.

Sazzy pushed silently to her feet in case she needed to support her partner, but stayed by her desk.

After a long silence, Vivalda said, I’ll ask Saffie to persuade you then.

Sazzy’s hair stood on end again and she took a few quiet steps closer to her hall door. She and Dusty had barely saved Saffie, Dusty’s current—and looked-to-be-permanent—sweetie, from Molly’s deadly mind commands, now Vivalda was threatening him?

When Dusty spoke, his voice ran chills through Sazzy even though his words weren’t directed at her, You touch Saffie with any of your perverted Family commands and I don’t care how close you were to Sazzy all your life or what prominent pinnacle you’ve climbed to, you won’t live the week out.

I said ’ask’, Vivalda answered acidly.

Taking a deep breath, because she already know how badly Vivalda could wound with just words and voice, Sazzy stopped creeping and stalked into the waiting room to lend Dusty support.

Vivalda’s face had been carefully and expertly painted to show the bloom of health, but there was a tightness around her eyes, and furrows between her eyebrows that had never been there before. Vivalda also looked frighteningly thin and haggard. What was she doing out looking so bad? Oh. Maybe... Sazzy touched her bracelet’s sap chain link, which let her see illusions.

Vivalda wasn’t out looking that bad, she had a personal illusion on...and she really looked worse. And the severe walking gown in Vivalda’s favorite dark purple with black accents, did nothing to hide the fact.

Vivalda’s hand tightened on the handle of her umbrella as if she planned to hit Dusty with it...or if it was the only thing holding her up. Or pride might be the only thing holding her up.

Vivalda turned towards her and stifled her first few words with obvious effort. Someone is counterfeiting my inauguration coins. Vivalda paused and lifted her chin. The city guards are less than useless. The Warrior Mages weren’t able to confirm the counterfeiter or find the rest of the coins. If this isn’t solved soon, the Family will...be destroyed. Vivalda tightened her grip on her umbrella. I am assuming you aren’t so short-sighted that you would consider that a good thing. As much as I...dislike you and wish— Vivalda stopped. I don’t believe you are so unkind as to let my whole Family...fall because of the animosity between us.

Sazzy crossed her arms over her heart. There had never been any animosity on her part, only hurt. She didn’t say so.

Vivalda’s mouth tightened. Very well. Lavanta offered to come in my stead, but I felt it should be me.

’Skreek!’

All three of them jumped, even though Sazzy was as used to the rusty hinge sound of their Hyllyn Wiche cat as Dusty.

Vivalda glanced around warily as if expecting an attack, then her eyes went wide and she gave an undignified little yelp and jerked the bottom of her skirt up.

Black lace from Vivalda’s petticoat framing his slate on gray striped head like a fancy bonnet, Stripes peered out from under the edge of Vivalda’s skirt and squinted up with his most adorable look.

After a second, Vivalda laughed and said a genuine, Isn’t he sweet! She leaned down and offered Stripes her fingers to sniff. Which the cat did, then rubbed.

Sazzy exchanged a look with Dusty. They already knew what an excellent judge of character Stripes was. But she didn’t think she or Dusty were ready to work closely with Vivalda.

Like an answer to a wish to the Fates, the outside door opened and boot steps crossed the foyer. Their part-time creature Seeker and new partner, Thane, entered whistling, stopped, bowed slightly to Vivalda, and glanced questioningly between the two of them. Stripes went to Thane and leaned against his leg. Thane picked the cat up and set it on his shoulder, said hello to Miss Kitty and Sinister Magic, who lay on their former receptionist’s corner desk, then turned questioningly toward her and Dusty again.

Sazzy took a breath, held is a second, then said to Vivalda, This is our new partner Selectson Thane Wade Pettifort-Winche. Perhaps you would like to tell him what you know of your issue.

Vivalda stiffened.

Sazzy turned to Thane, Thane, this is Vivalda Lyy, the new and current Head of the Lyy Family. Along with Feon Lyy—but saying so would just antagonize Vivalda. She needs help discovering who is counterfeiting her inauguration coins. She paused and glanced at Dusty, who looked resigned and no happier than she felt, but...

