Brenda's Wish: A True Story of Faith, Family and the Testament of Love

By Jackie Haley

BRENDA'S WISH: A True Story of Faith, Family and the Testament of Love, is a unique story of Brenda Schmitz, a cancer-stricken wife and mother who, in the few precious months left, wrote a letter to a local radio station and asked a friend to deliver it when the time was right: when her husband David found a new wife to help raise their four boys.

Two years later after Brenda passes away, David hears the words of his late wife for the first time and receives an incredible wish from the radio station. It's an incredible display of love, loss, faith and hope, and shows one remarkable woman's selfless acts to help her family grieve and move on after her passing.

Keep tissue near as you journey through the dramatic stage 4 cancer diagnosis, a mother's determined fight for her family, a community united, a husband's paralyzing grief turned resilience, and inexplicable reaffirmations of love, guardianship and wonder from the afterlife.

After the emotional Christmas wish interview was picked up by the evening local news, it went viral. Days later, David had 42,000 friend requests, along with 440 media contacts from Good Morning America, The Today Show, Ellen DeGeneres, The View, countless writers, and other major networks. The radio station received 13 full-size mailbags with letters addressed to David Schmitz.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookPress Publishing
• Release date: Oct 1, 2020
• ISBN: 9781947305175

Book preview

CEO

1

Chapter

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

—Psalm 46:1

____________________

Brenda Schmitz counted to ten, then took a deep breath, tapping her clear-coated nails on the #1 MOM coffee mug she had gotten for Christmas last year. The kitchen was quiet for one solitary minute and she was taking in every second. It was early enough that the winter sun had not made its appearance yet. Upstairs, she began to hear Cameron, Josh, and Justin stir, making their beds and getting ready for the day. They were old enough to get ready on their own, unlike Max. He had just turned one and she didn’t want to move until she heard his cry and had to get him.

The kitchen was Brenda’s favorite room of their four-bedroom townhome in Ankeny, Iowa. It was contemporary in style with beige walls, medium dark wood cupboard doors, and simple brushed-nickel hardware. The beloved granite countertops shimmered with flecks of browns, black, and the same beige color as the walls. A red plate with YOU’RE SPECIAL written around its edge sat on a decorative stand. It was the family’s celebration plate used for birthday breakfasts. Brenda loved to make a birthday breakfast to start off someone’s special day. In her eyes, it was one of the best of their many family traditions.

Additional counter space stretched out from the wall with two black wooden bar stools to add seating. This added plenty of extra space that Brenda often used. If it wasn’t for making dinner, it hosted the boys’ latest science or art project. She loved to help them with it and made sure they took pride in their work. It felt good to use her design degree every once in a while. Her career as a project manager at the printing company didn’t offer many opportunities to use her creative side and she missed it. Fortunately, her stepsons Josh and Justin both shared her passion for art and the three often worked on things together.

Four boys created a crazy, cluttered mess that was an ongoing challenge to keep clean. She glanced at a sign by the sink that read: Thank GOD for dirty dishes, they have a story to tell. While others may go hungry, we’re eating very well. Its message helped to calm her whenever she got stressed from all of the disorder. But, today brought a different type of uneasiness.

She sucked in more air. One, two, three…Why won’t this pain go away? It’s been over two weeks. She was out of ideas. The doctor said she was constipated and needed to get her system cleaned out. Coffee would help along with the instructed two enemas a day she was to give herself. She took another sip from her mug and as the hot liquid went down, another sharp, stabbing pain came with fury. She winced and started counting again.

Mom, I can’t find my socks! Cameron, her eldest, yelled from the top of the stairs.

They’re in the laundry basket, honey. I’ll get them, Brenda said. Mustering her strength, she prepared herself for the painful lift from the kitchen chair just as a gentle hand set on her shoulder.

I’ll get them, her husband David said.

She looked up at him. Thank you.

