The Durabone Prophecies

By Frederick Douglas Harper

The Durabone Prophecies is a novel about human nature and human destiny. It is a multiplot story of romance, relationships, human emotions, and pleasure vs. purpose. Also, it is a mystery novel with predictions for the future of the Earth and the human race. Four riveting romance stories are intertwined and involve major characters who unexpectedly find love. The major plot and all subplots are related in some way to the main character and counseling psychologist, Dr. Franklin Durabone, who, after a near-death experience, commits to his destined purpose to write The Durabone Prophecies. This prophetic book by Dr. Durabone is based on the prophetic revelations of his mother, Mama Durabone, who sees alternative destinies for Earth and its human race through her visions and dreams. The story takes the reader to Paris (France), Washington, DC, Chicago, Virginia, and Florida. For the reader of The Durabone Prophecies, author Frederick Douglas Harper evokes intense emotional feelings, laughter, sensual arousal, nostalgic memories, intellectual debate, philosophical questions, and spiritual exploration. The Durabone Prophecies is a self-help novel, because psychological principles and messages are embedded in the story. Also, characters are subliminal teachers and role models of human imperfection and vulnerability as well as human possibility and hope.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Aug 25, 2011
• ISBN: 9781463415884

Frederick Douglas Harper

A full-time writer and speaker, Dr. Frederick Douglas Harper retired as professor of counseling in 2012 after 42 years of teaching at Howard University. He has authored 14 poetry books, one major novel (The Durabone Prophecies), textbooks, and articles. Harper has served as Editor-in-Chief of three different scholarly journals. Also, he has presented speeches and conference papers throughout the United States and in other countries—including Argentina, France, Greece, India, Ireland, Sweden, and the Netherlands. Since 1985, Harper has published more than 1,300 poems on topics such as social justice, peace, love, spirituality, human behavior, children, nature’s beauty, climate change, and human destiny. Most of his poems and creative prose are educational and therapeutic. A devoted jogger, Harper has jogged more than 42,000 miles. He is the proud father of two sons and proud grandfather of four grandchildren.

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The Durabone Prophecies

Frederick Douglas Harper

First Edition

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actualpersons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

©2011 Frederick Douglas Harper. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission ofthe author.

First published by AuthorHouse 8/16/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4634-1588-4 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4634-1587-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4634-1586-0 (sc)

Library ofCongress Control Number: 2011910242

Printed in the United States ofAmerica

Because ofthe dynamic nature ofthe Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those ofthe author and do not necessarily reflect the views ofthe publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author expresses his gratitude to Lonnie Rosenberg, artist ofSpiral, the centerpiece art on thefront cover ofthis book. Ms. Rosenberg’s e-mail address is [e-mail].

Introduction

The Durabone Prophecies is a novel about love, human nature, and human destiny. It is a multiplot story of romance, close relationships, family, human emotions, and human struggle with pleasure versus purpose. Also, it is a mystery novel with psychic predictions for some of the characters and for the future of Earth and the human race. Four riveting romance stories are intertwined and involve major characters who unexpectedly find love. The main plot and all subplots are related in some way to the main character, counseling psychologist Dr. Franklin Edward Durabone, who, after a near-death experience, commits to his destined purpose to write The Durabone Prophecies. This prophetic book by Dr. Durabone is based, in great part, on the psychic revelations of his mother, Ethel Elizabeth Durabone (Mama Durabone), who reveals prophecies centered on possible destinies for the human race based on her dreams and prophetic visions that have been transmitted to her by God and her ancestors. As the story develops, the novel reveals the realization of prophetic predictions for individual characters as well as the human race and Earth.

The story takes the reader to Paris (France), Washington, DC, Chicago, Virginia, Brazil, and Florida. For the reader of The Durabone Prophecies, author Frederick Douglas Harper evokes intense emotional feelings, laughter, sensual arousal, nostalgic memories, intellectual debate, philosophical questions, and spiritual exploration.

Along with being an entertaining story, The Durabone Prophecies is a self-help novel, because psychological and educational messages are embedded in the story. Also, characters are subliminal teachers and role models of human imperfection and vulnerability as well as human possibility and hope. In addition, The Durabone Prophecies is a story about professional counseling of clients who are struggling with human problems or concerns such as marital abandonment, interpersonal conflict, the need for love, alcohol abuse, sexual identity, intrapsychic conflict, and choice-making in life.

Preface

In the 12th grade at age 18, when I was asked to submit my career ambition for the high school yearbook, I indicated that I planned to become a novelist. To become a novelist was an answer that came to me without forethought or effort. Either my choice of novelist was something I believed to be nice to place in the yearbook under my photograph, or it was simply self-prophecy and subconsciously knowing my future path or script in life years ahead of time. I believe that such a spontaneous answer can sometimes represent our ability to know the future without knowing that we know.

When I became a school teacher, later a counselor, and eventually a professor, I gave little to no thought about writing a novel. Nevertheless, as a thinker, the spirit of writing was deep down within me. It was seemingly and partly the spirit of my paternal grandfather who was a writer, although his book manuscript was never published. I believe that this novel was destined to come from within me, but I had to wait on time and change. I had to acquire the necessary knowledge, experiences, wisdom, and spiritual insight to write The Durabone Prophecies.

In 1999, I began writing the novel, which is the same year that the story starts within the book. Intermittently and repeatedly, I would put the partial manuscript aside and start again numerous times over the span of 11 years. Across this period of on-and-off writing of the novel, I published a counseling textbook and nine poem books—in addition to the two poem books that I had already published. I asked a spiritual friend of mine why it was taking me so long to finish the novel when my writing of other books came easily or with much less of a challenge. She told me, You have to wait until you get the necessary experiences and knowledge to complete the book. I also wondered why I could not settle on a title for the book after considering about five different self-generated titles. The same spiritual friend told me not to force a title, It will come to you in time, and you will know it when it appears. Suddenly, after writing more than half of the novel, an acceptable title spontaneously came to my consciousness, The Durabone Prophecies. It was like an Archimedes-type eureka moment. I knew the title was right when it came to my consciousness as I was writing. After the destined title came to me without effort or analysis, pieces of the story began to come frequently in the form of dreams and spontaneous thoughts. I was amazed at how much more intelligent and creative I often was in my dreams or in the early morning when I awoke from sleep with multiple thoughts and ideas for the book. Sometimes, I was awakened in the middle of the night by thoughts that I felt compelled to write down. At times, I felt as if a spirit or multiple spirits were communicating with me via thought transference or telepathy about what to include in the book.

