The Lazy Historian's Guide to the Wives of Henry VIII: The Lazy Historian

By Jillianne Hamilton

You can't spell "Tudor dynasty" without getting "nasty."

So, you've watched The Tudors and you've read Wolf Hall, but do you know the real story of Catherine, Anne, Jane, Anne, Katheryn and Katherine? (Best name for an all-woman post-medieval law firm everrrrr.)

Love affairs, court scandal, executions—just your average Tuesday in the Tudor court. Penned by a lifelong "Henry Head," The Lazy Historian's Guide to the Wives of Henry VIII combines Jillianne Hamilton's sassy, fun and snarky storytelling with one of history's most alluring eras.

Focusing on the lives of the wives, and less about the dudes around them, The Lazy Historian's Guide to the Wives of Henry VIII gives the six unfortunate queens the biography they almost certainly wouldn't have asked for.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tomfoolery Press
• Release date: Mar 25, 2018
• ISBN: 9780993987090

Book preview

The Lazy Historian’s Guide to the Wives of Henry VIII

The Lazy Historian’s Guide to the Wives of Henry VIII

Jillianne Hamilton

Tomfoolery Press

The Lazy Historian’s Guide to the Wives of Henry VIII

By Jillianne Hamilton

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© 2018 Jillianne Hamilton. All rights reserved.

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www.Jillianne-Hamilton.com

www.LazyHistorian.com

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ISBN: 978-1-7752560-0-7 (paperback)

ISBN: 978-0-9939870-9-0 (ebook)

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All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

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Published in 2018 by Jillianne Hamilton and Tomfoolery Press.

Table of Contents

A Note on Spelling and Titles

Welcome to Tudor England

Catherine of Aragon

Anne Boleyn

Jane Seymour

Anne of Cleves

Katheryn Howard

Katherine Parr

Edward, Jane, Mary and Elizabeth

Thank You!

Sources and Recommended Reads

Family Trees

Glossary of People and Places

About the Author

A Note on Spelling and Titles

Henry VIII married three different women named Catherine. To avoid too much confusion, I’ll be using these spellings: Catherine of Aragon, Katheryn Howard, and Katherine Parr. Unlike today, the spelling of names was fairly fluid during the era, so if you do any research on the wives of Henry VIII on your own, you’re very likely to come across multiple spellings for their names anyway.

I also chose to use the original spelling of non-English names for non-English historical figures. For instance, I used Isabel and Fernando instead of Isabella and Ferdinand. Catherine of Aragon and Anne of Cleves are both referred to by their original names of Catalina and Anna until they reach England.

During this period in history, most noblemen were called by their titles. For instance, Henry VIII’s best friend Charles Brandon was made Duke of Suffolk by the king. He was then mostly known as simply Suffolk. If the noble was granted a second title, the noble went by whichever title was more impressive.

I avoided using noble titles in this book to avoid confusion, but it’s something you might run into if you do any further reading on the Tudors.

Welcome to Tudor England

You can’t spell Tudor dynasty without getting nasty.

For 117 years, the Tudor dynasty ruled England, and it was one of the nation’s most exciting and intriguing eras. Their rule included all the horrible, juicy bits that make history fascinating—love affairs, spies, secret romances, poison, passion, battles, and so much more. There’s a lot to learn about the Tudors beyond this handbook, so I’ve included lots of additional resources at the back.

The history of Henry VIII and his six wives only makes sense when you understand the world these people lived in. As you read, you might think about how backward and primitive it all sounds, but these people wouldn’t consider themselves old-fashioned at all. The people who lived within the walls of the Tudor court considered themselves modern and sophisticated, just as most of us feel about ourselves in present times.

I’m focusing on the small percentage of England’s population who lived at court and those within that social circle: the royal family, the nobility, and a handful of high-ranking clergy. Those living outside the palace walls lived very differently, and their story is meant for another book.

A Dynasty Begins

The founder of the Tudor dynasty was Henry VII, and his claim to the English throne was weak at best. He spent most of his adolescence in exile in France and lived a tumultuous life due to his minor claim on the English throne. How does a guy like this become the King of England and creator of one of Britain’s most famous families?

(This part can get kind of confusing, so I’ve provided several family trees at the back of this book for those readers who are more visual.)