She felt another stab in her abdomen but forcibly held her calm expression until he left the room. This one was bad. She whimpered a little, then took another sip of coffee while she counted. One more minute alone in the kitchen for her to rest. There has to be an answer for this.

David returned shortly with little Max. His beautiful blue eyes shined when he saw her. She felt so blessed in that moment as David looked down, grinning at Max’s excitement for his mommy. Then the painful stab came again. Her eyes closed as she turned her head.

Brenda, you can’t keep going on like this. He sat down next to her. Why don’t you see a new doctor?

Brenda counted again in her head. She knew he was right. For this much frequent pain, there was something more going on with her.

Why don’t you see your gynecologist or something? David continued. The pain is so low, maybe she’ll know something. Brenda could see the worry in his eyes, but she couldn’t speak for fear of screaming. She nodded.

***

Two more days passed before Brenda could get an appointment with her gynecologist. Maybe the doctor could explain why she had to go to the bathroom more often. Sometimes Brenda couldn’t even hold it. It was something she had never experienced before. She also wasn’t eating as much because she felt full much faster, yet she had a weight gain she couldn’t explain.

Thankfully it was Christmas break and the boys didn’t have to go to school. They had just celebrated Christmas with both her mom and David’s parents earlier that week. On days outside of break, Cameron would drive himself to Ankeny High School. He was a senior this year. David usually took Max to daycare in Ankeny, then Josh to Dowling Catholic High School and Justin to Holy Trinity Middle School, both in Des Moines, a fifteen-minute drive from their home. Sometimes their extended family would help out, which was a blessing, but today the boys could stay home and take care of Max while David went with Brenda.

On the drive over, the air was crisp and Brenda admired the fresh fallen snow and frost that had formed around the passenger side window overnight. She thought about the prior night’s dinner and the boys’ latest debate over their rival schools. Dowling Catholic High School often played Ankeny High School, so the family was now a house divided on sporting events. Brenda would often defend Cameron’s Ankeny Hawks, which was often challenged by Josh and David, pledging their loyalty to the Dowling Maroons. Brenda had won the last comeback that left everyone laughing. The reward was the last giant cookie on the plate. Of course, she claimed she was full and split it among the boys. The memory made her smile, but then the familiar stabbing pain erased it. She looked down, hoping to hide her pain from David.

Okay, Brenda, you’re going to get to the bottom of this, she said to herself. You’re going to find out what’s wrong, fix it, and get back to life. She ran through her checklist of things she needed to do that day, which was an endless list as most mothers have. It occupied the remainder of time it took to get to the doctor’s office and into the examination room.

I’ve got to catch up on work, get laundry done, pick up milk, and figure out supper; maybe pork chops tonight, she thought, as she slipped on the flimsy, white gown that seemed to match the walls and everything else in the sterile room. There was no color present except for pamphlets in the display case regarding women’s anatomy and birth control information. David seemed to ignore all of that as he took a seat in the corner of the examination room. They quietly waited for the doctor to come in while Brenda concentrated on distracting herself from the pain.

Soon the door opened. Hello, Brenda. What do we have going on today? Brenda’s gynecologist for years, offered a warm smile.

Brenda looked at David, then took in a deep breath. Well, I’ve been having these sharp stabbing pains in my abdomen area for over two weeks. My primary doctor thinks it might be diverticulitis, or I’m constipated, so he prescribed stool softeners and now I’m giving myself enemas, but nothing seems to be working. This is more than constipation. I’ve been doing everything I can, but it… She sucked in another breath.

David got up to stand by her and looked at the doctor. The pain is getting worse and more constant, he finished.

Well, let’s have a look here, she said, pulling over a stool as Brenda lay back on the exam room table.

Oh my goodness, the doctor said as she lifted Brenda’s gown. How long have you been this distended? The lower part of her stomach had been swollen, but Brenda struggled to think of answers.

About two weeks or so, she guessed.

We need to get you to the hospital for a scan as soon as you can. There is an abnormal mass here.

