Chasing Light's Shadow

By Brenna Cariker

To make a living, seventeen-year-old Eloise Wylde helps her alcoholic dad cheat during poker games. But when Eloise makes a mistake, her dad’s life is threatened. Either she counts cards for Randy, the infamous drug dealer they’ve cheated, or her Dad dies. As if by magic, Eloise stumbles upon the green-eyed Light, who has an even darker past than herself. He promises to save her dad if she strikes a deal with him. However, his calm and collected personality hides a shadowy secret. Eloise agrees and Light plunges her into a world where the police are animalistic, mermaids run a black market, and inter-dimensional portals resemble airports. When Eloise realizes she must choose between her anticipated reunion with her dad or saving Light from a grim fate, she discovers love is like sealing a demonic contract–it can kill you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brenna Cariker
• Release date: May 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463593325

Brenna Cariker

Brenna Cariker credits her creativity to her giant childhood backyard and the many, many books she read growing up. She loves anything cat, coffee, and skulls. She lives in Northern California with her husband, three cats, and three dogs. You can find her on the Chico State campus finishing up her degree or on her couch being a potato.

Book preview

CHASING

LIGHT’S

SHADOW

BRENNA CARIKER

For Uncle Bill

Sorry it was a little late.

We miss you.

One: Card Game

Want to see a trick? Randy pinched a flip-top lighter between two fingers. It snapped open and the flames danced between our faces, illuminating us like ghosts.

I turned away from the warmth and scoffed.

Oh, you can do better?

He plopped the lighter in my palm. My hand bobbed slightly like a scale under the weight. I kept my eyes on him and flicked my wrist, as if I was starting a car. The lighter was gone.

Randy’s eyebrows shot up. What the…?

It’s all in the wrist, I said, handing him the lighter.

I watched Randy as he attempted to mimic my move, but he wasn’t quick enough. With his large hands and broad shoulders, he was overly strong and not swift by any means.

I think you’re getting it, Pete said from across the living room. Randy was big, but Pete was an immovable skyscraper. He was overweight but could lift three times my body weight. Under his jelly-like mass was hard muscle. His traps were so big, he no longer had a distinguishable neck.

Yeah, I know, Randy said. He was clearly frustrated by his clumsy strength.

There was a knock on the door. An unspoken hierarchy was instigated and Pete stood up to answer it.

Oh, Ellie? You’re already here? Dad said. His ponytail slid over his shoulder as he stumbled through the door. He was already drunk. I shook my head at him. He knew he was supposed to be sober during these games. Our livelihood depended on it. I knew I should have gone home to get him before I headed for Randy’s, but I liked to come a little early to hang out with Randy and get him in a good mood—make him think we were friends.

Cool, you’ve already started drinking. Why am I not surprised? I asked.

Dad ducked his head. I’m weak and alcohol is my mistress.

I cracked a smile and touched Dad’s arm as he walked by. In return, he gave it a little squeeze. He pissed me off on a daily, but he was the one person I had. It was us against the world. Too bad that’s the only mistress you’ll ever have, I teased.

Hey, don’t women still like the rejected-homeless-rock-star look? Dad smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Instead, the guilt that resided in the brown bobbed like buoys. We starting soon, Randy?

Yeah, in a sec. A buyer is here. He stood up from the couch and pushed my feet off the coffee table as he walked by. I gave him a look but left my feet on the floor.

Like magic, there was another knock on the door. Randy put his hand up to Pete and answered the door himself. In the doorway stood a guy that looked not much older than I. Eighteen, nineteen maybe. He squirmed as Randy told him to come in. Pete closed the door behind him. H-hey, Randy, I’m here for the—

I know what you’re here for, Randy interrupted. Here you go, man. He pulled out a small baggy from his pocket. That’ll be a hundred.

The guy looked up at Randy’s tall frame. But…it’s fifty, I thought.

It is, but I spot you last time, remember? Did you think I’d forget?

I only have fifty on me, but I can go—

Nah, you’re not going, Randy said.