During various moments when I was intensely involved in writing the novel, I could feel the supportive presence of ancestral spirits as well as the Divine love of the Spirit of God that imbues all universal existence. Accordingly, I acknowledge and thank my ancestral spirits and the Spirit of God that made it possible for me to walk a path in life that led me to the creation of The Durabone Prophecies.

I believe that during my lifetime I have been shown the way of growth and giving, which I chose and which prepared me for my ultimate mission of writing this novel. I was always one who listened to and learned from others as well as from spiritual messages and thoughts that came to me. For example, in 1984, my barber, at that time, introduced me to her sister whom she said was a seer. The sister sat and looked at me for quite some time as I was getting my hair cut in the salon. Soon, she walked over and said several things to me that were accurate. Among these things, she said, As long as you do God’s work, you will be healthy. During the following year of 1985, I published my first of 11 poem books. Over the 27 years since that hair-salon prophecy, I have enjoyed excellent health as prophesied, and I have been quite productive in creatively writing about themes of spirituality, climatic change, social justice, earthly beauty, love, children, human nature, and human destiny.

On another occasion related to my path toward the creation of this novel, a friend and colleague asked me to have lunch with her and a young woman around age 30 who was said to be a gifted psychic or seer. During our lunch, I soon realized that I was receiving her thoughts repeatedly before she spoke them, sometimes receiving her exact words. This is seemingly what American prophet and seer Edgar Cayce called our ability to tap into the subconscious of others in a sort of thought transference. There was something about her spiritual energy that connected to mine or vice versa. Among the things that she eventually said to me, as the three of us sat for lunch, were "You have to write the book and you have to tell the stories. As I look back on that meeting, the book, I believe, had reference to this novel, and the stories have yet to be written. I believe that the stories" are the spiritual stories of my life’s journey that defy probability and science.

During the lunch with the young woman seer, she told me that she had something to give to me, but she didn’t know what it was. At the time, I had just completed a manuscript for a poetry book titled God’s Gifts: Spiritual Writings, that was about to go to press. I mailed a copy of that manuscript to her afterwards. Surprisingly, she mailed to me artwork that she drew from a vision that came to her when she was a teenager. She said that she received a message during the vision that in time she would be told what to do with the art. When I saw it, I liked it so much that I requested to use it as the cover art for my God’s Gifts … . I offered to pay her for the artwork, but she graciously said that she couldn’t accept pay for what was already mine and meant for me from the beginning.

What I am saying is that events, experiences, and choices along my life’s path prepared me to write The Durabone Prophecies. Diverse and abundant experiences gave me the necessary wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and spiritual insight for writing the story. My preparatory experiences included nine years of college-university study including doctoral and postdoctoral study, 40 years of university teaching and several years as a counselor, 40,000 miles of jogging outdoors in more than 120 cities among the miracles of life and culture, the writing and publication of 11 poetry books, a half million miles of traveling to most U.S. states and more than 20 countries, leadership and experiences in protests for social justice, a near-death experience at age 23, a myriad of cross-cultural interactions with other human beings, numerous hardships and challenges along my way, and many religious-spiritual encounters and thoughts. All of these experiences and more during my life’s journey prepared and blessed me to do God’s will of creating this novel about love, spirituality, human nature, and human destiny.

It has been said by those with knowledge of spirit that when one frequently sees the number 1111, it is confirmation that such a person is on the right spiritual path in life or simply doing God’s will. During the latter phase of writing this book, the 1111 number was brought to my attention quite frequently as displayed on clocks, TV, and public signs, especially during times when I was intensely working on the book manuscript or when I was finishing the latter chapters. For ancestral spirits who journeyed the writing of this book with me and for God’s protective and loving Universal Spirit around me, I say that I felt that presence and I am forever grateful and humbled.

The numbers 1 and 11 are prevalent within the novel’s story as what I refer to as The Numeric Prophecies. As I write this Preface, I realize now for the first time that I am publishing this novel after 11 years of on-off writing of the manuscript, after publication of my 11th poem book, and in the year 2011. I believe that my experiences from writing the 11 poem books helped to prepare me with knowledge, understanding, and spirit necessary to write and complete The Durabone Prophecies as it was intended to be written. I could have completed another writing project including a 12th poem book on which I was working, but knowing without knowing led me to finish this book after the significant number 11 (i.e., 11 published poem books). It is my belief that the 1 and 11 numbers will be prominent in this 2011 year, which is the eve of the Mayans’ 2012 prophecy. For example, a recent but unfortunate example of 1 and 11 numbers was the date of the powerful earthquake and resulting tsunami in Japan that occurred earlier this year on the date 3-11-11.

