No Longer Alone

By Rebecca Matthews

Alexa Caldwell had been born to wealth and status, but raucous living and poor choices by her father brought her and her mother to financial ruin, and eventually death for the delicate Martha Caldwell. Alone, destitute Alexa had no choice but agree to become a mail-order-bride and head to the far western reaches of the country, Montana. There a man waited for her to cook, clean, birth and rear children, sew, iron and a plethera of other domestic chores she had no idea how to do. Oh, well. She would just have to fake it til she made it. What she didn't expect was to meet her future brother-in-law at the train depot and find wild, uncontrollable, lustful desires welling up within her for the ruggedly good-looking cowboy. When she did meet her groom, she found him as sweet and charming as his brother Britt was disarmingly dark and brooding. There was another surprise awaiting her, a child of seven who had been without a mother most of her life. Knowing nothing about children Alexa was distressed at this latest development. Nothing cowardly about her,she plunged into her new life headlong. In time her feelings for Britt cooled and her love for Cam grew. Everything seemed ideal, almost too good to be true, and when it does it usually is.  

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rebecca Matthews
• Release date: Jun 14, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393295204

Rebecca Matthews

                                                                                                                                Author Bio Rebecca is a retired R.N. who has yearned to be an author since she was an adolescent. Her first novella, A Gentleman’s Game was published in print and digital in May of 2015.  Since then she has had two more novels published by Liquid Silver Publishing, Revenge is Sweet  and Linger Longer Lodge, and a new novel is forthcoming on February 3, 2017, titled Queen of My Heart from DreamBig Publishing.  She also has several indie novels from Kindle including Blackwater Creek, When Hope is Gone, Come and Be My Love, and now Two Broken Hearts. Her books cover a wide variety of themes, locales, and characters. Several of her novels are contemporary, but she has had a lifelong fascination with the South, specifically the Civil War, the people not the politics, and loves to use it for a backdrop for her romance novels, as well as Louisiana Bayou and the area around the Jewel of the South, Savannah. Her stories take you from East Coast to West, and the Smoky Mountains to the Gulf Coast, made up of characters you will remember long after the final page is read. She lives in sunny Florida with her husband of over thirty years and their cat and dog. She feels blessed to have spent thirty years working in a career she loves, and then to have realized her lifelong dream of becoming a writer. For more information or to leave a comment, good or bad, please visit her website at: https://www.RebeccaMatthewsAuthor.com.Thank you for reading her novels and keep coming back for more.

Book preview

By 

Rebecca Matthews

This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

First edition. December 26, 2017.

Copyright © 2017 Rebecca Matthews.

Chapter One

ALEXA CALDWELL LOOKED out the window of the coach car of the North Pacific Railroad with bleary-eyed disinterest. Tired, frightened, and alone her beautiful green velvet travelling dress was dusted with ashes and soot from the cinders spewing from the smokestack above her. There was no use attempting to look out the filthy window covered in dirt and ash because nothing was visible except the reflection of a woebegone young woman with flaming, red hair attractively piled up off her collar in a raucous covey of curls at the crown of her head. At eighteen years old she was all alone in the world, traveling to a God-forsaken place called Montana. The face that stared back at her was tight and drawn with worry and fear, having never felt so desolate, so vulnerable, so victimized. In her two trunks and her valise was everything she owned in this world, a drastic change from the life she had known in Philadelphia, before...

There was no one in the world to tell her or advise her what to do, so whether she was happy in her new life or not, was her choice. She could make the most of the situation or she could wallow in self-pity and misery. As she contemplated her future as Mrs. Cam Wilson, she bit down on her full, red lips, and admired the beautiful ear bobs she saw in her reflection as they dangled from her dainty lobes. They were a gift from her mother, the only thing of value left from their days of plenty.

Yes, Alexa’s future lay before her out here in the West, but it was one of uncertainty. Thinking of it sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach beneath her tiny waist. Could she really do this? Her heart was pounding and her palms were sweating beneath her white lace gloves. She carried a parasol, as all the ladies in Philadelphia did when they went out into the sun’s harsh rays. She would retain her lady-like status as long as possible, before she became the chattel of some farmer who needed a wife to bear him some children and help him work the land. In her mind, she heard the words with a countrified accent for her anecdotal imaginings. Oh, my, she sighed deeply. Oh, my, my!

Alexa’s poor mother would be turning over in her grave if she knew her beloved only child was on her way to becoming a mail-order-bride to a man she had never met in a land at the opposite end of the country from where she was born and raised. Alexa ruefully knew it could not be helped, but things had not always been this way. Alexandria Marie Caldwell was the only child of Martha and Todd Caldwell of Philadelphia, born to a family of wealth and status, one of the oldest in Philadelphia. Her mother had wanted more children, but the Good Lord did not see fit to allow it, so Alexa grew up spoiled, pampered, and lonely. She was so obnoxiously rotten that the other children refused to play with her, even at the obligatory and stern coaxing from their mothers.