The sound of the doctor’s voice was calm, yet concerned. Brenda watched as the woman examined her. She tensed up as the doctor put pressure on different areas of her abdomen. Recently, Brenda had noticed a bruising on her lower left side. She could tell the doctor was focusing on that area for a few minutes.

Did you fall at any time?

Brenda shook her head, holding her breath from the last stabbing pain.

The doctor lowered the gown and looked at her. She gently placed her hand on Brenda’s arm.

Brenda, this may possibly be a tumor, she said.

David froze. Brenda could feel him squeezing her hand harder with each word the doctor said.

It’s okay, David. We don’t know anything for sure yet, Brenda said. The doctor agreed and left with her assistant to get an appointment set at Mercy Hospital in Des Moines, twenty minutes from their home in Ankeny.

Brenda was silent as she got dressed, but her mind was reeling. She refused to let this news get the best of her. At the same time, she was frustrated she didn’t come see her gynecologist sooner; a lesson learned. She trusted her gynecologist and knew she could recommend the right doctors who could get to the bottom of this soon. David was back in his seat as she dressed, but he looked like a statue with unmoving eyes that stared at her. He didn’t say anything and the silence was entirely too loud for her.

I’m thinking pork chops tonight. What do you think?

David nodded, shaking himself out of a trance.

Good, I’ll pull them out of the freezer when we get home, she said. Not able to think of anything else, her mind flashed to her children. Cameron was seventeen, the oldest and from her prior marriage. He was turning eighteen in three weeks and she still couldn’t believe how fast time flew with him. He had the best heart. She was so glad that David and Cameron had a good relationship. Josh was fourteen and Justin was eleven, both from David’s previous marriage. That never mattered to Brenda. She loved them like her own and, at that stage in their life, she felt blessed to be a mother figure to them. In what seemed like seconds, the door opened again. David reached for her hand.

I have an appointment set for you with Dr. Scott Carlson, her doctor said. You’ll have some tests first, then meet after they get the results. The appointment is in an hour. Will that work for you?

Brenda nodded. David was still silent, but he never let go of her hand. She looked at him, trying to read his thoughts. His face was expressionless except for his eyes. Anxiety was at the front of his mind. You ready to go? She squeezed his hand gently. We don’t want to be late.

He nodded once and held the door for her.

***

The car ride over to Mercy was the longest twenty minutes David had ever felt. The What If? game tormented his mind. Brenda was right; we don’t know anything for sure yet, he sought to reassure himself. He took a deep breath but tried not to be obvious. Next, with every mile closer to the hospital, he felt a wave of anger coming over him. Why does Brenda have to deal with this? Why not him? His heart grew heavy, but he internalized everything for Brenda’s sake. It was difficult and he wasn’t sure how to cope, but he had to.

He couldn’t understand how his wife was so calm. Was she freaking out on the inside like he was? He glanced over at her as much as he could without driving them off of the road. She had a vacant stare out the windshield. She didn’t seem sad, mad, or even confused. Her face looked…normal. What’s going on in her head right now? What could I say to comfort her?

Brenda, he finally said.

Yeah, she replied, seeming to shake herself back to reality.

Whatever this is, we’ll figure this out together. I will do anything to help you.

Brenda smiled at her husband. I know, thank you. She squeezed his free hand as his left one tightly gripped the steering wheel.

***

Brenda worked hard not to think of the worst as she looked out the window at the dreary day. The car needed to warm up sooner, she thought. The December air and blustery eleven degrees outside made it one of the first days she could see her own breath. Just a few days earlier, it was above freezing and they were all having a great time celebrating Christmas at her mom’s place in assisted living. Those days now felt a million miles away. A deep chill reached her bones and she didn’t know if it was due to the weather or the uncertainty from the doctor. She shoved those thoughts away and let her mind wander to a few months earlier.

