Iron Chariots: The Road Home

By Cynthia Winkler

Returning to his old hometown of Benton was something Elias had avoided all his life. Now it was a call to duty and a chance to even an old score. Can he ride in and out before the older residents find out who he is? Will he find the truth surrounding his fathers death? Does he want the answers? Hes carrying a lot of baggage on his Harley when he rides into his past.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 13, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490821078

Cynthia Winkler

Cynthia Winkler is the author of three novels, including When the Manna Ceased and Iron Chariots. She also writes poetry and short stories to share with the First Draft Society in the Foothill Writer’s Guild and expresses her love for the Scriptures as a Bible teacher and as a volunteer in children’s ministries. Cynthia and her husband, Paul, currently reside in Fair Play, South Carolina, where they attend Earle’s Grove Baptist Church.

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Copyright © 2014 Cynthia Winkler.

Author Credits: Book One: When the Manna Ceased

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Cover Photograph:

M.A.C. Photography

Becky Macijewski

864-710-1968

ISBN: 978-1-4908-2106-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-2105-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-2107-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013923601

WestBow Press rev. date: 1/10/2014

CONTENTS

Prologue

Chapter One - The Abundance of all Things

Chapter Two - The Inheritance

Chapter Three - Numerous People

Chapter Four - The Forests

Chapter Five - The Hill Country

Chapter Six - In The Valley Land

Chapter Seven - Who Shall Serve

Chapter Eight - Portions

Chapter Nine - Chariots Of Iron

Chapter Ten - Clearing The Forests

Chapter Eleven - Not Enough

Chapter Twelve - Hunger

Chapter Thirteen - Far Borders

Chapter Fourteen - The Hills Shall Be Yours

Chapter Fifteen - Even Though

Chapter Sixteen - Inhabitants Of The Valley

Chapter Seventeen - Standing At Last

Chapter Eighteen - With An Iron Pen

Chapter Ninteen - I Know My Redeemer Lives

Epilogue

Pieces Of Silver

Dedicated to:

First and always, my best friend

and dance partner for life;

my husband, Paul.

Thank you for the late nights,

the exceptional advice, and the ride of rides.

To my big brother Ted, I’ll always need your approval.

My Daughters who bring sunshine to my existence

and their good choices in life mates:

Randi and Jason

Alanna and Daniel

To my grandchildren who have made life so much larger;

Garrett

Corbin

Daphne

Persephone

The list of people who encourage me

to write, continues to grow longer:

The membership of Earle’s Grove Baptist Church

who read the first book and are eagerly waiting for this one.

A special thanks to Tim Miller for his patience,

Becky Macijewski for the cover photography,

Carroll Elkins for meeting me on the bridge,

Vikki Oates who was one of the first to know

my secret desire to write and never doubted,

and Linda Sheriff my ‘Stand by Me’ friend.

DEUTERONOMY 28:47&48 NKJ

"Because you did not serve the LORD your God with joy and gladness of heart, for the abundance of everything,

"therefore you shall serve your enemies, whom the LORD will send against you, in hunger, in thirst, in nakedness, and in need of everything; and He will put a yoke of iron on your neck until He has destroyed you.

Joshua 17:14f NKJ

Then the children of Joseph spoke to Joshua, saying, "Why have you given us only one lot and one share to inherit, since we are a great people, inasmuch as the LORD has blessed us until now?"

So Joshua answered them, "If you are a great people, then go up to the forest country and clear a place for yourself there in the land of the Perizzites and of the giants, since the mountains of Ephraim are too confined for you."

But the children of Joseph said, "The mountain country is not enough for us, and all the Canaanites who dwell in the land of the valley have Chariots of Iron, both those who are of Beth Shean and its towns and those who are of the valley of Jezreel."

And Joshua spoke to the house of Joseph — to Ephraim and Manasseh — saying, "You are a great people and have great power; you shall not have only one lot,

"but the mountain country shall be yours. Although it is wooded, you shall cut it down, and its farthest extent shall be yours; for you shall drive out the Canaanites, though they have Iron Chariots and are strong."

Judges 1:19 NKJ

So the LORD was with Judah. And they drove out the mountaineers, but they could not drive out the inhabitants of the lowland, because they had Chariots of Iron.

Job 19:23f NKJ

"Oh, that my words were written!