I’m a creature Seeker, Thane protested.

Oh, are you the one who found Meep for Aunt Lavanta? Vivalda asked. I thank you mostly sincerely for that, Vivalda’s voice turned warm. She is so attached to that cat, and he is so intelligent and such a sweetheart.

Thane glanced between her and Dusty, then said, Miss Vivalda, would you care to step into my office and tell me what the problem is as you know it.

Vivalda froze a second, slashed her a look, but nodded for Thane to lead the way. Stripes stayed on Thane’s shoulder.

Sazzy retreated with Dusty to his office, shut the door behind them, and leaned on it. Are you angry? she asked.

Dusty shrugged. No. I’m trying not to blame Vivalda. Saffie would probably ask me to help. Or us, since he would know you are the one Vivalda needs the help from.

If she tried the Warrior Mages, that would be Perrin. He’s a better Seeker than me.

He’s about due to drop by for dinner. I’ll stop by his station and invite him, and we can find out what he knows.

We could have sent her to Cady.

We still might. Dusty paused. How did your latest premonition drawing come out?

Sazzy glanced towards Thane’s office. I think I just made sense of several pieces.

Let’s see. Dusty waved for her to precede him to her office, sat in her client chair, and pulled her premonition drawing into his lap. After a second, he said, At least I don’t see any dead bodies in... I take that back. I see one in the left hand corner. Maybe. He frowned. You made a lot of round gold circles.

Coins?

Vivalda wouldn’t really have had gold grandes minted as her inauguration coins. Wouldn’t they have just been painted to look like gold grandes? He turned the page sideways and looked up. Would she have?

Knowing Vivalda, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility, even though in the history of the country only one King had minted inauguration coins that weren’t silver or gold orphans. Her relative, King Treblen, had passed out silver cousins with his portrait on them... but Family history said that he hadn’t had them minted, the Younger Fates Entire had magicked them for him. Vivalda might have had gold cousins made just to top King Treblen.

A storm? Dusty said.

It could be the one we had last fortnight—or smaller ones stemming from that one. The storm last fortnight had felt like a time storm to her, something her timewalking Cousins made when messing seriously with the time lines. Das Cousin hadn’t known anything about it, though, and no one had warned him—or warned the city through the Crier and the Cousin Rag.

Sharp boot steps sounded leaving Thane’s office, coming down the hall, and crossing the waiting room. The foyer door opened and didn’t quite slam.

A few moments later, Thane appeared in her office doorway, looking a bit stunned.

Did we take the case or not? Dusty asked.

She did have real grandes minted for her inauguration coins. That’s insane.

That’s Viv, Sazzy answered. And meaning her scary-looking premonition drawing had been for Vivalda coming in. She exchanged a worried glance with Dusty.

Did we take the case? Dusty asked again.

Thane dropped a gold grande on her desk. Sazzy pulled it close enough to see clearly. Yes, it had Vivalda’s portrait on it. She handed it to Dusty, who whistled low.

No wonder she’s upset, Dusty said. And she’s right: if too many of these get passed out, not only will the Lyy Family go down fast, but, eventually, so will the rest of the country experience a serious dip in economy. He set the coin back on her desk and looked up at Thane. So how bad is it?

Seriously bad. She tried to fix the problem herself first. The counterfeit coins have been circulating about fortnight already.

And this is a counterfeit one? Dusty picked the coin up again. How can she tell?

Thane stifled a laugh. For one, it is better made than her real ones. The portrait is crisper.

Did she leave one of her actual coins so we can compare them?

She paid us with one of her actual coins. Thane set a second gold grande on Dusty’s knee.

They look the same to me.

Sazzy handed him her magic signature detector disk—which would magnify the image on the coins, as well as show any magic put into the making.

Dusty hovered the magic detector over Vivalda’s true coin, then the other, blinked and tipped the magic detector away. Whoa, the counterfeiter has about three times the magic as whoever made the coins for Viv. Unless you got them confused, Thane.

I put an ’x’ on the back of the counterfeit one just in case.