Randy, I’m sorry. If you can just give me a day…

Randy laughed. "Look, if it was just a day, I’d give it to you. I’m nice, but the people above me aren’t. That money? It came from my pocket to protect my ass."

Yeah, but—

"And now you want to take more of my money? It doesn’t work like that. Fool me once, right?"

Maybe if I—

Randy punched the guy in the face, knocking him to the ground. Pete was on the guy like a wolf. The guy’s grunts resonated against the sound of fists, feet, and knees hitting face, stomach, and shins.

I shot up from the couch, my heart racing as my fight-or-flight response pounded through my veins. I glanced over at Dad. He was also looking at me. I shook my head at him.

It’s fine, he mouthed. We’re fine.

Finally, the beating stopped. Randy helped the guy up and told him to come back when he had a hundred dollars. The guy nodded and limped out of the apartment. I looked over to see blood splattered on the linoleum. My stomach turned and I reached for Dad. An excuse for leaving was on the tip of my tongue.

Damn, Pete said. That made me hungry. Anyone else hungry?

Dad put a comforting arm around my shoulders. We can always eat. Have you seen this girl eat? She eats twice as me! Are you buying, Pete, my man?

What’s wrong with you, Ellie? Randy’s eyes were on me.

Nothing is wrong with her, Dad chimed in. He pulled his arm off me and wrapped it around Randy’s shoulder, slyly redirecting Randy’s stare elsewhere. She’s stressed out over a test. Did I tell you she has a 4.0? My girl is going places.

No shit? Randy asked. He wiped the blood off his hands on a paper towel Pete handed him. If you’re so smart, why are you hanging out with the likes of us?

I glanced at Dad who moved to Pete. He was stumbling and telling Pete that if we win tonight, he’ll take me shopping and get me lobster. That wasn’t going to happen. When we won, we would be using the money to keep our electricity on. I pulled myself out of the fear that held me in place. This was no time for it. We had to do this. We had to get money; otherwise, we’d end up homeless. We only had to do it for six more months, and then I’d be heading to college, and I was taking Dad with me.

I don’t know, I answered Randy. I’m book smart, but I lack common sense.

Randy laughed. All right, you guys ready to play or what? I’m guessing you’re not playing again, Ellie?

I sat on the floor. I just like to watch.

Dad pulled away from Pete and plopped on the floor next to me. Randy and Pete joined us around the coffee table. Randy dealt the cards while Dad told us a story we had heard many times. Something about how he had won a million bucks on a scratcher before but got so drunk he gave it to a busboy as a tip. He thought it was a funny story. I relaxed and sunk into my place on the sticky carpet.

The room quieted once everyone got their cards, and I kept my eyes on Dad. Dad rubbed his left eye with his right index finger.

He needed a two.

I glanced at his hand. He had three jacks, a seven, and a two. He was going for a full house. I internally rolled my eyes. If I slipped him another jack, he would have a four of a kind, a better hand.

I kept my pack of cards in an order I memorized years ago. They went from ace to king, starting with hearts then diamonds then spades then clubs. It may not have been the right way to organize the suits, but it was the way I liked it. I slipped my fingers into my hoodie pocket and counted through the cards. I didn’t have to check to make sure I got the correct card. I knew these cards, I knew my steady hands, and I knew I had the right one.

I tucked the jack into my sleeve, leaned back onto my arms, as if I was lounging, and let the card slide underneath Dad’s leg. Dad had already needled the unwanted card out and maneuvered it into his own sleeve. He glanced at the new card and shot me an annoyed look. I shot him one back. Once his cards were seen, he’d slip the cheating cards back to me and insert the original cards, so no doubles showed up. After years of practice, it looked like nothing more than flicks of the wrist.

I could do this in my sleep.

Dad had told me when I was little we were like Robin Hood. We stole from the bad and gave to the good—which was us. What a load of shit. By now, I knew we had to do this if we wanted to live in our small duplex and have food and electricity. My conscience didn’t like it, but I tucked that away a long time ago.

I’m still hungry, Pete said.