Oh, that they were inscribed in a book!

That they were engraved on a rock

With an iron pen and lead, forever!

For I know that my Redeemer lives,

And He shall stand at last on the earth;

And after my skin is destroyed, this I know,

That in my flesh I shall see God,

PROLOGUE

The Iron Yoke

T he trial was over. The guilty verdict had been handed down. His father, Geoffrey Elias Benton III (Trey to everyone who knew him), had been in prison for less than a week. There would be an appeal, but the evidence against him was too great to think it would be successful. Thank God, he would serve his full sentence. Even if he were paroled, he would be known as a sex offender for the rest of his life. He was where he bel onged.

The family tree was definitely showing storm damage. Eli angrily threw these attitudes around inside his head trying to adjust to the new image of himself and his less than honorable blood relation. These painful thoughts had become his constant companion. Geoffrey Elias Benton IV was a name he was now ashamed to bear. Even his shortened version of Eli didn’t set well.

The sorted facts of the trial continually slammed into his brain like ice pellets shattering on a cold windshield. Each one delivering agonizing shame, but he continued to prod his memory, determined to come to terms with the horrible truth that he had fought so hard to prove untrue. His wife Carina and his son Elias deserved better than the angry man he had become. The truth had to be faced… Trey was a child molester. He had taken a little girl from the safety of the day care shelter to molest her. Then had taken her back telling the workers how he had treated her to a trip to the zoo, because she would be starting to school soon. Trey Benton was the owner of the mill where her parents worked, a deacon in the church, and he served on the town council. They believed him. He was a great philanthropist and benefactor of the town’s working class. There had been other girls too. That was the truth, as hard as it was to understand.

A benefactor, who provided a day care center for his workers at the Benton Textile Mills before it became a popular thing to do. The mill was one of the last working Textile Mills in the South, and it had survived because of his father’s managerial skills and contacts, both nationally and internationally. Eli continued with the agonizing process of reexamination, just as a dental patient pokes at the empty socket of a missing tooth.

Eli’s neck muscles stiffened with stress. His sinus cavities swelled shut as tears flowed down his face obscuring the road. The mixed emotions of pride in his father’s accomplishments and horror of what the man was fought inside him, and he struggled to stay in the moment. He roughly dried his eyes with the sleeve of his denim shirt, before he spoke to his eleven-year-old son, Elias, next to him in the seat of the truck.

I was determined not to do this anymore. You’ve had to see a lot in this last year. A lot of things you shouldn’t have to know about or try to understand. Then today, finding out about your Aunt Lu, that’s the worst. The filthy … Eli chocked off the words trying to control his vernacular before Elias. The thoughts of Trey using his own daughter until she was too old to satisfy his lust anymore caused Eli to pound the steering wheel, trying to expel the images from his mind, as Elias looked on with a shocked expression, not knowing what to say. Eli realized he was unloading too much emotion, so he straightened his back and sucked it up.

Sorry Buckaroo… can I still call you that or are you getting too old?

Elias relaxed a little and glanced over at his Dad. It’s okay, when it’s just us.

Forcing himself to put the trial to the back of his mind, Eli fought to change the tone in his voice, controlling the tremble… then allowing the calm to loosen his vocal cords. Tell me about your week. Deep breath… look normal… quick smile, Seems like forever since we’ve had time to talk.

Elias began to chatter,’ avoiding the subject he most wanted to talk about.

As hard as he tried to focus on his son’s voice, Eli couldn’t keep his mind from wandering back to the events of the past few weeks.

When the verdict came down Eli and his mother, Willamina, had gone to see his sister Lu at the sanitarium where she had been a resident since her fifteenth birthday. Originally she had been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, then schizophrenia, and later as bi-polar. A new name with each new doctor over the years, but no drug or treatment ever seemed to help. Some even drove her deeper into her seclusion.

Eli had crumpled like a rag doll in her arms after the consultation with the doctors. Lu had shown a few moments of clarity for him and, trying to console him, said the most remarkable thing. I’m glad everyone knows now. I don’t have to protect momma anymore or you little brother. He’s finally gone. Lu was patting his back. You’ve got to do great things Eli, for both of us.

