Captain Omega Volume I Adventures Galore!

By Scot Savage

The space spoof to end all space spoofs!

In an alternate dimension, Captain Omega, the Ultimate Male, battles the forces of evil with the help of friends and allies.

Roll your eyes in disgust, as our hero faces off against the Squid Man of Galaxy IV; an insane genetically-perfected human; Galactor and his super-weapon; and a time-traveling Cyborg bent on revenge!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Oct 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781387236121

Book preview

Captain Omega Volume I Adventures Galore!

Captain Omega Volume 1: Adventures Galore!

A Novel

Scot Savage

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Scot Savage Enterprises

Schaumburg, IL

www.havevampirewilltravel.com

[e-mail]

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Scot Savage Enterprises

Copyright © 2008 by Scot Savage

ISBN # 978-1-387-23612-1

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination, or, if real, used fictitiously. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including, but not limited to, photocopying, recording or by any information storage retrieval system, without the express written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews or where permitted by law.

Cover Art by Scot Savage

Scot Savage Enterprises Designs

Printed in the United States of America

¹⁰ ⁹ ⁸ ⁷ ⁶ ⁵ ⁴ ³ ²

Dedication

To Tom Tancin whose novel, Perfection, inspired me

to finally put this in print.

PART 1

The Intangible World

CHAPTER 1

Captain Omega, do you read me? Over?

There was no answer.

Captain Omega, this is Commodore Baker. Do you read me? Over?

There was still no answer.

Hey, answer your speaker, jerk!

Hold your horses, Baldy! said the captain after finally activating the send frequency of his ship’s communicator. The captain had used the previous few seconds to place a toothpick on the right side of his mouth and comb his gorgeous wavy blond hair. Okay, I’m ready. What’s up, lard butt?

Don’t be such a wise ass! shouted the Commodore. Need I remind you that this is a superior officer that you’re addressing? If you don’t start showing me some respect one of these days, I’m finally going to file charges against you.

Captain Omega smiled. It was the same threat he had heard time after time. And time after time, Omega gave the same response. Sure you will. You’re not gonna’ throw out the best pilot and the Federation’s greatest military hero and public icon. You need me to maintain your outstanding command rating. I’m your number-one asset to your career and you know it.

He was right.

Look, I just get a little annoyed when you don’t answer your communicator. I think you do that on purpose just to get under my skin.

Commodore Baker was right about that, but Omega wasn’t about to admit to anything. Sorry, boss, but I was a little busy.

Busy? Doing what? Combing your hair and admiring yourself in the mirror?

"Very funny. I don’t need to look in a mirror. I already know that I’m one hell of a handsome guy. I’m the Stud of the Universe and I have to maintain appearances. If you got a problem with that, take it up with the Celestial Elder."

"Don’t start that again, Omega. I don’t care what Greater Cosmic Entity christened you as the Ultimate Male. You still have to answer to the Federation."

Hey, I ran into a Zarton patrol. They were violating Federation Space. I needed some time to deal with them.

"Zartons? Why didn’t you say so? Then again, what’s the trouble? It’s nothing you couldn’t easily handle. Didn’t you tell me those guys were wimps, or is the mighty Omega slipping?"

Normally, they are, but not when it’s one on ten. Anyway, I noticed that their ships were armed with stolen Federation technology. They had Hyperion cannons—the kind that can take out a single-man cruiser, like mine, with one shot.

One shot?

Yeah, but fortunately they’re still stupid. So I used my unique and brilliant piloting skills and did a quick duck behind an asteroid.

Asteroid?

Yeah. And as I figured, they followed me, one at a time, in a single line. I was able to take them out with my tail cannons.

Tail cannons?

Yeah. Omega chuckled to himself. I got those stupid bastards before they knew what happened.

Stupid bastards?

Yeah, stupid bastards. That’s what I just said. Are you a friggin’ moron or something? Why are you repeating everything like a parrot?

You know, Omega, if you weren’t the best pilot in the Federation Space Patrol, I would have had your ass a long time ago.

Well, that’s your problem, Commodore. Now, if you would be so kind as to state your business as I’m on furlough—effective right now. Make it snappy. I was on my way to that moon on Mongor. They have great beaches. This gorgeous and muscular body is overdue for a tan.