Yeah, I kinda am, too. Ellie, will you make us something? Randy asked.

No. I never left Dad’s side during a game. He’d try to win with a measly two pair and lose our money.

His eyes fell on me and my body tensed. Randy wasn’t used to people telling him no.

Ellie, c’mon? Make something really quick, Dad insisted.

Dad, are you serious? I’ve been reduced to making sandwiches? How will you win without me?

You make the best sandwiches.

I pushed myself off the floor and stomped to the kitchen. I thrashed about and tossed the bread on the counter. A piece fell on the ground. Randy would get that one.

I glanced over at Dad; the pile of bills in front of him had gotten smaller. I could tell he was struggling. I bit the inside of my cheek and whirled back to the kitchen. Frustrated, I raked my fingers through my ponytail. My anxiety was getting the best of me. We wouldn’t lose our money. In fact, as soon as I got in there, I would win it all back. The game wasn’t over yet.

I scraped mayonnaise on the bread, slapped lunchmeat and cheese on it then tossed them on a plate.

I forced a smile. Okay! Here you go! Hope you all choke!

Dad rubbed under his right eye with his right pointer finger.

Queen of hearts.

I didn’t even check his hand. I counted my cards to the twelfth one then got it to Dad. He added almost all his money and laid the cards down.

Royal flush, baby! Dad exclaimed.

Fuck! Randy tossed his cards on the table.

Dad won.

"Hold up, how do you have a royal flush? You are missing a queen—you have two kings!" Pete said.

What? I said, glancing at the cards.

I gave Dad the wrong card!

Wait a fucking minute. Randy looked between his and Pete’s cards. How are there five kings?

Manufacturing defect? Dad suggested.

Randy shot up. He threw a glass cup at the coffee table. Cold, wet pieces of glass shattered around me. Get up. His voice was low and menacing.

Two: Fallen Cards

I peered through my fingers. Dad’s arms were tight around me. Small cuts speckled his face.

Did you hear me? I said get up!

Randy and Pete towered over us.

Wh-what the hell? I cried. What are you doing?

Randy seized me, yanking Dad’s arms away. He clutched my wrist and pulled me to my feet. I looked over to see Pete holding Dad back.

Hey! I lunged toward Dad to help him, only to have something hard hit me in the face. The blow sent me back to the ground, and I tasted blood in my mouth. I had never been punched before. Tears burned my eyes.

Dad’s own yell got muffled. Pete smashed his fist into Dad’s stomach, making him fall to his knees. I screamed until a sour taste clamped over my mouth—Randy’s hand. You scream like that again and we’ll kill him, you hear me?

I nodded.

Well, we might kill him anyway, he said with a grin.

I thought we were cool? I asked him. We’re friends, right?

Randy smiled. Friends don’t cheat each other out of hundreds of dollars. This is business now.

A trickle of blood ran down my chin. We didn’t cheat.

Don’t lie. It’s pathetic. He shoved a fist into my pocket and threw my cards down on the floor. They scattered like the shattered glass.

Randy—

I’m not a bad guy, Ellie. He bent down so he was eye level to me. I have to do bad things so I can survive, too.

I matched his stare. If you let us go—

Nah, can’t do that, he said and stood up. "Nope, can’t do that. Every time you guys won—and I do mean every time—I had to overcharge my clients, and skimp and save. It was cool, you know, you guys won. But now that I know you cheated me, I’m pretty offended and really pissed off."

I reared my arm back and punched him in the face. Agony shot up from my wrist to my elbow, but it felt good. God, it felt good.

Randy stumbled back, and blood streamed down from his nose. Fuck him up, he murmured. Pete began beating Dad. When he fell to the ground, he kicked him again and again. His grunts pierced through my heart. A scream built in my throat, but I swallowed it.

It was all me! Leave him out of it. I managed to talk through my closing throat. It was my idea.

Ellie! Dad shouted, but it came out more as a cough.

Randy wiped the blood that trickled from his nose, making it smear across his face like a clown’s grin. What did you say?

