I've Loved You for So Long

By Christy Rivers

Kelsey: I only came back to Stonefall to uncover my past, but what I got instead was the strange ability to turn into a horse at night. My transformations are accompanied by visions of a woman and a shifter prince, their bond so strong I can feel it from lifetimes away. I can't control any of it, and that's what scares me the most... 

Gunnar: I thought we were destined to be together. Then, I saw her transform. My pack tells stories of the cursed white mare, whose appearance brings immediate disaster. I still want her, but I will never have her... 

Sparks fly when Kelsey Henry and Gunnar Dempsay meet for the first time, but the forces are stacked against them. Kelsey is the white mare of shifter legend, and Gunnar has a duty to protect his people. 

Still, their attraction is undeniable. Their love is so forbidden, it could kill. Gunnar knows this for a fact, because it's already happened before.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tiny Teacup Press
• Release date: Apr 12, 2016
• ISBN: 9781533734020

Book preview

Chapter 1: Kelsey

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Four hours after I crossed the state border, I saw it:

Welcome to Stonefall. Come for the mountains, stay for the smiles!

There was something vaguely familiar about the chipped, weathered sign as I drove past it. It was unlikely that I actually remembered it, though. I didn’t remember much about my life in Stonefall.

I’d only lived here until I was five, when my mom unexpectedly yanked me out during the middle of kindergarten. I could just barely recall a long road trip and a series of motel rooms as we hop-scotched across the country. The memory of it all was like a distant dream I had a long, long time ago.

I didn’t even know why I was returning, either, but it came to me just as I passed that sign. I couldn’t  remember much from this time of my life. Maybe I was here to reclaim those lost memories and turn the light back on in the black room of my childhood.

I glanced at the forest on either side of the road, a far cry from the cement, industrial landscape of New Jersey I’d left behind. But as I studied the bark, the waving leaves, and the black soil, I felt comforted. At home.

Suddenly, something flickered in the shadows.

I had to do a double-take. There. I could’ve sworn I saw movement there beyond the trees. I frowned as something shook loose from my memory. I felt like this had happened to me before, but that was impossible—

SCREEEECH!

I heard the horn blare a split second before I realized it was too late. I slammed on my brakes anyway.

And I braced for impact.

My front bumper collided with the orange pick-up truck and bounced immediately in the other direction. I jerked in my seat as my car rumbled off of the road, stopping after a few feet on its own. My heart raced. I threw a quick glance at my crunched-in hood before unbuckling myself and stepping out.

Are you crazy? a voice shrieked.

The truck’s driver got out and slammed her door. I sized her up quickly. She was older, probably around the age of my grandmother, with wiry, black hair and a small, bird-like frame. But I didn’t let her size fool me. The pure, unadulterated rage twisting her features coupled with her commanding voice briefly made me fear for my life.

I’m sorry, I sputtered before I remembered the number one rule of car accidents. Never admit fault. I shook myself and took a step toward her. Are you injured?

Injured? I won my league’s VIP bowler title six years in a row! the woman said, as if it meant something. Look what you did to my car!

Cringing, I gave her a wide berth as I stepped toward the front of her truck. Unlike my sedan, the front half of which had been smashed up accordion-style, her truck just had a dent the size of my face.

It was fixable.

I breathed a silent sigh of relief. Maybe we can work this out. I can give you some money for repairs. Are you from Stonefall?

As if, she spat. I’m calling the police.

My stomach plunged down to my feet. What? No...

"You city girls always think you can buy people off with money," she continued as she dialed quickly on her phone.

Panicked, I pulled my own phone out of my pocket and dialed the first number that came to mind. I turned away from the woman and began pacing, my heart lodged in my throat. Now, it was just a matter of who picked up first.

Hello? Kelsey? