Demon of Want

By Freja Gray

Izumi Yamakawa, a directionless twenty-something, is a part-time employee of the Oh Joy Toy Store. When she witnesses her manager die in a horrific merchandising accident, she discovers that he was a member of a Japanese demon hunting organization and had been eyeing her for recruitment due to her family lineage. Now Izumi, along with her trans girlfriend, Maria, and a boisterous sword-for-hire, Rhea, get caught up investigating the various monsters and demons running the Oh Joy Toy company. Demon of Want is an eclectic blend of tongue in cheek urban fantasy, over the top violence, and gratuitous sex.

• Language: English
• Publisher: TransGender Publishing (imprint of Castle Carrington Publishing)
• Release date: Nov 11, 2020
• ISBN: 9781777278069

Book preview

Chapter LXXXI

Chapter LXXXII

Chapter LXXXIII

Chapter LXXXIV

Chapter LXXXV

Chapter LXXXVI

About the Author

Other Publications

Author’s Note

I felt it was important to address the use of Japanese names in this novel. In Japan, family names are stated first, then the given name. Most people of Japanese descent who settle in North America adopt our system of a given name followed by family name. For the sake of preventing confusion, I have opted to follow the North American model, even for characters who are native Japanese speakers.

Content Warning: Extreme Violence, Explicit Sex, Profanity, Deadnaming of a Trans Character.

Cast of Characters

(in no particular order)

(Spoiler Warning: This is meant as a reference in case you

lose track of any characters while reading)

Izumi Yamakawa: A Japanese-Canadian woman working a crappy retail job at Oh Joy Toy Company. Unbeknownst to her, she is an ancestor to the founder of the Kagemusha. She has the taste buds of a five-year-old.

Maria Ottoman: A nerdy trans woman who likes anime and dinosaurs. She’s dating Izumi and seems to possess latent psychic powers. Despite a lack of training, she's decent in a fight.

Rhea Blackwood: A scary amazon woman who gives precisely zero fucks. She jumps between dimensions, and is currently going after a bounty on the Demon of Want. Sensible life choices are not her strong suite.

The Kagemusha: A Japanese demon hunting organization centred in Kyoto. They have branches the whole world over.

Yoshi: A two-foot tall, red Toad Demon who has consulted with the Kagemusha for centuries. He is supremely powerful and wields a primal blade, though his strength has been sealed in this dimension.

Nari Kobayashi: An extremely skilled swordswoman and elite Kagemusha operative. She is resentful of how her family positioned her brother within Kagemusha, and treated her as second best. This resentment has coloured her entire life and she has gained a reputation as cold and cruel.

Yuki Kobayashi: Nari’s younger brother, favoured by his family for success. He is noted for his relaxed and fluid fighting style, and his effeminate features.

Tom: An administrative assistant who works the front desk of the Canadian Kagemusha headquarters. He has an unrequited love interest in Nari. Despite his lack of physical skills and prowess, he is quite brave when the circumstances call for it.

Ken Hirono: A veteran of the Imperial Japanese army, and former Yakuza boss turned Kagemusha. He gained immortality upon defeating a cursed pharaoh. Kyoto assigned him to take leadership of the Canadian Kagemusha after Mr. Mori died.

Mr. Mori: The leader of the Canadian Kagemusha. He was working undercover as a manager at Oh Joy Toy. He used his ties to get Izumi a job as he had ambitions to bring the Yamakawa family back into the Kagemusha. He does not pay close attention to workplace safety guidelines.

Linda: An interdimensional time witch who promised servitude to the Demon of Want. She split into separate entities: her humanity presides in the realm of dreams, her darkness works as a manager at Oh Joy Toy.

Jimmy: Linda’s assistant. A perpetual ass-kisser who is way too enthusiastic about his job. He is in a symbiotic state of possession by Greyhos.

Greyhos: The Bear Demon from the realm of dreams. He turned on his own kind and became a servant to the Demon of Want. He can manipulate his own blood vessels and use them as appendages.

Christabel: A vampiric district manager for Oh Joy Toy.

The Lord of Song: The CEO of Oh Joy Toy. No one knows her true name, nor her motivations for running a toy company.

The Demon of Want: One of two cyclical demons. He entombed his own brother and conquered the Dream Realm. He can secrete a purple miasma that unlocks people’s deepest desires.

The Demon of Need: The other half of the two cyclical demons. He is trapped within a prison in the dream realm. He is the only entity capable of killing his brother.

Lord Goodman: A wraith with detached hands. He is the prison warden of the dream realm.

