Grace and Peace: The Healing Power of Faith

By Dr. Deb Hedderly

After Dr. Deb's miracle healing in 2018, she was inspired to add reflection questions and encourage women and men to use Grace and Peace as an individual or group Bible Study. Dr. Deb's ability to lead and teach others is truly a gift from God. You will see Dr. Deb exposed as a student of life through her tragedies and miracle healing.

You will be encouraged to ask yourself tough questions, those questions hidden deep in your hearts you may not want to look at or think about. Many times your hurt stays hidden because you don't want anyone to know, fearing judgment or ridicule. God wants you to come to Him and allow the rebirth of your shattered soul. Grace and Peace is an opportunity to connect with the Holy Spirit through your heart and mind.

This is a journey that will ignite a passion for healing and introduce some tools that are available and understandable for all. As you read about Dr. Deb's miracle healing, may you be inspired to never stop praying and asking for that miracle, for you never know when your prayer will be answered.

"Dr. Deb Hedderly offers the reader a glimpse into her personal journey as she encounters life's obstacles. Her deep spirituality helps her to meet each challenge with courage and grace. When life hands you lemons, pick up this book to find insight and comfort between its pages."—Dr. Laura Hyatt, Professor, Doctoral Program in Organizational Leadership, Pepperdine University

"Dr. Deb Hedderly asks honest questions that helped her during an unexpected series of events in her life's journey. Courage to ask ourselves the right questions may be the authentic salve needed when life deals us unwelcomed wounds. Join Dr. Hedderly as she walks us through her journey to inner peace. I believe personal discoveries that lead to hope and health may be found in the pages of this story of her walk of faith."—Dr. Heidi Scott, Learning Pursuits

"Dr. Deb Hedderly openly shares her personal tragedies and difficult relationships to show others how she is finding peace and contentment through it all. She finds her strength and courage through God's word that she eloquently quotes as we follow her unwavering path toward healing."—Dr. Carol Turner, MCC, International Coach Institute

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: May 8, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490877723

Dr. Deb Hedderly

Dr. Deb Hedderly has more than 35 years of leadership experience in the corporate environment and more than 12 years leading and mentoring women's groups. With experience as a Christian Life Coach and Organizational Change Consultant, Dr. Deb has appeared as a guest lecturer and facilitator for corporate and church events. She has over 10 years as a university professor teaching leadership, organizational change, and organizational behavior & development. Her passion is helping individuals discover God's purpose for their lives and then assisting them in the creation of a Life Plan. Dr. Hedderly can be reached at [e-mail].

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Copyright © 2015 Dr. Deb Hedderly.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-7773-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-7774-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-7772-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015906349

WestBow Press rev. date: 10/16/2019

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked GNT are from the Good News Translation in Today’s English Version – Second Edition Copyright © 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked TLB are from The Living Bible copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Quote from Og Mandino in chapter 5 is taken from The Greatest Salesman in the World (New York, NY: Bantam Books, 1981), 82–83. Used by permission.

Quote from Mark Batterson in chapter 11 is taken from The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 63. Used by permission.

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Chapter 1 :     Tragedy Is a Part of Life

My Identity

Stuck Between the Past and the Future

God Has a Plan

Chapter 2 :     The Heart Grieves

No Time to Say Good-bye

There Is No Why

Growing through Loss

Healing through God’s Strength

Chapter 3 :     Living After Loss

That Day Lives On

Grieving

A Year of Happiness

Chapter 4 :     Waiting on God

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing Begins

Faith and Endurance

Moving On

Chapter 5 :     It’s Happening Again

The Slow and Silent Destroyer

Faithful Endurance

When Life Isn’t Fair

Chapter 6 :     Survival Is Everything!

Finding My Purpose

Dreams

Adversity and Trust

A Glimmer of Light

Right Thinking

Chapter 7 :     Embracing the Darkness

Transition

Alone but Not Forgotten

Chapter 8 :     Footprints

A Woman Who Trusts God

Blessings in the Midst

Human Love is Blind

Chapter 9 :     Finding Contentment

Never Give Up

Joy Is a Choice

The Power of Worry

The Joker or the Fool

Chapter 10 :     Spiritual Growth into a Servant’s Heart

Parting of the Ways

Chapter 11 :     Establishing Boundaries

Personal Boundaries

Discipline Needs God’s Strength

Searching for Significance

Chapter 12 :     The Way of Transformation

God’s Tools

The Power of Prayer and Patience

The Science Behind the Healing

Epilogue: Living in the Fullness of God’s Miracle

Notes

With love and

gratitude to my friends

and family who encouraged me

to finish and publish this book.

You will keep in perfect peace

all who trust in you,

all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

Trust in the Lord always,

For the Lord God is the eternal Rock.

—Isaiah 26:3–4 (NLT)

Foreword

When we least expect it, tragedy can strike, and things are no longer familiar. Even our thoughts become unwelcome strangers. Who will answer our questions? Who will remind us that we can experience joy and happiness again when nothing is as it’s supposed to be any longer?

