Until the End: a Fight for Survival

By Jesús L. Gutiérrez

In 1985, when a small freckle on Fanny Gutirrezs cheek grew to the size of a quarter and turned dark brown, the young mother sought medical advice. She soon learned she had malignant melanoma, an aggressive form of skin cancer.

In Until the End, her husband, author Jess L. Gutirrez, shares her battle with cancer and how the diagnosis and treatment affected Fanny, Jess, and their two young sons. It narrates the familys very real and vivid personal experiences to show how the psychological dynamics influenced them during the nine long and uncertain years of their cancer battle. This memoir provides insight into this particular form of cancer and shows how patients can serve the scientific community by being pioneers in the search for a cure.

Until the End pays tribute to Fanny and demonstrates the deep love she held for her husband and her children. It communicates the life-and-death decisions she made in regard to her health in order to extend her longevity. Most of all, it describes how she never lost her willingness to fight against the disease until the end.

By writing about this distressing experience, Jess has remarkably transformed the death of his wife Fanny from a private, tragic event to an instrument to end his suffering and sorrow. At the same time, he has used it as a testimony to help others to fight this terrible disease called cancer. Foreword from Dr. Enrique Zuniga del Campo, Psychoanalyst

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: May 30, 2014
• ISBN: 9781491730751

Jesús L. Gutiérrez

Jesús L. Gutiérrez, PhD, earned a law degree at the Universidad Autónoma de Nuevo Leon and a PhD from the University of Texas in Austin. He is currently a financial advisor for a major Wall Street investment company in Laredo, Texas. Gutiérrez and his second wife, Leonor Garcia, live in Laredo.

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ISBN: 978-1-4917-3074-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-3076-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-3075-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014906010

iUniverse rev. date: 05/27/2014

Contents

Foreword by Dr. William P. Glade

Foreword by Dr. Enrique Zúñiga del Campo

Preface

Acknowledgments

1 The Beauty of Life before Cancer Hits

2 A Simple Freckle

3 The Birth of the Second Child

4 First Recurrence and Disheartening Prognosis

5 Fighting Cancer—Almost Three Years of Hope

6 The Return of the Crazy Melanoma Cell and the New Vaccine

7 Failure of the Vaccines

8 Traveling to the Frontier of Gene Therapy

9 The Impact of Cancer on the Family

10 The Last Battle

11 The End of the Journey

12 The Family Trauma Caused by the Death of a Loved One

13 The Impact of Nanotechnology in Helping the Scientific Community in the War against Cancer

Glossary

About the Author

To my children, Jesús Jr. and

Marco Antonio, with all my love

Foreword by Dr. William P. Glade

Two recollections, taken from years ago, serve to frame, at least for me, the remarkable tribute Jesús Gutiérrez, PhD, has written. The first memory comes from the happy years before the young couple began the troubled journey that lies at the heart of this memoriam—well before the first warning signs of cancer appeared.

Jesús was beginning his doctoral studies in the demanding program at the University of Texas at Austin, while struggling with the numerous pitfalls of the English language and the hurdles of quantitative analysis. In those days, as indeed later, the teaching of English as a second language was not well developed in the government-run primary and secondary schools in México, but he was determined to overcome the many linguistic hurdles—beside which the language of mathematics seemed relatively manageable. On one memorable day, he brought his lovely bride to meet his advising professor and to become acquainted with the extraordinary riches of the Benson Latin American Library collection, one of the special treasures of the university and a place where she could find much to read from México. I was struck by the enthusiasm—the real zest for living—this young woman manifested as she dealt with life in an unfamiliar and complicated environment, her classes in English at the local community college, and the demands of running a household, all while lending encouragement and support to her husband in his studies. Happiness and enthusiasm radiated from her being—along with abundant confidence in the future. The mutual tenderness of their regard for each other was unmistakable, and it reminded me of the feelings Puccini set to music in the first act of La Boheme, though Jesús’s bride had far more energy and bounce than Mimi ever exhibited.