Then she had grown silent, retreating into the private world that she had created for herself. Dr. Whittier, her current doctor, had high hopes that— with time and therapy— since the truth of her horror story were out— and they knew the reasons for her condition— maybe her days of institutional life would end. Eli had driven away from the clinic with a purpose to do what Lu asked of him. He was going to put their father’s disgrace and crimes against the children of this town to rights. He was going to do great things to heal the hurts that Trey had done. Maybe then, when the name Benton was mentioned, it would be in admiration again and not in hate and pain.

The admission of his father’s sins had dropped the weight of responsibility for the people of his hometown onto his shoulders. The mill that had been built before the depression by the Benton and Collins families had been sold to a big conglomerate at the recommendation of Trey’s team of lawyers as a plan for his defense.

The lawyers Trey hired believed that a change of venue could actually hurt Trey’s case. The jury pool, with generational loyalties and reasons to trust the word of the Benton’s, would have to be convinced, even beyond the traditional shadow of doubt, that this man could do so despicable a crime right under their own noses. To convict him was to admit they’d been duped. So, the mill was sold with the well advertized assurances that production would continue as always. It even raised sympathy in some of the town’s people that Trey was being railroaded and forced to sell out to afford his defense lawyers.

The legal plan was to keep the trial local so they would have more control over the jury selection. They needed ‘influence money’ to make that happen. After all Trey Benton would still wield a lot of weight in this town even if he wouldn’t own the mill. Sad to say their approach might have worked if it hadn’t been for the testimony of Marie Collins.

Marie started out her life as the youngest daughter of a local farmer and met John Collins at a tent revival. When they married and moved uptown, the young couple inherited ownership of the hill houses that overlooked the town, and were built by John’s family before the Civil War. John took over as the manager and later owner of the Collins Family Sawmill and Lumber Company. The new bride took courses at the local business school to help with bookkeeping and accounting, hoping to put the business in line with the new tax laws that were growing more complicated each year. Between that and producing a new generation to add to the family tree, she was running a household staff of one part-time, live-in maiden aunt. Marie had very little time to socialize.

Marie’s faith and her church were the things that sustained her in spite of her busy schedule. Always finding time to offer guidance to women in the church who sought her sage advice, it wasn’t an unusual request when the parents of a little girl in her children’s Sunday school class, asked her to question their daughter about her unusual behavior. After several visits, Angie confessed to Marie that she was Trey’s victim. Marie had courageously been the first to bring Trey’s activities to light, forcing the sheriff to investigate even when he had scoffed at her and the ravings of a five year old. At Marie’s insistence and threat to bring in other authorities, including the newspapers, the police had halfheartedly started picking at the evidence; if for no other reason, than to prove her wrong. The pink hair bow was the damning evidence they couldn’t ignore.

When they finally obtained a search warrant for a tool shed on the Benton estate the pink hair bow was found wedged between two boards in Trey Benton’s workshop. It wasn’t just a plastic clip easily purchased at any sundries counter; it was one of a set of antique rhinestone clasps that had been given to Angie by her grandmother for her fifth birthday. The testimony had broken the hardened hearts of the jury who had been convinced by the defense attorney that Trey Benton was a good man who was unfairly accused.

From the witness stand Marie pointed to a defendant who looked neither innocent nor remorseful. Then she told how a tearful little girl had produced the mate hidden in her treasure box and handed it over to her friend. Marie testified to this over the objections of the defense as hear say. But with the bows, and the testimony of the Day Care Supervisor about the special trips given to other girls on their birthdays by Mr. Benton, There was no lingering doubt left among the jurors.

A train, coming through at a crossroad brought Eli back from his inner thoughts to present day, and with mechanical like movements he eased the truck to a stop at the signal. Down shifting he looked into his rear-view mirror for cars behind him. What he saw instead was a stone-faced man with deep lines around a severe mouth and new gray in his hair. Who was this man now? This man that was looking back at himself from a place deep in an abyss of pain he wondered. The eyes that looked back at him from a hollow pit were eyes that held no answers. Existence had become a vacuum that was sucking the young, confident, Eli Benton into a hole that might possibly hold him captive forever. Replacing him with …

Daddy, the sound came from so far away Eli struggled to swim toward the musical quality of its resonance, Daddy, the train is gone.