The Monarch of the Sea: An ocean deity in the dream realm. He conspires to overthrow the Demon of Want.

Patches: A cat and stereotypical mad scientist. She works against the Demon of Want because she has her own ambitions to conquer the Dream realm.

Sir Roloff: A fallen knight who was conscripted into the Royal Dragoons. He seeks to redeem himself by rebelling against the Demon of Want.

Amducias: A great demon horse and leader of The Devil Barons. He levied a bounty against the Demon of Want after some contracts were left unfulfilled.

Prologue

The creature dragged herself, bleeding out, through two feet of snow in the obscure backwoods of northern Ontario. She was stark naked and nearly human in appearance, with skin of pale green, six red eyes, a double set of limbs, and inky black hair that reached past her waist.

There was a soft crunch behind her, then another, and another, forming into the distinct sound of footsteps. She reached out with one gory stump of an arm and tried to pull herself towards the edge of a ravine. She slid face first, hit a bump, and tumbled down to the sharp ice below. She strained and convulsed from the pain before coughing up a glob of blood.

These were her hunting grounds. She had claimed this forest long before humankind walked upon two legs, stalked prey before the first peoples settled the surrounding land, and haunted the dreams of her victims before foreign men pitched their flags and claimed all they saw in the name of some far-off king. She had weaved her way into their folklore and myth. Queen of arachnids, mother of insects, and patron of all the writhing things that crawl amongst the dirt and filth, both wretched and resplendent upon her throne of webs. It was her that they told of in hushed whispers around the bonfire. Her with whom villagers had warned and threatened their children. To thy bed, they might say or Settle thee down and cease thy conniption, for else she may rise from the earth, usher forth her slimy legions, crawl about thy limbs, and taste thy flesh. For eons beyond what she could count, she had gone unchallenged.

The strangers that came tonight were different than any human she had ever laid eyes on before. They seemed to have slithered out from the very shadows of her nest, moving in unison, more silent than a spider spinning her web in a dusty corner. Their faces had shown not one moment’s hesitation, nor a flicker of revulsion towards her. They had only displayed a grim precise efficiency as their curved blades sliced through her skin. As she had tried to fight them, she was met with both their feet and fists in equal fury. Her retreat had not been graceful.

She couldn’t pinpoint any one incident that had brought them. As the local towns had spread out and started encroaching on her land, she had grown bolder, more territorial. Perhaps she had slaughtered one camper too many, or it had been that farmer who had wandered too close while looking for his missing sheep, maybe the child that she had drained of blood just a week ago. She chuckled between desperate gasps of air, realizing that it was futile to speculate now. Whatever it had been, she had gotten the strangers’ attention and now she was going to die on the ice of some nameless stream.

Snowflakes stung like blades against her skin, and the low whistling wind ripped as a torrent. Her breath grew more laboured, every exhalation more ragged than the last, and it mixed with the gurgling of fluids pooled in her throat.

She faintly heard the strangers approach until they were looming just above her. She stretched and craned her neck to perceive their shadowy forms. A woman stood, there light freckled skin, with a sharp face, and prominent cheekbones. Her black hair was tied in a tight bun, and she wore studded tactical armour with a crimson obi over a dark uniform. She was flanked by two men of similar attire, all with swords drawn.

The creature pushed herself up a little before stumbling. She forced some air into her lungs and brought herself up on trembling knees again.

The strangers raised their swords above their heads. Her voice booming, the woman declared, I am Nari Kobayashi of the Kagemusha, an executioner, and the blade of justice.

The creature reared back, muscle and sinew tightening, fingers stretched, and claws extending. Moving, as though a single unit, the strangers’ weapons sliced her clean through.

Chapter I

It was mid-June, and the heat of a muggy day was slowly receding with the setting sun. Distant clouds foretold a turbulent storm to come, but, in the meantime, Lake Ontario was placid. Its waves swept lazy patterns on the sandy shores. Ferro was an old port city, buried in the intrigues of local history though wholly unspectacular to the passing glance of an outsider.

Izumi Yamakawa was at an ice cream shop on the boardwalk. She had just finished paying and was waiting for her dessert. She was a Japanese-Canadian woman, not particularly tall or notably short, possessing a slim build. Her hair was dyed a deep blue, with a prominent undercut, and was completely brushed to the right side, falling a few inches below her shoulder. Her makeup and clothing all consisted of dark tones. She wore a spiked collar, leather bracelets, a skull t-shirt, and a mini-skirt, with fishnets, and combat boots.