That’s going to be a problem, Omega. I’m afraid you’re going to have to postpone your vacation for a little while.

What! Don’t start pulling my leg, Baldy.

"We sort of have one more simple little mission for you."

Another mission? Come on. I’ve been on active duty six months straight without a furlough. I’m overdue and I’m also tired as hell. Can’t someone else do it?

They would if they could. This situation hit us at the last minute and time is vital. You’re the only pilot in the area.

"Okay. Okay. What the heck is this situation?"

Well. The Commodore cleared his throat. "It seems as though an old friend of yours is back and up to more trouble."

Who the hell is it, if you don’t mind my asking?

You’re all-time nemesis—Ockto Octavian.

Ockto Octavian! Captain Omega was greatly surprised by the mention of that name. The Squid Man from Galaxy IV? Is that son-of-a-bitch back? I thought I finally took care of him for good when I blew up his space station.

Well, he apparently must have jettisoned to safety in an escape pod.

Escape pod! The Captain repeated with mild disgust. "I thought my sensors picked something off my port side back then. And I was going to check it out but some asshole ordered me to drop everything and return to base."

"I had to order everyone out, Omega. Those bombs that Ockto exploded in that sector of space were building up too much contamination in that area. If you spent too much time there, the radiation would have made that beautiful hair, that you treasure so much, fall out. We can’t have that happening to the Stud of the Universe."

Quit making excuses. Just tell me the situation.

It looks as though he’s giving the Millaxons some trouble.

Millaxons? Those cute, little, green guys? They wouldn’t hurt a fly. Why is he picking on them?

"Apparently, he has a Photon Bomb and he’s threatening to use it to

blow their planet to pieces."

Why does he feel a need to do that?

We don’t know. So far, he’s made no demands.

No demands? No ransom? A puzzled looked formed on Omega’s face. That’s strange, even for the Squid Man. This sounds like a Code-One Emergency.

No, it isn’t, Omega. Unfortunately for Millax, the Earth Federation doesn’t consider it to have any significant value. It’s no loss to the Federation if it gets destroyed. I’m sending someone over for the sake of morality. The Millaxons have also helped some of our pilots out in the past. I don’t think it would be right to turn our backs and abandon them to their fate.

Yeah. Once I got shot down and had to make an emergency landing on that planet. I was knocked unconscious on impact and my ship caught on fire, but those little guys came and pulled me out before it exploded.

I’m glad you agree. I need you to fly over there, intercept the bomb and jettison it into the nearest sun.

Captain Omega relaxed in his seat and smiled. Once again, as always, he had the upper hand. Well, Commodore, I just don’t know if I can.

Come on. You have to do this. It could mean a promotion.

Promotion? What promotion? I’m already the youngest naval captain in the history of the Federation. I don’t have enough seniority to go to Admiral or even Commodore. Unless, of course—you’re willing to give me command of the Gold Platoon.

I can’t do that. The Gold Platoon is a recon squad. Are you still trying to pass that idea of creating a space patrol/recon combination squad to Team Omega? Look, it’s a good idea on the surface, but I already promised that command to someone else.

Too bad, Commodore, Omega answered with a wicked smile. Then, I guess, I’m just too tired to go.

Are you refusing this mission?

That’s right, Baldy, said Omega as he adjusted his toothpick to a more comfortable position in his mouth.

You can’t do that. I’m ordering you to go!

You can’t order me. I’ve been on four consecutive missions. According to the Federation regulation handbook, any officer cannot be ordered to go on a mission after completing four previous missions until a two-week inactive period has been completed. The only exception to this rule is in a time of war or the situation is a Code-One Emergency. You just told me it wasn’t, so you’re out of luck.

Just forget it, Omega. I’ll get someone else.

Nice try, Commodore, but you also just told me that there was no one else. Just as always, Omega was about to get his way.

Damn you, Omega! All right. You win. The Gold Platoon is yours. I’ll just have to give Commander McMouse some other squad.

McMouse? Omega recognized the name. As in—Brian McMouse?

That’s right. You know him?

Only by reputation. We’ve never met, but I heard he’s one hell of a field commander and one of the best officers in the Federation—besides me. I hate to screw him. Tell ya’ what. We can share command of that group. Reconers would probably respond to orders from one of their own anyway.

