Love Always, but Not Forever

By Debi Herren

Jewels Jones believed herself to be dull and unattractive. Living in the shadows of her empty life, where she was comfortable. Never wanting for attention and certainly never receiving it. Love didnt fit in the lonely and isolated world she created for herself. Until she received a special gift from her parents a two week European vacation. In a smoke filled pub, Jewels meets the perfect English gentleman, the strikingly handsome Kyle Edwards. While Kyle is on a Mini Holiday from his second home in California, he offers Jewels a personal tour around his home town, London. One weekend of sightseeing was all it took to change her life forever.

The story begins

During a romantic Valentines Day dinner, Kyle shares with Jewels his feelings of wanting her to move from New Mexico to California to live with him. Jewels tries to understand the unconditional love Kyle has for her, but a secret from the past has left her timid, doubtful that she could be loved for who she really is.

After deciding to leave the small town she grew up in and move to Los Angeles, Jewels learns the meaning of true love in a relationship full of passion and desire.

But the classic Hollywood plot of boy-meets-girl is too good to be true. Megan Scott, a sensuous beauty is hired as Kyles Assistant to help with the demanding needs of his thriving career. When Kyle fails to respond to her advances, to be more than his assistant, Megans pursuit to win him over begins. And she will stop at nothing, to get what she wants.

The following thoughts horrified Jewels. Would this nightmare ever end? Or would she continue to live in fear, not knowing what might happen next

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Mar 20, 2012
• ISBN: 9781469796253

Book preview

Love Always,

But Not Forever

A Novel by

Debi Herren

iUniverse, Inc.

Bloomington

Love Always, But Not Forever

Copyright © 2012 by Debi Herren.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

iUniverse books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4697-9624-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4697-9625-3 (ebk)

iUniverse rev. date: 03/26/2012

Contents

Acknowledgments

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 23

CHAPTER 24

CHAPTER 25

CHAPTER 26

CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER 28

CHAPTER 29

CHAPTER 30

CHAPTER 31

CHAPTER 32

CHAPTER 33

CHAPTER 34

CHAPTER 35

CHAPTER 36

CHAPTER 37

CHAPTER 38

CHAPTER 39

CHAPTER 40

CHAPTER 41

CHAPTER 42

CHAPTER 43

CHAPTER 44

CHAPTER 45

Acknowledgments

To my supportive and loving husband: Albert, without him I would never have gotten this far with my dream. I love you babe!

To my two beautiful daughters: Alyscia & Tiffany, who have unknowingly given me the biggest gift. Their understanding and patience on my vision quest have meant more to me than they will ever know.

To my parents: The two greatest inspirations in my life. You have always given me the wings to fly, and to believe in myself.

To Rochelle Romero: For supporting my dream.

To Anna Miller: For spending numerous hours holding my hand as we walked through the chapters together.

To Kent Brown: For your wonderful cover picture.

To Carole Brown: For your honest opinion. Thank you for spending time on all of my little mistakes.

To Zack Blea: For your support and listening to all of my endless car crashes.

To Patricia Gillikin: For helping me find my point of view.

To Laura Pavatt: For taking my vision and making it better.

A special shout out to my classmates at UNM Valencia, Bill Nevins Creative Writing Class Spring 2010. You were my original sound board . . . I did it!!!

* * *

Always believe in your dreams, never give up and say, That could have been me.

IN the back room of the church, Kyle turned to look in the mirror. His face held no emotion as he fixed the bow tie on his tuxedo. He did not have the courage to leave the four walls surrounding him.

Kyle, we are almost ready, son. We need to get going. Kyle’s mother wrapped her arms around him in a tenderly embrace.

Mum, how can this be happening?

I cannot begin to imagine what you must be feeling today. This could have been easier on you, if only you had picked any other day than this one.

No, this was the date she chose to begin our life together. I have to honor today. It’s not about me, it never was.

He turned around to admire the antique picture frame that belonged to his great grandmother. The frame sat upon a grand mahogany desk encircled by pink rose petals. He reached out to pick it up when he heard the knock he had been dreading.

Sir, I am sorry, but we must begin.