Now, as I prepare to send the typeset of this manuscript to press, I stand at the precipice of publishing what I believe to be the most important writing project of my life, but I cannot and will not claim all credit for my creation. I once heard Alex Haley, author of Roots, convey in a public speech that if you see a turtle atop a fence post, know that the turtle received help to get there. Within the context of this idea, I must share that I proudly stand on the shoulders of my ancestors. I acknowledge and dedicate this book to my ancestral forebears who live on within my DNA and my spirit. I acknowledge my mother, Reatha M. Harper, who was salutatorian in her graduating high school class, but who didn’t get the opportunity to attend college because of her responsibility to work and care for my sister and me. She was also a seer of future events, although she never used this gift for money. I acknowledge my maternal great grandmother, Elizabeth Stewart Harper, who married at age 13 and gave birth to 16 children—all natural births. She was a strong and special woman who seeded many trees that yielded many branches, flowers, and fruits. I acknowledge my maternal grandfather, Charlie Calvin

Harper, to whom I was very close as a young child until his premature death. He worked three jobs and sometimes took me to a job with him. My relationship with him was the beginning of my understanding of and appreciation for hard work and responsible manhood. Finally, I acknowledge my paternal grandfather, Daniel Emmett Hughes, who was author of a book manuscript, Utopia II, but who was never able to get his manuscript published. I believe that through me he still lives on, and his goal of publishing his book will soon be accomplished two generations later through the publication of The Durabone Prophecies by his grandson. As related to my grandfather’s idea of a utopian or perfect society, the latter chapters of The Durabone Prophecies present recommendations for an ideal global society that will be necessary to prepare the human race for survival and advancement during A New World Order, that is certainly destined to come.

Finally, I acknowledge and thank those persons who made contributions to the content of the story in some large or small way. I take this opportunity to express my appreciation to my university graduate assistant, Alicia S. Anderson, to doctoral student Donna Cerrio, and to Jacqueline T. Williams. They all read and provided meaningful feedback on the entire book manuscript. I extend special gratitude to Jacqueline A. Harper, who read most of the chapters and provided very valuable comments. Also, I am thankful to others who provided limited feedback on a portion of the manuscript or who recommended minor suggestions in terms of a character’s name or some other aspect of the story. These persons include Stephanie Collins, Renfred D. Harper, Vanessa Mizell-Small, Viara Quinones-Jackson, Tania Stennett, and Linda Terry. I also thank my spiritual friends Aasve Nesland of Norway, H. Grace Muftizade of Jamaica, and the late Edna Downey for their spiritual presence and ongoing inquiry and encouragement regarding the progress of my writing of the novel. Lastly, I express my sincere gratitude to my longtime friends of more than 40 years, F. Yvonne Hicks and W. O. Stone, who have always supported my writing and who were continual sources of encouragement during my work on the book manuscript of more than 1,100 double-spaced pages. I also acknowledge the lights of my life and the continuation of my life in my two sons (Frederick Vencil and Renfred Douglas) and my three grandchildren (Phoenix, Christopher, and Gabrielle).

I am indebted to my employer, Howard University, for granting me a one-semester sabbatical, which freed me full-time to complete the writing of the story during the winter-spring of 2010. During that semester, I wrote the first draft of the final 421 pages of the manuscript.

In The Durabone Prophecies, there are several romantic and spiritual poems embedded in the story—poems from my published poetry books. The credits and bibliographic notes for these poems are listed in the back of this book and include the page numbers in the novel where the poems are recited or read by the characters and the corresponding page numbers in the published books from which the poems are taken.

Writing for good purpose is my mission and my gift from God and my ancestors. It is my determination to be true to my gift within my lifetime, and I pray daily in thought and word that I can create more writings for the betterment and salvation of the human race. I trust that readers will find The Durabone Prophecies both entertaining and meaningful.

Frederick Douglas Harper

May 2011

Chapter 1

Denise’s Dilemma: Time Running Out

There are several barriers or challenges that create a catch-22 problem for me in terms of my meeting someone who is an acceptable prospect [for marriage]. [Denise]

Washington, DC, June 28,1999

Denise was punctual for her first counseling appointment with Dr. Franklin Edward Durabone. Upon being announced on the intercom by secretary-receptionist Doneta Nippon, she was escorted to Dr. Durabone’s private luxurious office, an office that he had maintained for some 10 years in his relatively lucrative private practice as a licensed psychologist. Mrs. Nippon introduced, This is Ms. Denise Kittrell. The new client and counseling psychologist greeted each other, as Mrs. Nippon closed the office door for counseling privacy. It was evident that Denise was hesitant about her first experience in counseling for a personal problem or concern. At 6’ 4", Dr. Durabone was quite a handsome man in his mid-forties with a Michael-Jordan appearance—athletic build, dark-chocolate smooth skin, chiseled facial bone structure, and closely trimmed hair.

Dr. Durabone extended his right hand in a customary handshake as an attempt to make Denise feel comfortable, I’m pleased to meet you Ms. Kittrell. Please have a seat, motioning for Denise to sit in any of four comfortable chairs that surrounded a cherry-finished, circular coffee table that matched the wood finish of his large desk that was nearby and facing the wall. The earth-tone comfortable chairs with coffee table presented a relaxed living room atmosphere for easy dialogue.

Dr. Durabone always made a conscious effort to make his clients feel comfortable and psychologically safe, especially in the first session or visit. This was important because most of his clients were professionals who were uncertain about counseling, and they tended to be anxious, if not somewhat ashamed, about being in any type of counseling or psychotherapy—very often for the first time. At about 5’ 6" in height, Denise found herself looking up at Dr. Durabone as she shook his hand. Although absorbing his image and mannerisms, she dared not comment on his height or otherwise, as this was a first-time meeting in a professional context.

As an adult, this was Denise’s first time seeing a professional counseling psychologist or counselor about any type of problem. She certainly was a little nervous and hesitant, because she just didn’t know what to expect. Dr. Durabone waited patiently and politely for Denise to take a seat as she chose a chair closest to the entrance. Seeing that Denise took a seat with her back to the door, Dr. Durabone took a seat to her left so he would not be seated directly across from her. He found, as research indicated, that sitting in front of a client was formal and distant. Also, it often made clients feel that the psychotherapist was staring straight at them if not through them as a know-it-all shrink.

Upon first seeing Denise, Dr. Durabone realized immediately that she was the type of woman who exuded mannerisms to his liking. Denise naturally radiated a modest or apologetic sensual presence in the body and movement of a young woman who was apparently comfortable with and accepting of her femininity and sensuality. Although Denise was attempting to present her reserved and professional persona, her sensual mannerisms and physical attractiveness inadvertently came through with her nervousness. Denise presented a warm and beautifully bashful smile that showed her dimples in both cheeks. She was an Indian brown or Lena Horne brown with that even-skin color, and her mid-length, black curvy-to-curly hair was natural, thick, and healthy in texture. Her childhood friends often commented to her that she had good hair.

