Three Goofy Stories

By Rebecca S. W. Bates

Three unbelievable short stories
Ballad of the Travelling Chalk Horse Artist—Riding a horse down a rabbit hole is never a good idea.
Flour Power—Catering doesn’t pay well, but it provides a chance for a wizard to save the world from politicians.
My Brother, The Pig—The unknown sister pig was the one who really kept the neighborhood from blowing away.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Albert Bates
• Release date: Nov 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781540116659

Book preview

Three Goofy Stories

Short Stories

By

Rebecca S. W. Bates

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Electronic edition published by D. M. Kreg Publishing.

Copyright © 2015 by D. M. Kreg Publishing and Rebecca S. W. Bates.

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All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction, in whole or in part in any form. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Cover Art:  Tish Marti and Dreamstime

Table of Contents

Ballad of the Travelling Chalk Horse Artist—Riding a horse down a rabbit hole is never a good idea.

Flour Power—Catering doesn’t pay well, but it provides a chance for a wizard to save the world from politicians.

My Brother, The Pig—The unknown sister pig was the one who really kept the neighborhood from blowing away.

Ballad of the Travelling Chalk Horse Artist

by

Rebecca S.W. Bates

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The beflowered meadow stretched lazily along the perimeter of the kingdom where Gerald rode patrol.  His father’s lieutenants tagged along everyfuckingwhere that he went, sounding a ruckus of clip-clops and jingles and but m’lord’s. 

He might as well have the page bugle his presence to alert any enemies who lurked behind that dark, brooding wall of the Enchanted Forest at the edge of the meadow.  A wall as good as any, it set the border of the kingdom Gerald would inherit from his father the king one day. 

Although, he wasn’t so sure he wanted this land of plenty (plenty of headaches, that is).  The ceaseless, territorial disputes caused nothing but problems that interfered with Gerald’s favorite activity of chasing wenches. 

Usually — not always — Gerald got what he wanted.  And when he didn’t, well then... 

Bored and saddle-weary from patrol that day, he scarcely believed his eyes as a white horse flashed across the meadow and paused to glance at him with eyes of — 

Gold! Gerald cried.  He rubbed his eyes and looked again.

The horse-like gaze that had emanated from...yes, golden eyes...carried a look of ancient wisdom, far more ancient than mere mortals could understand.  The white horse turned and ran, its mane streaming behind like a trail of breath on a frosty morning as it raced toward the Enchanted Forest. 

Within the space of one blink, the reality of his father’s enemies ceased to exist.  Nothing else mattered now besides acquisition of that fine equine specimen.  Gerald prodded his chestnut mount, which up until now had been the fastest stallion in his kingdom’s stables, and together they plunged into the tangled mess of dripping moss. 

Majesty! one of his father’s men cried from behind.  Wait for us!  You can’t go in there alone! 

But Gerald did not wait.  He knew what he’d seen, even if his men had not. 

That single white flash was all it had taken to cloud Gerald’s vision and dazzle his mind, the way sorcerers’ tricks in his father’s court had dazzled him in his youth.  He must...  No, he would possess that white horse.  He rode on, pounding the earth with the chestnut’s gallop. 

Gradually, the hoof stampede of his father’s soldiers faded into the background.  Gerald relented to the chestnut’s snorts and wheezes and slowed to a trot.  The forest had closed around him, so thick that daylight no longer penetrated.  The chestnut whickered a protest. 

The white horse had long since vanished ahead, and yet... vines and leaves and saplings shone with a luster so intensely green that