Getting By

By Jaire Sims

Carver Goodman dreams of becoming a photographer; but first he needs to graduate from high school. He spends his junior year worried about the same things that affect his peers—things like taking the ACT, bullying, and falling in love for the first time—but Carver's situation is a bit different, because h e's beginning to suspect that he's gay. As he struggles to understand himself in terms of his sexuality and how he fits into the world, he learns a lot about who he is and finds the strength to overcome the challenges life throws his way.

Getting By is a touching and poignant coming-of-age novel that will resonate with any person who has ever felt like he doesn't quite fit.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Aug 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781734860818

Book preview

Published by: BookBaby

https://www.bookbaby.com

Editor: Rosemi Mederos

Book design and production: BookBaby

Copyright © 2020 by Jaire Malik Sims

All rights reserved. No part of this publication, except for brief quotations embodied in reviews or for other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law, may be reproduced, stored in retrieval systems, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without written permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication Data

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

PRAISE FOR

Getting By

by Jaire Sims

Sims cultivates the ability to present a multifaceted young personality on the cusp of various types of changes and confrontations in life. In creating a talented, aspiring young man who is facing both the pinnacle of success and some of his greatest personal challenges for building a different future goal, Jaire Sims goes far beyond getting by with stereotypical scenarios and approaches.

—Diane Donovan

Senior Book Reviewer

Midwest Book Review

"Sims delicately paints a portrait of his character, Carver, a young man who seems just as normal as any other kid in a crowded high school hallway. As Carver encounters the love and hatred of youth, Sims invites his readers to discover a deeply sensitive and complex character’s inner world. Getting By reminds us to pause and look closer at the intersection of our identities to discover who we truly are."

—Cara Boardman

Educator, Trainer, Developer

Wiley Education Services

"Getting By illuminates the intersections of race, gender, sexuality and ability and contributes a unique voice to the landscape of YA literature in need of queer Black male protagonists. There are far too many young readers whose lives aren’t reflected in the journeys of characters who resemble themselves. In Getting By, Carver, recently diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, struggles to accept and embrace his sexuality as he navigates the lower tiers of the high school social hierarchy and the bullying that accompanies the denunciation of unspoken rules prescribed for the socially acceptable performance of Black masculinity."

—Trudi K. Peterson PhD

Professor, Chair, Communications Studies Coordinator

Women’s Studies Program - Monmouth College

"A wonderful, brutally frank, and moving young adult novel. Very few first time authors are able to dig as deeply as Jaire Sims has dug into his unusually challenging youth as a Black man different from most others. Reminded me of the 2016 Oscar-winning film Moonlight."

—Michael R. French

Award-Winning Young Adult Novelist

Author of Anyone Can Run, She Said

Sims breathes life into a complex figure who is both refreshingly unique yet intimately familiar, managing to deftly and artistically capture both the innocent vitality of youth and also the strains and struggle of coming of age as a minority. The character invites us to empathize and connect; essential qualities that are especially relevant in an age of division.

—Steven Millard, MAT

CME Manager, Center for Continuing Medical Education

The University of Chicago Biological Sciences

& The Pritzker School of Medicine

"Getting By creates a familiar and believable world of high school as many of us will remember it. Jaire’s main character, Carver, is developed with a richness and empathy that makes the reader want to root for him to succeed in overcoming the obstacles created by those who don’t understand his inherent value. As Carver learns to cope with being different from the typical adolescent male, he navigates the complexities of high school, makes friends, confronts serious challenges and engages a social world that is difficult and strange to him. I recommend this book to any young reader who is interested in seeing high school through a different set of eyes."