With a Thanks, she reached out and grabbed her fluorescent blue ice cream from the person behind the counter. She went in for a lick.

You’re not actually gonna eat that are you? Maria Ottoman was standing behind her, holding her own cone, and gritting her teeth. She was a black trans girl, heavyset, with broad shoulders and thick highlighted hair that was bunched up in an elastic on top of her head. She wore a tank top with a pink heart on the chest, and a pair of torn off jean shorts.

What? Izumi’s tongue was just shy of touching the ice cream.

Don’t you ‘what’ me. You know exactly what I’m talking about. That blueberry bubblegum shit is nasty.

Izumi rolled her tongue over the ice cream before taking a huge bite off the top. She flashed a middle finger at Maria.

Ewwwwwwwww. Maria convulsed her shoulders in a fake shiver of disgust.

Yeah, yeah. Get fucked, bitch. Izumi retorted.

Back at ya, skank. Maria gave her a playful shove.

That’s some crap attitude considering that I’m the one paying. Izumi pushed her back.

Oh, I’m sorry, Miss. What was it, two weeks paid trauma leave? Maria licked her cone.

Yeah, two weeks that end tomorrow and was not substantial to the amount of anguish that I suffered. Izumi stepped out of the parlour and held the door.

Oh, fuck you. Maria stepped onto the boardwalk. You barely knew the guy.

Either way, I saw him die. I mean that was pretty fucked up.

Mmm hmm. Maria finished chewing a chunk of peanut butter chocolate that was in her ice cream. Tell me. Were you, or were you not, laughing at some dumb ass memes like five minutes ago.

Coping mechanism. Izumi walked towards the end of the boardwalk. You can’t begrudge me some reprieve when inside I’m naught but a pit of despair.

No, Miss Drama, inside you’re just plain full of shit. Maria leaned over the railing. Izumi wrapped an arm over her shoulder and they pulled together into a deep, tongue-filled kiss. It was the first Saturday in months that they were both off work: so, date night had seemed appropriate. They had spent a good chunk of the afternoon lazing around in bed and fucking, then went for dinner and a movie, and decided to finish up the night with a walk on the pier.

So. Maria bit into the waffle cone. How’d it go down anyway?

My boss dying?

Yeah. Maria nodded.

Izumi stretched her fingers out. Thought you didn’t want the details.

I only said that out of good taste. Maria shrugged. Like, I’m not supposed to pry with this kinda thing: but, fuck it. I’m curious.

Ok. Well, it was just me and my boss, Mr. Mori, working at the toy store. Izumi licked some melted ice cream from the back of her hand. We were setting up a display and he was standing on this really high wobbly ass stack of boxes. I even tried telling him that it didn’t look safe.

I bet he didn’t like hearing that. Maria laughed.

Of course not. Typical older guy, thinks he knows it all. Tells me I’m just fretting over nothing and insists that it’s perfectly safe. Izumi said.

And that’s when he fell? Maria asked.

"Exactly when he falls. Timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Just as he’s telling me it’s all cool, bam! Izumi slammed her hand on the railing. He gets impaled on this giant trident from the mermaid display."

Maria took the last bite of her cone. Where does his journal factor into all this?

I’m getting to that. So, as you might imagine, I was frozen to the spot. My brain just completely shut down for god knows how long, while his blood is literally dripping down my face. I finally come to when he starts talking. Well, more moans: but I can make out words. He’s telling me to grab his journal. I go to his side to see what I can do to help, I’m even calling nine-one-one: but, he wouldn’t stop bugging me about this goddamn journal. So, I finally relented and had to grab it. Izumi sunk down against the railing and let her head droop. And, then, the fucker goes and dies like two minutes after the paramedics showed up.

Shit! Maria patted Izumi’s back.

Yep. Izumi leaned into the railing, staring at the lights of the pier reflected amongst the rolling waves. A few quiet moments passed before she abruptly picked herself up and slapped Maria’s ass. Come on, I wanna check out Julie’s before it closes.

You aren’t curious about what I translated from his journal? Maria ran to catch up.

Well, yeah. After the big stink he made about it, I gotta know. Izumi didn’t turn back as she spoke.

"I worked most of it out. There were a few spots where I couldn’t read the more difficult kanji combinations. Maria grabbed onto Izumi’s hand. Honestly, I still think it would’ve been faster if you gave it to your parents."