Being naturally attracted to Denise, Dr. Durabone realized that she presented a challenge for him to maintain his composure, objectivity, and professional focus as her counseling psychologist. It was Denise’s breathing, the way she tensed and moved her body, the warm expression of her eyes, and the inadvertent and natural curling and movement of her well-formed lips as she talked and listened. Whether her energy was learned, innate, or both, it was a part of her disposition, her essence, her temperament, her raison d’etre as a live and breathing woman.

Although rarely, Dr. Durabone had indeed seen this type of sensual energy before, but never in a female client who was in one-to-one counseling with him. However, he did recall several phenomena over his 18 years of university teaching and his years of leading various counseling groups. Regardless of the fact that he was attracted to Denise’s image and sensual mannerisms, he could not afford to show such in any expressions of words, excitement, or body language. Nonetheless, he knew that a woman could usually sense if a man liked her in a special way.

Dr. Franklin Durabone had long maintained strict ethical principles about boundaries between himself and his clients and students, principles that were undergirded by his childhood Christian upbringing and his parental admonishments of right and wrong. The old teaching of don’t mix business with pleasure was stuck in his belief system and, thus, reflected by his superego. When a woman’s image and sensual energy really struck him at first sight, he simply would put up a mental stop sign. For example, he would become emotionally disabled by any possible thoughts of responding to what he perceived as sensual signs of interest from a client or student to whom he was strongly attracted.

Dr. Durabone was very seldom reminded by women like Denise that he was vulnerable to his impulses and manhood. Nevertheless, he stamped indelibly in his mind and thoughts that he was the ultimate professional who was also married. In addition, recent charges of sexual harassment at his university made him even more cautious about responding or reacting to any type of sexual flirtation or doing anything at all that could be perceived as sexual harassment or inappropriate sexual behavior with a college student or a counseling client.

Even though Dr. Durabone was prone to good professional judgment and ethical practices, he knew that any successful man who can be sexually attracted by a particular woman or certain women could very well be vulnerable to improper sexual behavior. As a man, he realized that at any point in his professional life that he could drop his guard and allow a professional relationship to change to a sexual encounter that could run amuck. Dr. Durabone felt as if the sword of Damocles hung over his head. Although he was blessed with money and handsome looks, he had to be very cautious when it came to an intimate affair that could spell professional disaster for him. He was reminded of so-called strong men of history who had succumbed to sensually irresistible and persistent women of beauty—cases such as Samson with Delilah and Mark Antony with Cleopatra.

Franklin Durabone was a serious man and very few females caught his eye or rather turned his head. Yet, this last client of the day on this first work day of the week was a rare d0ja vu for the doctor of counseling psychology, who, himself, had seen scores of beautiful female clients during his decade of therapeutic counseling and hundreds of attractive female students in his 18 years of university teaching. Yet, he was always curious as to who would walk through the therapeutic door or come to his first meeting of class at Capitol Hill University. As a scholar of human behavior, he remained fascinated by the diversity of human personalities and body types. Franklin Durabone had come to the hypothetical conclusion that each person, regardless of gender or ethnicity, had his or her own energy package. Some people were hyper and anxious, some sluggish and tired-appearing, some confused and drifting, some numbed and dull, some prone to anger and negativism, some inclined to complaints of others and things, some constantly seeking attention through talk and dress, some seeking power and opportunity through manipulation and ingratiation, some projecting the intellectual self, and some projecting the sexual self through their nonverbal behavior, language, and interpersonal style.

It was a little past 5:00 p.m. on this summer Monday of 1999, the only time of day and day of the week that Denise was available to come for counseling, because she had a full-time job, or rather was in medical training as an ob-gyn resident in a large hospital in the Washington, DC metropolitan area. She no longer was the risk-taking undergraduate college student or even the surreptitiously experimenting medical student who found a way and time for occasional excitement. As a full-time professional, she had become conscious of her dress and image, which led her that morning to her sparse but quality wardrobe in order to find a smart, claret-colored misses skirt suit with a hemline that touched at her knees when standing. It was a suit that she had recently purchased from Macy’s at the Pentagon Mall. The suit was well tailored from a polyester crepe fabric, and it respectably exposed the outline of Denise’s curvaceous hips that were partly covered by her dressy jacket.

While Dr. Durabone’s thoughts roamed spontaneously, Denise sat and adjusted her body to the contour of the chair, while taking in the ambiance of the office and the energy and image of her new counseling psychologist. After a quick study of Dr. Durabone’s face, she took note of his fashionable attire. She was glad to see that he wasn’t an old-fashioned, reserved, tweed-wearing Freudian type; at least, she felt that he didn’t appear to be. Denise thought to herself, "Yes, Dr. Franklin Durabone could be mistaken for a GQ model by his dress, height, and good looks." However, in his office setting, there was no mistake that he was the reserved intellectual whose seriousness could not be mistaken or matched—although his politeness and warmth occasionally made known his genuine compassion for people.

Dr. Durabone was conscious to keep his vision focused above Denise’s neck and not tilt his visual field downward to her caramel-colored, baby-smooth cleavage that slightly showed in the open space of her white, silk blouse. Although Denise dressed professionally and modestly by color and style, she was the type of woman who could not resist showing some skin and form. She simply wanted to expose, in a respectable way, what she prized as a gift of body and a positive and accepting attitude about every part of her body. As far back as she could remember, subsequent to pubescence, she had a positive, if not exaggerated perception of her physical self-image.

Once Denise was seated comfortably in the soft-cushioned chair and Dr. Durabone observed that she had no further comments or questions, he smiled and spoke in his usual caring but measured voice. I am here to be of help to you with whatever concern or concerns that you may have. This office is a safe place to share anything about which you want to talk. You can feel and know that whatever you say here will be confidential, that it will not go any farther than these four walls. After a pause to see if Denise had a comment, Dr. Durabone continued, Of course, there are limits to confidentiality by law, and those examples have been provided to you in writing by my secretary, Mrs. Nippon.

