Thick & Thin: Thin Love

By Eden Butler

My love was thick.

Her faith was thin.

Somewhere in the middle is where life found us.


I claimed her when I was a boy.

I held her until I was a man.

She was my first thought every morning, my last smile at night, and a million memories in between.

Then one night, with her warmth still lingering on the sheets, Aly King walked away from me, from us, from our life.

They say time heals all wounds, but not for me.

Not when my heart is empty.

Not when there is nothing but a sea of meaningless faces wherever I go.

It always comes back to her.

Aly needs reminding of how drunk our love made us, before she forgets completely.

Before we lose our chance.

Before we are irrevocably broken.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Eden Butler
• Release date: Jul 25, 2016
• ISBN: 9781533756015

Book preview

Thick & Thin

Copyright © 2016 Eden Butler

All rights reserved as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior permission of the Author. For information regarding subsidiary rights, please contact the Author Publisher. 

Edited by Sharon Browning

Cover Design by Steven Novack

Formatting by Tee Tate

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental. 

The author acknowledges the copyrighted or trademarked status and trademark owners of any mentioned word-marks and references mentioned in this work of fiction.

SERENITY SERIES3

I loved this book! The hero is a tatted up Irish rugby player who has traveled to the states to play for college. Like the heroine he has a tragic past and when Autumn and Declan meet sparks fly! Nice to read a book that is anything but predictable. —Kele Moon, author of the Battered Hearts series

This book explores emotional heartache, but on different levels. It’s not just about romantic love, but about the love of family (and family takes on a whole new meaning. It encompasses friends, too). From disconnect to possible re-connect. From old scars that refuse to heal, to potential emotional mending. You’ll feel it, deep. —Maryse Black, Maryse’s Book Blog

When I read the first book, Chasing Serenity, I had a bone deep knowing that Eden Butler was a special author. Her ability to pull you into her stories - the world that she creates, the characters that she molds, and her ability to immerse you into the emotions of those characters – is nothing short of spectacular.

—Mean Girls Luv Books

This series is what made me fall in love with Eden’s writing, and has meant so very much to me. It’s been an honor and a privilege to read and review each one. And I’m happy to give Catching Serenity a blinding 5 stars! —The Book Junkie

thin love series 2

There is a bold mission when [Butler] puts pen to paper to grab our attention, open our hearts, and engage our imagination. Butler didn’t hold back with crafting these characters from different cultures, tossing in some major adversity, and challenging them to dig deep for inner strength. At the end of the day, Thin Love is hearty blend for the soul. —Michelle Monkou, USA Today

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Read [Thin Love] in one sitting! Without a doubt, my favorite dynamic of bad boy meets feisty good girl. Superb writing! —Penelope Douglas New York Times bestselling author of Bully and Until You

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"We LOVED this book [Thick Love] and would recommend it in a heartbeat!" —Totally Booked Blog

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CRIMSON COVE 2

Eden is continually proving herself in the ranks of every genre of romance, no matter the plot, type or setting, she will pull you in. Prepare yourself. —Trish Leger, best-selling author of the Amber Druids series

When the twists and turns started coming, [in Crimson Cove] I had to hold on tight. Mrs. Butler did not hold back in that department. Great job. —Jennifer Sons, Through the Booking Glass Blog

A wonderful standalone that will entrance you and captivate you from start to finish. I cannot stress how much I enjoyed reading this. #oneclicknow —Kawehi, Kawehi’s Book Blog

Crimson Cove is one beautiful, magical, amazing read that brought tears to my eyes, made me laugh, feel giddy, and let me experience the paranormal in a way I haven't before! —A Hopeless Romantic's Booklandia

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SERIES

Chasing Serenity, (The Serenity Series Book 1)

Behind the Pitch, (A Serenity Series Novella)

Finding Serenity, (The Serenity Series Book 2)

Claiming Serenity, (The Serenity Series Book 3)

Catching Serenity, (The Serenity Series Book 4)

Thin Love, (Thin Love Book 1)

