Search No More: The Keys to Truth and Happiness

By Steven R. Hemler

Why am I not happy with what everyone says are the good things in life, including money, fun and friends?

How does being a committed Christian bring true happiness?

How can we know that Jesus is truly the divine Son of God who rose from the dead?

Is there scientific evidence that heaven is real and, if so, how can I be saved?

Why would I want to be a practicing Catholic in today's world, especially with the clerical sex abuse and cover-up scandals?

Search No More provides clear, compelling, and concise answers to these and other “big questions” about happiness, Jesus, salvation, and the Catholic faith. In Search No More, author Steven Hemler makes the case that the keys to truth and happiness are Jesus and his Church, as experienced by himself, the saints, and millions of others over the past 2,000 years.

Even though the clerical sex abuse and cover-up scandals have damaged the credibility of the Catholic Church's witness, this does not negate the wisdom or truth of the Church's divinely inspired teachings nor prevent us from finding true happiness and joy in her service-oriented community and sacramental graces. Explore this claim for yourself and discover the happiness and truth you are searching for in life.

Search No More will be of interest to anyone seeking something more or wanting to logically explore the truth of fundamental teachings of the Catholic Church, including those who were raised Catholic and have questions about the faith of their childhood. Search No More will help dispel doubts, strengthen faith, and provide valuable information for discussion with family and friends who have questions about Catholicism.

• Language: English
• Publisher: TAN Books
• Release date: Apr 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9781505112757

Book preview

16:18-19—

Part 1

THE KEYS TO TRUE HAPPINESS

Chapter 1

WHY AREN’T WE HAPPIER?

We all hunger for happiness. This is why we do what we do—we believe it will bring us happiness. We typically seek happiness in money and the things it will buy, in academic achievement or a successful career, in how we look or dress, in sports or hobbies, in being entertained, in parties and socializing, in recreational activities and family relationships.

How often do we try to feel good by satisfying the need for material possessions, the hunger for approval, or our desire for fun? We all feel a temptation to focus our lives on these things. This temptation is based on the belief that the good life is found in satisfying our physical and emotional desires. As shared by my young friend Ben Keast:

Many people of my generation have been lured into the more, more, more! mentality, since now we are surrounded with so much advertising. There are so many people in the world that really believe that the good life is living in a mansion, or having a fancy car, or whatever (there are even reality TV shows about people with all this), and so few people are just happy with what they already have. Moreover, so many people tie their happiness to their self-image, whether it be how much they own to impress others or how they look (especially when it comes to social media).

How often do we tell ourselves that we’re not happy because we do not have all the things that we should have or that we want to have? So we strive and work to get more nice things—cars, homes, electronic devices, clothes—and then we find that these do not satisfy us for long. Thus we strive and strive, and for many people, life becomes a constant quest to acquire more, to attain more, to achieve more.

If we get a good grade, we want a better grade next time. If we get a good job, we want a better job. If we get a promotion, we want the next promotion. When we earn money, we want more money. When we buy something nice, we want to buy something even better. After we get together with friends and family, we can’t wait to be with them again. After having fun at one party, we want to have even more fun at the next party. When we reach a goal, the bar is raised and we never feel like we have fully achieved our desire. We keep looking for happiness in what comes next.

I first came to this realization after attending an endless stream of parties and other social events one weekend after another in college. After each weekend, I felt an inner drive to make sure I had parties or other social activities to attend with friends the next weekend—because being alone with nothing to do on a weekend in college was a dreadful prospect! But I eventually came to realize that seeking happiness in this way just never ends, because after one party must come another, then another, and so on. All this fun was not bringing me true happiness. Once the present party was over, the next was needed in order to have more fun. It just never ends.