Oh, it would’ve been, but I’m not a masochist, at least not when it comes to them. If I had asked them to translate it, they would’ve just given me another lecture about how I need to take the initiative and learn more about my cultural heritage. Then, they’d snowball it into how I’m a perpetual fuck up, and how I didn’t go to Miskatonic University like my perfect sister, and it would be this huge fucking thing.

Maria shrugged. I mean, your parents aren’t exactly wrong about the language and cultural heritage part.

Izumi climbed the stairs to the clothing shop. Here’s the difference. You’re an anime nerd. For you, learning Japanese is fun. For me, it’s just pressure from them and my creepy ass uncle.

You’re talking about the same creepy ass uncle that bought you a push-up bra for Christmas? Maria followed up the stairs behind her.

Yep, that’s the one. You know what he actually said to me? Izumi stopped on the landing. I don’t think I told you this part, but he said that I needed all the help I could get in the tits department if I wanted to land a guy. On the plus side, Dad hasn’t had him over since.

Jesus. Who says that about their niece, or anyone? Maria cringed.

Right. Izumi opened the door.

They entered a brightly lit thrift shop with pink walls covered in band posters. Maria made for the nearest t-shirt rack and started rifling through. Like I was saying, I got through most of Mr. Mori’s journal.

And? Izumi asked.

Dude was next level bat shit insane.

Izumi held a tank top against her chest to test the fit. Do I even wanna know?

Oh it’s a gem. He’s got pages and pages about the, Maria made air quotes with her fingers, ‘demons running Oh Joy Toy.’ And he’s not talking demons in the bureaucratic bullshit sense either. He meant literal demons.

That’s fantastic. Izumi laughed.

Oh, it gets better. Maria draped a skirt over her arm. Just to tick off every box in the delusions of grandeur checklist, he seemed to think he was some mighty slayer of demons.

Izumi checked out a pair of jeans. Guess I should count myself lucky that I’m not chained up in his basement with jumper cables to my nipples, getting interrogated, or some shit.

Maria chuckled. You know if you’re down for something completely stupid, and, let’s face it, you are usually down for stupid...

"Excuse me? Izumi crossed her arms.

Come on, that stunt you pulled at my mom’s place last Easter.

Izumi whipped around. No, no, no. We don’t bring that up. I was wasted on peach schnapps and porn stars.

I ain’t saying nothing else. Maria gathered up some clothes that she wanted to try on. I’m merely pointing out that you have been down for some ridiculous stuff in the past. So, if you’re feeling so inclined, we could, just for shits and giggles, check out his claims.

Izumi ran a hand over the shaved underside of her head and shrugged. Fine. Fuck it. I’m not doing anything else after work tomorrow. Let’s check it out.

Chapter II

Izumi worked at the Oh Joy Toy store on Melville Ave. It was a franchised location occupying a large two story building tucked into a plaza with a grocery store, a pizza place, and a Tim Hortons. The surrounding area was mostly suburban, with a large forested park.

Her shift began at five in the evening, and she was greeted by her new manager, Linda, in the science and discovery aisle. Linda had long, grey hair that was parted down the middle, deep wrinkles in her light skin, and wore a yellow sundress over her gaunt frame. In all, she would’ve appeared quite frail were it not for the vigour in her voice and the strength of her posture. She was reading from a clipboard when Izumi approached. Eye-zoo-my, is that how you pronounce your name?

Izumi suppressed an eye roll. Over her lifetime, she had gotten used to people mispronouncing her name. It’s more of a long E sound, ee-zoo-me. But, obviously, not chopped up like that. You say it all smoothly together.

Linda furrowed her brow. I can never pronounce these foreign words. Do you have a nickname? I had another oriental working for me years ago. I just called her Yum Yum.

Izumi felt her fists tighten. You’re not calling me Yum Yum.

Well, whatever, we need some sort of easier name and a fix to that attitude. We are here to focus on one thing, and one thing only, selling toys. Now, clearly, Mr. Mori did not instill that in you. So, I want you to stand, watch, and make mental notes while I up-sell that ugly dipshit over there. She pointed to a short, older man who was inspecting some toys on the end cap of an aisle.

Did you just call him a…

Less attitude, more observing. Linda slunk over behind the man, folded her hands together, and conjured forth a large toothy smile. May I help you?

The man made a startled jump. Oh, no. I’m fine. Just grabbing my grandson one of them Fossil-Man toys.

Hmmmm. I see. She leaned forward, bringing her face inches from his. And I suppose you already got him the side-kicks, and villains, and Gozo’s secret volcano lair?

No, no. I’m just getting him the one for now.

Linda stood up and cracked her fingers. I want to ask you something, and I’m going to put it as delicately as possible. Is it your intention to make your grandson a target?

