The Set Up: A Testimony from Joshua

By Yahrocka White

Consider Joshua, a native of Shreveport, Louisiana, and his inspired testimony, The Set Up. In his early twenties, Joshua relocated to Washington, D.C, where his life was affected by his sexuality, HIV/AIDS, racial discrimination, sexual assault, incarceration, mental illness and religious reckoning. After having a vision in which he was imbued to write a book, and through life altering circumstances, Joshua manages to tell a riveting story that is certain to magnetize and inspirit the reader, as you live each moment with him. “Everyone has a testimony and I must tell the story,” Joshua expresses with conviction... “Are you ready to be a witness?”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Apr 11, 2018
• ISBN: 9781483481173

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WHITE

Copyright © 2018 Yahrocka White.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of the author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

ISBN: 978-1-4834-8118-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-8117-3 (e)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date: 02/21/2018

This book is dedicated,

in loving memory, to

Jewel Ary

(1946-1990)

and

Tony B. Bankhead

(1961-2012).

Inspired by true events.

INTRODUCTION

M y name is Joshua Williams. When I was around four years of age, my dad started chastising me, and verbally abusing me, because I was feminine. I liked playing with my sister’s toys, just as much as I liked playing with mine, and he couldn’t stand it.

Daddy used to call me a faggot, on multiple occasions… He would call me a pussy, a sissy, and a son of a bitch. He had no respect for my mother, either, whom I loved very much. And when I would begin to cry, because of the abuse, he would physically beat me.

Often times, he would stand me in front of him, as he sat in a chair. He would look at me in the eye and say,

You little faggot… You’re gonna burn in hell… I’m gonna cave you in the chest…

He would then hit me with the knuckle of his forefinger, with great force… so hard that he knocked the wind out of me, and I could not breathe… It went on to me being beaten bloody for being a gay child, while not even understanding what gay meant. But unfortunately, I learned quick.

It was an older kid from my neighborhood, who would lead me to the woods after school, and teach me things a child shouldn’t know. It started innocently. He would play with me after school, and we’d run through the woods. He told me he was the Boogie Man, and I had to make it ‘home’ to win. If he caught me, however, he would tickle me all the way home. Home was the other side of the woods, where there was a creek, and a field with wild flowers of purple and yellow. I hated being tickled, although it would make me laugh, so I was trying my best to out run him. The Boogie Man would never catch me, so I thought.

Being bigger and older than me, he controlled the outcome of every time we played this game. Sometimes, I would win, but most of the time he’d win, and he started by tickling me under my arms. Then he would tickle my stomach. Then he would tickle and touch me on my private parts, and I would laugh even harder, while running as fast as I could. One day he tackled me, and laid on top of me and said,

You are cute, little boy. You gone be my son. I laughed and said,

I got a daddy, and he bigger than you. Get off me, punk, but he wouldn’t get off. Instead, he molested me, then afterwards he said,

You bet not tell. If you do, I’m gonna tell everybody that you are a faggot, and they will beat you up… you hear me?

I aint gone tell nobody, I said. I’ll get in big trouble. I swear… what is a faggot?

A faggot is a curse word for a boy who acts like a girl… You know, a sissy.

I got it, I said.

Has anyone called you a faggot?

Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about it. It makes me sad, I replied.

We left the woods that day and I went to my home… A few days later, we moved, and I never saw him again, but I would never forget our sessions in the woods. And I vowed I would never tell a soul.

By the time I was eight, I had similar experiences with other boys. It was as if we were playing an innocent game, and I knew, way back then, that I liked playing with boys more than I liked girls. My sexual journey became my darkest secret ever, as I experimented with males and females… But I was ashamed of myself for most of my life, and often times, I was depressed, and confused about who and what I am. But I’m all grown up now, and I gained some strength. This is the story about how, as an adult, I lost my mind to save my soul; and I’m sorry if I offend anyone, but this is The Set Up… a testimony from Joshua.

Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you.

1 Peter 4:12

CHAPTER 1

A LIFE IN THE LIFE

A lot of people in this club gone burn in hell! Andre proclaimed, as if he was the last prophet on earth. Give me another shot of tequila, he said to the bartender. And give my boy another one of them fruity drinks.

Don’t start, Dre, and I don’t want another drink, I replied with a smirk, while stirring the ice cubes in my Absolute and cranberry cocktail, with a twist of lime. I removed the red straw from my cup, placed it on the counter, and took a sip.

Here we were, sitting at the bar, trying to get our drink on, and this boy wants to preach a fire and brimstone sermon about who’s going to hell. Whatever happened to the adage of judge not, so you won’t be judged? Why do so-called Christian people think that they are the only ones going to heaven? Besides all of that, I was trying to enjoy the party at Traxx tonight.

Every year, at this time, thousands of Black men from around the world converge upon Washington, D.C., during Memorial Day weekend for Black Gay Pride, like bargain shoppers on Black Friday. Forget what you heard; this is the most wonderful time of the year for the Black gay man. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been naughty or nice; you’re in for the time of your life.

This is obviously your first time in a gay club, I commented.

Hell yeah, Andre said quickly. It’s cool, though. Do you come here often?

Nah. I only do the club scene once a year.

Jesus Christ, it’s so many of yall, bro… I didn’t know it was this many Black homosexuals in D.C. Not that I’m a fag or anything, but there aint no ugly niggas up in here. I know they can get some pussy if they want to.

To my surprise, Andre made a valid point; there are plenty of masculine, drop-dead, gorgeous, Black, gay men in D.C., and Pride brings out the best of them. I’ve indulged in the annual festivities since I moved to D.C. nine years ago, and it gets bigger, and better every year. There had to be at least fifteen thousand men at Traxx tonight, with half of them outside in the streets, partying as if it was New Year’s Eve, 1999.

So, what are you really trying to say, Dre? Do you think gay men can’t attract women?

I used to think they couldn’t. I see different now, Andre continued, as he