Our desires for fun, fame, the esteem of others, material possessions, and our own enjoyment are insistent, constantly clamoring for attention. While they may be worthwhile, seeking to be happy by getting more of these things is not fully satisfying because we can never have enough of them. We always want more pleasure, prestige, popularity, power, possessions, and prosperity.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with having enough possessions to live comfortably or with enjoying good times with friends and family. What we are talking about is when pursuit of these things becomes a major driving force and central purpose in our life. As many people have discovered, the endless pursuit of self-indulgent activities in the hope of finding happiness is not a fulfilling lifestyle. We eventually find that something is missing. As affirmed by author Ravi Zacharias: The real problem is that even pleasure ultimately leaves us empty and unfulfilled. When the pleasure button is pressed incessantly, we are left feeling bewilderingly empty and betrayed…. Pleasure without boundaries produces life without purpose.¹

Our culture confuses pleasure with true happiness. The simple truth is that the pleasures of this world cannot be sustained beyond the activity producing them. The fun of a party lasts only until the end of the party. True happiness, on the other hand, can be sustained beyond the activity producing it. At most, the pleasures of this world bring only a fleeting happiness, not true happiness and lasting joy—the kind of joy that is serene and untouchable, self-contained, and independent of the changing circumstances in life.²

The Happiness Hole in Our Hearts

Many people eventually discover that wholehearted and single-minded pursuit of worldly pleasures leads, in the end, not to lasting happiness but to pain, sorrow, and guilt.³ If we talk with anyone who is addicted to food, alcohol, drugs, or sex, we realize what happens when worldly pleasures are made too central in our lives. How many rich and famous people, who seem to have all this world offers, end up in rehab?

Drinking and drugs will not fill the happiness hole in our heart, nor will being busy with more wholesome pursuits like recreational activities, socializing, travel, sports, or entertainment. Do we, for instance, sometimes find ourselves watching too much television? If so, could we be using television as an escape from the nagging feeling that there must be more to life?

Our lives will never expand to greater depth and meaning as long as we are dominated by selfish pursuits. Life means so much more. Love, relationships, family, moral excellence, and serving God and others are much more important. As Rick Warren writes, "Don’t settle for just achieving ‘the good life,’ because the good life is not good enough. Ultimately it doesn’t satisfy. You can have a lot to live on and still have nothing to live for. Aim instead for ‘the better life’—serving God in a way that expresses your heart. Figure out what you love to do—what God gave you a heart to do—and then do it for his glory."⁴

Our heart is the core of our self, the deepest center of who we are, that place from which our thoughts and actions arise. Only God can fill the happiness hole we feel in our heart. Philosopher Peter Kreeft reinforced this point when he wrote, Trying to fill the God-sized hole in our hearts with things other than God is like trying to fill the Grand Canyon with marbles.⁵ When we hook our inherent desire for God onto something less than God—such as pleasure, power, money, success, prestige—we eventually feel unhappiness and disharmony inside.

This is not a new realization. Saint Augustine of Hippo, a famous Catholic bishop who lived about sixteen hundred years ago, astutely captured this reality when, after living his youth in wayward pursuit of worldly pleasures before emerging into the light of Christianity, he wrote, "God, you have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in You."⁶

St. Augustine realized that we all have an innate desire for God (God, you have made us for Yourself) and nothing in this world will ever be able to fully satisfy us as God can (our hearts are restless until they rest in You). We are designed to seek after and look for God. But have we spent too much of our lives looking for happiness in all the wrong places, beguiled by the pleasures and enticements of this world?

Former atheist and famous Oxford professor C. S. Lewis summed up things well when he stated, All that we call human history—money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery—is the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.⁷ He also stated, We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.⁸

As St. Augustine also wrote, But my mistake was this, that I looked for pleasure, beauty, and truth not in God but in myself and His other creatures, and the search led me instead to pain, confusion, and error.⁹ We all share an ache for joy in our heart that longs to be filled by a Person who is not just loving but is Love itself. Diocese of Arlington Bishop Emeritus Paul S. Loverde addressed this when he stated, Young adults so often are searching for what will really satisfy the inner longing of the heart. Some among us—many perhaps, have come to realize, as did centuries ago Saint Augustine—that what our society tells us and models before us does not fulfill our longing. Yes, at the moment, it seems to fulfill and satisfy, but later on, we feel empty once again. ‘Is this all there is,’ we agonizingly ask? Yes, there is more—a Person whose name is Jesus Christ.¹⁰

Even when we ignore or reject God, God continues to draw us to himself so that we may find the fullness of truth and happiness we desire. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (27) emphasizes this: The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself. Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for.

