Falling Through the Cracks

By Gwendolyn Bernhard

There are many short stories and books written with an inspirational storyline. Which also includes the Holy Bible They are hard to believe written so that the reader follows the guidelines like an educational premise. Thus, the belief of the reader only last a certain amount of time, leaving them with a cycle of disappointment.

Falling Through The Cracks is a fiction trilogy dealing with events of characters during their daily lives. The book is based on a female main character in her 50s who fights sobriety over a five year period after her husband dies from a heart attack. She is surrounded by friends who try to help her. She follows their lead off and on for several months, then goes into relapse.
Finally she falls in love with her husbands best friend and they plan their marriage.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 26, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481718677

Gwendolyn Bernhard

Gwendolyn Bernhard started her writing career in Hollywood, California. She wrote stage plays and musicals. She was also married to Manfred Bernhard the creator of Big Boy, the icon for Big Boy Restaurants of America. They published The Adventures of Big Boy during a 25-year period. The book was a 16 page, four-color comic book for the children who ate at the restaurants with their families. Gwendolyn handled the membership club by organizing and mailing out the membership kit. While living in Hollywood, Gwendolyn appeared in major motion pictures and numerous television commercials and print ads. Throughout the years, Gwendolyn has learned from a life long study how to bring to light the spiritualization and inspiration of the basics of life.

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© 2013 . All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 2/25/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-1866-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-1867-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013903124

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S ANDRA WALKER, a beautiful, well-groomed, five foot seven widow in her early 50’s sits in front of her Doctor at his office. He looks at her with a frown on his face. I dislike telling you this, but we found a problem with your lungs. What do you mean? Sandra says in shocked, surprise. It’s an incurable infection called COPD, Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease. Cigarette smokers are the prime target. The symptoms include chronic bronchitis and emphysema. COPD makes breathing difficult. Stop doing what you’re doing and add a few years to your life, the Doctor advises. He writes her prescriptions for three inhalants. I’ll call the pharmacy for you, they’ll help your breathing. There is no cure for this disease, but living life well is possible." You have to deal with anxiety, breathe more efficiently, use less energy and protect yourself from infections. And quit smoking. Sandra leaves the office close to tears.

In her small immaculate one bedroom apartment, located in Tequesta, a safe, secure, community in South Florida, Sandra sits at the kitchen table and stares at the dark screen of her laptop. She wonders aloud if the disease only infects Afro-Americans, her native heritage. Sitting back in her chair, she scratches her dread locked hair, and listens to classical music. With a sad look on her face, she stubbornly lights a cigarette. Her thoughts wander to the past, a constant habit not easy to ignore.

After a few puffs, she lifts her hands over her head stretches her body and close her eyes. Within seconds, her Cocker-Poodle, Hope, jumps around the chair holding her favorite plush toy in her mouth. She wants to play. Instead, Sandra lovingly shoos her away, folds her hands as if in prayer and thinks of her son’s father.

When they met, he was a Staff Sergeant in the Air Force at a base, near her hometown in Michigan. Sandra had just broken up with her first boyfriend, Gary, after a long high school relationship. She was employed as a Long Distance Operator for a state owned telephone Company. Joseph was 28 years old and almost 6 feet tall, a giant of a man to her 19 year old, well-proportioned body. Sandra instantly fell in love with him. This would give her the opportunity to get away from her Mother who constantly put her down. According to her Mother, she would never make anything out of herself. She was sick of hearing these daily negative statements.

The other reason, Sandra wanted to get away was because of her stepfather, who would quietly walk behind her and feel her breasts when she was doing dishes at the kitchen sink. He convinced her that was something that Father’s were allowed to do. When she told her Mother in frustration what was happening, she laughed and told her to stop lying. On the other hand, Joseph encouraged her to find a career that would suit her talents. He felt she had more to offer than just being a telephone operator. From the age of 17, She never told anyone how she felt about what was happening to her. Besides Joseph, her closest friend was her dog Blackie.

Joseph asked her to marry him after a year of dating. With their modest income, her parents partially paid for a formal Military wedding. In her trance, she visualized the arguments between her parents about the cost of the wedding. It was a special occasion. She was still a virgin and proud of it. Sandra paid the remaining cost of the wedding and reception with her hard-earned savings. They said their vows at the base chapel. Family and friends attended. Except her older brother, who was in Jackson State Prison for burglary. She also heard from one of his friends that he was hooked on heroin. Instead of these negative thoughts, she envisioned her beautiful white wedding dress with a long silk and lace train.

A year later, Sandra had a healthy; 8-pound son that the happy couple promptly named Joseph Junior. Shortly after, Joseph transferred to Northern California. As soon as, they settled into an off base apartment, Joseph ended up deployed to Vietnam for a one-year tour of duty. Sandra and the baby left to fend for themselves. On the first of every month, Sandra ran to the mailbox to garner her meager, government housing check from Joseph.