Deep within every human soul is the desire to be healed, fulfilled, and loved. It seems natural that we would search for the remedy to our desires or tragedies through other human relationships or accomplishments, whether they are professional or personal. In doing so, we realize we are not truly healed, not fulfilled, and not loved in the deepest capacity possible, and so there must be another way.

When Dr. Deb Hedderly approached me to write the foreword for her book, and being somewhat familiar with the subject she was tackling, I was honored and hesitant. After just experiencing five family deaths in less than two years and major professional transition in my own life, the hesitancy to read a book that would cut straight to the heart turned to more of a personal need.

Honestly, much earlier in the process when Deb mentioned her subject matter to me, I encouraged her but questioned what she could offer that others hadn’t already taught us. What inspired me about Deb’s book was how she processed her own questions and thoughts of loss, transition, grief, and disappointments in a way that provides a pathway of freedom through expression of transparency. Along this pathway she discovers one relationship among many that finally equips her to move past what many of us experience as being stuck!

Having served alongside Deb as her women’s ministry pastor and now co-senior pastor, it has been pure joy to be able to cry and celebrate some of the experiences she has been so gracious to share with me. I’ll never forget the morning of one of her surgeries when I was at the hospital and how deeply touched she was that I came there to pray with her. Having read her book, I now have more clarity of what had prompted the tiny stream of tears that flowed from her eyes. We can only guess what is going on inside of a person until a person is vulnerable enough to share his or her innermost thoughts with us. Deb does that in Grace and Peace.

Her ability to lead and teach others is a gift from God. She utilizes her God-given gifts of teaching and leadership in this book; but what she also does is expose herself as a student of life in tough seasons of tragedy. A good student will ask questions, and Deb asks a lot of questions—hard questions about life and love. These are questions many of us have as well if we take the time to quiet ourselves enough to formulate them.

My friend’s book is not only a handbook for healing. It’s a heart book and a mind book for shattered lives that have lost all hope. The pages soaked in Scripture stories and references open the reader up to consider a journey of faith that invites healing at the most intimate level possible. What Grace and Peace does is ignite a passion for healing as well as introduce a set of tools that is available and understandable for all.

Years ago a song titled Give Them All to Jesus was written by Phil Johnson and Bob Benson Sr. with the inspired lyrics, Wrap up all the shattered dreams of your life, and at the feet of Jesus lay them down. After you read this book, you will be inspired to lay down your shattered dreams at the feet of Jesus too as Dr. Deb Hedderly leads the pathway to healing.

Rhonda Baker

Co-senior pastor, Sin City Church, Henderson, Nevada (www.sincitychurch.com)

Preface

This revised edition of Grace and Peace: The Healing Power of Faith has been updated to include reflection questions for each chapter and an Epilogue detailing my illness in 2018. This book can be used as a Bible study, either alone or in a group. As you begin with prayer and an open heart, ask God what He wants you to learn from your time meditating on the questions and Bible passages. This is an opportunity to come before God’s throne to heal deep hurts. Through Jesus’s presence in our lives, we share our deepest desires with Him, for only He can provide the insight and discernment when we completely surrender to Him.

We live in a society of instant meals, instant communication, and instant gratification, wanting what we want when we want it. Spending time in prayer and reflection can be challenging for you. However, deep in your heart you know that you can’t hurry your spiritual development. This book is an opportunity for you to go deep into the Word and be fully present with the Holy Spirit.

You will benefit the most from the reflection questions if you are completely honest with yourself. We don’t like to look at the dark parts of our lives or the parts we keep hidden. This study can be an opportunity for you to seek a deeper relationship with Christ, or if you are a new Christian, begin a loving relationship with Him. Many of the questions are challenging. I encourage you to spend time in God’s Word and in prayer asking God for insight.

May you be blessed as you embark on this journey. I would love to hear from you if this book has encouraged you and made a difference in your life. You can email me at [e-mail] or through my website at http://www.hedderlylifecoaching.com

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His

Face shine upon you, And be gracious to you;

The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,

And give you peace.

Numbers 6:24-27 (NKJV)

Chapter 1

Tragedy Is a Part of Life

Forgive my sin, just this once, and plead with the Lord your God to take away this death from me.

—Exodus 10:17 NLT

Everyone experiences bad things. Usually it is one or two events in a lifetime that can be considered life-changing. It’s impossible to get through life without experiencing a tragedy that is emotionally devastating. If we aren’t experiencing hurt, we could say we aren’t living life to the fullest because risk can bring about pain.

As Christians and followers of Jesus Christ, we have the Bible to remind us that God is always with us. He is there to walk beside us as we face life’s challenges and rewards. He is not there to alleviate all of our trials, but to teach us how to have peace through the hardships. The apostle Paul reminds us in Ephesians 1:2 (NLT), "May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace" (italics mine). Only our faith and trust in God can bring us through what life throws at us. We are not capable of withstanding suffering and trials on our own.