The second recollection is much different, at least in what the circumstances call to mind. This beautiful young woman was still full of enthusiasm and charm, but she and her husband, who was then working in investment banking in Laredo, Texas, had come to Bethesda for consultation at the National Institutes of Health. Jesús called to tell me the purpose of their trip, and my wife and I immediately arranged to see them. We were living in Maryland at the time, while I was working at the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars and, later, in the federal government. We were heartbroken to learn of the cancer that had set in to disrupt the life and aspirations of this charming young wife and mother, but we could only admire, and hope for the best, when we saw how optimism and enthusiasm still radiated from her. And we, too, sought comfort in the knowledge that the NIH was a repository of so much medical knowledge and skill. What we did not then fully realize was how remarkably strong this beautiful young wife and mother would be to endure the dashed hopes and suffering that were to ensue. And even today we stand in admiration of the courage and unfaltering determination of her husband to seek out all that could be done to halt the progression of her illness.

Foreword by

Dr. Enrique Zúñiga del Campo

When I completed my formal education as a physician, psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst, I thought I had the necessary tools to manage the anguish and suffering of all the patients who approached me for professional advice. Soon I became aware that, when experiencing a great deal of pain and sorrow, religion and psychiatry offer very limited moral support. Addressing an impending death emotionally is a very difficult task.

What can we say to comfort a young widower and his sons of ten and six years of age when they have lost a wonderful wife and an excellent mother? How can we human beings help them understand that life is not fair and that what happened constituted a very premature loss?

Jesús Gutiérrez has lived through a very painful struggle of nine years, fighting the cancer of his beloved wife. Add the emotional impact of her death on her children, and he has successfully overcome this unique and tragic situation. What Jesús has written in this extraordinary and detailed narrative allows his sons to find answers to the questions they had but could not understand because of their young age at the time of Fanny’s death.

By writing about this distressing experience, Jesús has remarkably transformed the death of his wife Fanny from a private, tragic event to an instrument to end his suffering and sorrow. At the same time, he has used it as a testimony to help others to fight this terrible disease called cancer.

Preface

Almost everyone has been touched by cancer, but not everyone is compelled to record the experience and share it.

The reason for writing this book is to transmit my experience in the fight—the anxiety, the hope, and the frustration in confronting, for nine long years, that mortal enemy denominated cancer—specifically, malignant melanoma. My wife, Fanny, was the patient; I was her companion in battle; and the children were her reason to continue fighting until the end.

I hope that these notes will help the reader understand more clearly the anguish and the tensions that radiate around a cancer patient. During the time of illness, the instincts of life and death—Eros and Thanatos—will manifest intensely and will combine to generate crisis when one should become alert so that the instinct for life will prevail, even if only in the time of battle.

Tension and anguish, ultimately human characteristics, are intensified by the trauma. The uncertainties of cancer affect, in an extremely peculiar manner, the developing minds of children, as they must face the mystery of death of one of their loved ones. In light of such a mystery, I have always believed that an honest explanation—simple, brave, and humble—is better than a mantle or veil of sparkling illusion that deforms their reality. I believe a realistic explanation of the biological phenomenon of death helps us to better understand the final chapter of our lives and lessens the feelings of rage or self-guilt that are generated by this kind of experience. This is what I communicated to my children.

If it is true that sickness was victorious over my wife’s fortitude and, tragically, sent her to her grave, I am nevertheless convinced that a man of science, with the discipline that characterizes his hours of work in the laboratory, sooner or later will decipher the puzzle of finding a proper gene or a vaccine that will ultimately defeat this terrible and destructive disease.

Thanks to the research of Dr. Steven A. Rosenberg and others in the field, with the help of nanotechnology, the doors have been opened to great discoveries, and researchers are closer to finding the cure for many diseases, including cancer. In 1992, in Belgium, a physician found specific genes in 15 percent of melanoma patients, and this and further discoveries will aid in detecting a cure for patients with the same kind of genes.

In this book, I want to make clear that family support is of ultimate importance in the positive battle against the disease. Of course, a concerted effort must be made in research toward finding the best medical options at the time. No one can foretell what or where these options are. Finding them is the responsibility of the patient’s family. Investigating in