Bad For Me

By Kendra Little

"I'm not a good guy, Kate. I'm not the sort of guy you deserve."

Home for the summer vacation, Kate Bell settles in for a long, boring break in the tiny backwater of Winter with folks who still treat her like she's twelve. Then Ben Parker arrives and suddenly Winter gets interesting. He's hot, mysterious and good with his hands.

And he just got out of jail.

Kate's cop father warns her to stay away, but how can she stay away from someone as compelling as Ben? Someone who thinks she's perfect just the way she is?

When Ben's dark secrets catch up to him, not only is Kate's heart in danger of being broken, but Ben's entire future could be ruined.

NOTE: This book was originally published in 2013 as RUIN. It has been republished with a new title under the author's pen name Kendra Little.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Oz Books
• Release date: Dec 25, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370345526

Book preview

1

Coming home to Winter was like entering Sleeping Beauty's story in the years after the princess was pricked by her spindle and before she woke up. There's a reason why that part of the tale was glossed over—nothing happened. Just like in Winter. If it weren't for my friend Jane still living there, I would have gone insane every summer vacation. Unlike Jane, I planned on leaving as soon as college went back in the fall. If my parents didn't smother me first.

Winter was the kind of town everyone over forty loved, and all the interesting people left as soon as they were old enough. Ever since the sawmill closed down in the late Eighties, Winter had been losing jobs, residents and any sense of fun at a steady rate. It was now little more than a moldering pile of bricks and timbers squeezed between the river and the forest that once sustained it.

To be fair, it must have been a pretty town once, before the paint started peeling off the grand turn-of-the-century buildings, and their decorative iron balconies rusted. There were a few old homes still, like the one Jane lived in with her grandmother, but they were in even worse repair than the Main Street stores. Their owners should have sold up and moved out long ago, but they waited too long, and property prices dove when the sawmills closed. Now the dilapidated houses were falling down around the ears of the dilapidated families who clung to them with a death grip.

Like I said, Winter was the Sleeping Beauty of Montana. Except no prince came to wake the princess. Princes avoided Winter like she had the plague.

Until now.

Not that the guy who strolled into the Winter Warmer diner was a prince. No prince wore a pair of jeans and T-shirt as well as that, or carried a beaten-up duffel bag over one broad shoulder. He was new and different enough from the sleepy folks of Winter that he got my attention. Plus he was insanely gorgeous.

Wow, I whispered to Jane, sitting across the table from me. Don't look now, but the hottest guy ever just walked in.

She turned around, and her denim skirt squeaked against the faded vinyl seat. I would have smacked her on the side of the head if I could reach. To my utter humiliation, Hot Guy caught us watching. I held my milkshake in front of my burning face to hide it. I shouldn't have bothered. He looked right on past us like we weren't there.

Then his gaze suddenly back-tracked, locking onto mine. His blue eyes darkened, and I felt like he wasn't looking at me but into me. It was weird and intense, and threw me off balance. The room suddenly tilted. I felt like I was sliding off my seat. I set my milkshake down and gripped the edge of the table.

Who is he? Jane whispered. What's he doing here?

The spell broke. Hot Guy looked away and strolled up to the counter. He set down his duffle bag and leaned one hip against the counter as he gave his order to Molly. I had a good view of his back from where we sat. He was tall, a few inches over six feet, and his shoulders and biceps tested the seams of his T-shirt. His back tapered to a narrow waist, and the jeans hugged his perfect ass. His dark hair was cut close at the sides and left a little longer on top. It stuck up in unruly spikes, which would have had the old winter biddies reaching for their combs if he were a local.

Kate, are you even listening to me? Jane asked.

Huh? I tore my gaze away from that ass, those shoulders. I wanted him to look at me again, but he made his way to the other side of the diner and sat in an empty booth near the window, his back to us. All four other patrons and Molly the waitress watched him too, although I seemed to be the only one drooling. They all stared at him for the same reason as Jane—they wanted to know why a stranger had come to Winter. Nobody ever came to Winter, not even in summer when the roads were good and the fish were biting.

You need to tell your dad about him, Jane said, turning back to me.

Are you serious? I shook my head. She was such a worrier. Not like me. Well, not anymore.

People used to mistake us for sisters when were younger. We had the same ordinary brown hair, although I'd dyed mine blonde as soon as I moved away, and we were both slender and average height. We dressed differently now too. Where I preferred strappy tops and shorts in summer, she kept to strictly knee-length or longer skirts with sensible shoes. I'd given up sensible shoes when I'd given up my brown hair. It hadn't fit with the new me.