My Beloved, (A Thin Love Novella)

Thick Love, (Thin Love Book 2)

Thick & Thin, (Thin Love Book 3)

My Always, (A Thin Love Novella) – Fall 2016

Swimming in Shadows, (A Shadows Series Novella)

Shadows and Lies, (The Shadows Series Book #1)

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STANDALONE NOVELS

Crimson Cove

I’ve Seen You Naked and Didn’t Laugh—A Geeky Love Story (September, 2016)

Platform Four—A Legacy Falls Novella (October, 2016)

Playlist

I Hate U, I Love U by Gnash Featuring Olivia O’Brien

Guardian Angel by Noah Gundersen

Grow by Kurt Travis & Paul Travis

Whiskey and You by Chris Stapleton

Burning House by Cam

The Blower’s Daughter by Damien rice

The Wolves (Acts I & II) by Bon Iver

Machine by Paul Travis

You Don’t Know What Love Is by Elvis Costello and Chet Baker

Barely Alive by The Jompson Brothers

What Are You Listening To? by Chris Stapleton

A Milli by Lil’ Wayne

It Was a Good Day by Ice Cube

Crazy Love by Van Morrison

Thinking Bout You by Frank Ocean

Hawaiian Words and Phrase

Brah – Slang for brother.

Buggah – (Pidgin) used when describing a person, especially a male.

Hâmau – Silence, hush

Kaikamahine – daughter

Kaikuahine – Sister

Kaholo – Type of Hula dance

Kanapapiki – Son of a bitch!

Ke Aloha – Beloved

Keiki – Child, Baby

keiki kane – Son

Ko`u Aloha – My love

Kunāne – Older brother of a female.

Ku`u Lei – My Beloved

Lolo – crazy/stupid, an insult.

Makamae – Darling

Makua kane – Father, dad, daddy

Makuahine – Mother

Makua – (For the purposes of this novel only) Short for Makuakane.

Nani – Beautiful

Ohana – Family

Pāʻū – Wrapped skirt

Pēpē – Baby

Pilau – Stinky

Creole Words and Phrases

Ala de traka – What a nuisance!

Anmourèz mwen – My love.

Bata – Bastard

Bèl madanm – Beautiful lady.

Bien – Good

Bonjou – Hello

Cheri – Darling

Dous – Sweet

Eskize mwen – Excuse me.

Fanmi – Family

Grann – Grandmother

Grosoulye – Rude

Joko – Imbecile

Kòkòt mwen! – Oh my sweet.

Kontantman – Joy, contentment

Kreyol – Creole

Lage’m – Let me go!

Manman – Mother

M ap viv. Et ou? – I’m well. And you?

Me zanmi – My God

Modi – Damn

Non – No

Oke – Okay

Orto – Ass

Ou ban m manti – You lied to me.

Pa manyen mwen! – Don’t touch me!

Pinga ou fè sa! – Don’t you do that!

Poupou – Shit

Rete – Stop

Sekonsa – That’s right.

Silans – Hush

Souple – Please

Tifi – Girl

Wi – Yes

Sak pase? – How are you?

Se te on plezi – Nice to meet you.

Shoushou – Sweetie

Author’s Note

One of my favorite readers, Sarah G., asked me once if I built readers up just to break them down. I do. I admit that and I want to tell you why: because fiction, more so than life, needs to make sense. I’m paraphrasing Twain, but it still rings true. Art—and I do believe fiction is art—is a reflection of the lives we lead. Life, as you all know, is messy and ugly and sometimes it seems insurmountable. But if I’ve learned anything in my forty-some-odd years on this planet, it’s that humans have an indelible capacity to survive. Part of that survival is garnering the skills you need to man the long road ahead. You cannot recover from heartache unless you’ve experienced it. You cannot mourn the loss of someone you care about if you first don’t know love.

So yes, I break you down. Every time. But I also promise to build you back up, to give you a story about characters who are a lot like me and you. They are careless and vain and selfish. They are cruel and sometimes awful. They are also passionate, loving, talented and willing to give everything they have to see their families happy and whole. I build you and them back up. Every single time.