Changing his focus, Dr. Durabone continued, If it’s okay with you, could we start by your telling me how you came to this point or what brought you here for counseling? Denise took a deep breath to calm down. She nervously pushed her chest forward as she again adjusted her upper back and buttocks to the accommodating contour of the comfortable earth-tone colored soft chair with arm rests. With her feet planted on the floor, thighs touching, knees together, and arms crossed in front of her lower chest as a sign of caution and resistance, she began to address the doctor’s request in a controlled and deliberate manner. I came upon your Web site in my search for a professional counselor. I noticed that you are a licensed psychologist who specializes in helping persons with grief, relationship problems, and sexual concerns. There, Denise thought to herself, I’ve gotten that much out. Dr. Durabone again nodded in a manner so as to communicate listening and acceptance, while attentively waiting for more. After a long pause by Denise, Dr. Durabone spoke softly, You are telling me that one or a combination of these areas is why you are here today. Denise nodded in an affirmative fashion while gently tensing and tucking her lips as she searched for a verbal or rather oral follow-up to her nonverbal expression. Filling the silence, she stated, Yes, while appearing lost for additional words. Well, replied Dr. Durabone in a non-threatening and probing manner, Do you want to tell me about it?

By holding back, Denise was forcing her counseling psychologist to respond and nudge her to share her feelings and thoughts. At the same time, she was unconsciously or inadvertently buying time in order to feel him out and become comfortable with his presence before telling him her most intimate secrets. Moreover, she was tired from a long day’s work and tense from the drive to Dr. Durabone’s office in rush-hour traffic. Denise certainly needed a few minutes to catch her breath and acclimate herself to her first counseling session with a person whom she had never met. Mrs. Nippon had offered a hot drink or a soft drink, but Denise politely refused, thinking that caffeine would just exacerbate her hyped up mood.

Denise smiled and occasionally gave short answers as she attempted to buy more time before discussing her reason for being there. In continuing her diverting tactics, she commented, I love the soft earth-tone colors of your office—seem to be as peaceful as you are—I mean you are so tranquil and in control of your energy. A pause came, as if Dr. Durabone were expecting a different type of comment, for example, more about why Denise had come for counseling. At the same time, he was using unobtrusive silence in avoiding small talk with a client and recognizing her attempt to resist talking about her problem or concern. After a brief silence, Dr. Durabone thought it was appropriate to offer a thank you—with a brief smile, eye contact, and a natural head nod. He recognized that Denise’s personal comment could have been a genuine and spontaneous compliment about him and his office, and nothing more. Yet, Dr. Durabone wanted to keep his counseling focus on Denise and her concern, and not allow her personal comments to force him inadvertently into a countertransference response or a personal reaction to possible transference behavior by Denise, that is, Denise’s personal comment about his peaceful demeanor that she would more likely make within a social context or to a nonprofessional male acquaintance.

Dr. Durabone realized that Denise was waiting for him to comment further while concomitantly searching for what to say next in this uncomfortable beginning. After several minutes of frequent, awkward pauses and silent spots,

Dr. Durabone concluded that he needed to facilitate even more the therapeutic process or movement. He realized that there was only one hour to get information out of Denise, rather than allow her to engage in small talk as resistance because of anxiety or even due to a possible unconsciously motivated game playing.

Dr. Durabone broke the uncomfortable silence, I would like to hear more about you and which area of concern brought you here, that is, from among the areas of concerns that are posted on my Web site. Dr. Durabone, I’m sorry for a loss of words—I’m just trying to get comfortable and settle in after a long day and the big rush to get here. But really that’s not a good excuse for my not being able simply to talk. I’m just not used to talking about me or opening up myself; that’s not taught in medical school. For the first time, Franklin Durabone realized that Denise was possibly a medical doctor more likely than a medical student. He certainly would not have known, because he intentionally didn’t request personal information ahead of time. As a counseling psychologist, he didn’t want to be biased or prejudiced in advance by a profile of his clients. Rather he would allow them to share what they wanted him to hear.

Dr. Durabone didn’t respond to Denise’s medical school comment, but he did ask if her concern or problem was related to her professional work. After she answered, Not directly related, he continued, Well, take your time if you wish. As I mentioned, you can talk about anything that is of concern to you, but eventually we should talk about you and why you are here. Franklin realized that medical doctors often rushed from one task to another within a stressful work environment, so he thought about discussing this to relax his client; however, he thought further that pursuing such a topic could drift into social conversation and small talk and waste valuable therapeutic time.

During the silence after Franklin Durabone’s comment, Denise thought about what he had said in terms of her talking about why she was seeking counseling. She again adjusted her seating position to become comfortable. With crossed hands resting in her lap and a slight sigh, she began, You’re right; let me get serious about this. Denise realized that, in a way, she had been unconsciously or unintentionally toying with another handsome and successful male as she had done on other occasions in the past, while simultaneously trying to decide how to deal with this new and uncomfortable situation called counseling. She realized that she was now called upon to bare her private thoughts and feelings to a complete stranger, not unlike her female patients undressing and exposing their genital area to an ob-gyn doctor whom they had met for the first time.

Although Denise’s behavioral responses may have been unintentional or unconscious, they reflected an interpersonal style that went back to her college years. It was a kind of manipulative charade to elicit a smile of approval or verbal compliments about any of her many positive attributes, including her physical self. These were complimentary comments that so many men and even a few women had expressed to her in the last 10 or so years of her 28-year lifetime—comments that, to a degree, gave her a sense of rapport, comfort, and confirmation in a new relationship. Nonetheless, in Denise’s conscious and rational mind, she wanted to free herself from her sexual self and, thus, communicate more of her professional and intellectual self. After all, she was a very bright woman and a very serious, committed, and competent medical doctor in her specialty of practice.