Just relax, I added. He's probably just passing through on his way to Riverside. Either that or he's lost. Riverside was the larger town further down the river. It had camping grounds and cabin accommodation for tourists who came to fish or go boating.

But the stranger didn't look like a fisherman, or a tourist.

Has he got a car? Jane widened the horizontal blind slats with her thumb and finger and peered out the window at the street. Only Molly and Frank's old pickup was parked at the curb. Everyone else, including Jane and me, had walked to the diner.

Jane released the blinds. The slats didn't fall neatly back into place. The lower one hung crookedly on its string, broken, like so much in Winter. How did he get here? she asked.

Horse and buggy?

I don't see one out there, do you? She grinned and I smiled back. I couldn't help it. Jane was pretty when she smiled. It's just that she hardly ever did. Being a full-time care-giver for her grandmother was wearing her out, sapping all the life and energy from her. For the first time since my return a week ago, I was glad I'd come back to Winter. If nothing else, Jane needed a friend. I was happy to see my parents too, I guess. I just wished there was something to do.

Some of us catch the bus into town, I said.

"You catch the bus because you're the only twenty-one year old in America without a car."

Dad said he'd buy me one when I graduate.

Besides, you live here, she said, ignoring me. That guy doesn't. What reason would he have to get off the bus?

Maybe he liked ye olde worlde charm of Winter. Or maybe he could smell Frank's burgers as the bus drove past. Frank's burgers are pretty damn awesome.

She rolled her eyes. Or maybe you need to get serious, Kate. He must be here for a reason.

Or not. You're too suspicious, Jane. Relax.

You're not suspicious enough. Considering who your father is, and what your career is going to be, I don't get it. You should be taking mental notes on everything about that guy.

Oh, I am.

She blushed. Jane was the sweetest thing on Earth, but she was also completely naive about guys. If she'd ever experienced so much as a kiss, she'd never told Beth, Lucy and I, and we were her best friends. She wasn't like me at all.

Kate, she whispered, you shouldn't speak like you're a...you know.

Slut? I laughed. Maybe if it had been anyone except Jane, I would have been offended or mad, but we'd been friends forever, and her idea of a slut was someone who'd had more than one boyfriend. Besides, it took a lot to offend me.

Don't use that word, she hissed. Her face reddened more, and she concentrated on her milkshake like she could tell the future in the froth at the bottom.

Slut is not a swear word, Jane. Not like fuck or—

Kate! Your father would smack you if he heard you swearing like that.

Dad wouldn't lay a finger on me and you know it. He never had and never would. He was the mildest cop around, although there wasn't much call for heavy-handed force in Winter. Criminals didn't exactly flock here. He'd probably just give me a lecture on how swearing is for people with poor vocabularies.

He'd be right.

I shook my head. One of these days I'm going to get you to swear like a sailor.

Not going to happen, Kate Bell. And go easy on your dad. He's a good man, and your parents have missed you.

I know, I said.

They're very proud of you.

I know that too.

So when are you going to move back to Winter?

Whoa. I held up my hands, warding her off. Sorry, Jane, but I'll never live here again. Once I've graduated, I'll need a job, and there's not much for a criminology graduate to do in Winter. As much as I love my parents, I can't give up my whole life to be near them. I'm not like you. I peeked at her from beneath my lashes, hoping I hadn't upset her.

She just shrugged one shoulder. Maybe she liked looking after her Gran. Maybe she liked being stuck in Winter when all her friends had left. Nope, that wasn't it. Knowing Jane, she was just too scared to leave, and too embarrassed to admit it.

You and I are very different, she said. You think that guy's hot, for example, but I just see a potential ax murderer.

I laughed and she laughed too. She wasn't as uptight as she appeared. I knew that, but sometimes I just needed a reminder. Yeah, I'd fuck him whereas you'd have me organizing surveillance.

Her laughter died. "You'd...do that? With him? But...you don't know anything about him!"

Sure, why not? I mean, look at him, I said, looking at the back of his head. That body, his face. Then there's the sense of mystery about him. And those eyes... The way they'd seen into me, drunk me in, like I'd been something he'd been looking for. He's got the whole package, I murmured.

Your dad would have a heart attack if he heard you speaking like that about a stranger.

Her words snapped me out of my mesmerized state. Yeah, well Dad isn't my keeper anymore. I know he and Mom love me to bits, but there was a good reason I chose to go to college in another state.

I thought it was because the University of Maryland has the best criminology department.