This is the end of the road for Ransom and Aly. There will be one more small glimpse into Kona and Keira’s world later this year (a deleted scene novella that is just Keira and Kona, for charity) and then we bid a final farewell to the Riley-Hale family. They have been a blessing and burden to write. They have been a reflection of the life I once led and the life that could have been mine if I had not grown at all. I like to think I did. I thank God for knowing where I was supposed to end up.

For those of you who stuck by me, who believed that a cliffhanger could bring with it the promise of something very, very sweet, I thank you. Please forgive the struggle you’re about to read. Please know that despite the angst, the secrets, the stupid behaviors and the blinding heartache, there will be laughter, there will be joy. And please, always remember that unlike life, my characters will have happy, or at the very least, happy-ish endings.

Thanks for trusting me.

For my fearless tribe and their thick, thick love.

Table of Contents

Playlist

Hawaiian Words and Phrase

Creole Words and Phrases

Author’s Note

Preface

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty-One

Twenty-Two

Six Months Later

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Preface

Winnie Mayeaux was not impressed. Every month, without any fussing on her behalf, that woman, Aly King, expected Winnie and her husband, Kyle, to fork over two hundred-fifty bucks to keep their fifteen-year-old daughter, Clara, in dance classes. This was no hobby, not for Clara, not if Winnie had any say in it, and, of course, she did. That cost covered not only classes but extra lessons with Ms. King, as well, which guaranteed that Clara, no matter how much she bitched, would work hard to keep her spot on King’s competition team. They’d landed state titles two years running and Winnie was sure that would give Clara a leg up when she auditioned for LSU’s Golden Girls her senior year.

What Winnie and her husband hadn’t paid for was the spectacle they’d endured during the fall recital. Clara had performed, naturally, with the expertise that came from perpetual practice—all of it at Winnie’s behest. The girl had performed in four numbers, three of which she was featured dancer. But, Winnie guessed, as she moved uncomfortably in the plush seat, front center, front row in the large auditorium, Aly King didn’t give one fig about Clara or any of her dancers as long as she got paid. Well. Maybe the little Hawaiian girl. That child got special treatment because the girl’s parents, Keira and Kona Riley-Hale, were friendly with King; she was even some kind of glorified babysitter for them, if what Winnie had heard was true. And, it seemed it was true, since the ten-year-old had gotten her own feature performance with a row of grass skirt-wearing, lei-donning dancers. 

Ah. There she was, accepting accolades and flowers at the end of the show. The illustrious Aly King. Winnie guessed she was pretty enough—tawny, smooth skin that kept you guessing who her people had been, and bright green eyes, but her hair was a disaster, a mix of wild, out of control light brown ringlets that frizzed too much if she didn’t mind it—sometimes, Winnie thought, the woman didn’t mind her hair at all—with interspersing of dull blonde streaks, supposedly natural. Her butt, though, was simply just too round. Even for a dancer.

Somehow Aly had managed, for a time, to snag Ransom Riley-Hale, the son of Kona and Kiera. Couldn’t keep him though, not from what Winnie had heard from the other dance moms. College sweethearts never last, really, especially not ones that are so different. Ransom had celebrity parents but Aly King had no family to speak of; a dead mother and a father from Tremé who’d let Aly run off at seventeen. And it’s not like professional football players like the Riley-Hale boy didn't have loads of women throwing themselves at him; poor woman just couldn’t keep up. Sad really, Winnie supposed if she gave a single thought to King outside of the payments she expected and news related to her daughter’s lessons.

The stage had calmed considerably, the students backing away, letting Aly stand in front of the microphone, waving the crowd to silence. But suddenly Winnie’s husband sat up straighter in his chair, more engaged now that he had been during the entire recital.

What the hell is Ethan Willis doing up there? Kyle exclaimed as he moved in his seat, stretching his neck to see better as he realized his law office golfing buddy was walking up on stage to stand next to Aly.