The old guy swallowed. I’m not entirely sure that I follow.

Linda reached out and began grabbing other toys from the shelf. If you’re going to send the poor child to school with just one figure, you might as well give him a sign reading ‘bully me, I am a victim.’ It’s important that he shows dominance through a superior toy collection. She forced a large bundle of the action figures into the guy’s arms before pulling more from the shelf. I’ll make sure to get you started with these, and this...

By the time she was through, and despite his many feeble protests, Linda had sent the man off with over four hundred dollars of merchandise. This had set the tone for the rest of Izumi’s night. Linda made her observe as she bullied more customers into massive transactions. During slower periods of the night, she would quiz Izumi. What would you suggest as a birthday gift for a six year old boy?

I don’t know. Izumi’s eyes darted around until she landed on a nearby shelf. One of these toy dinosaurs.

No, no, no, no. Dinosaurs sell themselves. Same with LEGO or any of those other things. She leaned her face close to Izumi. Do you know what I would suggest?

Ummm. Izumi bit her lip. No clue.

An abacus.

Izumi laughed.

"Is this funny to you?" Linda’s eye twitched, and she let her nasty breath seep into Izumi’s nostrils.

No. It’s just, what six year old wants an abacus? We aren’t living in 24 BC.

Linda pulled herself back to her full height. Suggesting something like an abacus shows that you put thought into things. It’s an educational toy, appropriate to a child beginning their education.

It’s also the kind of thing that’s gonna collect dust in the back of their closet. Izumi said.

Linda snorted. Well, that’s the kinda sales pitch that parents eat up. Besides, somebody ordered too many and I want them outta here.

By the time that closing, cleaning, and the final counts were finished, Izumi was racing for the door. Linda stopped her just short. She lay her hands on Izumi’s shoulders and dug her fingers in. I realize that tonight must’ve seemed overwhelming, but I don’t want you to think of your young age or inexperience as a hurdle. You are the perfect age that I can groom you into a respectable and proper woman. Perhaps we can even get you past this tacky goth phase you have going on.

Izumi didn’t even bother arguing: she just wanted to get out. She gave a quick nod and wished Linda a good night.

As horrible as job hunting was, Izumi was contemplating it. She had experienced a fucked-up night and found herself wondering what deep gaping hellhole of a ditch had spewed Linda forth.

Chapter III

Izumi met Maria a block away from work. Since she couldn’t borrow her parent’s car that night, they had to take a bus. They rode to the downtown core then grabbed a connecting route. Izumi relayed the events of her shift.

Maria was on the seat beside her, playing with the clasps of her backpack. Jesus Christ, the woman sounds like an HR nightmare.

I didn’t even know how to respond to half the stuff she was saying. It was like watching someone take a series of violent shits all over an outta control dumpster fire.

The bus passed the boardwalk and followed the road along the edge of the lakeshore, rounding the bay, and chugging up an elevated slope of rocky land. They finally got off at a lonely crossroads. Maria pulled a pair of flashlights from her knapsack, and they ventured through the brume, following an overgrown path into the twisting woods. After a short time, they reached an old wrought iron gate bearing the plaque Lakeshore Cemetery. With some exerted effort, they pushed their way through, causing the ancient hinges to grate and groan.

Despite its remote location and deep disarray, the cemetery was kept lit by a series of lanterns. Izumi and Maria stuck to the main path, occasionally stealing glances to the side and the seemingly endless rows of tombstones. Towards the centre, they passed the Carver family sepulchre, which stood monolithic, illuminated by hundreds of candles and buried in trinkets and sigils.

I think it’s down this way. Maria pointed to a diverging cobble path on the right.

Sure. Cool. Izumi followed close behind her. Nothing creepy about this.

You like graveyards.

Graveyards, yeah. Not the men’s room in an isolated graveyard on the edge of town. Are you sure this is where Mori said his hideout is?

Very sure. Maria stepped around a jutting stone. His diary was very explicit in naming this site.

Bet you anything he just came out here for his weird hookups.

Guess we’re about to find out. The beam of Maria’s light landed on the facade of a small brick building. It had a flat roof and frosted glass windows above its two doors. Maria turned the handle on the men’s room, but it wouldn’t open. Gotta be fuckin’ kidding me. She put her shoulder to it and pushed harder but to no avail.

We came this far, might as well do some property damage. Izumi picked up a heavy stone in one hand. She slammed it into the handle, popping some screws loose. She smashed it a few more times before it came clattering down. She pulled out her pocket knife, flipped the blade open, and slipped it into the inner mechanisms of the door. After a few moments, she managed to slide the bolt out of place.