—Lee McGaan, Professor Emeritus

Department of Communication Studies

Monmouth College

Contents

Chapter 1: The Meeting

Chapter 2: Dangerous Path

Chapter 3: A Promise Kept

Chapter 4: Inspired

Chapter 5: The Dance

Chapter 6: Reality Check

Chapter 7: Giving Thanks

Chapter 8: Birthday

Chapter 9: Feelings Show

Chapter 10: Something More

Chapter 11: New Beginnings

Chapter 12: Snow

Chapter 13: Valentine’s Day

Chapter 14: Study Date

Chapter 15: Memories

Chapter 16: Tour

Chapter 17: ACT

Chapter 18: Confession

Chapter 19: Speak

Chapter 20: Payback

Chapter 21: Goodbye

Epilogue: One Year Later

Chapter 1: The Meeting

I looked up and saw a beautiful, red maple leaf falling gracefully off a tree branch above me. I wanted this leaf for my collection of autumn leaves so that I could make my own autumn leaf scrapbook. It was a beautiful morning. The birds were chirping, the air was cool yet refreshing, and the sunbeams shined beautifully on the leaves as it peeked through the branches that obscured the clear skies above. I carried my leaves in a small, white paper bag while walking along a tree-lined pathway in a park a short distance from my house on the south side of Chicago. The pathway was lightly coated with fallen leaves covering the base of each tree. The leaves were in their full autumn colors, creating a picturesque setting on the pathway. Every year the entire park looked scenic in the autumn when the leaves luminously adorned the landscape with their vibrant colors reflecting under the warm sunlight.

When the leaf fell closer to me, I stood on top of a park bench and reached out my right hand. A few seconds later, I cradled the leaf and put it inside my bag before stepping off the bench. I could hear the endless sounds of leaves rustling in the wind as they swayed busily on their branches. More leaves fell when the wind picked up. As it did, I closed my eyes and listened as the leaves on the ground moved around me. Then I smelled the crisp air of the park as the wind blew on my face. There was no one around me on the pathway. It was only me, the trees, and the bustling wind.

It was the third week of October, my favorite month of the year. Not only was October part of the most beautiful season of the year, but I was also born this month. I had just turned seventeen, and despite nearly reaching adulthood, I was able to find my inner child by enjoying the simplicities of nature around me. I put the bag of leaves inside my backpack before pulling out my camera. I took several pictures of the pathway from different angles around me. Once I finished, I hopped back on my bike and continued on my way to school.

While enjoying my steady ride through the park, I stopped pedaling when I noticed a mama duck and her adorable ducklings at a pond. Ducks were one of my favorite animals, so I grabbed my camera again and took a moment to take a few pictures of the ducks frolicking near a water fountain. A vivid rainbow could be seen from the water droplets that spewed out of the fountain. I gazed at the ducks for a few more seconds before leaving the pond and then the park.

Upon arriving at school, I locked my bike before entering the building through the main entrance. In the hallway, I glanced at the school’s analog clock while walking to my locker. It was 7:55 a.m. I had five minutes before my first period class. I grabbed my binder from my locker before proceeding to the computer lab. As I walked to class, my guidance counselor, Mr. Williams, stepped out of the main office and observed the half-crowded hallway. Then he spotted me.

Morning, Carver, Mr. Williams greeted.

My eyes focused on him. Morning, I said with a half-smile.

Carver, may I talk to you for a moment? Mr. Williams asked urgently. It’s important.

I stopped walking and looked at Mr. Williams with indecision.

I promise you won’t be late for class, he assured. I walked over to Mr. Williams and stood next to him in front of the office.

Carver, do you have to be somewhere immediately after school today?

Ummm, no, I said, shaking my head. I didn’t like where Mr. Williams was going with this conversation. The last thing I wanted to do was stay in school more than I was required to.

Do you think we could have a small talk in my office after school? I want to chat with you about something that I think needs to be discussed.

Okay, I said.

Good. Can you stop by my office at 3:45?

Sure, no problem.

Great. That’s all I needed to know. I’ll see you later after school, okay?

I nodded and continued on my way to class. I pondered over what I could have done to have Mr. Williams arrange a meeting after school. I didn’t suspect that I was in trouble as far as my conduct or grades were concerned, so it couldn’t have been something too upsetting. I decided to not think about the matter. There was no need for me to feel unsettled so early in the day.

My first class was advisory. During advisory, teachers individually gave students guidance on improving their GPA when it was necessary and assigned college prep activities daily. For us juniors, our focus was not only getting good grades but also scoring well on the ACT. This year, the school wanted to increase the students’ average ACT score above a 15. As part of attaining this goal, the school acquired more resources to help students improve their testing skills before taking the ACT in April. At the start of class, my teacher, Ms. Thompson, introduced the class to a website that offered online courses for standardized achievement tests. After I created my web account, Ms. Thompson lectured about the lessons on the website.

You will receive a new set of prep courses every week to practice and complete, Ms. Thompson informed. You can either do them during class or at home, but they are all to be completed by the end of each week.

A student asked if she was going to be graded based on her online test scores. It was a concern that many students in the classroom, including myself, were apprehensive about.