Dad couldn’t take care of himself—he wouldn’t be able to survive what Randy had in store for him. But I could take it. I could survive. It was my idea. Are you deaf or something? I winced and waited for the blow, but it never came. Instead, Randy regarded me as the room fell silent.

Okay, he said.

Okay? You’ll let us go?

I’ll let your dad go, but you have to stay. Your shit is rusty, but you tricked me for a long time. With a little more training, this could work.

You’re not using her for anything! Dad yelled. Pete pushed him and he fell back to the ground. Blood seeped out of his mouth, thick as honey.

Don’t fucking touch him again, I said to Pete. His eyes met mine and then quickly receded.

Randy waved a hand toward Pete. Just leave him be for a minute. He turned to me and ushered me out the front door and on to the small concrete porch. When the door shut behind him, his commanding voice turned to a hushed, friendly one. You have a gift, Ellie. Your pops can go home, all forgiven. But you’re going to stay, and we’ll work on your counting skills. In six months you’ll be an unbeatable beast, and we can take down motherfuckers and actually get some real cash.

I glared at him. I’ll be graduating in six months. I’m not staying in this shit-hole and playing petty games for money. I’m going to college and actually making something of myself.

I’m sorry for hitting you, he said. Want me to get you some ice?

No, I want you to tell Pete to get off my dad and then to fuck off.

Randy’s face scrunched up. I tried to be nice, but you don’t have a choice. We’re doing this.

I opened my mouth just as the door opened. Dad’s bloody face popped over Randy’s shoulders, and his arms wrapped around Randy’s like a rope. Run! Dad yelled. His voice was rough like a garbage disposal.

Come with me! I screamed.

Run! Dad yelled again as Randy thrashed about like a bull.

I turned and ran.

I didn’t know where to go, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t go home. Randy knew where we lived. We had no family. I had no friends. I stopped at an intersection—the light turned red. A woman with a little boy stood and waited next to me. She eyed me as I paced back and forth while cars passed us. I eyed her back. She looked like she was in her mid-thirties. She had short, blonde hair and kind brown eyes. Her little boy slurped on a sucker; his chubby hand firmly held by hers. Maybe I could ask her for help. Maybe she would take me home with her and help me come up with a plan. Mothers did that, right? They had an instinct to help.

Ellie! Randy’s scream shot through me like a bullet and I almost fell to my knees. I looked back to see him charging down the sidewalk toward me. The light was still red. The cars had thinned out, but they were still rushing by like a river. The woman’s eyes caught mine, and for a second, right before I stepped off the curb, I’m certain I saw sympathy.

Ellie! You fucking idiot! Randy yelled as I ran into the street and dodged a minivan. Blaring honks reverberated around me as I sprinted across the street. I’m not sure if I was close to being hit because I kept my eyes on the sidewalk. I wanted to make sure if I did get hit and killed, the last thing I saw was anything but Randy’s face.

I stumbled over the curb but kept going. If I made it to the downtown area, it would be easier to hide. Downtown was a maze-like graveyard for condemned skyscrapers. I zigzagged through alleyways—not ever knowing where I was going, but certain that it’d be hard to follow me. What would Randy do if he caught me? Force me to count cards for him? I wouldn’t put it past him. There were a lot of rumors I’d heard about him, and I saw him commit some of them with my own eyes. Randy was capable of very bad things.

I tripped over the loose gravel and skidded to a halt. My heartbeat and labored breathing resonated down the narrow alleyway. I leaned against the wall of a dilapidated building and listened. Footsteps boomed around me, but I wasn’t sure where they were coming from. My knees wobbled, promising to go out any second as sweat dripped into my eyes. I couldn’t go any farther. I didn’t care anymore—I’d count cards for Randy. Who cares? So, I wouldn’t be able to go to college. At least Dad would be okay.

I opened my mouth to holler at Randy when a spark of light—as if someone was reflecting sunlight with a mirror—caught my eye. It came from inside the building. I squinted and watched as the light fluttered down toward me. It landed on my nose like a butterfly. A tiny