That’s fair, said Baker. I’ll run it by McMouse. I think he’ll go for it.

Thank you, Commodore. I knew you’d see things my way. Consider this mission completed. This is Captain Omega. Over and out.

Omega chuckled to himself as soon as he made sure that Baker was no longer transmitting. What a moron! I would have gone anyway, Gold Platoon or not. After all, Captain Omega may be the biggest prima donna in the universe, but he always takes care of his friends, especially those that saved his life.

Should I set an automatic course for Millax?

Omega looked down at his control board to address his ship’s computer. No thanks. I’ll fly there on manual. I’m feeling a bit punchy. Just let me know if I’m veering off course.

Anything you say, answered the computer.

Omega pulled out his compact mirror and examined his wonderful face. He stared at his bright, yellow, wavy, blond hair. He stared at his deep blue eyes and his handsome broad nose. He ran his hand across his smooth unblemished face. "Not a pimple in sight—as usual. I am one gorgeous hunk of man. What can I say? After all, I am the Stud of the Universe."

Omega pulled back on his control stick and pressed the button on top that activated the thrust rockets. His single-passenger patrol cruiser raced through space. Its destination was a little planet called Millax—and Ockto Octavian!

Ockto Octavian—the Squid Man of Galaxy IV!

It gave Omega a cold shiver just to think about him. After all this time, the bastard was back, and up to more trouble.

They didn’t call him the Squid Man for nothing!

Although his body was humanoid, his head was that of a giant squid made of eight tentacles that were four feet long. His skin was always oozing green slime. The slime gave off such a repulsive stench, that if a person where to stand within two feet of him for more than a few minutes, they could die of asphyxiation.

Due to that deadly fact, the only creatures that could serve as his mercenaries and henchmen were the wormy-like Scraglons from the scum-infested world of Seweron. Although they were the only ones, that were immune to the deadly effects of the stench, they still preferred to stand upwind of their master.

Ockto was one mean and evil prick, too. His greatest pleasure in life was to burrow his tentacles into the body of his enemies (preferably a human enemy because he hated them most of all) and tear out the guts and devour them right in front of the victim’s eyes. When he was done feasting, he would belch in the victim’s face. He would delight himself in the horror of their faces

before they would keel over and die.

Up until now, Omega believed he was finished with the asshole.

Omega and the Squid Man were sworn enemies for many years now. He remembered their first encounter when he initially glimpsed that once-in-a-lifetime squid-like head.

At that time, Captain Omega was known as Lieutenant Commander Omega. It was all those years ago when Omega interfered in Ockto plans to take over a small solar system.

When Omega caused Ockto’s plan to fail, he caught the eternal ire of the Squid Man (not to mention that Omega got him really ticked off as well).

Ever since that encounter, Ockto swore revenge upon the Stud of the Universe.

On many occasions, Ockto tried to kill and/or humiliate Omega, but the good captain always found a way to thwart his evil and demented plans.

Despite his numerous victories against the Squid Man, fate prevented him from finishing the bastard off, once and for all. Ockto always found a way to escape and fight another day. Ockto would always pop up when Omega least expected, such as now. Omega became frustrated at the thought of their last encounter. He thought he blew Ockto all over the galaxy, but apparently, he has returned.

What could Ockto Octavian possibly gain by blowing up Millax? The planet had no cities. It produced no exports. It took in no imports. It wasn’t a world of any significant importance except to the inhabitants. The natives never bothered nor posed a threat to anyone. They were happy just to live off the abundant wild vegetation and live a happy and frivolous life.

Omega clinched his fist in anger as he thought about how Ockto was tormenting those poor little Millaxons who never did harm to anyone.

Captain Omega made his space craft go faster and faster. He wanted to get there as soon as possible so he could make the scumbag pay.

Captain Omega’s ship entered the Delta-Gamma sector of space. Just ahead of him, he spotted a pair of single-passenger cruisers up ahead. They were both civilian ships and flying side by side.

One was a Volgrot ship. The other was from Earth.

Omega squeezed his ship between the two and forced the Volgrot ship off course and bounced it into a passing asteroid. The huge dent in the side of the ship temporarily disabled the Volgrot. He cursed and made a lewd gesture at Omega as they ship passed him by.