You will not be graded according to your test scores but by the amount of courses you complete over the upcoming weeks, Ms. Thompson clarified.

A sigh of relief was heard from students in the room.

Keep in mind, class, that it is in your best interest to take these prep courses seriously, Ms. Thompson said firmly. They are to help you become more prepared for the ACT, which will play a significant part in determining your acceptance into a college.

When Ms. Thompson finished lecturing, I completed several courses on the test prep website before the end of class. I received a few mediocre scores and a couple of favorable ones. Even though my online scores would not affect my grade for advisory, I was a little disappointed that most of my scores that day were subpar. But it was only my first attempt, so I tried not to think about it too much. After reviewing my scores, I logged out from the website and computer before the bell rang for second period.

My next class was physics with Ms. Holman, who taught a new lesson on kinematics. Then I had algebra II in Ms. Herrera’s class. Shortly after class began, I noticed that my friend Jocelynn Rivera was absent. Algebra was the first class we shared together that year, and Jocelynn usually greeted me before sitting at her desk. Jocelynn had baked me a chocolate cupcake for my birthday the night before, but she did express that she was feeling a little unwell. I presumed that she had stayed home to recover from her sickness, but I would find out soon enough. In the meantime, I continued learning and solving inequalities until the fourth period lunch bell ended our lesson.

I put my binder up in my locker and grabbed my sketchbook. While heading towards the cafeteria, I paused when I saw Tyrell and Raymond in the hallway. They were casually talking as they came towards me. I didn’t want either of them to see me, so I scurried inside an empty classroom and stayed close to the doorway. Once I saw the boys pass the room, I went back into the hallway to go to lunch.

Tyrell and Raymond were two boys who bullied me every chance they got. We were in the same grade, and they weren’t that much bigger than me. But they were sadistic jerks. While I was heading home the previous week, Tyrell burned my skin with one of his cigarettes while Raymond pinned me down on the cement. I have a healing scar on my neck to prove it. Tyrell told me he would shoot me if I told anyone about what they did to me. I didn’t know if he was bluffing, but I didn’t want to take any chances. So I remained silent.

In the lunch line, students were served steamed mashed potatoes along with baked chicken, peas, and fruit. I was the first to sit at my usual table and my friends Ava and Heather arrived soon afterwards.

Carver, do you want my banana? Ava asked, sitting down.

You don’t want it?

Ava shook her head. I’m not in the mood for it, but it was the only fruit they had at the lunch line. I thought you might want it.

Sure, I’ll take it. Thanks, Ava.

No problem.

Shortly after grabbing Ava’s banana off her lunch tray, I noticed that Jocelynn had not arrived at the table.

Does anyone know if Jocelynn is in school today? I asked.

Jocelynn had to miss school to attend a doctor’s appointment, Heather said. She wasn’t feeling well last weekend.

How sick is she? I asked, concerned.

It’s not serious, she said. She needed to see her doctor for her yearly checkup, and it seemed like it was a good time for her to go.

Don’t worry, Carver, Ava assured. Jocelynn should be well enough to be back at school tomorrow.

I nodded. Okay. Thanks.

My friends changed their talk about Jocelynn to a different subject. Once I finished my lunch, I began to draw in my sketchbook while listening to my friends’ conversations. That day I was drawing Cinderella, my favorite Disney princess. Lunch was my favorite period in school because it was the only period where I was with all my friends in one room. Though I never talked much, I enjoyed hearing what they shared during lunch. It was great for hearing about what was going on in school as well as learning personal details about my friends. But most of all, lunch was where I could spend precious time with friends, something I valued because I knew our time together in high school would not last forever.

My remaining hours of school became a blur after lunch. Before I was fully aware of the time, the final bell rang. I would have been thrilled if not for my impending meeting with Mr. Williams. I took my time gathering my things before exiting out into the crowded hallway. It had taken me only a couple of minutes to grab everything I needed from my locker and walk to the main office.

I stopped outside of Mr. Williams’ office and looked through the door’s window. Mr. Williams was sitting at his desk talking to another student. I had over ten minutes until my meeting, so I sat on a bench nearby and got a quick start on my math homework as I waited. I glanced at my Mickey Mouse watch after completing a few problems on my worksheet. It was 3:42 p.m. Most of the students had left the building by now. Only a few students, an office assistant, and I were present in the office. After finishing the first page of my algebra assignment, Mr. Williams stepped out of his office, followed by the student.

Hello, Carver, Mr. Williams