Kyle looked at the portrait one last time. He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. I will always love you . . . forever. He whispered as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

He walked slowly toward the door and pulled it open. He paused to consider the faces gathered on this day. His emotions became heightened by the delicate sound of a piano echoing throughout the intimate church. The rich, fragrant scent of roses hung like an invisible presence.

One vision caught his attention. There she was. In her beautiful white gown, her dark curls softly surrounding her delicate face, a faint smile on her pink lips. His breath had been taken away as he gazed upon a sight he had never expected to see. The room grew silent as he walked toward the woman that had stolen his heart. This day was to begin their Happily-ever-after.

Reaching out to touch her, he knew at this moment he would enter a nightmare he’d never wake up from . . .

CHAPTER 1

THE orange twilight settled into the darkening horizon. From the large, glass window the couple watched the mountainside slowly creep past. Jewels attention was on her amazing boyfriend, famed actor Kyle Edwards. The look of awe on his face from the magnificent view as the tram climbed higher was sincere. Jewels took in the incredible smile that was set in his strong, handsome face. His blue eyes sparkled like pools of water. He looked extremely handsome, dressed in a crisp pale blue shirt with a coat and tie and black tight-fitting jeans. She studied his profile. His brown hair tousled in all directions a week’s worth of stubble covered his jaw line. He was striking at any angle.

Through the glass door Jewels caught sight of her reflection and quickly looked away. By many standards Jewels Jones was considered a natural beauty. Five feet four inches tall, with silky chestnut colored hair that curled down past her shoulders. Her eyes were a warm brown, with flecks of gold in them. Although, Jewels saw her appearance differently—what she saw in the mirror was not what the others saw. She believed herself to be dull and unattractive. Growing up she had been a loner. Living in the shadows of her empty life, where she was comfortable. Never wanting for attention, and certainly never receiving it. Love didn’t fit in the lonely and isolated world she created for herself.

Even after meeting and falling in love with Kyle, Jewels continued to fight with the cruel memories of her last relationship. Despite Kyle’s undying love and affection, she still remained timid and uncertain of his true feelings. Afraid one day he would realize their relationship was a mistake.

This is amazing, a giant lift riding up the side of a mountain, Kyle stated.

His words forced out the negative images and thoughts that filled her mind from her not so distant past.

The tram arrived at the top of the mountain fifteen minutes later. Stepping out on to the breezy platform, Kyle took Jewels in his arms, to shield her from the wind. The distant lights of Albuquerque twinkled across the desert valley below. With his hand on the small of her back, he led her to the restaurant.

Reservations for Kyle Edwards, he informed the hostess. The young girl’s eyes grew twice their size.

Yes . . . Mr. Edwards . . . right . . . right this way, she stammered awkwardly.

They were led to a secluded room softly lit by candlelight. The light reflected off the glass walls that stretched from floor to ceiling, casting a warm glow throughout. The ambience was magical.

It had been months since they parted that morning at Hearthrow Airport, following their whirl wind courtship in and around London. During their initial time together, Kyle made her laugh with his quirky British humor, making silly comments and observations about life. Clearly he didn’t take himself or anything around him too seriously. He was almost awkward at times which made him more attractive, if that were even possible. It seems so hard for her to believe he was famous, yet still untouched by his fame.

Her thoughts took her back to the morning she was to leave London, when Kyle expressed his feelings toward her. Stating that over the past few days, every moment had been consumed by thoughts of her. He was saddened by the fact that she was about to leave and walk out of his life forever. He didn’t want to say goodbye, not yet, not ever. She had placed an amazing gift in his heart. In less than a week she had touched his soul like no one else ever had.

Theirs was a relationship of which fairy tales were made. It was love at first sight. They were inseparable from the moment their eyes met in the smoke filled pub Brewmasters, to when they professed their feelings for each other right before Jewels boarded the plane back home to New Mexico.

It all happened so fast. She did love him, and he actually loved her too, but how could their relationship possibly work out?

As they indulged in desert, Kyle turned the conversation toward their future. Although enjoyable, the occasional visits they shared and long distance phone calls had gone on long enough. Kyle expressed his desire for her to move to California and live with him. This proposal to move away from the quiet and sheltered life she lived filled her with absolute uncertainty.

