Warring Warren and Other Short Short Stories

By Tannis Laidlaw

When award winning novelist Tannis Laidlaw read about a new weekly flash fiction contest using four ‘elements’ that had to be incorporated in a 500 word story, she thought the idea amusing at first, but ultimately thought-provoking and challenging even though she was primarily a novelist and a scientific research writer.

Nevertheless, she put her hat in the Iron Writer ring, setting herself another task: she wouldn't allow herself to make use of supernatural beings, fantasy, or magical realism when trying to incorporate the elements in any of the stories. No vampires, no made-up worlds and no secret powers. There’s plenty of magic in her stories: the magic of location (a hermit in the wilds of the Canadian bush in A Clean and Tidy Life, or in deepest 19th century Africa in An African Safari); the magic of psychology (The Mayan Legend and Seventy in particular but psychology is in almost all her stories – she is a psychologist, after all) and the magic of stories for adults who used to be children (see Christmas Bedtime Story and The Nursery Rhyme). Sometimes not using fantasy is difficult given a few of the elements that had to be included, for instance, 'a talking tree' in the last item in the book. She solved that problem by having a talking tree in the imagination of a frightened little boy. She also tells the reader how any particular story came to be written - maybe a news item, overhearing a comment, or remembering that old boyfriend...

If you like 'flash fiction', or 'short shorts' or whatever you call one-page stories, read on. Here are twenty-six stories, twenty-six locations and many more than twenty-six unique characters.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tannis Laidlaw
• Release date: Oct 27, 2013
• ISBN: 9781311002938

Tannis Laidlaw

Tannis has worn many hats: occupational therapist in her early days, psychologist, university researcher and lecturer at various universities and medical schools and now author. She's written many first drafts which are safely stored on her hard drive (perhaps, one day, to be revised...) but she has published four novels and two books of short stories. Two of the novels are in paperback as well as ebook format. She lives with her husband in various places: two homes in New Zealand - a town house in Auckland and an adobe beach house on an isolated bay in Northland - and, to take full advantage of the northern summer, a tiny summer cottage (off the grid and boat-access only) on a remote lake in North-western Ontario in Canada. All are places perfect for writing.

Book preview

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Preface

Story One – Warring Warren

Story Two – The Mayan Legend

Story Three – The Loquat-eating Giraffe

Story Four – Paradise

Story Five – Dracula’s End

Story Six – The Nursery Rhyme

Story Seven – Early Retirement

Story Eight – To Broaden their Horizons

Story Nine – The African Safari

Story Ten – Always a Silver Lining

Story Eleven – Seventy

Story Twelve – The Hunt

Story Thirteen – Potted Pot

Story Fourteen – My Classical Education

Story Fifteen – For the Good of the Soul

Story Sixteen – Archaeology

Story Seventeen – Wilderness Shenanigans

Story Eighteen – The Last Project for my Nan

Story Nineteen – Christmas Bedtime Story

Story Twenty – Jellyfish Delicacies

Story Twenty-one – A Clean and Tidy Life

Story Twenty-two – Writing Romances

Story Twenty-three – Listen to the 8-Ball

Story Twenty-four – A Great Place to Stay

Story Twenty-five – Blind Date

Story Twenty-six – Hey Diddle Daddley

About Tannis Laidlaw

Other books by Tannis Laidlaw

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Preface

I know fellow author Brian Rogers through an internet writers’ group to which we both belong. When he announced he was about to start a weekly flash fiction contest, The Iron Writer, for four writers, over four days and using four ‘elements’ to be included in a 500 word story or poem, I thought the idea amusing at first but ultimately thought-provoking. Should I get involved, even though I am primarily a novelist and a scientific research writer? A whole story in 500 words? It sounded impossible.

Nevertheless, I put my hat in his Iron ring, and became one of the first four contestants. I won that challenge with a dark twist on a well-known nursery rhyme. It takes pride of place as the final story (in this case, a verse) in this book.

I set myself another task. I won’t allow myself to make use of supernatural beings, fantasy, or magical realism when trying to incorporate the elements in any of my stories. No vampires, no made-up worlds and no secret powers – it feels a bit like cheating to do so. There’s plenty of magic in my stories: the magic of location (a hermit deep in the Canadian bush in A Clean and Tidy Life, or in deepest 19th century Africa in An African Safari; the magic of psychology (The Mayan Legend and Seventy in particular but psychology is in almost all my stories – I am a psychologist, after all – and the magic of stories for adults who used to be children (see Christmas Bedtime Story and The Nursery Rhyme). Sometimes not using fantasy is difficult given a few of Brian’s elements, for instance, a talking tree in the first challenge. I solved that problem by having a talking tree in the imagination of a frightened little boy. Then there was "a single super power’. That turned out to be easy – I inserted it as a religious reference in My Classical Education.

Each story starts on its own page and the four disparate elements to be included in the story are there for you to see. Those elements were a real challenge. Keeping to a 500 word limit (with slop of 5%, meaning the stories must be 525 words or less) incorporating all the elements so they don’t stand out as add-ins was another huge challenge to say nothing of cutting a story from 8-900 words (or more) down to 500 or so.

For the more adventurous of you, I have a little challenge of my own. Before reading any of the stories, read the elements and close your eyes. Does juxtaposition leap to mind? Can you think of a way to put them together? If so, switch to your word processing programme and tap away. You might find you have hidden talents. Then read my take on the challenge.

If you like ‘flash fiction’, or ‘short shorts’ or whatever you call one-page stories, read on.

And enjoy.

Warring Warren

The elements: A Tucker Turret, ruby red slippers, a Russian olive tree, a mermaid

The old lady shuffled behind a walker towards her visitor who stood at her approach.

Mrs Warren? At her nod, he helped her to a seat on the couch opposite him. It’s a great honour to meet Captain Warren’s wife, he said. You’re sure you don’t mind telling me about him?

Not at all, she said, because I want you to know what a hero he was.

She began the tale: Byron’s desire to fly in WWII before it ended even though he was only seventeen; the day he stole his older brother’s ID and was accepted into the air force; his rapid rise in rank and his intense disappointment at becoming a gunner rather than a pilot. He manned his Tucker Turret for so many missions, with so many hits to his credit, he was called ‘Warring Warren’. He said his success was due to his tucking his love’s red slippers under his flying jacket. For warmth on that first flying raid; for luck after that.

Your slippers? the man asked.

Ruby red ones, she said, made of fluffy sheepskin.

Did he have the sheepskin slippers on him when he was shot down?

Of course, she said. That’s why he survived, he always said. He also insisted he had them with him in hospital when they couldn’t save his legs. Again, for survival.

She thought back to that time. Byron was shipped home in a wheelchair, jaunty as always. He’d stuck her red slippers on his stumps to get people laughing even though he was crying inside.

I had ’em off so I could buy a tail and become a merman, he had joked.

"I’m not