Still staring into the mirror he noticed that the eyes that had been lost and vacant, briefly flickered with life, and Eli found the ability to shake off the shroud of anguish that had enveloped him. This was his son, his family, his life…life…and it was good. In that second he decided… that he would not squander another bit of that life for Trey’s sake. Briefly, he felt a little something like God must have felt on creation day. This was the connection that mattered above everything else, mattered enough to sacrifice for. He took that feeling into his center with a deep breath and expelled it with a small laugh.

Phased out there, didn’t I?

Yeah, you weren’t really listening to me before, but that’s alright, I know things are bad. You have a lot on your mind. Daddy, I heard the mill would close soon. Is that true?

Eli couldn’t keep the surprised look off his face. He and Carina made the difficult decision to put their only son, Elias, across the state line in Rabun Gap School to protect him from the sorted news stories that would come out during the trial. He supposed there was really no way to do that.

Eli shrugged, Yes, Trey sold the mill to pay for his trial with an understanding that when he was released he would continue to manage it until he could afford to buy it back. His conviction changed the agreement. The Corporation announced its plan to close production, even before Trey was sentenced. The closing will happen immediately to cut their losses.

This time it wasn’t only Eli that lapsed into thoughtfulness, both father and son took on a faraway look as they contemplated what the closing of the mill would mean to their hometown. Eli’s lapse didn’t go back to where he had been before, however; he had been on the edge of reason, and his determination to stop squandering his life on Trey’s transgressions held.

Reasonable thoughts prevailed now, and he knew that everyone connected with the mill was expecting it to close. If there is a change in ownership, not the expected close. If I can make it happens soon, Eli rationalized, no one will care who made it happen or why.

This time the change of ownership would be a secret, and it should happen without a ripple. Benton Mills, renamed Millhearst Textiles by the new owners, would remain Millhearst Textiles. Only the name on the deeds in the lawyer’s office would change. In the mill, no one except the CEO would know that the Benton’s, once again would employ the employee’s of Millhearst Textiles.

Trey, in spite of his faults, had been a good businessman and had hired good managers. His executives injected big city ideas into their little backwater town. When Trey had decided to retire from the daily activities of work, he put into motion a hierarchy system of management that proved solid even during the troubled days of his trial and a change in ownership.

Being officially in charge of the family estates he could liquidate some of the investments he had borrowed from his mother. Some of his own capitol and investments were also earmarked for liquidation. Everything was proceeding on schedule. The papers were almost ready for his signature. Willamina had reluctantly agreed with his plan, under the condition that he handled it himself. She wanted as little involvement with the town’s population as possible. He also had the information in the briefcase to read through tonight.

Maybe I won’t have to sell everything we own if the papers in the case prove as good as reported. Eli let his mind drift to pleasant speculations for a change.

The town’s already getting even with mamma. In their eyes she had to know what her husband was doing. In their minds she had pompously allowed his little sins as long as she could stay comfortably wealthy.

She had her big house and everything money could buy so she let him do as he pleased to our children, was the common statement among the town gossips. So he had been told. Willamina was surviving though, in spite of the isolation. Hoping that the worst was over with her husband’s conviction, Eli shuddered at the thought of how quickly loyalties could change; not only loyalties, but plans too.

Monday morning had started out to be a good day, the movie reel of his memory jumped to the prior date. In fact, his first thought had been about proceeding with the purchase of the mill. The conversation with his attorneys had been productive and he was starting to see daylight in his depressed emotional state, the way good deeds ‘lift your countenance.’ Then, before he had finished his coffee, or read his Bible, the message arrived that Trey wanted to see his family. At first he and Willamina had refused to go, but the lawyers had intervened and told them that it might be in their best interest to hear him out. Reluctantly they did something they had promised themselves they would never do again … succumb to Trey Benton’s manipulations.

In the early days of his arrest they had visited him often in the local jail. Eli remembered his initial outrage at what he considered a grave injustice to his whole family and was very vocal with his feelings when he arranged bail. Tearfully, he had welcomed his dad back home when bail was posted. They had even supported him during the trial, believing as the jury did that Trey was being unjustly accused for some unknown reason. They believed, until the truth could no longer be denied.

We couldn’t go back to that courtroom … not after Marie and Angie’s testimony; he continued to replay the drama. Not me, or Carina, not even momma, we never went back. I guess our absence was as incriminating as the witnesses.