Jewels looked at him. I miss you too, Kyle. I just don’t know . . . how I would fit into your life. Everything is so crazy. I would just be in the way. I would get lost in your world.

Kyle reached up to brush a strand of hair from her face. You are my world. I can’t explain it, but you are the missing piece that I have searched for to make my life complete.

She took in a deep breath, trying to control her swelling heart that was overflowing with emotions. This time she had to think with her head and not her heart.

I’m back at UNM. I am taking art class again. I went back last month. She shrugged her shoulders. Besides what would I do in California? She watched as his face clouded over and his body slumped forward, withdrawn. Why do you want me to live with you in California? I don’t understand . . . I mean you will be working on your career. What am I supposed to do? Follow you around like a puppy while you make movies? Her voice was harsh. She didn’t want to be rude, but she could not let another guy control her, ever again. I do love you and I want to be with you, she paused, looking deep into his sad eyes. Her voice began to quiver, but she stayed strong at least on the outside. Inside, she was even more confused than ever.

Avoiding his stare she could feel her throat close up and her heart start to ache. The thought of saying goodbye all over again was an indescribable pain.

Kyle’s eyes were a dark gray as he looked down at her. Please think about it. I love you and I want us to be together. He reached into his jacket pocket, removed a pink satin box and gently placed it in Jewels’ hands.

Happy Valentine’s Day, he whispered.

Jewels heart pounded in her chest as she slowly opened the lid. Inside, the most stunning necklace she had ever laid eyes on. Its fragile beauty took her breath away. The pendant held diamonds in the shape of a heart. Nestled inside was a lustrous pink pearl that almost floated on the delicate chain. As hard as she tried, Jewels could not keep the tears from falling. Wrapped in a moment of perfection, she continued to admire the beautiful treasure.

Where ever did you find such a lovely present?

It was on that night we met at Pearl. After dinner, as I said goodbye to my family, I noticed this little gift shop and went in. There wasn’t anything overly special, the typical souvenirs and such. I turned around to leave, when a small glass case in the back caught my eye. Inside, I saw this necklace, and I thought of you.

Your gift is . . . breathtaking.

So are you, my luv. He lifted her chin to look into her eyes.

Her eyes shifted away as a tear crept down her cheek. Jewels had the hardest time dealing with her overactive emotions. She was the type of girl who would cry when she received attention, good or bad. To avoid the tears and drama growing up, she preferred to be alone.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry, his voice held confusion.

No, that’s not it at all. You make me feel so special when we’re together. Carefully, she removed the chain from its box. Would you help me put it on?

His hands brushed aside her soft brown curls and once he fastened the clasp he leaned down to kiss the elegant curve of her neck.

I love you, he whispered. The softness of his lips on her bare skin created a tingling sensation. She pulled away from his touch with a slight shiver.

They left the warmth of the restaurant and walked out into the brisk, night air. In the crowded space of the tram car, their bodies were pressed close together. Her pulse quickened from the cozy surroundings. A blush of pink settled on her cheeks from her intimate thoughts as Kyle wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. The familiar scent of cologne and cigarettes tickled her nose. The warm touch of his body made her feel safe and protected. He hugged her tightly, as the tram car jolted and docked at its station. Giving her a soft kiss on the top of her head, they exited the tram.

The drive through the city to the little village of Bosque Farms was quiet. The only sound was the radio playing softly in the background.

In the driveway of her parents’ house, Kyle hopped out of the Jeep and glanced up into the darkened sky.

I haven’t ever seen this many stars. It is so peaceful here.

Jewels smiled at the innocent remark and unlocked the front door.

My parents must still be out.

Kyle took advantage of the moment. With one effortless motion he swept her off her feet and walked through the dark hallway to the living room. He set her gently on the sofa and lay down next to her. Jewels’ body tensed. In the living room, on the large, overstuffed couch they snuggled.

She looked in his eyes, and blushed. She was feeling extremely self conscious at never having been with a man. A sudden frenzy came over her body. His smoldering blue-gray eyes gave her an erotic sensation so powerful it left her mind and heart filled with mixed emotions. She had never allowed herself to be intimate with a man. It wasn’t ever entertained in her thoughts, until now. Being with Kyle just felt right. Every inch of her tingled with anticipation. In his arms, the scent of his cologne caused her to become lightheaded.