Feeling that he didn’t want to pressure any client to share intimate information or feelings too soon, Dr. Durabone quickly intervened as he clasped his hands in his lap while leaning forward in a caring manner, Don’t feel you have to just come in here and spill your guts; you can just feel free to share anything you want to talk about in warming up and relaxing yourself; that is, as long as it is about you.

Denise exhaled with a concomitant smile of relief that projected her full and well-formed lips and perfectly aligned white teeth. What do you know about me; did your secretary share any information? Dr. Durabone replied, Only the basic information; we seek to ascertain whether you should come to us for counseling or go to someone else—I mean whether your concern is related to my areas of practice or whether you should go to some other professional counseling psychologist or helping professional. Franklin continued, I don’t usually seek background information, because I believe it’s best not to be biased by a profile or personal facts ahead of time.

Dr. Durabone paused in order to allow Denise to make the next move. He had learned in counseling psychology training and from years of practice that, at times, therapists have to just keep their mouths shut while their clients explore thoughts and feelings. This was an uncomfortable if not painful thing for Franklin Durabone to learn, because typical counseling professionals and psychotherapists tend to be college-educated persons with a need to talk and overextend themselves as helpers.

During the tension of another silence, Denise thought to herself. As an ob-gyn doctor, if I can expect female patients, on their first office visit, to lie on their backs with their legs open and feet in stirrups, fully exposing themselves to me as a stranger but a professional, why can’t I share intimate thoughts to a professional psychologist?

As Dr. Durabone contemplated making another facilitative or reassuring comment, Denise came forth straightforwardly in a clear, concise, and serious disposition, Dr. Durabone, let me stop beating around the bush and playing cat-and-mouse games of feeling you out and testing you or trying to relax myself by diverting myself from the real issues, especially since I am paying for your time. She continued, in the same serious manner, expressing aloud her previous but private thought, Dr. Durabone, I guess if medical doctors can expect first-time female patients to disrobe and expose their private parts for exam, then I should be able to disclose my personal feelings and problems to a competent professional psychologist such as you—right?

Dr. Durabone didn’t verbally respond to Denise’s rhetorical question, but only provided a very slight and measured head nod to acknowledge her statement. As a seasoned counseling psychologist, Dr. Durabone knew this was a time to be silent, because his client was about to open up and share critical information about herself; therefore, he gestured with nonverbal behavior and posture to demonstrate his attentiveness. Denise started out with her story and concerns, I’m 28, as of last October, a medical doctor who is doing my residency in ob-gyn—into my second year. Also, I’m single and live alone in an apartment in Washington, DC. After a brief pause, Denise continued, That’s a brief introduction to who I am and where I am in my life.

While Denise paused to think about what additional information to volunteer next, Dr. Durabone interjected, Should I continue to call you Ms. Kittrell or address you as Dr. Kittrell? Denise smiled and stated, Thank you; just call me Denise. I would like that. It’ll make me feel more comfortable in this relationship. Also, you are the professional in this situation, and I’m here to be helped.

Denise continued with a surprisingly open revelation, Speaking of help, I am here because I need to stop focusing on sexual self-stimulation so much, and rather start focusing on finding a husband and having children. However, first, I need to take time from a very busy medical schedule in order to find a suitable mate for marriage. I was hoping to be married and maybe pregnant by the new millennium, but time is running out; you know, we are about 6 months away from the year 2000.

As Dr. Durabone listened attentively and nonjudgmentally, Denise smiled with some show of embarrassment for being so abrupt and openly self-disclosing on the sensitive topic of sexuality and her need for a husband. Nonetheless, she knew of no other way to state her problem, as she saw it, except to just be straightforward about it or just to blurt it out. Even more, she had rehearsed how she would express her concern and some of the language that she would use and things that she would share.

Dr. Durabone remained attentively silent and neutral-faced as he nodded and maintained eye contact, occasional affirmative head nods, and appropriate uh-huhs. He continued to communicate that he was listening, understanding, accepting without judgment, and anticipating more. To avoid constant eye contact or staring behavior, he intermittently diverted his vision when nodding or commenting but never to appear distracted by looking around the room or focusing on Denise’s body parts other than her eyes or hands, that is, only if she was using her hands to gesticulate or emphasize. He would sort of blink his eyes naturally with the head nod, and focus away slightly for a fraction of a second into an abyss of nowhere as he looked away to avoid staring in her eyes as if he were looking straight through her to read her psyche and soul.

During the interstitial silence, Denise reflected on what she had already said, and then decided to provide her sexual history as a backdrop to her present dilemma. While cautiously choosing her words and pacing her self-disclosure, she continued, I came on my first period; I mean my menstrual cycle, at age 11. This beginning brought a new feeling of sexual awareness and anticipation. It was an awareness that my body was changing on the inside and outside. By the way, this was the same age that my mother started hers. My mother tried to protect me from the elements—boys, you know, and she did her best, which was good enough. She had me, or rather gave birth to me when she was 15, and she didn’t want to have me repeat the same mistake of an early pregnancy. So she sacrificed by working two jobs and sending me to a Catholic school, which was a very good private school. To help pay my tuition, I was also fortunate to get a scholarship for playing basketball.

Denise thought to diverge on the topic of her basketball career in high school, but, as second thought, she decided to stick with background information that was directly related to her counseling concern. It was a strict private school for girls only. Around that time, beginning in my early teen years, I found myself at home with my grandmother each weekday after school with nothing to do but study, while my mother worked her hands to the bone on her second job. I was restricted to limited TV and not allowed to hangout on neighborhood street corners like many other kids. I’m the only child, so I didn’t have any sibling to keep me company. My mother worked at a university at day. Then, she went to work part-time at a large hotel from 6 o’clock to around 10:30 at night, like serving at banquet functions and waiting restaurant tables. It was often 11 at night before she came home, which meant I was likely to be in bed and asleep—especially on weekdays. As a family, we did try to eat together on those days when Mom had time to come home before going to her second job.