Didn’t you say he’d been seeing her? Winnie didn’t need her husband telling her gossip she already knew, but he was such a simple creature, weren’t they all, poor things? She liked to let him imagine she gave a solitary shit about the things he told her.

Yeah. A few months now...Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Winnie leaned forward then, right along with everyone else in the auditorium as Ethan knelt down and held up a small Tiffany’s box in his hand. He opened the box, and Aly’s eyes went wide; the crowd hushed, listening for her reply. The quiet Yes that came didn’t sound all that sincere, not to Winnie’s ears. It didn’t look like Aly was thrilled at all, not like how women who are surprised by public marriage proposals are supposed to be. Her smile wavered as she answered Ethan. But the audience, the dancers on the stage, and the theater staff who had crowded around the couple didn’t seem to spot what Winnie had. No one, in fact, did. There was too much going on in the auditorium with the troupe of rhinestone and glittered-up dancers festooned in a myriad of costumes, all excited with the end of the show and the thrill of their instructor caught in an honest-to-goodness romantic moment. The stage too, was still backlit, with the Yankee New York skyline silhouetted in the back from the final routine of the recital.

Then the moment passed and the dancers pressed up around the couple, excited and giggling. Others came up on the stage, with Aly and Ethan received their well-wishers, nodding and greeting all those that bombarded them with congratulations, like some kind of royalty.

Suppose I should go give him my best, Kyle said, not waiting for Winnie to join him as he made his way down the center row and out into the crowded aisle.

All eyes stayed on the stage watching Aly and her new fiancé. The noise of voices and laughter in the auditorium was deafening and Winnie turned to fumble with her bag, searching for her phone to text Clara and find out if she’d gotten away from the backstage crowd. But when she looked up, Winnie was surprised to see that the Riley-Hale assembly, who had been sitting three rows back and been boisterous all night, cheering loudly for their daughter every time the poor girl was on stage, was now strangely subdued. Ransom, in particular looked as though he might be sick. Winnie couldn’t help but notice that the young man’s beautiful, dark complexion paled as his eyes stayed riveted on the couple up on stage.

Winnie snorted to herself. Men! Once a guy had been with a girl, he considered her his property, no matter how long ago they had broken up.