Huh, did you say something Daddy?

No, just muttering. Guess I’m getting old. Hey, did you have a good breakfast this morning before I took you out of school? I hope so because the next meal I have planned will be a little late. Can you hold out?

Sure, what we doing?

Not telling. He shook his head dramatically, I want it to be a surprise.

They fell back into a companionable silence.

In the end, Eli had gone the day they transported Trey from the local jail to the state facility, vividly recalling the scene. Trey, handcuffed and dragging leg chains, tried to cover his head to keep photographers from taking his picture.

All pomposity drained, only anger was visible in his face.

The only other contact they had, until yesterday, was through the six o’clock news.

Eli had nervously paced inside the gray stone walls waiting for Trey to be led into the visitor’s gallery. Regret and dread building with each passing second. His mother sat stoically, with no expression, only a clinched determination showing around her jaw line.

Maybe it was the gray of the prison walls or the quiet that caused Eli to become aware of the changes in his mother for the first time. When had she let her Auburn hair go completely gray, he wondered? Noticing that it was only a few shades darker than the sensible pants and jacket she had chosen to wear over a white oxford shirt and black flat shoes; noticeable because his mom usually wore high heels everywhere outside the house. The only break from the colorless scheme of her clothing was the pale pink nail polish and lip color which was her only makeup. The look was a dramatic change from the vibrant colors she usually wore. Even with black clothing, or jeans, she accessorized with reds and bright colors. He remembered Carina telling him on her birthday that her preference was jewel tones, whatever that meant. Then Eli realized that his Mom was sending Trey a clearer message than any divorce paper ever could. Today, she was attending a funeral; his last rite. He and their marriage were buried. To her, Trey was a corpse that she would never be digging up again.

The prison officials had provided a secluded room for the interview, with armed guards and a court stenographer to record the conversation. What it boiled down to was Trey needed something. He needed his wife to plead with the warden for special considerations, and he was willing to bargain.

For the cops, he promised a list of all the girls he had molested, and names of several other pedophiles residing in Benton. For his wife, he promised to sign over all properties, stocks, business holdings and bank accounts into her name only. He would also sign the divorce papers that had been delivered to his cell without making her suffer through the traditional waiting period.

From Eli he wanted a promise of regular visits. In exchange he would give him a real estate venture he was involved with that promised to be very lucrative. If his impatient son (his words) could wait a few years to cash in; if he couldn’t it was still a valuable property that no one else knew about. If he refused, the investments would roll over into a hidden account that would never be discovered and therefore would be lost to all of them. He wanted at least one visit a month with his grandson, but they finally settled on one visit a year from Eli and visits with Elias pending.

He also promised an extra bonus if the bargaining led to a private cell. His life had been threatened and he was scared. Child molesters didn’t fair very well in prison. He begged and cried, he pleaded remorse and insanity and finally they gave in. The warden consented to extra protection and residence on a cell block that did not contain hardened criminals, weekly access to the library and work in legal counseling and accounting for the inmates. The deals were set, the papers were all signed, and the list of pedophiles was given to the sheriff. Willamina was a free woman with legal rights to everything Trey owned; that they knew about any way. Eli was given the account numbers and where to find the key to the deposit box at the bank that would explain the new venture. Everyone was happy, and then with a leer… he dropped the bombshell.

By the way Willie, Eli saw her cringed at the use of the hated old pet name, Here’s the bonus I promised. Lu doesn’t have a chemically imbalanced mental disorder like those quack doctors have been treating her for. She was one of my experimentations in the delights of little girls.

Leaning back with a studied look on his face as though imparting some important revelation, Eli thought it was incredible the amount of arrogance he exuded. When she turned five she was really eager to be daddy’s little girl. Trey smirked, our little games continued right under your nose, beloved wife, until she was about ten. Then she was too old; she didn’t have it anymore.

With a flipping motion of his hand, Trey dismissed Lu like he was throwing away a piece of trash. Eli watched him put that hand back on the table, feeling the beginning of nausea welling up from his insides. Eli didn’t think he could take anymore. His head hurt, his face and hands were cold as ice, and he couldn’t swallow or blink. He stared at the man he had called Daddy. If he could be still, maybe he could survive until this was over, but then ‘Daddy’ said one more thing…

What made her crazy was when she found out I had other little lovers. That’s what I called them, you know, my little lovers. The only thing wrong with Lu is insane jealously.