Thanks for the assist, cutie. That Volgrot pervert has been following me all day. He keeps trying to pick me up.

Omega turned his head to see that the pilot of the remaining ship belonged to a gorgeous brunette wearing a tight blue space suit. Omega’s jaw nearly hit the floor. He quickly activated his communicator.

If you don’t mind me saying so, Miss, you sure know how to handle a ship. What are you doing out here? This isn’t exactly a safe place for a civilian pilot to be out alone, especially one as great-looking as yourself.

"Like I said, I was trying to ditch that Volgrot. You seem to be in a

hurry yourself, handsome."

I have some business to take care of which I’m not at liberty to discuss. Why don’t you stick around, it won’t take me long. After I deal with my assignment, maybe we can get together and I can show you my bottle cap collection.

Sounds like fun. I’ll be looking out for ya’.

Omega winked his eye at his new friend and then hit turbo boost. He was out of sight within seconds.

What a stud! said the young woman.

What an asshole! muttered the Volgrot.

CHAPTER 2

After speeding through many sectors of space, Omega finally closed in to the planet in which he was heading.

You should be getting a visual of the planet Millax, Captain.

Thank you, computer. Omega looked down at his scanners before taking a visual of the planet.

Omega was still captivated by the beauty of the planet, despite that he had seen it many times before. It was still an awesome orange sphere floating in space. It appeared peaceful, calm, content and unaware that Ockto Octavian could destroy it on a whim.

You are very welcome, sir, answered the computer who interrupted Omega's train of thought.

No problem.

I am glad to be of assistance.

Okay.

If you require any more assistance, all you need do is ask.

I will.

I really enjoy helping you, sir.

Sure.

I am not lying about that. I really, really like to help out.

Will you shut up!

As Omega’s ship approached closer and closer to the planet, the scans picked up two oncoming objects.

It looks like two ships, computer. If you want to be of help, then get a scan on them and tell me who they are.

They are two Scraglon Sewer-ships.

Scraglon Sewer-Ships? How did they manage to get those pieces of crap off the ground?

Scanners also indicate that they are armed with Hyperion cannons.

Son-of-a-bitch! How did they come across Hyperion cannons as well? Probably got them from the same jerk that supplied them to the Zartons. How come they won’t arm Federation ships with those guns? We’re a legitimate peace-keeping force, for crying out loud!

The Federation only arms ships with Hyperion cannons only at times when war is officially declared or in times of severe political and/or civil unrest. Of course, there is another exception should Federation High Command issue Marshall Law—

Well, computer, since we don’t have time for that, I want you to hook up all possible power to the engines and give me ultra-boost.

If I do that, you will not have any power to operate your laser cannons.

"It doesn’t matter. With ultra-boost I can whiz right past those ships

and reach the planet's surface before they know what’s happened. They’ll never catch me, so I won’t need to fight them. I need to get to that bomb and I don’t have time for a dogfight. Hyperion cannons may take out ships like mine with one shot, but the drawback is that they’re heavy and slow your ship down, not to mention that they drain large amounts of power."

But at our present angle, a sudden shift to ultra-boost could cause you to black out.

I might black out, but you won’t. I’m sure I can rely on you to take over the controls should that happen.

Very good, sir. The computer adjusted its setting for the next maneuver. Ultra-boost is now ready. Awaiting your command.

Just as the Scraglons were in visual and targeting range, Omega hit the button on his control stick and let the ultra-boost kick in. The g-force pushed him back into his seat as if he were going to be blown out through the tail of his ship.

In just a few seconds, his head became heavy and his vision was going dark. The ship zoomed right past and in between the two Scraglon Sewer-ships. Now the Scraglons, being complete morons in their own right, fired their Hyperion cannons at a ship that had already passed them. They were so stupid that they never bothered to move out of each other’s line of fire.

As a result, each Hyperion cannon managed to blow up each other’s ship into Scraglon Sewer-ship space garbage."

What a bunch of nimrods, said the half-conscious Omega.

Did you see that? said the Scraglon lieutenant as he monitored the view screen. Did you see that? The intruder has gotten past our two guard ships, and without even firing a single shot.