As we grow older, we typically discover that we are most fully alive when we live in accord with our God-given conscience and moral values. We find that when we follow the moral law written in our heart and the teachings of the Church, we are not burdened by feelings of guilt and shame and we can become more than a slave to our human passions and desires.¹¹

For example, in today’s hook-up culture, many people come to feel guilty and unhappy about their sexual behavior. They hook up, usually feel awful afterwards, and have no idea why.¹² But they know something has gone terribly wrong. This is especially true after being repeatedly hurt and realizing that too often guys play at love to get sex, while girls play at sex to get love.

In other words, sex can become a means of self-gratification at the expense of another person. How many young women, in particular, feel they have been played and consequently develop a jaded view of romantic relationships? These effects of the sexual revolution have resulted in many people today yearning for real emotional intimacy and a committed relationship.¹³ The number of young adults, primarily young women, suffering from eating disorders, addiction, anxiety, and depression is at an all-time high.¹⁴ It is no coincidence that the top two prescribed drugs at most college health care centers are anti-depressants and the birth-control pill.¹⁵

Many people have found that poor decisions and destructive behavior result from failing to follow God’s guidance for our lives as found in the Bible and the teachings of the Church. As wisely observed by Cardinal George Pell, The validity of Christian teaching on sexuality and marriage is demonstrated in the wounds of those who do not practice it. Infidelity and irresponsibility do not bring freedom; they bring slavery, imprisonment to bad habits, and even addiction.¹⁶

Fr. Dwight Longenecker also observed:

The damaged lives we see when love goes wrong remind us why the church has such stringent standards when it comes to sexual sin. Catholic rules about sexuality are not random. The rules about sex are not a long list cooked up by old men in red robes in Rome who thought they should be party-poopers and stop everyone from having fun. Catholic rules about love and marriage are not arbitrary prohibitions. They are disciplines that protect marriage, protect children and protect men and women from being casualties in the risky battlefield called love.¹⁷

Mastering Our Passions

Christians, moreover, understand that sex is about self-giving, not self-gratification. Christians realize that God’s gift of human sexuality has two distinct and equally important purposes: life-making and love-making. Our sexuality is naturally about making new life and deepening a couple’s bond of love through their mutual self-giving and enduring commitment within marriage.¹⁸

The indwelling power and presence of God’s Holy Spirit enables Christians to overcome and not be controlled by our selfish and ultimately self-destructive desires, including unbridled sexual and romantic desires that often leave us feeling hurt and emotionally empty. Faith gives us the ability to become more than our pleasure-seeking human nature would have us be. As St. Dominic said in the thirteenth century, A man who governs his passions is master of the world. We must either rule them, or be ruled by them. It is better to be the hammer than the anvil.¹⁹

Some things about human nature never seem to change. God, however, wants to free us from all that would keep us captive to selfishness and sin. To sin literally means to miss the mark or to be off target. We all sin. We all do things we know are wrong. The problem with sin is that it moves us away from God and from our real purpose in life, which is to know, love, and serve God—the source of all goodness, joy, and truth—and to be united with God in the everlasting joy of heaven.

However, there is a great misconception about the Christian life. Many people—including many Christians—believe that Christian living is essentially about delayed gratification. In other words, if I put off fun and happiness in this life, God will give me a hundredfold in the next. But that is not (and never has been) Christian teaching. This is explained well in the following statement from the Archdiocese of Melbourne:

A willingness to do God’s will is built on two convictions. We have to believe that God loves us more than we love ourselves and that God wants our happiness more than we want it. In other words, we have to believe that God knows more than we do about what will make us truly happy. If God had given us everything we ever asked for we would be seriously unhappy. The basis of our desire to find and to do the will of God should be the belief that God’s will for us is our only chance to be truly and lastingly happy.²⁰

We do not have to worry about Jesus taking away our fun and happiness. Rather, we will find the true joy and deep happiness we are searching for in life through a prayerful and personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ together in community with other Christians in the Church. If we turn to Jesus in a spirit of repentance and humility, he will free us free from slavery to our sinful and hurtful desires and bring us true happiness and joy. For as Jesus said, I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete (Jn 15:11).²¹ How we can find true happiness and fulfillment in Jesus and his Church is what we will explore next.