We experience the cycle of life when our parents pass on before we do. How they pass determines how difficult it is to let them go. Their beliefs and our faith will help us to understand and accept their transition from here to heaven. Our children will face bumps and sometimes life-changing experiences as they are growing up. Some of their difficulties will be life-altering, and some will simply be normal bruises and broken hearts. There will be illness. There will be job loss. There will be the passing of a spouse or a close friend. Often we have only one traumatic episode to deal with in life, one event that is considered earth-shattering and catastrophic. This one episode may be the undoing for some, while others will make it through with the support of therapeutic counseling or by seeking comfort and encouragement from family and friends.

Although we may need weekly counseling and our family and friends to help us through on a daily basis, the Bible teaches us to come to God when we are faced with troubles. Psalm 46:1 (NIV) says, God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. It is God we need to learn to lean on when trials come our way. I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the LORD: O LORD, save me (Psalm 116:3–4 NLT). The Lord teaches us that He is ever-present in our sorrow and where we go when difficulties arise. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time (Psalm 34:19 NLT). God rescues us each and every time if we pray to Him and turn to Him for strength. Although the pain from loss, grief, and personal failure can wear us down emotionally, God promises to be close to us and provide the power, courage, and wisdom we need to get through our difficulties. As Christians, we can think that we shouldn’t be burdened, that our lives should be perfect, but we need to admit that we need God by our side and should be thankful for His redeeming love.

What happens when terrible things occur one after the other, when you think that nothing more can happen to you? How do you pick yourself up time and time again? How do you trust in God when you are torn to pieces? Some people have the strength within themselves to move forward. Some do not. Many reach out to God for His strength, and many do not. Some individuals succeed in moving forward with life. Some try and do not, and some never recover from the pain of loss, and are plagued with a lifetime full of sadness, defeat, and regret.

I happen to be one of those individuals who had emotional trauma in many areas of my life over a period of seven years. Once the suffering and pain started, it didn’t seem to stop. In fact, as I started writing this book, I was still dealing with life-changing events. I kept thinking that I couldn’t experience anything more, that these devastating trials had to be over, that there was nothing else for me to have to confront and endure. And as soon as I thought that, something else came around the corner and smacked me right between the eyes. This recurrence of life-changing events prompted me to tell my story, and it is the catalyst of my desire to help others through their grief. The repetition of events created my desire to share what I’ve learned and how I have been able to continually overcome adversity. But before I begin with my story, I want to reflect on a life that seemed almost picture-perfect.

My Identity

I was fifty years old and married to a wonderful man. I had two fantastic sons, owned my own business, was getting a doctorate, maintained a beautiful home, and drove expensive cars. Get the picture? I thought I had a life that anyone would desire. My drive for success, status, and wealth kept propelling me forward while pushing aside my family and friends and my God. I was searching for my identity while becoming a workaholic. Who was I? A wife, a mother, an employer? I was accomplishing my goals, but who was I becoming? I certainly didn’t know how to be. I never sat still. I did not spend quiet time with God, and I wasn’t praying. I rarely made it to my sons’ hockey practices or games, and my husband and I passed in the night. He was becoming the house-husband, and I was bringing home the bacon.

As I reflect on that period in my life, it is now a total blur. My sons were growing up without a mom, even though I lived in the same house. My husband was becoming more distant, but I didn’t see it. I was completely self-absorbed. But I justified what I was doing because I was accomplishing stuff. I was successful. I would be a Doctor of Organization Change. What is that anyway?

It was at this point that my life was shattered into pieces. My family was torn apart, and my children faced an event that would forever shape their lives. We experienced something that I never dreamed could happen, had never thought about, was not prepared to handle, and would turn my selfish life inside out.

Are you at that point in your life now? Are you so very busy that you don’t know what the meaning of your life is? Have you figured out what God’s purpose is for you? Have you been setting your agenda and taking the credit for your accomplishments? Do you think you are on top of the world, that nothing can rock it?

Or maybe your perfect world recently fell apart, and you now have to figure out how to pick up the pieces and move forward. Maybe you recently lost a loved one to illness or suicide, or maybe you are recently divorced. Do you have a child who has gone astray with drugs or alcohol? Are you recovering from alcohol or drug addiction yourself? Are you single, wondering if you will ever find the right man or woman?

If you are at a point where you need to find out how to overcome adversity in your life, if your life has been crushed and you don’t know how to pick up the pieces, or if you’ve tried to find comfort and feel empty and lost, keep reading, as you will find encouragement and faith through Jesus Christ, our Savior. It was through God’s Word, prayer, and trust that I went from devastation to exaltation, from self-pity to empathy, from narcissism to love for others. Only God had the ability to repair and rebuild my broken heart. Only through His grace and salvation was I able to pick up the fragments and find His purpose, calling, and direction for my life.

In order for me to seek God at a deep level and want to become a true disciple of Jesus Christ, my world had to come to a complete standstill. It happened when the breath was knocked out of me by an event that took place in March 2003, an event that started seven years of emotional devastation and was the tipping point in my sons’ lives. This event would be the greatest challenge that my sons would ever face, and it would take