There are a couple just as good, but Maryland was far enough away from Mom and Dad that I could actually have a life. They'd hated it at first, but three years later, they accepted it. That didn't mean they would let me go out late at night now that I was back home, but since there was nothing to do and nowhere to go in Winter, it didn't matter.

Jane shook her head. You're unbelievable. Some people would kill for parents like yours. Parents who treated their daughter like she was important and not...

A nurse? I said for her.

Jane's eyes shadowed, shutting me out, but I saw the misery in their depths. She might tell everyone that she was happy, that she loved her grandmother and wanted to help her now that she was sick, but I was one of Jane's best friends. I knew the truth, even if she didn't know it herself.

I'd better go, she said, rising.

You mean before I throw myself at that guy? I was joking, trying to lighten her mood. Of course I wouldn't sleep with a stranger who sailed into our sleepy town with nothing more than a duffle bag and a nice ass.

Not without finding out more about him first.

We paid Molly at the counter. Nice to see you again, Kate, she said to me. The lines around her eyes crinkled as she smiled. She had a friendly, round face with sparkly eyes. A cloud of blonde hair fell to her shoulders, kept off her face by a clip with a bright red fake flower on it. Yesterday it had been a yellow flower and the day before that a purple one. She and Frank were in their fifties and had run the Winter Warmer ever since I could remember. It hadn't changed in all that time. The tables were still the same, with rickety metal legs topped with a Formica surface. My initials were etched under one of them, followed by Bobby Davis's, my first unrequited crush. Even the menu was the same, but nobody really minded that. The food was hearty and value for money and the milkshakes were awesome. Sipping one through the thick paper straws made me feel like a kid again.

How's school? Molly asked.

It's good. Great. One more year to go then I'm free of studying forever.

Your parents will be pleased to have you back here for good, she said, still smiling.

I'm not coming back for good. I accepted my change and dropped it in my purse. There's no work for a qualified criminologist here.

You could work for your dad.

I sighed. Was that going to be the theme of the entire summer? First Jane and now Molly, and I'd only been back a week. No, Molly, I said with exaggerated patience. I can't. Winter has no need for an extra policeman, and besides, I'll be a qualified criminologist, not a cop.

Oh, I see, she said, but I was pretty sure she didn't understand. Molly and Frank were good people, warm and kind, but they weren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

I'll be looking for jobs in cities, maybe apply for the FBI.

Her eyes widened. Oh! Right. Guess you won't have time for little old Winter then.

I'll still visit.

Won't be the same though, will it? Already this place is quieter now that the school has shut down, and all you kids have grown up and moved away to college.

Except Jane, I added.

Jane gave me a grateful smile.

Oh, yes, of course. Except Jane. Jane'll always be here, won't you, dear?

Jane's smile became tight. Yes, she said. I'll always be here.

No one said anything about what would happen once old Mrs. Merriweather, Jane's grandmother, died. I'd never asked Jane about her plans for the future, and I doubted she'd talk about it anyway. She'd think of it as bad luck to discuss a person's death before the event. If I thought it really would bring bad luck and wasn't just something that made Jane upset, then maybe I would ask. That made me seem like a bitch, but I didn't care. Mrs. Merriweather was a cold old woman who worked her granddaughter to the bone. The sooner she died, the better. She'd definitely be happier, and Jane would be free.

I leaned over the counter and lowered my voice. So, Molly, what do you know about that guy? Did he talk to you?

Only to give me his order. Black coffee, no sugar, that's all he wanted. She stared at the back of his head as he sat at a table. He's polite. I'll give him that.

There you go, Jane, I said. He can't be an ax murderer if he says please and thank you.

She thumped me lightly on the arm.

He was quiet, though, Molly went on. Didn't want to chat. I asked him where he was from and he said 'A long way away.' When I asked him if he was in Winter for business or pleasure, he just shrugged. What do you make of that, Kate?

Nothing in particular. Why?

She looked at me like I was stupid. Because you're going to be a criminal expert! You won't be a very good one if you don't start thinking like a cop. Like your dad. His instincts are good.

I silently groaned. Yep, I said with a hard smile. Dad's awesome. I wish I was more like him.

You already are. You just need to try harder, that's all.

Jane pressed her foot on mine. I don't know why. I mean it's not like I was going to bite Molly's head off for being nice about my parents. Besides, she was right. Dad did have good instincts. He was the perfect small-town cop. Everyone loved him. He looked out for the residents, settled petty disputes quickly and amicably, and he and Mom had a finger in every community activity going around. They