Alexa’s mother was more than distraught that her only child was such a social outcast. As a child, Martha had been invited into all the finest homes in the city. Her family was well-respected and revered by the people of the town, high society, the servants in their home, and the congregation of the Presbyterian Church where her grandfather had been a Deacon. Martha unfortunately had not married well, however. 

It was quite a scandal when young Martha, the talented young artist with so much promise had put down her brushes and packed away her easel to become Mrs. Todd Caldwell. Her parents were astounded and furious. Her friends were astonished and disapproving. Madly in love with the rogue, she did not care one bit about public opinion and would follow him to the ends of the earth.

Todd had some very unhealthy social pastimes, including betting on anything that moved. He was so addicted to gambling he could not even mention the weather without saying, I bet you ten dollars it will rain before the day is out. Everything was a gamble to him. The one thing he would not take a chance on, however, was gainful employment.

Upon the death of her parents, Martha and her two sisters inherited rather significant sums of money. The laws being what they are, what was Martha’s immediately became Todd’s, and he was ecstatic with his newly acquired fortune to stake his wagers at the gaming tables, horse races, boat races, dice, roulette wheels, cards, and anything else he could find someone to bet on with him. He was beyond salvation when it came to his obsession with gambling.

Todd would come home late at night, and Alexa could remember the sounds of her parents’ loud arguing downstairs or in their bedroom down the hall waking her in her bedroom at the back of the three-story house. There would crying, yelling and doors slamming. The mornings after, her mother always looked pale and drawn with sooty rims around her bloodshot eyes from having cried most of the night away. Todd was nowhere to be seen.

Other times the shouting would die down and be replaced by giggling and the sounds of squeaking springs, which told Alexa her father had once again used his charismatic control over her mother to charm his way back into her good graces, and her bed.

Alexa learned almost everything she knew about her parents’ relationship from the housekeeper, Annie, who slept in a small room off the kitchen. She knew all, saw all, and heard all, and reported that Martha had begged, cajoled, threatened, screamed, cried, and pleaded, even attempted seduction and coercion but nothing would get him to stop. Nothing. Alexa’s father was often contrite and apologetic on his return from his late night forays, making excuses why he lost such large sums of money, and always swearing he would win it back the next night to repay Martha handsomely. Those promises were like chaff in the wind. The next day they would be blown as far from his memory as the East is from the West, and he would let nothing stop him from gambling the night away and losing big—again!

After several years, her father had managed to squander her mother’s entire inheritance and had started acquiring loans from less than reputable lenders. As these creditors became increasingly impatient for their money, Todd grew anxious, and distraught, always looking over his shoulder for any sign of the goons that worked for the shady men who had loaned him his gambling funds at exorbitant rates of interest. Todd explained to Martha in graphic detail what these men were capable of and that they would stop at nothing to get their money. Nothing.

In order to save her husband from almost certain death or at the very least imprisonment, Martha was forced to do whatever she could to pay off the loan sharks who were pressing in harder with each passing day. At last, she came to the very difficult decision that the only avenue of escape open to her was to liquidate their remaining assets, which at this point consisted only of the house and their belongings. This was the final blow to the longsuffering Martha. Her husband had become an embarrassment to her and Alexa as well as besmirching the family name. As he attempted to make his way home very late one night, a dense fog had rolled in and visibility was extremely poor. Inebriated as always, he foolishly stepped off the curb into the path of an oncoming carriage. The driver did not see him in the thick fog and could not avoid hitting him, crushing his head crushed against the cobblestones. Ironically, Todd died crossing the street in front of their house, just a few feet from the safety of hearth and home. Alexa considered it poetic justice that only in death was he able to break his gambling habit, quit spending others’ money, and shirking the consequences of such irresponsible behavior. Because of him, life had become a living hell for the two Caldwell women. Now he was gone, but the irretrievable damage was already done. His wife and daughter would be forced to live out their days in shame and servitude in order to survive.

Even in death, Todd was not absolved of his debts and creditors were not shy about knocking on the door demanding payment. With no one left to save, it was pure anguish as the women watched their home and all the lovely furnishings be carted off by purchasers at the liquidation sale: imported paintings in gilt frames by famous European artists, the Louis XIV furniture, the fine silver and china, her mother’s jewelry, and, well....everything just to save a man who was no longer alive to save. The injustice of it all left a taste as bitter as gall in Alexa’s mouth.

Helpless and heartbroken, a mere shell of the woman she had been before, unable to face friends and family fearing their reproof at having chosen a mate so foolishly, she shunned everyone she knew and lived out her last days in relative isolation with only her daughter for company.