And then he laughed. The deputy nearest to Eli grabbed him before he could reach across the table to put an end to this despicable piece of human vermin, ignoring the shocked and fragile looking wife. But Willamina was closer to the target, and her reactions were faster than the unsuspecting deputy. Throwing her body across the table that separated her from her husband, she had gained the strength of temporary insanity. Before they got her under control her pretty pink manicured nails connected with Trey’s face as the chair he was sitting in crashed backward onto the concrete floor. One knee on his chest and one on the hard floor, she continued to hit and scratch the manacled prisoner with maniacal glee. When they finally pulled her off, she buckled and the guards found they were holding dead weight. Trey was picking himself off the floor on his hands and knees, still laughing. That laugh gave ‘Willie’ renewed energy and she got in a parting kick to his nose.

They led wife and son away, taking a silenced Trey back to his cell. He was bleeding from several scratches down his face and probably a broken nose. The prisoner wasn’t laughing now, but the sound of that laughter would echo in the gray halls of Willamina’s memory for a long time.

They spent Tuesday night in a hotel en route from the prison, picking at the food in the restaurant trying to decide what to do next. Eli believed that sleepless night was the longest he had ever endured. Mother and son drove straight to the clinic to see Lu the next morning. Eli wanted to drive to Rabun Gap to pick up Elias and get started with his plans to buy and renovate the mill, but it would be irresponsible to disrupt his schedule so Eli tried to wait.

Willamina was determined to stay in Benton, the hatred and shunning will ease off after a while, she reasoned. I can’t uproot Lu now that there is the possibility of a break-through in her therapy. Think of it Eli, she had said during the ride home from the clinic, what if they can help her and she can come home. I don’t expect Lu will ever be able to lead a normal life, but to at least function, to come home. It was the first ring of hope he had heard from her since the rumors had started to fly about his dad almost a year before.

Stoically she continued staring at the road ahead. Do you blame me Eli? How could I not have known? The little things now seem so obvious, but then…it doesn’t seem possible. If Lu can come home, I’ll spend my life trying to make this up to her, though I know there is no way.

Besides, I don’t have anywhere else to go. My family in Louisiana is gone now, my older brother’s son runs the farm and no way would I go back there. The looks and rumors would be worse than here.

If, or when, Lu comes home she may want to leave the house in Benton. That will be my decision maker. You and Carina should go, this is not going to be a good place for Elias. Take him somewhere no one knows anything about the Benton’s. Change your name; you have the money to start over. Just get out of this town. She wasn’t looking down anymore; she was looking straight into Eli’s eyes.

You’re doing an admirable thing buying the mill back for the people in Benton, and someday they will know and appreciate the sacrifice. But, you can’t raise a family here, not now, and probably not for a long time.

He had considered what she said. Everything he thought he knew about who he was, where he came from, and the very values he had built his life on had changed yesterday behind those prison walls. He had not truly believed his own father could do the things he had been accused of, not even Marie’s testimony had removed all his doubts. Not until he heard it out of his father’s mouth, confessing all his sins to buy himself a better prison cell. He shuddered at the thought. Leaving town though: it seemed like running. He had never cared about going anywhere else, living anywhere else, this was home. Where would he go? He couldn’t make this decision alone. This family consisted of three people. Everyone and everything had to be considered.

Wednesday evening started in his old room not wanting to leave his mother alone. Tossing and turning with self-conversations he finally got up and wondered into Lu’s room. It was still decorated in pale blues and lavenders, like it had been when she lived here. The room was a quiet sanctuary that suited Lu’s personality. He was actually nodding his head when a mind changing bolt of reality made him look closer at the room. Did it reflect Lu’s character? Or was the quiet reserve she had always projected a result of the trauma she had been subjected to as a child?

He strolled into the center of the room and noted the mark of a good decorator, unlike his old room that was overrun with dust-collector trophies and sports equipment. His room had no particular color theme; it was a hodge-podge of banners from high school and college. Lu’s room on the other hand could be photographed for a magazine. The sad difference … there was no evidence that anything here had been touched by a living, playing child.