When Denise mentioned that her mother worked at a university, Dr. Durabone wondered whether she worked at his Capitol Hill University. As this was a spontaneous and irrelevant thought for the moment, he quickly dismissed such and refocused on Denise’s nonverbal behavior as she contemplated what next to share. During the silence, Denise thought to herself how she had changed from a state of discomfort, upon first walking through the door, to comfort in spilling forth intimate details to her counseling psychologist. Once started, it wasn’t difficult for Denise to talk about sex, because she often fantasized and talked openly about the topic to people who had gained her confidence.

Noticing that Dr. Durabone was anticipating what she would say next, Denise decided to return to presenting her sexual history as a background to her so-called dilemma, Although I knew that a sexual urge was there within me all through my teen or private-school years, I really didn’t have real sex or rather I didn’t lose my virginity until my first year in college. I had just turned 18 when it happened. In other words, I was a virgin until I became a woman. Dr. Durabone noticed that Denise apparently took pride in holding out until she was 18.

Denise reflected on what she had said up to this point; then, she realized that she needed to qualify her previous statement. That does not mean that I didn’t find satisfaction to my teenage sexual urges at an earlier age. I actually spent much time stimulating myself while sitting and studying at home or while under the blanket or bedspread before dozing off to sleep. I say bedspread, because we really didn’t have the money to afford a top sheet like many middle-class people do and like I can afford to do now. Yeah, I know, middle-class people a lot of times use the word comforter or quilt instead of bedspread—but an inexpensive bedspread is all we had or all we could afford back then.

Denise was a warm, trusting, and smiling woman who could really open up and talk once she got to know and like a person. However, in doing so, she often realized that she had to catch herself when she diverged too much from the point, as she was now doing by going on and on about the lack of a top sheet and the quality of a bedspread. Anyway, getting back to my nighttime pleasure, I often rubbed myself to sleep; especially, when it was hard for me to go to sleep. Denise continued to reflect, often with a nostalgic smile and fantasizing thoughts of visual images retained in her memory, This pastime or self-stimulation became a habit for awhile and was used as a sort of sedative or a means of excitement or diversion from all my study and boredom.

Denise paused briefly and then continued. It was easy to stimulate myself and reach an orgasm, because I learned exactly where to touch me, how much pressure to apply, and the rate of gyrating of my fingers. Realizing that she was again getting carried away from her point, Denise paused, Sorry Dr. Durabone, I’m straying off from the point again, like the bedspread topic—I guess I got carried away with my sensory recall. Dr. Durabone spontaneously commented to assure her, That’s fine; it’s no problem; just say what you wish and how you want to describe or explain things.

Denise paused, as if she didn’t want to volunteer more. Dr. Durabone had been listening patiently because he knew, as a trained professional, not to interrupt when the client was in a sharing mood and mode. Dr. Durabone nodded during the pause as he waited a few seconds to see if Denise would continue. Then, as if Denise could not resist the self-imposed, self-reward of sharing nostalgic sweet memories, she continued, I even began to masturbate while relaxing in the bathtub—sorry I meant to say stimulate myself. By age 16, I found myself sometimes doing it like two times a day or at least once a day. I often felt guilty afterwards, but I thought to myself that I’m not hurting anybody else or hurting myself, and there was no risk of pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, or someone finding out. It was my own little sweet secret and daily anticipation. I really started self-stimulation, as I prefer to call it, at 13, that is, after hearing a couple of the more experienced schoolgirls discuss their pastimes and how they did it. They bragged about how great they claimed it made them feel. Denise reflected further, I even remember one girl saying, ‘Why do you need a boy when you can do yourself and control your own orgasm?’ Denise recalled with laughter, This girl joked about it being a designated orgasm, you know, like a designated driver or a safe and convenient alternative to a real boy.

Denise paused again, taking a deep breath while rubbing her thighs with the palms of her hands—then she realized the unconscious rubbing behavior and discontinued it. She paused as if to anticipate anxiously a reaction from Dr. Durabone, but the doctor only communicated that he was intensely listening and accepting without rejection by both head-nodding and uttering the usual paralinguistic uh-huh sound. With all the uh-huhs and head nods, Denise asked Dr. Durabone why he wasn’t talking more. He again explained that he listened much more in the first session or beginning sessions to get information and an understanding. He then assured Denise that he would eventually say more as he learned more. He didn’t want to allow Denise to engage him in a dialogue about what she had discussed or to force him to give premature feedback on her disclosures.

Being reassured, Denise continued, but tried to be more focused, To cut things short and get to my problem, I discovered boys at 18. Rather, it happened on my 18th birthday. I should say I discovered men or a man, because he was a doctoral student about age 24 who was a teaching assistant for my advanced algebra class. I began to go by his office with make-believe math problems, because I liked his smile, sense of humor, and warm disposition; plus, he made me feel comfortable as a lonely college freshman who was away from home. He was a gentle young man, and, as I look back, I entrusted him with my virginity, that is, not to hurt but pleasure.

Denise smiled intermittently as she reflected, nostalgically, back to her undergraduate college days. I liked to tease him with my tightly fitted jeans and T-shirts. Denise qualified her statement. You have to keep in mind that I was 18, and many of the girls this age dressed in an exposing and comfortable manner. Denise took a few seconds to regain her train of thought. At the same time, she felt she had to be careful not to lead Dr. Durabone to think that she was a little seductive slut, when she was really a curious virgin girl who was about to become a woman in age and experience. Dr. Durabone sensed her reservation and felt the need to assure her that she didn’t have to rush and that she could feel free to say whatever she wanted to say. He also commented that such feelings and exploratory behaviors were normal for a young person of her college age.

Feeling better about her story, Denise reminisced further with a smile. One teasing day at his office, I gave him a hint, you know, the type with a flirtatious smile and words that could be taken either way or rather any way. I suggested to him my willingness for sexual adventure by telling him that I needed something special for my 18th birthday, something like a ‘first-time experience.’ Denise recollected for a few seconds before continuing. About a week later, after class one day, he invited me to come to his apartment, on campus, and that he would help me with my advanced algebra. He said he knew I had potential to go on to graduate school. I think that was his excuse to follow-up on my teasing comments and actually get me over to his apartment to test if this flirtation was for real.

