Rood Der: 14: Et Tu, Barney?

By Douglas Christian Larsen

Rood Der: 14: Et Tu, Barney? In the Forest of Hungry Ghosts, Barney and Rodney resolve some long-standing issues between them, as well as entertain some very cute visitors, but Rodney might have some difficulty in discerning the reality of a dream within a dream in a dream within a dream, and the big guy with a face like a crocodile probably isn't going to provide a whole lot of help.

How deep are we, immersed in this world we call reality? How many turtles down do we go, in this discombobulated, mixed-metaphor, rabbit-hole world?

Their world might be based on Ayn Rand, her writings, philosophies, and her U.S. Presidency, but how dense are their numbers compressed, and for how long will their simulation even run? This little group has been provided an exit, but would anyone be rude enough to dare and leave their very own reality?

Take the Rude Dare, and Cross over, where data is data, through the Red Door. From the author of Vestigial Surreality comes the new serial novel, Rood Der.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 9, 2017
• ISBN: 9781365882852

Book preview

Rood Der: 14: Et Tu, Barney?

Rood Der: 14

Et Tu, Barney?

The Sunday SciFi-Fantasy Serial

by Douglas Christian Larsen

ISBN: 978-1-365-88285-2

© Douglas Christian Larsen 2017

It was Barney’s face, this monstrous swollen visage before him, except the pocked and pitted surface was enormous and stretched out of all proportion, the eyes popping and rolling, like some insane doll, and the teeth were blocks more appropriately sized for the mouth of a hippopotamus. One bite and Rodney would lose half himself down that garbage-disposal gullet. And the face puckered its rubbery lips and squealed and screamed and shrieked and gibbered.

This is all your fault! All your fault! the giant Barney bellowed and blubbered, a bizarre infantile Barney, half inconsolable child and half monster escaped from hell.

Rodney barely managed to get a thought launched. His brain must have detached from the inside of his skull. His chest felt caved in, but all he could think was: Barney, Barney, this is Barney.

On and off through the years, they had been friends—somewhat. Barney was one of the nastiest, most negative, and downright creepiest guy he had ever known, but hey, they’d had some good times, drinking beer, playing video games, going to sports bars and rock concerts, Barney always drinking and driving, so very proud of his loud, rancid farts, and even louder and more rancid belches.

Knock it off! Rodney roared, yelling square into the giant’s face, surprising even himself.

The giant Barney stopped shaking him and stood stupidly, staring into Rodney’s face, looking as if he had been caught in a degrading act.

Put me down, now! Rodney roared, completely beside himself. How dare this big dummy shake him like a rag doll. Stupid Barney.

After a second, Barney did just that, he obeyed Rodney’s command, and gingerly placed Rodney upon the forest floor.

What is wrong with you! Rodney hollered up at the blank-faced giant, who didn’t look so much like Barney now, but more like a gag-gift Barney balloon, overinflated and ready to burst.

"You gotta help me Rod! Please, you gotta help me! I keep eating them, all of them, but I just get more and more hongry!" Barney said, and it was definitely Barney, because no one else ever