That’s too gosh, darn bad, said Ockto Octavian. The Squid Man remained calmly seated in his large throne-like chair. He reached for the bowl on the small table next to his seat where he pulled out the remains of a human arm, at which he proceeded to suck the marrow.

The lieutenant could not understand his master’s sudden callousness and unconcern over the situation, especially when it involved his greatest nemesis, Captain Omega. Sir, he might get through our defenses.

Oh, gee whiz, answered Ockto as some of the marrow drooled down his mouth.

Omega regained consciousness just as the ship broke through the atmosphere of the planet.

Computer, can you do a scan for Beta particles given off by the bomb? I think if we can pick up a strong enough reading, it should be easy to track down.

I’ve already anticipated your request, sir. I’ve already locked in on the source. The co-ordinates should be displaying on your control terminal now.

I’m on my way. Omega plotted a mental course from the co-ordinates. He made a quick hard jerk on his control stick and made his ship take a sharp turn. Lower the grappling arms. I’m going to make this mission quick and simple. I’m gonna’ snatch the bomb right from under Ockto’s nose and get the hell out of here.

Since the bomb was small in size (about the size of a football), it could

easily be picked up. A small door opened from the bottom of the ship and out stretched a long mechanical arm with a hand-like claw attached to the end. The ship had leveled off some ten feet above the surface of the planet. Omega had to use both hands to control the ship. Even for an ace pilot like Omega, traveling this low to the ground and at such a fast speed made it extremely difficult to control the ship, if not dangerous.

Suddenly, the grasslands of the planet became steep hills and then mountain ranges. On one on these mountains was a gigantic gray platform resting near the edge of a cliff. There were several makeshift buildings, which served as a temporary base of operations for the Squid Man. Several Scraglon warriors had assembled themselves to the platform. Omega laughed as the morons tried to shoot down his ship with mere sidearm pistols. Even if Omega were to slow down the ship so that they could hit it, the best that the firepower could do was put a few scratches on it.

If the laser cannons were back on line, I could cut these idiots down without even having to aim.

That would be rather unsporting of you, sir, especially since they pose no real danger. You wouldn’t really shoot them down in cold blood, even if they are worthless Scraglons?

"No, computer. I said I could shoot them down, not that I actually would. However, if I could fire on them, I’d just put a few blasts over their heads just to make them piss in their pants and run off screaming like the chickens that they are."

Fifteen seconds until interception, sir.

Good. Get ready to snatch it.

Omega was a little annoyed that he had to depend on the computer to grab the bomb. He could have just as easily snatched it himself but he needed both hands to maintain control of ship.

A few seconds later, Omega heard a loud clang.

Bomb intercepted, sir.

Great work, computer. Let’s get it out of harm’s way. Omega pulled back hard on his control stick and his craft zoomed straight up into the sky.

Within seconds, it broke through Millax’s atmosphere.

This is almost too easy. Omega laughed to himself. It looks as though ol’ Ockto is losing his touch. Computer set a course for the nearest sun so I can jettison this bomb without endangering anyone.

Suddenly, a voice broke into the communications system. What’s the meaning of this? Who took my photon bomb? Identify yourself!

This is Captain Omega of the Earth Federation Space Patrol. What’s poppin’, Squid Man? Long time, no see.

Omega! What a pleasant surprise! Ockto's voice was heavily filled

with sarcasm. "Still a captain? I thought you’d end up as an admiral by now

or, at least, a commodore."

You always were a flatterer, Ockto. I may not have enough service years to make admiral, yet, but you are now talking to the future commander of the Gold Platoon.

The Gold Platoon? How very impressive. That’s even better than a promotion. My congratulations, Captain. Now putting all niceties aside, you have been a very naughty boy. You have stolen something that doesn’t belong to you.

That’s right, tentacle-face. I’m gonna drop this off into the nearest sun and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I can detonate the bomb right now.

"Nice bluff, but no dice. I’m out of range of your detonator. I also know that a photon bomb must be stationary for it to be activated. So as long as I’m moving through space, I have nothing to worry about. Once again, I’ve thwarted your plans. This time you even made it easy for me to make an ass out of you. Are you getting soft on me, Squid Man? It seems that in our past encounters, your plans were a little more—let’s say—clever and sinister. I expected more from you, Ockto. This is so