Chapter 2

HOW DOES BEING A CHRISTIAN

BRING TRUE HAPPINESS?

Like St. Augustine and C. S. Lewis, many people find that when we open our hearts and our lives to God, the inner hunger for meaning and happiness goes away. God satisfies the deepest desires of those who believe in and have a prayerful relationship with God. Life with God ceases to be mere existence and becomes a thing of both joy and peace. Only in God does the human heart find the happiness it is searching for. Pope St. John Paul II expressed this realization beautifully when he addressed the millions of young people gathered for World Youth Day 2000:

It is Jesus in fact that you seek when you dream of happiness; he is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; he is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is he who provokes you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is he who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is he who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be grounded down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.²²

A number of modern scientific studies have confirmed that religious people are generally happier than non-religious people. For example, the Pew Research Center found that Americans who are highly religious are more likely than those who are less religious to report being very happy in their lives (40% vs. 29%).²³ And as the Washington Post reported on a study of nine thousand adults, "A new study suggests that joining a religious group could do more for someone’s ‘sustained happiness’ than other forms of social participation, such as volunteering, playing sports or taking a class. A study in the American Journal of Epidemiology by researchers at the London School of Economics and Erasmus University Medical Center in the Netherlands found that the secret to sustained happiness lies in participation in religion."²⁴

Educational psychology professor, international speaker, and veteran teacher Dr. Kathy Koch has identified five core needs that we all have in life.²⁵ A prime need is identity—who am I? Another important need we have is for security—who can I trust? A third need is belonging—who wants me? Our fourth need is purpose—why am I alive? And fifth, competence—what do I do well?

Meeting these five core needs is key to finding the happiness and wholeness that we all seek. As Dr. Koch writes about meeting these five needs, Trying to meet our needs in anyone or anything other than Jesus Christ can result in a temporary or shallow sense of wholeness, but not a long-lasting or authentic, real, actual, legitimate, true genuine wholeness.²⁶ Being an active and committed Christian is the best way to meet our five core needs that have been created by God and to find true happiness, as explained below.

Identity—Who Am I?

Our identity—how we define and describe ourselves—determines our behavior and is important to our happiness.²⁷ Many people define their identity in terms of their physical appearance, abilities, career, or material possessions, and this identity strongly influences what they do or say. But our behavior can easily become self-centered, and our identity can become rooted in pride when it is grounded in how we see ourselves or how others see us rather than in how God sees us.²⁸

Christian identity is grounded in the realization that each of us is a gifted child of a loving and merciful God (see 1 Jn 3:1). God’s love for us does not depend on what we do or don’t do. God loves us unconditionally, and no sin, no failing, no weakness can keep God from loving each of us like there is only one of us to love.²⁹

God’s deep and permanent love for each of us is even greater than the love of a mother for her child and the love of a lover who gives all for his beloved. The deepest need in the human heart is to know we are loved, and Christians recognize that we are deeply loved by the God of the universe. Catholic author Don Schwager addresses this in a daily Scripture meditation:

Jesus on many occasions spoke to his disciples about the nature of God’s unquenchable love. God is love (1 John 4:16) because he is the creator and source of all that is true love. His love is unconditional, unmerited, and unlimited. We can’t buy it, earn it, demand it. It is a pure gift, freely given, and freely received. God’s love doesn’t change or waver. It endures because it is eternal and timeless. It’s the beginning and the end—the purpose for which God created us and why he wants us to be united with him in a bond of unbreakable love. And it’s the essence of what it means to be a son or daughter of God the eternal Father.³⁰

The realization of how deeply God loves us enables Christians to overcome burdens of inferiority, inadequacy, or low self-esteem by helping us realize that our worth and value does not come from how we look, how talented we are, or what people say about us. Rather, we are valuable because of who made us. We are each God’s creation and are made in the image and likeness of God (see Gn 1:26–27). Our value, therefore, comes directly from God, and our worth goes