Living with Your Exchange Student

By Ina Cherington

"Families considering hosting could greatly benefit from reading Living with Your Exchange Student... many good laughs and some highly educational moments on a cultural level."
Laura Rose, CEO, Center for Cultural Interchange

Based on real experiences and stories, Living with Your Exchange Student provides a valuable resource for current and prospective host families, exchange students, program representatives, and school counselors. In this guidebook, author, Ina Cherington describes what its like to host a high school foreign exchange student. It demonstrates how learning about cultural diversity through international exchange promotes interpersonal understanding and enriches the lives of all involved.

Living with Your Exchange Student helps you experience a year in the life of an exchange student and learn about cultural differences that are sometimes humorous, often challenging, and frequently inspiring. Learning about cultural differences through international exchange can lead to greater understanding and open doors to world peace, one family at a time.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jan 21, 2011
• ISBN: 9781450276184

Ina Cherington

Ina Cherington has worked in the field of foreign student exchange for more than twenty years. She is a native of Pittsburgh and received a bachelor’s degree in education from the University of Pittsburgh. She also earned a degree in urban horticulture. Cherington lives in Denver.

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Copyright © 2011 by Ina Cherington

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ISBN: 978-1-4502-7619-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4502-7618-4 (ebook)

Printed in the United States of America

iUniverse rev. date: 01/14/2011

For my grandchildren

Sarah, Adam, Lindsey, Benjamin, Leah, and Shayna

Contents

Introduction: The Seed

Chapter1. The Newly Arriving Student—A Sapling

Chapter2. Host Family—The Roots

Chapter3. Exchange Students—What Variety!

Chapter4. Schools—The Branches

Chapter5. The Area Representative—Placement and Support

Chapter6. Fall Travel Perks for ARs—Autumn Leaves

Chapter7. Exchange Program Organization—The Arborist

Chapter8. The Calendar—Tree Rings

Chapter9. Cultural Differences—The Fruit

Afterword

Glossary

Illustrations

1. Students at fall retreat in Estes Park, Colorado

2. Students harvesting the pumpkin patch

3. Opening a present at the holiday party

4. Who am I?

5. Exchange students at midyear orientation

Introduction: The Seed

Have you ever wondered why nearly half of the Vietnamese population has the surname Nguyen; what is served at a Japanese kaiseki dinner; and what capoeira means to Brazilians? These questions and countless others were answered during my twenty-one years as a regional manager and area representative (AR) for two different accredited high school exchange programs. My region included Denver and the north-central portion of Colorado known as the Front Range.

As manager, I wore many hats, often several at a time. My responsibilities included hiring, training, and supervising area representatives. The area representative’s job is to place students with host families, interview the families in their home, check references, get school acceptance, and provide supervision and orientations.

I worked with schools to assure permission to enroll exchange students and oversaw an average of fifty students annually. Planning several activities throughout the year involved interacting with foreign students, their host families, the schools, and area representatives. Some days I required the skills of a psychologist, salesperson, or mediator, while at other times I was a counselor and social director. The position presented interesting challenges and required dynamic intervention and creative solutions.

My experiences, along with the knowledge I gained, led me down a lifelong cultural path. Receiving students from thirty countries, and traveling to the same number,—opened my eyes to the value of diversity. My desire to share those experiences and transport the reader into the world of cultural exchange prompted me to write Living with Your Exchange Student. Learning about cultural differences through international exchange leads to greater understanding and opens doors for world peace, one family at a time.

I will explore some of the many aspects of a high school exchange program: the host family, the exchange student, the area representative, the school, and the exchange organization. A chapter will be devoted to each component. One chapter describes travel opportunities for ARs, and another chronicles events in an exchange student calendar year. The final chapter explains cultural differences in language, customs, names, religion, and values. You will learn how Italians greet one another, which Brazilian city imported more African slaves than all of North America, and the differences in schools in other countries.

Long before becoming involved with foreign exchange students, my educational background was in horticulture. The biggest chunk of my adult work experience was as a landscape designer. When I began writing this book, the parallels between my two lines of work became apparent. I will describe the many similarities, and every chapter will be introduced with a brief comparison between trees and cultural exchange.

