This Isn't 40

By Scott Caan

Jimmy is a semi-successful artist and playboy approaching middle age, when he decides it's time to step up and try love maybe before it's too late. He meets Rose, she's different in all the right ways. The head on her shoulders and her family values juxtaposed with Jimmy's childhood trauma and lack of family values makes for a potent match. But unexpectedly, with in the first year of the romance, she gets pregnant things get all too real, too quickly. The complexities of making a new relationship work, while raising a small child, ultimately tear them apart.

Donnie, Jimmy's closest friend, is going through a divorce that almost takes him down. After a long indecisive battle, he somehow makes it through, gets in shape, and with the help of modern technology makes a solid run at reliving his twenties. He pulls Jimmy along with him, forcing him into a date with a young, sharp and fierce gal named Binky, who basically ends up taking Jimmy to school. A night of sex, drugs, and a near-death experience lands Jimmy right back at square one, only now with a deep and painful longing for the family he started and subsequently walked away from.

This Isn't 40 explores the changing times for men and women, the effects of childhood cautionary tales, and the choices we make for the next generation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rare Bird Books
• Release date: Oct 13, 2020
• ISBN: 9781644281796

Book preview

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This is a Genuine Rare Bird Book

Rare Bird Books

453 South Spring Street, Suite 302

Los Angeles, CA 90013

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Copyright © 2020 by Scott Caan

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever, including but not limited to print, audio, and electronic. For more information, address:

Rare Bird Books Subsidiary Rights Department,

453 South Spring Street, Suite 302,

Los Angeles, CA 90013.

Set in Dante

epub isbn

: 9781644281796

Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication Data

available on request

Contents

ACT ONE

SCENE 1

SCENE 2

SCENE 3

ACT TWO

SCENE 4

SCENE 5

ACT THREE

SCENE 6

CAST OF CHARACTERS

ROSE, early thirties

JIMMY, late thirties–early forties

DONNIE, late thirties–early forties

BINKI, early twenties

MONICA, early twenties

SETTINGS

Jimmy’s Living Room

PRODUCTION NOTES

The entire play takes place at night, except the very last scene, and spans over a seven-year period. Lights, wardrobe, and wigs inform change in time. There should not be an intermission. Slick and seamless set changes are okay during blackouts between scenes. For example, Jimmy might remove art from the walls and replace them with paintings that his daughter may have painted. There should not be any visible set hands on stage during the performance. Anything that happens should be live on stage, and handled by the cast as the characters in the play.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Bob, Kathleen, Bre, Val, Mia, Marley, and Mathew.

ACT ONE

SCENE 1

It’s night time. Open floor plan. Living room flows into the kitchen and dining area. Small bar, up right. Nice Place.

Artists home. Books on shelves, no television, paintings on the walls. Comfortable but modern and nothing out of place. Could be a living room, or the show room of a furniture store. But done right. Very sexy and tasteful.

JIMMY enters with ROSE. She wears a BBQ-soiled shirt.

JIMMY

Don’t move. I’ll be right back.

ROSE

Okay.

Jimmy heads for a door, up left, but then stops and turns back.

JIMMY

Feel free to move.

ROSE

What?

JIMMY

You don’t have to stay frozen in time.

ROSE

Got it. Thanks.

He exits.

Rose takes off the BBQ-soiled shirt revealing skin and bra. She places the shirt on a chair and moves around the room taking in the details.

Jimmy steps back out holding a vintage Harley-Davidson T-shirt. Rose doesn’t bother covering herself. Jimmy, frozen by the site moves forward nonetheless.

JIMMY

Wow.

ROSE

Sorry.

JIMMY

No. Please. Here. Try this.

She takes a look at the shirt he brought out, holds it up, and smiles.

ROSE

Thanks.

Rose puts the shirt on while Jimmy grabs the dirty shirt, folds it, and sets it back down.

JIMMY

I had a really good time tonight.

ROSE

I did, too.

JIMMY

Sorry about the little accident.

ROSE

You made her nervous.

JIMMY

The waitress?

ROSE

Yes. The waitress.

JIMMY

I didn’t make her nervous.

He moves for a Record Player that rests on the credenza.

ROSE

She spilled an entire plate of BBQ wings on my head.

JIMMY

She handles food for a living. Mistakes happen.

He spins a record, then moves back over to her.

ROSE

Not like that they don’t. Trust me. I know. You make women nervous.

JIMMY

What can I say?

ROSE

You’re charming.

Jimmy dims the lights a bit.

JIMMY

No. You’re charming. The way you handled it. You could have made her feel horrible about the whole thing and you didn’t. Says a lot.

ROSE

My mother was a waitress. Bunch of kids. Lotta work.

I understand.

JIMMY

I see.

ROSE

You?

JIMMY

Methadone addict.

ROSE

Excuse me?

JIMMY

My mother. Just kidding. Sort of.

Jimmy lights a few candles.

ROSE

I meant do you have any siblings?

JIMMY

Ah. No. Just me. Both