The Two-Body Problem: Miss Fortune World: The Mary-Alice Files, #5

By Frankie Bow

Professor Gwendolyn Jackson's husband sends her a voice mail from the road, telling her he'll be home soon. Just one problem...by the time the message was sent, he was already dead. 

When the police dismiss her concerns, Professor Jackson turns to her former student, Fortune Morrow, for help. 

Naturally, Fortune, Mary-Alice, and the rest of the Sinful gang are eager to solve the mystery surrounding the death of Professor Jackson's husband, who owned the French Quarter's premier joke and novelty shop, Jape & Jest. But the ladies soon find that nothing is as it seems in this case, and an unseen killer might have the last laugh. 
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: J&R Fan Fiction
• Release date: Aug 18, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386504900

Frankie Bow

Frankie Bow writes two mystery series: The Professor Molly Mysteries, and licensed works in the Miss Fortune World. Like Professor Molly, Frankie works in higher education. Unlike her protagonist, she is blessed with delightful students, sane colleagues, and an adequate office chair.

Book preview

Chapter One

RETIRED PART-TIME BOOKKEEPER Mary-Alice Arceneaux, recently-arrived resident of the town of Sinful, Louisiana (population 253), was having breakfast at Francine’s Diner. Sinful is a small bayou town, and Francine’s is the only restaurant in Sinful. But it would be a mistake to write off the tiny municipality as a place where nothing ever happens.

Mary-Alice was finding Sinful to be quite interesting indeed. She had purchased the old Cooper Place, right in town on the edge of the bayou, and the restoration of the historic building had been keeping her agreeably occupied. Mary-Alice’s cousin-by-marriage, Celia Arceneaux, had recently been elected mayor, having won an impressive number of votes from the deceased (a recount was underway.) Mary-Alice had made a few new friends in Sinful, and together with them had fallen quite by accident into investigating a local murder or two. 

And when Mary-Alice tired of real-life intrigue, there was Harriet’s Books, just a short walk from her house, to supply the murder mysteries she loved.

But Sinful had hidden depths of which even Mary-Alice was unaware.

The young woman sitting across from her, former pageant queen and current children’s librarian Sandy-Sue Fortune Morrow, was, in fact, an undercover CIA operative in hiding. Fortune had annoyed an arms dealer by killing his brother, and the agency had parked her in Sinful, which was the most out-of-the-way hiding place they could find. Fortune kept her mind active and her skills sharp by helping to solve local crimes.

Mary-Alice did not know Fortune’s secret. She thought that Fortune, with her detailed knowledge of weapons, warfare, and spycraft, was a very peculiar children’s librarian indeed. But then Fortune was a Yankee, and Yankees were a bit odd.

So when a stranger paused in Francine’s doorway, glanced around the crowded dining room, caught sight of Fortune, then sped over to their table, Mary-Alice was fascinated, but not surprised. The stranger wasn’t from around Sinful, of that Mary-Alice was certain. The woman’s hair was short, and its texture was natural. Behind enormous black-framed glasses was a round, pleasant face devoid of makeup. She wore an oversized black t-shirt with a picture of a spaceship on the front (the U.S.S. Enterprise from Star Trek, Mary-Alice found out later), dark gray leggings, and black high-top sneakers, a most un-summery color scheme.

Professor Jackson! Fortune exclaimed, and half rose out of her seat.

They told me I’d find you here. As soon as the woman spoke it was obvious she was from up north. I tried to call ahead, but I only had your address, not a working phone number. Please, call me Gwendolyn. I’m sorry to intrude. I know it seems strange, my dropping in on you like this. But I was hoping...oh, hello.

The stranger had just noticed Mary-Alice.

Despite her bright red hair, colorful flowered t-shirts, and the bejeweled reading glasses that hung from her neck, people tended not to notice Mary-Alice Arceneaux. Mary-Alice was not offended by this. To be inconspicuous was to be ladylike. It was a sign of good upbringing.

And it had turned out to be quite an advantage during Mary-Alice’s recent forays into sleuthing. Mary-Alice had come to think of her near-invisibility as her very own superpower. Naturally, she kept this observation to herself.

Fortune moved a syrup bottle holder from the empty place setting next to her and Professor Gwendolyn Jackson sat down.

Professor Jackson—I mean Gwendolyn, this is Mary-Alice Arceneaux. Mary-Alice, Dr. Gwendolyn Jackson. Gwendolyn taught that computer class I was taking out at Mudbug Tech.

I’m still teaching it, Gwendolyn said, with a smile. Too bad you had to drop.

I did enjoy the class, but things got kind of crazy.

I know, Gwendolyn’s smile faded. That’s why I’m here. I heard you saved a woman’s life out in Mudbug. Is that right?

Why that’s absolutely correct, Mary-Alice said cheerfully. And I can tell you that for certain because I was that woman. This young lady and her friends happened to be passing by at the time. I must say, I’m as thankful as I can be. Things might have gone quite badly for Celia and me.

I driving home from your class, Fortune explained. We saw an orange glow in the sky, figured out what it was, and drove over to help. We called the fire department on the way.

Well it’s an awfully good thing you pulled us out when you did, Mary-Alice said. By the time the firemen got there, bless their hearts, my entire house was a pile of ashes, and I dare say we would’ve been, too.

That’s amazing, Gwendolyn said. So you live here in Sinful now, Ms. Arceneaux?

Well, when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade, don’t you? I took the insurance money and bought the old Cooper Place. It’s right out there past the trees. It needed a little TLC when I moved in, but it’s a delightful place, right on the bayou. And I owe it all to Fortune, Gertie, and Ida Belle.

Fortune shrugged.

We were in the right place at the right time. Just lucky, I guess.

I’m hoping you’re still on your lucky streak, Gwendolyn said. I need your help.

Francine, the proprietor of Francine’s Diner, lured from the kitchen by the sight of a stranger, came over with a pot of coffee in one hand and a pitcher of iced tea in the other.

Good morning, ladies, she said as she refilled cups. Then to Gwendolyn, What can I get you, honey?

Coffee, please.

Ready to order? Or do you need a little time to decide?

I’ll just have coffee for now. Thank you.

Francine looked expectantly from Gwendolyn to Fortune to Mary-Alice but didn’t get any more information. Finally, she said,

Well, you let me know if you need anything.

She walked back to the kitchen, glancing behind her several times.

So how can I help? Fortune asked.

My husband just passed away.

Oh my goodness, Mary-Alice exclaimed. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss.

Were the circumstances of his death suspicious? Fortune asked.

"He