Really, men were so pathetic.

~~~*~~~

There is saltwater in my veins

A thousand moments of memory.

Ancient lives lived,

Sacred time spent.

I gave them to you.

Every recollection

Every instant

Every graze of my tongue on your naked flesh

Every exhale of my breath across your breast.

I gave them to you.

You forgot.

Me.

One

There she stood. On the stage. My Aly, forcing a smile meant to convince people that didn’t know her that she was happy. She wasn’t. I knew that because, once, she’d been like the afterthought of memory that lived in my dreams. No one knew her like I did.

My mother’s hand on my arm refocused my attention. She seemed able to do that no matter what disaster I’d stirred up for myself. Her surprise mirrored mine. After all, Aly was family. She belonged to us all.

Ransom, wait, honey. Just one second. Persistence was my mother’s greatest talent. Despite that tight grip, the paradoxical expression of calm on her face, I didn’t miss the look she threw my father’s way. It was a communication they’d perfected in the thirteen years or so since they found each other again—reading small cues in each other, subtle nuances they meant to keep from me, from my young siblings. It was practiced, perfect.

I still didn’t miss what that glance meant and could feel the unbidden advice before it passed from my mother’s lips.

Ransom... A quick shake of my head and she seemed to decide not to bother with softening the blow.

"Keiki kane... Dad started but I waved him off, noticing how he held onto Mom’s waist, guiding her, maybe, maybe insisting that she give me space with a touch of his large hand. Wildcat..."

No, Kona. We can’t just...

I tuned them out, disregarding the small bickering that went between them. It was always this way with them—Mom wanted to meddle, rescue, Dad wanted to let me sort out shit for myself. But there was nothing either of them could say here, now. Absently I knew that I moved, that the space around me had grown thick with motion. My mother held onto my arm, squeezing my wrist as I walked from the seat, from that stage and the sight of my girl being kissed by someone else.

Someone she’d said yes to.

Makana! my mother called out to my baby sister, who broke free from our visiting cousin’s embrace. Her ten-year-old face was grinning when her gaze met my mother’s, and when her eye caught mine, I made sure to slip a feeble smile across my mouth. Makana loved Aly. She was the girl’s teacher, but it was more than just that. Hell, they had a connection that went beyond me, and I wasn’t going to spoil this moment with my own messed up confusion and disappointment. So when Makana ran to us and threw her arms around my father’s wide neck as he lifted her up for a hug, I hung back and let her babble on with excitement that comes from being in the limelight.

It was, after all, Makana’s dance recital. Her powerful display of Kaholo dance had been a source of pride for all of us. It never had to be stated, but we Riley-Hales prided ourselves on family. Ohana, my father called it. The utter importance of never forgetting who lives in our hearts.

Ransom! Makana wasn’t going to let me out of being part of her celebration. She waved at me across the aisle, insisting with her small fingers that I stand in front of her. It had been months since I’d been back in New Orleans and when you have young siblings, those weeks add up. I’d seen Makana and her older brother, Koa’s, first steps, heard their first words. I’d experienced every learned skill that kids pick up despite my college football and then later NFL career. I was present. Always, even when I was thousands of miles away in Miami. Still, my kid sister and brother did things like grow and get larger without me knowing. Every trip back home to New Orleans marked another change in them. This time, I had noticed that Koa was taller, his shoulders wider, though he was still a little scrawny. The soft, round features of Makana’s face were diminishing, growing less baby-like, and looking at her reaching those long arms toward me I realized it wouldn’t take many more trips away before I wouldn't recognize her at all.

Soon it would be puberty for my kid sister. Soon, Koa would be into more than his Xbox and whatever social media site was taking his attention. All too soon enough, those kids wouldn’t be kids anymore.

Makana stopped wiggling from Mom and Dad’s attention when I stood in front of her, grabbing her hand. One glance at her face, at that lowering smile, and I knew my kid sister wasn’t just interested in knowing what I thought of her performance. "Did you see that Mr. Willis proposed to Aly? Our Aly?"

"I did, kaikuahine." I knelt in front of her, grinning at how her attention wandered, like most ten-year-old’s would. She looked over my head, at my side, elbowing Koa when he stood too close. The hint of theater make-up on her heart-shaped face made Mack little older than I liked.

She glanced at me, blinking fast, small flecks of eye make-up and glitter falling onto her cheeks to catch the light and sparkle playfully there. You gonna tell her congrats?

Think I should? I nodded to several fans as they passed me, but wouldn’t sign autographs. Not with my little sister wanting my attention. Not when my folks and little brother expected me to be just Ransom, not Ransom Riley-Hale, NFL player, when I was with them.

I don’t know. Mr. Willis is a nice guy. He’s always bringing her white roses and those fancy chocolates she likes. She shrugged as though those small gifts proved this Ethan guy was husband material.