To help make ends meet, she worked as a Hostess at a trendy beachside restaurant. With her vibrant personality, and good looks, she actually attracted more business. Frequent dinner guests, who had become friends, came every weekend just to see how she was doing with Joey Junior by having to live on her own. They also gave her large tips, whether they got the best table or not. This admiration led her to believe that she could work in marketing and sales. She worked for a short time on the phone for a telemarketing company. Their main business goal was to sell time-share vacations in the Bahamas. Immediately, she earned her hard won commission and weekly salary.

When Joseph returned from Vietnam, he was a very different man. They argued constantly especially when he smoked marijuana. He also suffered from nightmares, anxiety, sleepless nights, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, commonly known as PTSD. Sandra kept her day job but smoked with him to help him change to a mellow mood. She quickly became addicted to the substance. Within three years, Joseph had an early release from the Military due to cutbacks at the end of the Vietnam War. He stayed at home complaining to Sandra about hearing voices. During these nightly interludes, along with sexual trauma, Sandra’s coping skills became nil. To make matters worse, Joseph junior always cried in the background. After eight years of marriage, they divorced.

Sandra came to her senses after hearing a loud knock on the door. Who is it? she yells. A. muffled reply comes from the other side of the door, its Peggy. Sandra opens the door with a smile. Hey Girlfriend, come on in. Barking incessantly, Hope jumps around Peggy’s feet. She bends down showing a fair amount of suntanned cleavage. Her blonde curls frame her face. She rubs Hope’s head, you miss me baby, you miss me, she gushes. Hope shakes her head from side to side and runs to her kennel.

Peggy turns her attention to Sandra, Its time for you and me to go out and have some fun. Laughing, Sandra remarks, With the way you look in those skin tight leggings, stiletto heels and that v-neck shirt without a bra, no one will pay attention to me. When you were petting Hope, she looked like she wanted to breast feed. Oh, come on girl, you know as well I do that you’ll have a debt free evening, cause the men at the bar will want to buy you drinks, Peggy lamented. Besides that, it’s the season. All those folks from up North are flowing into Florida right now. You keep forgetting that I don’t drink anymore, Sandra wails. Right, but I do. Let’s go to the Hideaway. I need a couple of bottles of that new drink vodka ice in my system. Come on, it’s Friday, cocktail hour. Okay, you’ve convinced me. I will go and drink my ginger ale. Keep in mind; nothing will get in the way of my sobriety. And I need to go too the drug store to pick up prescriptions. No problem let’s go."

Peggy drove her compact car to a parking space in front of the Hideaway, an upscale, neighborhood, bar and grille, supported by local residents. When the duo walks in, the bar, the clientele greets them with a round of applause. Sandra wears a short leather skirt plus a buttoned down leather vest. Topping off her sexy attire are high heel shoes. Peggy whispers to Sandra as they head to the crowded bar, you see we’re still the salt and pepper queens of Palm Beach County. Sandra smiles.

As soon as they sit down, the Owner/ Bartender, Nick, places a small plastic cup in front of each of them. Whenever you’re ready Ladies, the drinks are on Angelo. "I bet he loves buying ginger ale.

It only costs a dollar. Sandra chuckled Where does that holier than thou attitude come from? Peggy says sharply. I just want my best friend to quit, drinking, Sandra muses. Why don’t you play the jukebox while I visit with Angelo? Peggy asserts. Looking around the bar and at the pool table, where four white guys are shooting pool. One wears a cowboy hat, tight jeans a denim shirt and expensive boots. Sandra realizes that once again, she is the only person of color in attendance. These people don’t want to hear my kind of music, she retorts Go ahead, play some Motown, Peggy smirks. These guys need a change from Country and Western. Maybe I need a change. With or without you I’m here three or four times a week." Sandra shoots back. She angrily slides off her bar stool and walks to the jukebox. Browsing through the selections, made her think hard and steadfast about the past.

After pressing, the button of a rhythm and blues song, the music starts playing; her body sways from side to side. Overall, Sandra plays twenty songs. She goes back to the bar. Peggy is so engrossed with Angelo she did not even notice her. Sandra picks up a refill of ginger ale and moves to an empty booth. Humming to the current song blaring through the speakers, she glances out the window at the starlit night sky, and smiles.

Sandra’s thoughts flash to her second marriage to Monty, a moderately, wealthy, Jewish man well known in the whole sell clothing business. She reminisces about them working together at their large showroom in San Francisco. During the four seasons, she modeled the clothing when they met with buyers from large, retail stores and outlets. They lived in Marin County a well-to-do enclave outside of San Francisco. As she flicked her upper lip, her memories carry her further into the past. Their three bedrooms home was complete with swimming pool, a view of the Golden Gate Bridge and the Bay area. The property was valued at $500,000.00, not bad for a girl from East Detroit, Michigan.

Joseph Jr. was eight years old when Sandra met Monty. She was so proud of him. He was very handsome and the spitting image of his father. Joey did not relate to Monty, he kept asking when his father was going to take him away from that man. There was never an answer. All Sandra could do was shake her head, and pour herself a glass of wine. In fact, when she was alone there was no problem for her to drink a bottle of Merlot wine and quickly smoke a pricey pack of Sherman Cigarettelos throughout the afternoon. This habit came