As she returned his gaze, slowly, she started to unbutton his shirt. Her fingers parted the fabric and glided across his chest. Softly, and then more urgently she kissed him. Her need for him became stronger and more physical. She sensed his desire pulling her towards him. The touch of his hands under her dress, as he caressed every curve of her body caused her heart to flutter.

He smiled at her as he tried to catch his breath. I want to be with you, tonight. He whispered as his lips moved down her neck and kissed the fullness of her breasts.

Not here, not on my parents’ couch.

We could go upstairs, to your room? he offered.

She pulled away from him, even though her body was aching for his touch.

I love you so much, but I’m just not ready for this. I want desperately to make love to you, but there is a stronger part of me that wants to wait. My heart can’t handle losing you, ever. I just want . . .

The phone rang, interrupting her, mid-sentence. Quickly she sat up and answered the call. Hey, Mom, Jewels’ breath was heavy in her chest. Her face reddened. Thanks.

On the edge of the couch, Kyle sat buttoning his shirt. Is everything alright?

Jewels laughed awkwardly. Yeah, just a warning . . . to say they are on their way home. She looked up into his eyes. I’m sorry.

For what? he asked.

Leading you on . . . this is all new to me. My emotions are out-of-control, as well as my hormones, she added blushing.

Jewels, his voice was warm and gentle. He took her in his arms, leaning back on the couch and kissing her forehead. You are so special to me. I should be the one saying sorry, for not having more control. I got carried away at the touch of your body.

Before her parents arrived home Jewels took Kyle’s hand and led him upstairs to the guest room. Stopping in front of her bedroom, Kyle whispered, Dream sweet. I love you.

I love you, too. She entered the room and closed the door behind her.

The pounding of her heart beat fast against her ribs. Becoming totally consumed by his affection, the desire for intimacy, no matter how small of a touch she received from him, started to overwhelm, and weaken her. She had read of first time love in her romance novels. The beginning of the relationship filled with hand holding and endless kisses, where the slightest touch sent a rush of euphoria throughout the body. These feelings were new to her. She had never experienced this level of intense love before.

The romantic thoughts continued to fill her head while she changed out of her dress and into her nightgown. As she climbed in bed, her mind was muddled by the thought of actually making love to Kyle. The thought was terrifying, yet exhilarating. She tossed and turned as she tried to sleep.

Jewels, her mom whispered opening the door. I was wondering how tonight went.

Jewels sat up, smiling from the remembrance of her night shared with Kyle. It was perfect. We had a romantic dinner, and then came home and talked. He gave me this necklace.

Her mother, Rose, held the pendant that was still around her daughters neck.

Mom, can we talk? Jewels waited and then began, um, Kyle is living in California, working on his movie career, and he asked me . . . She paused, wondering, is she was ready for this conversation? Yes, she was a grown woman. She should be able to talk to her mother about her future.

Asked you what, Jewels? Rose replied impatiently.

He wants me to go out to California, to live with him. She said all in one breathe.

And you’re considering this?

The silent expression on Jewels’ face spoke volumes. Mom, is this right? I mean, following my heart without too much thought involved?

Only you can answer that question. You’re not a little girl anymore, Rose responded with a tender smile.

Yeah, I know. It’s just everything feels so intense when I am with him.

I always believed in someone special for you. Rose smiled and stood up.

Can I ask you something else? Jewels paused for a moment, What do you think about my living with Kyle? Jewels caught the change of expression on her mother’s face.

Kyle is a good man. I know he loves you. It’s obvious by the way her looks at you. But more importantly, by the way he treats you with respect and honesty. I think it’s time for you to make the decisions.

Thanks, Mom.

I love you.

Jewels wanted to be with Kyle and she knew that was what her heart wanted too. To be loved for the person she really was, but would it be enough?

In the silent room, her mind replayed the haunting words, If you do meet someone, he may like you, but he will never love you.

She forced away the memories of her past and thought of her future. She reached up to touch the necklace Kyle had given her. The dreams she had always dreamed were about to come