He had cried again for the Lu that was spending the best years of her life in a psychiatric clinic. For the Lu he would never know, for the brother-in-law he wouldn’t have and the children she would never have. It was another unbearably long soul searching night. When the morning broke on the horizon he had settled on a course of action. Thursday morning he was pulling into Rabun Gap with a determination to let that be the last sleepless night he would spend in repentance of his father’s sins.

The first red-light on the out skirts of Benton caught them at the end of Eli’s replay of events. Trying to shake off the effects of flashback memories, he found he was as exhausted as he would have been had he physically relived the last six months of his life all over again. Maybe it had been a necessary cleansing. He prayed it was his last bath in that emotional cesspool. He was ready to leave it behind.

We’ve got one stop to make in town, and then we are heading for the lake. Wanna go?

The Lake! Elias burst out with excitement. This time of year? That’s great. Why are we stopping? Is Momma up there?

So many questions— I have to go in the flower shop for a second— I’ll be right back out. Have a little patience and you’ll get your answers.

Eli grinned at his son’s eagerness. The lake house had always been a favorite place for them and Elias’s excitement to go in the middle of January confirmed his plans to have their family talk in the seclusion of the old family house. That’s where they would decide to stay in Benton or move away. When Carina arrived he imagined the three of them in front of the stone fireplace talking about their future and putting the past… in the past… where it belonged. He was more eager for that than Elias had been to skip school this morning. If they decided to leave Benton, maybe they could go to Texas, back to Carina’s home state. They could still keep the lake house and make it a summer retreat.

He bought three dozen roses at a florist; one dozen he sent to his mom and another to Lu. The third, intended for Carina was in a box he would put behind the seat in the old pickup. The enigmatic cards that accompanied the roses to his Mom and Sister read:

"Q: How many Benton’s does it take to make a family?

A: It doesn’t take Benton’s. It takes people who love each other. We can call ourselves whatever we want. How about we call ourselves the Whalapa-Lu-Lu’s?"

It had been his pet name for his big sister. He knew it would bring a brief smile from his mom and Lu, as it had when they visited her, back when he still had kid vision.

It was a new day and a new start.

Carina had been a bulwark during the whole ordeal, refusing to leave his side even when her sister who lived in Texas had a mild heart attack. The day the trial was over he had insisted that she take a few days to go see her family and help out with the nieces and nephews, of which they had two of each. He and Elias could be bachelors for a while. It wouldn’t hurt them. Carina had left on Sunday after church. Monday the call from the State Penitentiary came, and the visit with Trey took place on Tuesday. Carina didn’t know about Lu, the visit, or any of his father’s sorted confessions, and he hadn’t called her. He wanted to tell her and Elias in front of the stone fireplace at the lake house, like he imagined; along with his plans for their future. He knew she would be home late Saturday afternoon. This was Thursday; he had a day and a half to prepare things.

Elias watched the door of the flower shop close behind his dad, and let out a deep breath. It was kinda neat that his dad was talking to him about adult stuff, but a little embarrassing. He knew that his grandfather had done something very bad to some little girls, though not sure exactly what, or why. He only knew it had something to do with sex. The worst part was the look on his Dad’s face…and the tears. He had never seen his dad cry before. He wished his momma was here. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. "What would momma do in this situation? No, not the tears: he rethought the morning ride. The worst had been the look on his face at the train tracks; that had scared him. He didn’t think his dad was even aware of anything for a minute there. It had been really bad. Then things had gotten better, and now, he seemed like normal, almost. It was sad.

He knew more about his grandfather than his dad thought he knew; there had been a lot of talk at school. Some of the guys tried to shield him and others rubbed his face in it, leaving newspapers out in the hall, or on the meal tables. Some shoved the articles under his door. He knew for example, that the town blamed the whole family, not just his grandfather, for the mill’s closing. He wondered if they could live in Benton anymore.

The truck door opened, startling Elias from his thoughts, and he vocalized his last conscience idea before he realized he was speaking.

Daddy, why are we going to the lake?

I thought it would be a better place to have our family talk, away from the telephone and prying neighbors, you know. I called your momma earlier, but she wasn’t at your aunt’s house. I left a message with your Uncle Dan for her to come out to the lake on Saturday instead of the house in town. We’ll get the lake house ready for her. That’s why I bought roses— to put on the table in the front alcove so she can see them when she first comes in the door. You know how she loves roses. We’re all going to have to be strong if we decide to stay in this town.