The door swung inwards and exhaled the stale smell of caked on urine and mold. The lights flickered to life revealing walls stained yellow and smeared with graffiti and filth. There was a dingy counter with two sinks and a damaged mirror. Three urinals lined the back wall with a single stall in the left corner.

Izumi clenched her fingers and gritted her teeth. This place looks like every fucking bathroom in Silent Hill.

Well, your hook up theory might be right. Maria pointed to the side of the stall. Looks like there’s a glory hole.

Ewwww, it totally is. This has gotta be the grossest place to suck dick. Don’t tell me that we gotta shove something in there to activate the secret entrance.

No, it’s umm... Maria removed her backpack and rummaged around inside. She pulled out a thick leather journal and flipped it open. It says last urinal, near the counter, there’s a button on the bottom left.

Izumi approached the urinal but quickly turned away and retched. A writhing horde of maggots were feeding on a dead mouse inside the bowl. She stood up tall and swallowed. I swear to every single god, there had better be some kind of button and secret entrance here or else I am gonna strangle you. This place is nasty as fuck.

Fine, whatever. Just check it.

Izumi closed her eyes tight and felt around under the urinal. Damn, there totally is a button.

Seriously!? Maria did a small bounce.

Whoa there! You wanna curb the enthusiasm for a moment. For all we know, it might just flood us with a bunch of gross ass water. Izumi hovered her finger over the button before depressing it. There was a click and a mechanical whirring. Izumi stepped back as the bricks in the wall began to turn inwards and rearrange. The urinal slid up the length of its pipes and shifted away creating a makeshift entrance. Izumi peered ahead and could perceive a deep stone tunnel lit by hanging lamps. Well, shit! Wasn’t expecting that. You think we should actually go down?

Well, duh. Maria pushed by and poked her head into the pit.

Oh, my god. Izumi chuckled. This is like your total nerd girl fantasy, isn’t it?

Not the gross bathroom part but, otherwise, yeah. This is totally shaping up to be awesome.

Chapter IV

The first stretch of the tunnel ended in an abrupt drop. They leaned over, saw that it wasn’t very deep, then climbed their way down.

What the hell do you think he keeps down here anyway? The journal was pretty vague on that. Maria shone her flashlight beam down the next bit of tunnel. It curved underneath the path they had just taken.

I don’t know. He probably has some extensive collection of old guy porn here. Izumi wiped some dust from the front of her shirt.

You think he was hoarding videos full of old guys fucking?

Maybe. Though I just meant anything that old dudes might jerk off to. I bet you anything it’s like a bunch of incest and bestiality, probably a sprinkling of necrophilia for variety. I bet he was ferociously whacking off down here. Izumi sat down on the edge of another pit and let herself slide down to the awaiting ground.

Maria followed after her with a bit of a thud. Well, you’re fucking gross, and I’m noticing something of a preoccupation with this guy’s sex life.

Izumi followed the row of dim lights. Not a preoccupation, more like preparing myself for any fucked up shit we might see.

Maria ducked below a low spot in the ceiling. Methinks she doth protest too much.

Methinks you can bite me, bitch.

They reached an area of pitch blackness where even their flashlights were of little use. The two women took it slow, feeling their way along the damp rock walls.

Maria’s fingers glided over a spot of moss. This tunnel is crazy long. It feels like we should be walking under the lake by now.

I was thinking that too.

A speck of light glimmered in the distance, growing larger with each advancing step. As they neared, they could make out a cavernous room carved in the rock. At the far end was an enormous steel door. They had barely stepped into the light when it began to slide upwards. Mist swirled and poured forth from the opening.

A loud voice, deep and rumbling, commanded them, Halt! Take not one step further. A shadow emerged amongst the fog. They heard the sound of steel scraping and a sword slashing through air. You have entered the realm of the Kagemusha. Identify yourself or face my blade.

Oh, my god. Maria’s eyes widened as the figure stepped into view. He was a red toad with bulbous yellow eyes. He stood on two legs, garbed in wide pants under a kimono, with an additional open robe worn over top like a jacket. He held his katana out, ready to strike. Maria released a squeal of delight. That is the cutest thing ever!

I am not cute. The toad squared his shoulders, trying to make the most of his one foot height. He pointed the tip of his sword toward them. Now answer. Who are you that dares tread in this place?

I’m Maria Ottoman. She couldn’t wipe the