The story will resonate with current or past host families, pique the interest of—and provide important information for—those who are considering this valuable experience, and appeal to people intrigued by cultural diversity. Living with Your Exchange Student is a reflection on my adventures with exchange students, host families, and schools.

All the stories in this book are based on real incidents; the names of the people involved have been changed, however, to protect their privacy.

 Chapter 1

The Newly Arriving Student—A Sapling

A newly arriving exchange student is like a sapling. Young, fragile, recently planted trees require certain essentials for survival, such as food, water, sunshine, and nutrients. Strong winds can uproot the delicate twig if not staked or supported. Some seedlings are hardy enough to survive despite neglect, but most require care. If planted properly in fertile soil, the roots will spread freely and corresponding branches will develop. There is work involved in growing a young tree to maturity, but the satisfaction and pleasure derived will exceed one’s efforts. If the tree is nurtured and loved, it will produce shade, beauty, and possibly fruit for years to come, giving back far more than it received.

When exchange students arrive at the airport, exhausted from their long journey, they are nervous and vulnerable, despite being excited. They need nourishment, rest, and support. Of course, the host family provides the required room and board, but for the student to become an integrated family member and have a positive experience requires more than a bed and sustenance. If host parents provide guidance, warmth, and acceptance, chances for success are greater, and students begin to achieve their goals.

Some students have qualities that spell success in spite of challenges. Nevertheless, when a student steps out of everything that is familiar and is transplanted into a new environment, she may experience culture shock—a normal, temporary phenomenon. Whether it is transplant shock for a tree or culture shock for the exchange student, both need time to acclimate to their new locales. In a friendly atmosphere, the transition period shrinks, and adaptation occurs faster. If the hosts are overprotective or inflexible, the effect on the student is stifling. It is necessary for exchange students to extend their experiences beyond the host family.

Prior to leaving their home country, students attend an orientation. Exchange participants have another required briefing shortly after arriving in the United States. Host families also receive an orientation, conducted by their area representative, before their student arrives. In addition to the support provided to the student by the host family, the area representative who makes the placement acts as a liaison between the two, offering an ear when needed. She maintains contact and provides supervision throughout the home stay.

With love and care, trees will flourish, and exchange students will blossom. Hosting an exchange student is challenging and rewarding. Many host families comment that they get more from the exchange experience than they give. They now have a new family member, in addition to an understanding of a foreign culture.

 Chapter 2

Host Family—The Roots

Just as roots are what anchor a tree, the host family provides the foundation for the exchange student and her American[1] experience. Without a firm base, neither the tree nor the student is well grounded. Vital to the tree’s health are its roots. Strong roots are essential, but when you purchase a tree, the roots aren’t visible. Based on other factors, such as leaves, branches, and trunk, you hope to determine that the tree is healthy. Similarly, an in-home interview is required in order to evaluate the suitability of a potential host family. Asking the right questions, having them complete an application, checking references, performing a background check, and a gut feeling that comes from years of experience may make the selection process easier. Identifying a family’s motivation for hosting is part of the in-home interview. Providing a safe environment for students is essential.

Hosting a foreign exchange student is an exciting but demanding responsibility, not to be taken lightly, but rather with thoughtful consideration. It should be a family decision. Those who take this leap of faith will have a gratifying, educational experience.

So who wants to parent someone else’s teenager for five or ten months? All sorts of people choose to host. They are nurses, teachers, bus drivers, artists, attorneys, physicians, plumbers, engineers, architects, store owners, pilots, retirees, military personnel, restaurant owners, police officers, former Peace Corps volunteers, landscapers, farmers, ministers, CEOs, software developers and information technology people, stay-at-home mothers, stay-at-home-fathers, politicians, psychologists, social workers, car salesmen—even the governor of Colorado, prior to being elected.

By no means are families always traditional, with two parents and two children. Many families—but not all—have teenagers. Sometimes hosts are single parents, single people, empty nesters, young couples without children, and families with young children.