Observing a long pause, Dr. Durabone commented, Do you wish to continue? He didn’t want Denise to feel she was rejected for being a normal sexual being and for sharing such. Therefore, Denise, not being able to resist completing the nostalgic story, continued. Anyway, he gave me his phone number and told me to call if I needed him. He used these exact words with a seductive smile, ‘Now, don’t forget to call if you need me.’ The week before my birthday, I did call and asked him if he could help me with algebra on the ensuing Saturday afternoon. Unknowing to him in advance, this was the day and date of my 18th birthday. He knew I had a birthday coming, but I never told him the exact date until I got to his apartment.

Then, with a pleasurable smile on her face, Denise contemplated and reflected as to whether or what else she wanted to say. Dr. Durabone, perceiving that Denise was at a crossroad, facilitated things by reflecting on her last point of departure, So you did go by on your birthday? Still smiling, Denise responded in a trancelike state as if she were talking to herself, It was wonderful. We did end up doing it, and he was so gentle, romantic, and caring like I knew he would be. Then, observing that Dr. Durabone wasn’t prying and seemingly accepting her wish not to share intimate details, Denise stated, I would like to relive the experience now, but I’ll choose to get back to my problem to explain how my history lead to where I am now with relationships. Denise paused, and then added, After I told him it was my birthday and before we did anything, he rushed out to get a cake and flowers for me. As my mother insisted in her pregnancy-prevention lectures throughout my adolescence, I brought condoms with me and insisted that we use them.

Denise wrapped up this segment of her sexual history by concluding, I should at least say that his name is Charles for your purposes of knowing who I’m talking about in case I mention his name again or I mention the experience, but I rather not give you his full name for the sake of his privacy. Dr. Durabone told Denise that names were not important and reassured her that he would keep such stories confidential. Again Denise, it’s okay to share whatever you feel comfortable in sharing. Denise acknowledged Dr. Durabone’s comment about confidentiality by affirmatively shaking her head and saying okay; then she finished the Charles episode by mentioning that he completed his doctorate during her junior year in college, moved out West to take a job at a university in California, and had gotten married. We saw each other for two years before he graduated. It was I who cut off the relationship, because, as a junior in college, I was too young to even think about marriage. He wanted children right away, and I wanted to become a medical doctor.

In her mind, Denise felt that she needed to continue with her background as a means of leading up to her present dilemma. Regarding this whole dilemma thing, there is another aspect of my sexual history that I want to claim but not discuss in detail. Dr. Durabone didn’t want to continue the repetitive um huhs, so he simply said, Okay, that’s fine.

After a brief period of silence as if summoning her emotional energy, Denise revealed, During my last year of undergraduate college, while living on campus, I discovered the pleasure of being with a girl, or rather a young woman, age 20. She took a deep breath while observing for any reaction by Dr. Durabone, which she found to be no different from his previous attentive and non-reactive manner. I was 21 then, and we both shared a room on campus in one of the residence halls. It was a spontaneous thing that just happened one night when we were drinking wine and playing around with sex toys. Dr. Durabone gave a nod and uh-huh to let Denise know that he understood what she was conveying, especially by using the phrase sex toys.

Denise quickly reminded Dr. Durabone that she’d rather not go into detail about this relationship; however, she mentioned that it was essential for him to know this as part of the background to her present concern or what she rather called her dilemma. Even more, on the one hand, Denise had yet to gain that level of comfort with her counseling psychologist, to discuss details about a sensual experience with a woman; therefore, she moved ahead to the present. On the other hand, Dr. Durabone was wondering if Denise was testing his acceptance of discussion about bisexuality or lesbianism, or whether she feared bringing out material from the past with its underlying feelings because of the limited time remaining in her first counseling session. It would be like letting Pandora out of the box and putting her back in the box during the time remaining in Denise’s one-hour counseling session.

As a perceptive psychologist, Dr. Durabone moved to link the past information that Denise had shared with her present concerns or dilemma, as she termed it. Are you ready to discuss how these past experiences relate to your present concerns or dilemma, as you describe it?

Looking at her watch, Denise felt a need to explain more about why she was here talking about sex and marriage and babies—but only in a limited and fragmented manner. Now, at age 28 going on 29, I am concerned about refocusing my energy on finding an acceptable husband and having children and a family like other, typical professional women. Then upon pausing to introspect more deeply and to search for the right words, Denise continued, It’s not what I think others expect for me, but it’s what I want for myself at this stage of my life. I have delivered babies for other women, and I have seen the joy in their faces and their instant realization of motherhood. Now, I want my own babies and my own family life. With this statement, Dr. Durabone could sense Denise’s sincerity and desire behind her communicated words.

As Denise talked aloud and as she disclosed enthusiastically about having her own children, Dr. Durabone allowed her to explore and introspect as he continued to listen. It was too soon to discern any type of psychological assessment, diagnosis, interpretation, or intervention as appropriate. By the same token, Denise felt that she was talking on and on, so she moved to wrap up things. In a capsule, that’s where I am and the goals that I have for myself in terms of my personal life, because my professional life is going well.

In the privacy of his mind, Dr. Durabone thought, Did she mean she had sex with a woman? Why did she include this information in her sexual history? How is this incident related to her current goal of marriage and children? Nevertheless, he didn’t ask Denise to clarify, because at this point he didn’t want her to perceive that this behavior was unacceptable to him as a psychologist or that he had selected to focus on this one aspect of her self-disclosures. Nevertheless, Dr. Durabone pushed, How do the shared experiences from your sexual history relate to having children and a family? Denise meditated on the question. Although, the issues were deep in her unconscious psyche, she hadn’t verbalized these to anyone. "Well, we can discuss some of the issues later; however, I am wondering if I can