It was September then, and much warmer. To Brenda, September was a time of beautiful fall leaves, football, and her famous chili that the boys craved every day. It wasn’t that long ago when the boys played tackle football in the front yard with their dad. Of course, Brenda would scold David for letting them get too rough, but they all laughed and she couldn’t suppress her joy. She sat on the porch swing, watching the game and holding Max. His eyes beamed at her as she tickled his little belly until the most adorable baby giggle would escape. Brenda laughed with him. Then, she would sing their song to him. He loved Over the Rainbow.

A sharp pain immediately brought her back to the present and she spent the rest of the ride silently counting.

***

Mercy Hospital had been in Des Moines for over one hundred years. The main lobby was underwhelming with its tile floors and walls lined with plaques of stakeholders and portraits of past presidents. A sterile smell hung in the air. Although there was an effort to make the facility more inviting and warm with the addition of contemporary artwork and furniture, David still felt cold.

After checking a directory on the wall, David found the elevator and pushed the button for the eighth-floor. He glanced over at Brenda as she clenched her teeth, working through her latest stabbing pain. A tear escaped his eye as he held her close, but he casually wiped it away, not to draw her attention. Anxiety flooded over him as he thought about the tests. The fear of the unknown had been eating at him ever since the gynecologist appointment. The elevator dinged for their floor and he couldn’t wait to get away from the easylistening music. It was supposed to be calming but seemed to have the opposite effect on him.

Hello, Brenda said to the young brunette at the nurse’s station. I’m Brenda Schmitz, here for a biopsy and a scan.

The young girl fumbled around the paperwork for a brief moment and found Brenda’s file. She glanced at the notes, looked up at her, and smiled nervously. It looked like her first day.

Yes, Mrs. Schmitz. Let’s get you in, she said as she walked around the nurse’s station to escort them. Right this way.

Before Brenda followed, she turned to David. I think I’ve got it this time. Why don’t you wait here for me.

David was surprised. Are you sure?

I’m sure, she said as she placed her hand on his cheek. I’ll be in and out.

David gave her a peck before retreating to the closest seat in the waiting room. He sat there, baffled as to why she didn’t want him with her. He prayed. It was the first moment past shock that he was able to really reach out to God.

Dear God, please be with Brenda right now. She needs you. Keep watch over our family as we help her through this obstacle. I pray that she doesn’t have something serious. Please let this be something we can overcome. I don’t know what I’d do without her. Be there for her, please, please, please…

He thought about a Bible verse he memorized back in Sunday school.

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. It was Psalm 56:3.

Unable to come up with more words outside of begging, David picked up a random magazine on the end table next to his chair and absently flipped through its pages. He barely focused on any of the words. Then he crossed a page that included Healing in the header. He stopped and perused the article just long enough to determine it was about how to heal after losing someone. He quickly put the magazine down and picked up another one on parenting. He prayed more while robotically flipping through the magazine, refusing to give any attention to the words on the page. He had learned his lesson.

The door opened and an elderly patient with a walker came out. David checked his watch. It had been an hour. In that time he had watched eleven patients leave the office. What was taking so long?

He shifted in his seat, scanning the room. There were three other patients waiting for their turn. One was a mother with her daughter in cute, blond, curly pigtails. He guessed the girl was around four years old. She showed her mom a picture of a fish she colored. Her mother complimented her talents and she beamed. David thought about how different it would have been if their little Max had been a girl. It was the only name he and Brenda agreed on. They would have named her Madison. But Max was their blessing and he couldn’t imagine his life without him. Little Max brought an entirely new joy to their home and he was thankful.

The proud girl showed David her drawing of the fish and David too smiled and told her what a good job she did. Then the door opened and Brenda walked out, thanking the brunette nurse on her way out. David was at her side in a second.

How’d it go? he asked.

Brenda shrugged her shoulders. We won’t know anything until tomorrow. We have an appointment at two o’clock, she said. "That means we have to lean on your sister again or someone else to pick