Dusty flipped both coins over, paused, then laughed shortly. Viv would be upset just to see how much more magic the counterfeiter has than her mint person. He passed the coins and magic detector to her. She didn’t need the magic detector to tell the difference, not for how odd her talents had turned after Feon had taken all Molly Lyy’s stops off them.

She pushed the counterfeit coin away and drew Vivalda’s minted coin close and shut her eyes. Yes, it felt like gold...or mostly gold, it had a bit of some other metal in it. Maybe not purposely. She let her Seek talent scan the city. Fifty actual coins pathed within the city, including a cache of about a dozen, which she assumed was Vivalda’s own, considering she sensed them at Molly’s whimsy, now Vivalda’s whimsy. That reminded her: Have either of you been by Molly’s whimsy lately?

I pass it every time I go see the folks, Thane answered. Cady Longwish is right, it does look like a giant square yazberry. It’s a wonder she didn’t paint the trim black.

How many? Dusty asked.

She answered with the number she had found, then pushed that coin away and pulled the counterfeit one down. This one, unexpectedly pathed as pure gold. That made no sense. Counterfeiters didn’t usually use pure metals. What would be the sense? They wouldn’t make money that way. She reported her finds, laid her fingers on the counterfeit coin and scanned the city for its fellow coins. Snatched her finger away and dropped back in her chair to recover.

Sazz? Dusty prompted.

There’s close to a hundred of those things in the city.

Dusty and Thane whistled low, then Thane said, She’s right to be worried, just that many could break her mint having to redeem them, especially if people catch on and rush the banks all at once.

She might have to refuse to redeem them, Dusty said.

Sazzy shook her head. You’re talking about Vivalda here. Her main fault has always been pride.

Fleetfoot Runners!

In here, Das, Dusty answered and, a moment later, Das Cousin sailed a letter onto her desk from the doorway, tossed another in Dusty’s lap, then leaned on the doorjamb and asked, Is everyone looking glum for a reason?

Her letter was from Feon Lyy, who wrote, ’Dear Sazzy. If the Fates aren’t entirely indifferent to the Family, Viv will be by today or tomorrow to talk to you. I realize she has treated you extremely badly, but please don’t turn her away even so, or the Family will be ruined. Yours, Feon’

Sazzy reported the letters contents to the men, then looked up. Dusty had the oddest expression on his face. What? she prompted.

He tossed her his letter. She traded him the one from Feon. Dusty’s letter was a royal command to appear at the Queen’s morning court tomorrow.

Do you think it’s related to Feon’s letter? Sazzy asked.

That would be better than my imagining she’s discovered some nefarious thing I’ve done, which she is going to lock me in the dungeon for.

Maybe I don’t want to be a partner after all, Thane said lightly.

Too late, we filed the papers at the city archives yesterday, Dusty answered. You get to go down with the ship now. Dusty passed Feon’s letter to Thane.

I need to get to my other job. Maybe Feon will be there and I can find out anything else herm knows about Vivalda’s little problem. He tossed Feon’s letter back onto her desk. Keep that on the top of your mess for my files, object Seeker. He glanced at Das, who moved out of the doorway and into her office.

Once Thane was gone, Das said, The Cousin word is to expect more Cousin storms, but no one is saying why or how many.

Dusty stood and scooped up both coins.

Das noted and complained, Is this saying you aren’t working for me any more? I’m swamped. Have pity.

I’m going to take these to Warrior Mage Talentcatcher to see what he can tell from them, Dusty said to her, then answered Das, I’ll come run messages for you afterwards, Mister Pitiful. But, be warned, next fortnight I am going on my kissingmoon trip with Saffie to celebrate our handfasting in the proper, traditional style. If I’m not in the Queen’s dungeon. He left through her suite.

Cady keeps suggesting boys to help me, Das said, but none of them have turned out to be reliable yet...except the dragonboy Vray, and he went home.

Tris says Tapper is reliable, Sazzy said.

I hear my name in vain, Tristan Stone, the editor of the Cousin Rag, said, peering though her office doorway. Where’s Dusty? He was supposed to write up his a handfasting notice for me to put in tomorrow’s Rag.