A civil war, now known as the Wars of the Roses, had been brewing for decades between two rival families, the Yorks and the Lancasters. Early on during this feud, Henry V became king and married a French princess, Catherine of Valois. King Henry died two years into their marriage, and Catherine fell in love with a low-ranking courtier named Owen Tudor. They may have married secretly, but they for sure got busy and had some kids, starting the Tudor line.

Henry Tudor, Owen’s grandson, had some French royal blood in his veins from his father, Edmund Tudor. For the English royal bloodline, we look to his mother, Margaret Beaufort, a descendant of Edward III. She was originally on the Lancaster side. Margaret sent her son away to France for his own protection. There he was educated and trained for battle by his uncle. And there he waited until the time was right.

What Henry lacked in royal blood, he made up for in brass.

Everything changed in August 1485.

King Richard III was the brother of Edward IV. When Edward died, his two young sons were put into Richard’s protection until the oldest reached maturity. However, Richard wasn’t having it. He imprisoned the two boys in the Tower of London and had himself proclaimed king. Shakespeare’s play Richard III has tainted our outlook of Richard III, but there’s a pretty good chance Richard had the boys quietly killed, since they had more claim to the throne than he did—sons of a king have more claim than brothers of the king. But Richard, once he had the crown on his head, had another competitor for the throne, a Welshman from France.

Henry Tudor returned to England, bringing with him an army of French mercenaries, his flag featuring a dragon, a symbol of his Welsh heritage. Henry’s claim to the throne was weak, but when he defeated Richard III at the Battle of Bosworth, he was proclaimed King Henry VII.

The new king took four very important steps to solidify his shaky grasp on the English throne. First, he united his Lancaster line with the York line by marrying Elizabeth of York, the oldest daughter of Edward IV. (She would be the oldest sibling of the two princes Richard had, um, put away.) Their marriage seemed to be pretty good. In fact, rumor is their union got real good right away, as there’s a good chance Elizabeth was already pregnant on their wedding day.

The second thing the new king did to put his stamp on England arrived shortly after his coronation. Prince Arthur was born. The name Arthur wasn’t just plucked out of thin air. It was picked specifically to remind the king’s loyal subjects of King Arthur and push them to associate this new royal court with Camelot. Arthur was followed by several more children, three of whom reached adulthood: Margaret, Henry, and Mary.

The third step Henry VII took was to brand this young dynasty like his rule depended on it. Probably because it did.

The Lancasters used the red rose as their crest, while the Yorkists used the white rose. Henry created the Tudor emblem that we know today, the white rose within the red rose. This symbol made its way into castle decor, royal portraits, and is still featured on the coat of arms of both the United Kingdom and Canada. It was featured on the twenty-pence coin from 1982 until 2008, and it’s still featured on the badge worn by the Yeomen at the Tower of London.

It’s a symbol that has stuck around for over five hundred years. So I’d say he did a pretty good job.

The fourth step he took was to strengthen England’s alliances with other countries, and, like most monarchs, he used his kids to do it. His youngest, Mary, would eventually be married off to the King of France. Princess Margaret became the Queen of Scotland, and Arthur was a toddler when he was betrothed to the youngest Spanish princess. (More on that later.)

The Tudor Era Within History

The Tudor dynasty began in 1485 with Henry VII’s coronation and lasted until Elizabeth I’s death in 1603. In total, that’s 117 years, seven months. In comparison, the Stuart line that followed the Tudors reigned for 111 years, and the Hanover line that followed after lasted for 186 years. (Although to be fair, the Hanover line would have kept going if the monarch after Victoria had been able to continue his mother’s line instead of having to adopt his father’s line of Saxe-Coburg. But that’s neither here nor there.)

Because of England’s location away from the rest of Europe, the Renaissance made its way over to sixteenth century England in dribs and drabs and didn’t develop in leaps and bounds like in Italy and France. One of Henry VIII’s rivals, King François I of France, even served as patron to Leonardo da Vinci during the final years of Leo’s life and inherited a very famous painting from him when he died in 1519—the Mona Lisa.

The parents of Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine, were Isabel and Fernando, the co-rulers of Spain. They were the ones who provided the moolah for Christopher Columbus’s little jaunt over to North America in 1492. During Henry’s reign, knowledge of the New World floated in slowly, but things didn’t really start ramping up until Elizabeth I’s reign, when she paid for further exploration of the Americas. (Virginia is named in honor of the Virgin Queen, and Raleigh, North Carolina, is named after the explorer Walter Raleigh.)