Alexa not only grieved the loss of her mother, but also the terrible waste that her mother’s life had been. Martha could have been a successful artist and married any wealthy New England aristocrat’s son. Instead she gave it all up to raise a child and watch her husband fritter away her money on women, drink, and gambling. Alexa was never completely certain if her mother knew about the other women in Todd’s life and just chose to turn a blind eye, or if she was naive. Alexa had heard the words ‘smell of cheap perfume’, and ‘lipstick on your collar’, even ‘illegitimate child’ during some of those late night arguments, but she never asked her mother about these things. They were just not discussed, even in private, of well-bred families!

Alexa knew what kind of people frequented those gambling halls, and what the women did that worked there. It made Alexa sick to think of her father’s disgusting, insulting infidelity, and total disregard for her mother’s feelings, her tremendous pride, or the sanctity of their marriage. Mother did not deserve that kind of treatment! Her only crime was falling in love with the wrong man.

According to their family physician, Dr. Wainwright, her dear mother had been taken from her far too soon, literally dying from a broken heart. It was a theory Alexa had no trouble believing. When Martha’s husband died, the last remaining spark of life vanished from Mrs. Caldwell’s body like a vapor. Soon, they were re-united in the cemetery. Alexa’s only consolation was the knowledge that they were definitely not sharing the hereafter together.

Martha was surely enjoying her divine rewards Alexa hoped and prayed that Todd Caldwell would be spending eternity in the fires of Hell paying for all his sins here on earth. Perhaps she would not have felt quite so harshly towards him if he had ever attempted to make recompense to her mother, or even once sincerely apologized for the pain he caused or his lack of paternal qualities toward Alexa, but he did not and for this Alexa despised him.

As a result of the arguments floating up to her room all those nights as she was growing up she had determined to never fall in love, and definitely never marry. As Fate would have it, thanks to her father’s wandering ways, she was left with no choice but to sell herself to a stranger, thousands of miles away, to be his wife and the mother of his future children.

So, here she was on a filthy, noisy train, getting jostled until she thought her innards were tied in knots, riding for days, heading to the arms, and—Ugh!—bed of a man she had never met. His name is Cam Wilson. What kind of a name was that? Was it short for Camel or Campfire, maybe Camisole or Camphor? She smiled at her own silly musings. She could not think of one respectable male name that would start with ‘C-a-m’. 

She had to entertain herself with amusing thoughts to keep from breaking down and bawling right here in front of all these strangers. She did not know a soul where she was going, including her bridegroom, and this desolate country with nary a house or building for miles and miles was incredibly depressing. Once she had passed through St. Paul, the last vestige of a city, it felt as if she were traveling to the end of the earth.

Alexa had futilely attempted to sleep sitting up in her bumpy, uncomfortable wooden seat, but besides the discomfort, she could hear wolves howling, which filled her with an eerie sense of foreboding. So much about this trip filled her with fear and dread. As dawn broke, she noticed the scenery had become more interesting, or at least more varied. There were purple mountains visible in the first rays of morning light, stands of towering pine trees and graceful, breathtaking waterfalls. There were herds of buffalo, deer and antelope, and large, bald, outcroppings of stone that created strange formations that fascinated her, thus she tried to focus on the passing vistas rather than on what awaited her at the end of this journey.

Nothing here was as it had been in Philadelphia. Oh what am I doing? Her eyes misting over, she once again turned her face to the window to prevent anyone from noticing her tears.

What would Cam be like? Was he kind or brusque? Handsome, homely, or grotesque? Did he intend to love her someday or was she just free help around the homestead, which she had read entailed long days of strenuous manual labor. She had never washed a dish, cooked a meal, or made a bed in her life, much less fed chickens, or milked cows, or any of the other sordid chores she had heard about here on the frontier. She wondered if she would have to fight off Indians... or wolves.

The closer she came to her destination where her fate would be fulfilled, the more she hated her father. During his lifetime, she had very few kind feelings toward him, but being forced into this terrifying and embarrassing situation had morphed her white-hot fury into unbridled hatred. How could any man do that to his family?  He took no thought for our well-being, not once! He was a scoundrel, a liar, a thief, and a cad! How her mother ever fell in love with him in the first place is one thing she would never, ever understand. Love is blind, her mother had often told her. Yes, and it must be deaf and dumb too.

How could Mother not see the warning signs? There had to be warning signs while they were courting! If Alexa had been in her mother’s position of being wooed by this rapscallion, she would certainly have noticed something to prevent her from joining her hand to his in marriage. As it was Alexa had seen many traits in her father that indicated he was up to no good.  She was going to be much smarter than her mother in her choice. Wait a