Write up that the Cousins are predicting a wave of about a half dozen nasty storms over the season, instead, Das said. Sazzy was saying you have a reliable scribe that I could lure away from you.

Who’s that?

Tapper.

Tristan waved a hand. Take his friend Hooch; he’s too slow for me.

I don’t need slow.

He writes slowly. He might run fast. Maclen is training Tapper to chase down news. So far they’ve brought back two stories before the Crier even guessed to look.

Still talking, the two passed down the hall towards the Cousin Rag room. Sazzy pulled her latest premonition drawing close enough to study. Luckily it would be Thane’s job to tell Vivalda how many counterfeit coins were circulating in the city.

A half wizardmark later, someone stalked into the waiting room. Sazzy hastily turned her premonition picture upside-down and set a handful of papers on it. None too soon.

Vivalda stopped in her office doorway and eyed her. You know very well, you are the only one here able to find the counterfeit coins before they cause the Family concern, not a creature Seeker. Where are they? Have you spent my coin already?

Dusty took both coins to the warrior mages to get Catcher’s estimation of the magic signatures on them.

Vivalda set two coins on the desk. I will want these two back.

Without comment, Sazzy drew the two coins close. How can you tell the difference between them? Without touching them, they appeared the same to her—other than one coin looked a hair more refined. Had that been the true coin?

Vivalda crossed her arms. The counterfeiter made my eyes muddy brown not emerald green.

Sazzy glanced at one coin, then the other, then Vivalda. Vivalda’s eyes were muddy brown. Except Sazzy knew her ex-friend had used an illusion on her eyes since they had been children so that her eyes would appear green. Sazzy squinted at the coins. How could Vivalda even see the eyes, never mind the color? The coins were a tight thumb to forefinger circle around. Which is which?

Can’t you tell? If not, you won’t be much help in Seeking the counterfeit ones out and retrieving them.

Vivalda wanted her to Seek the counterfeit coins one by one and retrieve them? Sazzy decided not to deal with that yet. I can tell they’re different. She touched each coin. One has a hair more magic, one is a bit better made, one has more gold in it than the other.

Ours are all gold. The counterfeiter’s is painted gold.

Sazzy touched one coin with a fingertip, then the other. If the one with the most gold was the true coin, then the less finely etched coin would be the counterfeit one. That made sense. Except, hadn’t it been the other way around?

Dusty came in from his office carrying his magnifying glass and handed it to her. Vivalda had stayed standing, Dusty sat in her client chair. Good, she needed the support.

Sazzy inspected the two coins with the magnifying glass. She still couldn’t see the difference in the eye color of the two portraits.

The counterfeit one had more magic, Dusty said.

It does not, Vivalda argued. Ours has more magic and more gold.

You had pure gold grandes minted for your inauguration? Dusty said.

Vivalda lifted her chin. Of course.

How many did you have made?

Vivalda crossed her arms. I only had one hundred made. I kept back about twenty for later, in case.

She had counted only a dozen in Vivalda’s stash. Sazzy didn’t say so. How many counterfeit coins have you found?

Vivalda stiffened. Five. There shouldn’t be that many more.

Dusty took a breath and didn’t speak after all. He exchanged a wry look with her. We’ll tell Thane you came back in.

A creature Seeker will not be able to find and retrieve the stupid counterfeit coins.

But you are Thane’s client. Sazzy and I wouldn’t want to steal you from him.

I’m not a Fetcher, Sazzy added.

Vivalda shot her a dark look, turned on heel, and stalked out.

Vivalda had left the other two coins. Sazzy slid them into her top desk drawer for safe keeping and sat back. Ow! Why was her truth stone so hot? She took it off and inspected it. It seemed to be fine. She set the pendant on her desk and pressed her palm to her chest.

Did Vivalda lie a hole into your heart? Dusty asked, slipping her latest premonition drawing back out from under her camouflage pile of papers.

Had Vivalda what? Sazzy stared at him a few moments, then glanced at the truthstone. Oh, right, it was supposed to heat when someone told a lie. Except she wouldn’t know Vivalda if her ex-friend wasn’t bending the truth one way or another. That’s just Vivalda.

No, that’s someone who lies just to lie. Someone who lies so much she destroys truthstones.

