'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry

By Irving Bacheller

This novel has been described as belonging to the genre of didactic fiction. It is meant not just to entertain but to have a moral purpose also. The central character is the Honorable Socrates Potter, a good friend of a woman called Lizzie, whom he seeks to persuade to moderate her excesses.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Good Press
• Release date: Apr 25, 2021
• ISBN: 4064066131159

Irving Bacheller

Addison Irving Bacheller (September 26, 1859 – February 24, 1950) was an American journalist and writer who founded the first modern newspaper syndicate in the United States. (Wikipedia)

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Irving Bacheller

'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry

Published by Good Press, 2022

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EAN 4064066131159

Table of Contents

ILLUSTRATIONS

FOREWORD

CHARGE IT

I

IN WHICH HARRY SWIFTLY PASSES FROM ONE STAGE OF HIS CAREER TO ANOTHER

II

WHICH BEGINS THE STORY OF THE BISHOP’S HEAD

III

WHICH IS THE STORY OF THE PIMPLED QUEEN AND THE BLACK SPOT

IV

IN WHICH SOCRATES ENCOUNTERS NEW THOUGHT AND PSYCHOLOGICAL HAIR

V

IN WHICH SOCRATES DISCUSSES THE OVER-PRODUCTION OF TALK

VI

IN WHICH BETSEY COMMITS AN INDISCRETION

VII

IN WHICH SOCRATES ATTACKS THE WORST DOERS AND BEST SELLERS

VIII

IN WHICH SOCRATES ATTACKS THE HELMET AND THE BATTLE-AX

IX

IN WHICH SOCRATES INCREASES THE SUPPLY OF SPLENDOR

X

IN WHICH SOCRATES BREAKS THE DRAG AND TANDEM MONOPOLY IN POINTVIEW

XI

IN WHICH SUNDRY PEOPLE MAKE GREAT DISCOVERIES

XII

IN WHICH HARRY IS FORCED TO ABANDON SWAMP FICTION AND LIKE FOLLIES AND TO STUDY THE GEOGRAPHY AND NATIVES OF A LAND UNKNOWN TO OUR HEIRISTOCRACY

XIII

IN WHICH THE MINISTER GETS INTO LOVE AND TROUBLE

XIV

IN WHICH SOCRATES DISCOVERS A NEW FOLLY

XV

IN WHICH HARRY RETURNS TO POINTVIEW AND GOES TO WORK

XVI

WHICH PRESENTS AN INCIDENT IN OUR CAMPAIGN AGAINST NEW NEW ENGLAND

XVII

WHICH PRESENTS A DECISIVE INCIDENT IN OUR CAMPAIGN AGAINST OLD NEW ENGLAND

ILLUSTRATIONS

Table of Contents

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FOREWORD

Table of Contents

It may interest, if it does not comfort, the reader to know that this little story is built upon facts. The ride of Harry, the hundred-dollar pimple, the psychological hair, the downfall of Roger, all happened, while the Bishop’s Head is one of the possessions of a New England family.

I. B.

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1

CHARGE IT

Table of Contents

I

Table of Contents

IN WHICH HARRY SWIFTLY PASSES FROM ONE STAGE OF HIS CAREER TO ANOTHER

Table of Contents

Harry and I were waiting for his motor-car, said the Honorable Socrates Potter. "He couldn’t stand and wait––that would be losing time––so we kept busy. Went into the stores and bought things––violets, candy, golf-balls, tennis-shoes, new gloves, and neckties. Harry didn’t need ’em, but he couldn’t waste any time and––

"‘There’s the car!’

"In each store Harry had used the magic words, ‘Charge it,’ and passed on.

2

"We were going over to Chesterville to settle with the contractor who had built his father’s house. We had an hour and four minutes in which to do it all, and then––the 6.03 express for New York. Harry had to get it to be in time for a bridge party.

"We climbed in. Harry grabbed the wheel. The gas-lever purred, the gears clicked, the car jumped into motion and rushed, screeching, up the hill ahead of us, shot between a trolley-car and a wagon, swung around a noisy runabout, scared a team into the siding, and sped away.

"The town behind us! Country-houses on either side! A bulldog in the near perspective! He set himself, made a rush at us, as if trying to grab a wheel off the car, and the wheel got him. We flushed a lot of chickens. The air seemed to be full of them. Harry waved an apology to the farmer, as if to say:

"‘Never mind, sir, I’m in a hurry now. Take my number and charge it.’

