But Wait.... There's More! #1

By Harvey Jacobs

A trio of promotional stories from the genius of humorous, fantastical, surreal stories.
But Wait #1 and #3 are available for the lowest cost possible! Yes, blatantly to get you hooked on Harvey's work. :) But Wait #2 has 8 more stories, which cost just a little bit, which, deliberately being in the middle of two promotional collections to tickle your OCD need for completeness to get you to spring for, you'll be glad you did. :)

His novels have been called "A masterpiece...arguably this year's best novel" by Kirkus Reviews and "inspired" by TIME Magazine. His beloved short fiction has appeared in a wide spectrum of magazines in the USA and abroad including Esquire, The Paris Review, Playboy, Fantasy & Science Fiction, New Worlds, and many anthologies. He received a fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts, a New York Arts Council CAPS award for drama, a Playboy Fiction Award, and a Writers Guild of America script award.

• Language: English
• Publisher: ReAnimus Press
• Release date: Jan 10, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370595310

Harvey Jacobs

Harvey Jacobs is the award-winning author of "American Goliath" ("An inspired novel"—TIME Magazine). His short fiction has appeared in a wide spectrum of magazines in the USA and abroad including Esquire, The Paris Review, Playboy, Fantasy & Science Fiction, New Worlds, and many anthologies. In addition to the novels and short stories, he has written widely for television, the Earplay Project for radio drama, and helped create and name the Obie Awards for the Village Voice. He was publisher of the counterculture newspaper, East. He received a fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts, a New York Arts Council CAPS award for drama, a Playboy Fiction Award, and a Writers Guild of America script award. REVIEWS OF THE AUTHOR'S PREVIOUS BOOKS A cheerful celebration of a big American myth... An inspired novel. —TIME Magazine Bells clanging, lights aflash, the plot's ball bangs and rebounds. . . . A wonderful and wonderfully funny book. —James Sallis LA Times His characters are haunting. . . . I have rarely enjoyed finding a writer as much as I have enjoyed my own discovery of Jacobs. —Robert Cromie Chicago Tribune He manages to satirize our all-too-human foibles and failures without becoming too blackly unforgiving. —Thomas M. Disch Washington Post Quietly amused, wry approach that gives distinction to Mr. Jacobs' work . . . his dry humor would be hard to improve on. —Elizabeth Easton The Saturday Review A wonderfully engrossing read. . . . I recommend it to everyone who has given up of ever again being entertained at such a high level of aspiration. —Michael Moorcock A bawdy, joyous romp . . . it's a wonderful book. —Jack Dann Look upon the amazing world of Harvey Jacobs! Come one, come all, for an experience never to be forgotten! —Fred Chappell Like Doctorow's Ragtime and George R. R. Martin's Fevre Dream, it's totally realized. —Howard Waldrop A great book should aspire (and succeed) in making you laugh, making you cry and just maybe, making you think. . . . Harvey's novels will do all that. —John Pelan

Book preview

BUT WAIT.... THERE'S MORE! #1

by

HARVEY JACOBS

Produced by ReAnimus Press

Other books by Harvey Jacobs:

Beautiful Soup

Side Effects

American Goliath

Coming soon: The Egg of the Glak, by Harvey Jacobs

Coming soon: The Juror, by Harvey Jacobs

But Wait.... There's More! #2

But Wait.... There's More! #3

© 2017 by Harvey Jacobs. All rights reserved.

http://ReAnimus.com/store?author=harveyjacobs

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Table of Contents

JIGSAW MAN

THE BATTLE OF SANMERCI SAUVENION

THE MAN WHO CAME CLOSE

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

JIGSAW MAN

He’d only known the girl in the black dress for an hour and they were already fused in a long, deep kiss. Joel Flak knew many things about himself, one being that he was definitely not the year’s sexiest man. He did project a quiet confidence and an aura of sincerity. Why not? He was certain of his abilities as a hedge fund director and he was sincere even when he sold some product to a client that he knew was far from a sure thing, a quality he thought of as sincere insincerity.

Joel could reverse gears in a blink. If he touted gold and the potential client said what he really wanted was a real estate trust, Joel would immediately enthuse and act as if real estate had been the obvious answer all along. His success in attracting investors was legendary. The man could shmooze with the best.

Joel met the girl, who called herself Sequoia, at an upscale bar, Boom & Bust, near Wall Street where Happy Hour always attracted a flock of bright beauties trolling for a stock broker or lawyer. He liked the place for its basic honesty. Everybody came to hook up quickly and smoothly. And here is was, sharing chemistry, with a gorgeous woman who’d chosen him from excellent crop of targets.

Sixty minutes later, after two martinis, their lips locked in intimate fusion, Joel was sure he’d caught lightning in a bottle. Sequoia made no pretense of being hard to get. He had no need to boast about his recent killing in bitcoins or his talent at milking honey from the new global economy. He actually felt deprived at not having a reason to crow about lining up deals with some of the planet’s major financial volcanoes. He didn’t have to inflate himself like a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade in order to impress her. What a lucky catch she was; Sequoia’s signals were green and go with no posted speed limits.

Their kiss ended abruptly. He felt her lips crinkle like a sheet of aluminum foil. Sequoia noticed the look of surprise on Joel’s face. It’s a new lipstick, she told him. From Madam Somebody-Or-Other. They must use airplane glue to make it.

No tragedy, Joel said. He guessed she’d been using Botox. I keep a spare pair of lips at my apartment. You’re welcome to use them.

Do you live in a penthouse with a fabulous river view? I hope so.

As a matter of fact I do, Joel said. Would you care to visit?

Aren’t we moving at warp speed? Sequoia said.

I’d love to see my air-conditioned wind toy with your hair, Joel said.

And I’d very much like to see your cabin in the sky, Mr…

Flak. Joel Flak. You?

Sequoia. Just Sequoia. I only have one name. We were very poor.

Women interested in being an overnight sensation often preferred anonymity. Sequoia might be married or running for office. One name is more than enough to work with, Joel said.

She was obviously pleased when a quick cab ride took the couple to a high-rise on Sutton Place, looming over the East River. Joel exchanged nods with the doorman and a security guard in the lobby. He sensed them salivating over Sequoia. Their eyes glowed like burners on his electric stove. To the winner belong the spoils.

A private elevator whisked the couple to the Penthouse