Sazzy picked up her truthstone. It’s fine, it just got... The stone fell out of the setting in pieces.

You were saying? Dusty said amusedly.

She stared a second, then made a face and scooped the stone pieces into her trash. What did Catcher say?

Both coins were made by someone with Lyy talent. The counterfeiter has more of that talent, plus twice as much metalsmithing talent.

But not by the same person?

No.

She leaned her chin in her hand. Didn’t Saffie say someone at the Lyy mint had died recently?

He said a boy at the mint killed himself after Vivalda visited the mint that day.

You think she accused the boy of being the counterfeiter?

I wouldn’t be surprised. She’s probably trying to figure out how to accuse you of the same thing.

Goldsmithing and coin minting are no talents that I have.

Too bad, it would be fun to own our own mint.

Chapter 2

A Surprise For Dusty

SkittersDelightday

The next morning, Sazzy went to the palace with Dusty in case her presence would make a difference, and because he was truly worried about what the Queen had called him in for.

The Queen settled two land disputes before having Dusty called forward. Sazzy squeezed his hand reassuringly as he stood, and worried after him as he walked the aisle to face the Queen.

When Dusty stopped before the Queen and bowed, she said, It is my pleasure to inform you that you have been voted elite as of yesterday morning.

Dusty blinked.

Sazzy sat up in surprise. All nine Heads of the Families had voted Dusty elite? Even Wisteria?

Your Majesty, Dusty said. I am overwhelmed.

Congratulations, also, on your handfasting; the court wishes you joy.

Thank you. Dusty paused, repeated his thanks, and a page escorted him to the royal scribe’s table, where he was presented with a certificate of his new title.

When Dusty left the table, Feon stepped up to him and hugged him. The Prince followed and added his hug. The three came over to her.

So, Elite Dusten Clarey Kincaid, Prince Lyzan said, are you as astounded as Mum and I that all ten Heads of the families agreed on anything, never mind to promote Miss Kitty’s prime instigator to Elite status?

Ha, Dusty said. Why really?

Viv did it for her Family, so Saffie wouldn’t be handfasting beneath himself. Wisteria was hoping that, with sufficient status, you would marry Sazzy and stop her from embarrassing her Family—rather than, as we know you would, encourage her to worse. That was before your handfasting to Saffon Lyy became news. Of the rest, I don’t know—other than Zare talked his sister into it as a lark, herm said, and the Head of our Family just let Mum take our vote.

I feel odd, Dusty said.

You look odd, Feon teased. Nothing at all like an elevated elite boy should. I voted for you because I think you’re an asset to the country.

I blush becomingly, Dusty answered.

Feon rolled herm’s eyes and teased, Or maybe not. Feon paused and turned serious. Did you take Viv’s case? She’s put the whole Family into a wretched position. You’re our only hope.

Actually Warrior Mage Perrin Longwish has a more refined Seek talent than I do, Sazzy answered.

Please; Viv would die of mortification if she had to deal with the warrior mages.

The Longwishes are friends, she and Dusty said warningly.

Speaking of the Longwishes, I’ve asked Cady Longwish not to tell the Weens anything about Daquery, Feon said, and I haven’t found the right time to tell Daq. He starts to seems stable, then he falls apart again. I don’t dare.

The Weens probably would rather keep their son dead and enshrined, Sazzy said, then to find out he’s alive with all that means.

I’ve talked to them at a couple parties, they seem...I don’t know...But I would guess that, too. Though I feel I ought to tell Daquery, since I know.

Not and hurt him, Lyzan interjected. And here he comes.

Sazzy glanced at Dusty, then Lyzan, and said to the Prince, Are you coming to dinner tonight?

Should I?

As an honorary member of Miss Kitty’s. And to celebrate Dusty’s good fortune.

the Prince answered through their communication earrings.

I’ll be there unless I have a crisis at the school. Thanks.

For the invitation, for considering him part of Miss Kitty’s.

For being a friend, the Prince said, as if hearing her thoughts.

When they arrived back at the office, Dusty slumped into her client chair. I’m worrying about why.

"Because you’re a charming