3

"‘He struck a fowl, and, turning, I saw a whirl of feathers in the air behind us and the farmer’s fist waving above the dust.

"Harry would have paid for the dog and the fowl in money but not in time––not even in a second of time! Harry had an engagement for a bridge party and must catch the 6.03 express.

"A man on a bicycle followed by a big greyhound was just ahead. We screeched. The man went into the ditch and took a header. The greyhound didn’t have time to turn out then. He bent to the oars until he had gained lead enough to save himself with a sidelong jump into the buttercups.

"‘Charge it!’

"The needle on the speedometer wavered from fifty to fifty-five, then struck at sixty, held a second there, and passed it. Gnats and flies hit my face and stung like flying shot. The top of the road went up in a swirl of dust behind us. I hung on, with 4 my life in my trembling hands. We zipped past teams and motor-cars.

"We filled every eye with dust and every ear with screeches and every heart with a swift pang of terror.

"‘Charge it!’

"A rider with a frightened horse raced on ahead of us to the next corner. We sped across the track into Chesterville and––

"‘Hold up! There’s the office ahead.’

"The levers move, down goes the brake, and we’re there.

"‘Eleven miles in fourteen minutes!’ Harry exclaims, as I spring out and hurry to the door. It was really sixteen minutes, but I always allow Harry a slight discount.

"‘Not in!’ I shout, in a second.

"‘Not in––heart of Allah!––where is he?’

"‘At the Wilton job on the point.’

"‘We’ll go get him.’

"‘You go; I’ll wait here.’

"Away he rushes––I thank God for the 5 brief respite. This high power encourages great familiarity with the higher powers. But the Creator’s name is used here in no light or profane spirit, let me say. In each case it is only a brief prayer or, rather, the beginning of a prayer which one has not time to finish. It is cut short by a new adventure.

"I say to myself that I shall not ride back with Harry. No, life is still dear to me. I will take the trolley. And yet––what thrilling, Jove-like, superhuman deviltry it was! I light a cigar and sit down. Harry and Wilton arrive. Fifteen minutes gone!

"I get down to business.

"Harry says: ‘Please cut it short.’

"I could have saved five hundred dollars if I had had time to present our side of the case with proper deliberation. But Harry keeps shouting:

"‘Do cut it short. I must get there––don’t you know?’

6

"Wilton must have his pay, too––he needs every cent of it to-morrow.

"‘You go on. I’ll stay here and settle this matter and go home by the trolley.’

"‘Let’s stick together,’ my young friend entreats. ‘Please hurry it through and come on with me. I need you.’

"Harry must have company. His time is wasted unless he has a spectator––an audience––a witness––a historian. Without that, all his hair-breadth escapes would be thrown away. His stories would hang by a thread.

"‘We’ve only twenty-one minutes,’ he calls.

"I say to myself: ‘Damn the man whose money is like water and whose time is more precious than the last hour of Mahomet.’ Well, of course, there was plenty of money, but the supply of time was limited. To waste a second was to lose an opportunity for self-indulgence.

"I draw a check and take a hurried receipt and jump in.

7

"Away we go. ‘Look out!’

"The brakes grind, and we rise in the air a little as a small boy crosses our bows. We just missed him––thank God!

"‘Don’t be reckless, old man––go a bit slower.’

"‘It’s all right. We’ve a clear road now.’

"What a wind in our faces! There’s the track ahead.

"‘Look out! The train! God Almighty!’

"I spoke too late. We were almost up to the rails when I saw it. We couldn’t stop. Cleared the track in time. Felt the wind of the engine in my back hair, and then my scalp moved. Just ahead was a light buggy in the middle of the road and a bull, frightened by the cars, galloping beside it.

"In the excitement Harry hadn’t time to blow, and the roar of the train had covered our noise. The bull turned into the ditch and speeded up. We swerved between bull and buggy and grazed the side of the latter.

8

"I jumped and landed on the bull, and that saved me. It’s the first time that I ever knocked a bull down. He got to his feet swiftly beside me, bellowed, and took the fence. He was a fat, well-fed bull with a big, round, soft side on him. I never knew that a bull was