Makana could charm a snake with one grin and her Pollyanna, ‘everything is wonderful,’ attitude. My mom swore she learned that from me. And I will admit, Mack’s grin had me forgetting that Aly had said yes—almost, until I thought of it again. A handful of months with this guy and she was already promising forever.

My sister wasn’t upset over the proposal. Why would she be? Everyone thought that Aly and I had parted ways four years ago. It was what she’d wanted. But that hadn’t kept me from going to her, begging to be with her again, or even just for a little while more if she’d have me. It was convenient to think that nothing but distance had changed for us. But that wasn’t true. We had changed, her most of all. Two years ago she stopped letting me inside her condo when I visited. It had been the longest two years of my life.

So chocolates and flowers matter?

Makana fiddled with my collar, ignoring Koa when he tugged on her pāʻū skirt trying to pester her. I don’t know, I guess. Glancing up at me, seeming bored already with the conversation, Makana turned away from me when one of her friends called her name.

As Makana moved away from me, my mind couldn’t keep from Aly, and what had happened tonight. God knows that I always thought there would be more time. We always promised to reserve time in our future lives, something that would always be on the horizon when Aly had her studio running smoothly and my career wasn’t so unstable. No matter where we went, even if we were apart, there would always be tomorrow.

At least, that’s what I’d believed.

A glance up at the stage and the burning knot in my gut only twisted harder. Aly soaked up the attention—here was my girl entertaining. That firm grin dazzled against the stage lights as this Ethan guy held her next to his chest, politicking for the crowd. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to imagine violent things done to his body. He was no giant, not like me. But the guy had charm, that much I could tell just watching him dote on Aly. He entertained too, chipped away at the veneer of happiness she wanted everyone to see. And the look he gave her? That wasn’t forced. How could I fault him for looking at her the way I always had? How could I hate him for falling for the woman who still filled my dreams, who still kept my heart pounding with the smallest thought of her? Still, on principle, I decided to at least be annoyed by this guy. 

"You mad, brah?" My kid brother stood next to me, arms crossed over his chest, mirroring my stance. Koa was thin, but still tall, coming close to my shoulders. Makana may have been close to Aly, but Koa was the reason she’d come around in the first place. My parents had been exhausted, worn out by their careers and the family they’d created for themselves after decades apart. Makana in utero was a burden Mom didn’t want anyone to think she couldn’t handle. But being heavily pregnant, working, and trying to take care of a little 18-month old monster named Koa took too much out of her.

Enter Aly and that amazing way she had for taking care of everyone.

She’d signed on to help out my parents and rein in Koa through the terrible twos. I’d managed to convince her to love me, as well, and in the process, she became family.

College, the NFL draft, her ambition, the struggle of being in love with me, we survived it all. At least, I thought we had. Until that October night. Until I could not convince her stay another minute.

No matter where I go, Ransom, my heart will stay with you.

Did she still mean it? If she did, how could she say yes to someone else?

She wasn’t supposed to stay gone. I wasn’t supposed to forget that she had. Life wasn’t supposed to get in our way. But it had. We’d let it. The arguments beforehand had been brutal—

Aly unable to watch my games at the end for fear of another injury, her being petrified that one more concussion would leave me damaged permanently. Her telling me I didn’t see her. That I didn’t give her the respect she deserved, that my success was more important than hers. The shouting, the distance, the disappointment when I continued to play, when she kept away from my games, when she’d had enough of me assuming she’d stay even though I didn’t give her what she needed. Before I realized why our condo was so quiet at night, before I noticed the smell of her perfume no longer lingered on our pillows, Aly was gone.

We tried. We came back together only to lose sight of how to maintain the life we’d wanted with each other. We tried again and again until, finally, we forgot to try just one more time.

You gonna talk to her? Just then, Koa seemed so much older than he was. Those narrowed eyes, the easy lift of his eyebrows as he watched me, like a man waiting. Like he knew I had a plan beyond what I’d told my folks I’d do: Remind Aly how much she loved me. Koa watched me, waiting, expecting me to give him a reassurance I wasn’t sure I could offer.

Maybe. I had no idea how I could. Was that even my place? To interrupt her night? Another glance at my folks—Dad talking on his cell as it kept ringing and buzzing with alerts and Mom speaking to her cousin Leann—and I realized that we were here, all of us, because of Aly. On the stage she twisted away from Ethan, doling out hugs and kisses as her students approached. She held center stage, touching those kids, laughing at them, those green eyes sparkling bright.

She belonged with us. I knew that. She always had, even more than a decade before when she first came into our lives out of necessity and stayed because she needed us as much as we needed her.

Ohana. Always.

Despite the small shock of the impromptu proposal, my folks walked up the aisle with my siblings tagging behind; I held back. I wasn’t ready to talk to Aly yet. I wasn’t strong enough. As I watched my family