Spirituality changed drastically during the Tudor era and in many parts of Europe. Most of England was Catholic during the early part of Henry VIII’s reign, although that would change after 1517 when a German monk named Martin Luther published his Ninety-Five Theses and began the Protestant movement. These anti-pope Christians spread their gospel in their native tongues instead of the traditional Latin, and its modern ideals eventually reached England, spreading quickly among the upper classes. I’ll be discussing this at greater length later in the book.

In the early years of Henry VIII’s reign, Italy was back under the thumb of the very powerful Medici family. Explorers Giovanni da Verrazzano and Jacques Cartier also checked out the scene on North America’s eastern side in 1524 and 1534, but the Mayflower wouldn’t land in Cape Cod until 1620, seventeen years after the Tudor dynasty had ended.

Life in Tudor Times as a Noblewoman

If a young girl of noble birth managed to survive infancy, she would be raised to be obedient to her father, since she was legally his property until marriage. From infancy, the Christian faith would be a very important part of her life. Depending on the wealth of her family, her education would probably include things like needlework, etiquette, dancing, and perhaps how to play an instrument.

Even among the nobility, most women were uneducated. Many high-born women were unable to read, knowing only how to sign their names. Near the very end of Henry VIII’s reign and for several years after his death, it would become fashionable for people of higher classes to have their daughters educated at a comparable level to their sons in subjects like languages (usually Latin, French, and Italian), classic literature, and history.

Noblewomen reached marriageable age at twelve or thirteen, although most were in their late teens or early twenties on their wedding day.

MARRIAGEABLE AGE

Margaret Beaufort, Henry VIII’s grandmother, was twelve when she married Edmund Tudor, a man twice her age. Katheryn Howard was probably fifteen or sixteen when she married King Henry (aged forty-nine). Katherine Parr was in her mid-teens when she married her first husband.

Families within noble and royal families played matchmaker with their children in order to strengthen alliances, so marrying for love was mostly unheard of for noblewomen. If a young woman wasn’t promised, she might be lucky enough to be placed at court in the service of the current queen or princess. Depending on the queen or princess and depending how much they were trusted by their mistress, a lady-in-waiting would serve her by helping her get dressed in the morning and at night and keeping her entertained during the day with socializing, dancing, playing games, horseback riding, or joining her for prayer or needlework. They also served as gofers for her or passed communication on for her. Ladies-in-waiting were the original entourage—basically up for whatever the princess or queen wanted to do.

If many of the ambassadors of the time are to be believed, most of the young women at court also spent most of their free time sleeping with male courtiers. I can’t imagine that’s true. A bunch of attractive young adults all living together, dancing together by candlelight, the ale flowing freely… Actually, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

On her wedding day, a woman became her husband’s property. Since women were expected to become pregnant as often as possible, lifespans for women were much shorter compared to today. Pregnancy and childbirth were terrifying risks to the life of a woman but risks they were expected to take. It was their most important duty in Tudor society. In addition to the bearing of babies, a noblewoman might manage the household accounts and staff. If she herself was educated, she might oversee the education of her children, often with a governess and tutors. Depending on her rank and situation, a married woman might stay at court with her husband, but most ladies-in-waiting were unmarried or, occasionally, widowed.

That’s an extremely basic description of the life of a Tudor noblewoman. Please make sure you check out the list of recommended books I included at the back of this book for more information.

Catherine of Aragon

The Catholic Monarchs

The children of Europe’s most impressive power couple would have a lot to live up to. This includes Catherine, their youngest and the future first wife of Henry VIII.

Her parents, Isabel of Castile and Fernando of Aragon, had united Spain, making it one of the dominant powers in Western Europe. Their marriage in 1469 was not only a political union—which would have been the norm for the time—but the Spanish king and queen also ruled their country as equal partners. Isabel was definitely an exceptional woman, dedicated to her husband, their children, the ruling of her country, and, perhaps most of all, her faith. Outside of his infidelities,

Reviews for The Lazy Historian's Guide to the Wives of Henry VIII

[Christine Cloutier Pfenninger · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Clear and concise! A fast, enjoyable read with some clever commentary by the author.