The two of them rode in silence until town disappeared behind them. We’ll stop at Sweeney’s Bait Shop to fill up the gas tank and pick up some groceries. How would you like to have hamburgers for a quick supper tonight, and steaks when your mom gets here?

Can we have chips with the burgers and a Coke? Elias asked excitedly getting into the atmosphere of playing hooky from school. His dad had picked him up before first bell this morning.

Eli smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever. Yeah, but we’ll have to catch our dinner tomorrow or go back to town. The worst was over. He was blessed with a good son, and his knockout wife loved him. Carina was the love of his life. With the grace of God he was going to make things better. Better for this town, for his mother and for his family, and maybe even for Lu, God help me, even for Lu.

Eli drove the old pick-up truck into the dirt parking lot of the general store and bait shop. You go in and pick out what we will need tonight and tomorrow while I pump the gas. Don’t forget about breakfast, and don’t get a box of that cardboard they call breakfast cereal. I want a he-man breakfast. Eli flexed his muscles then reached for the keys.

Elias hopped out of the pick-up before Eli could cut the engine off. He noticed that his dad didn’t get to pump the gas. Pat Sweeney met him at the pump and took the hose out of his hand, Let me do that for you, Mr. Benton — sir, his tone was almost a hiss, with emphasis on the Mr.

Ahh, come on Pat. You’ve always called me Eli, and I’ve always pumped my own gas. Why the change? Are you going to be like the rest of this town, putting the blame on me and momma for what daddy… Trey did? Pat, we played together as kids. You’ve slept in my house. Do you really think if we had any idea what was going on in our own home that we would have let it continue?

Eli dropped his head and stared at the ground trying to control his anger while his childhood friend stubbornly pumped gas without looking at him.

Don’t be a fool Pat. Don’t you think this isn’t hard for me too? I can’t even call him daddy anymore without choking on my own spit.

Elias stopped on the porch of Sweeney’s, waiting to see if he still needed to go inside for the groceries.

Look Pat, after what seem like a strained interval Elias heard his dad continue in a stronger tone. Carina’s coming home Saturday. She’s going to meet us at the lake house, and we’re going to take a little time to talk over all that’s happened. What Da… Trey, did to this town, as bad as it was, isn’t half as bad as what he did to our family. Lu was one of his victims too… we’ve got to find a way to live with that. Carina and I might not stay in Benton. It might not be a good place to raise Elias and the children we hope to have. I don’t know yet what will happen, but if I thought for one minute that even you, one of my best friends, had turned against me then… well I know we couldn’t stay. Eli’s voice broke with tension, like he couldn’t force any more words out through his clinched teeth.

Elias hurried into the store; he knew the grownups were having a conversation he didn’t want to hear. It was like at school when two of the upper-class boys argued. He always made himself scarce. It was a rotten scary feeling, and he hoped they would stop. He concentrated on the row of chips and candy that was on the first counter inside the store. Taking a bag of BBQ flavor and a couple of candy bars that he and his dad liked, he remembered whenever they came up to the lake house, that mom always bought paper towels and toilet paper, so he picked that up too and carried them to the counter. He looked out stretching to see above the bread sign that cut through the middle of the screen door. He had purposely left the solid oak door open and saw his dad still talking to Pat Sweeny. Other men had come up too. Some he knew by sight; others he didn’t recognize. He got that feeling again in the pit of his stomach and turned to go back to the cooler for drinks. Hamburger buns off the white metal rack, he checked off his mental list. The small containers of mustard and mayonnaise were on the next shelf and he snatched them up when they caught his eye feeling the need to hurry. He carried them to the counter and still no sight of his dad. Pat’s little sister Tonya was at the cash register looking as nervous as he felt.

Looks like you all are having hamburgers tonight. Tonya stated stiffly, absently trying to make conversation while glancing toward the window at the front. She came out from behind the counter to close the door, making the bell above the opening tinkle like a leftover Christmas ornament. The sound was familiar, but sounded dull and out of place in light of the dramatic activities outside. She didn’t come back to the counter, instead, continued to look intently out the small cut-out windows at the doors top. Her arms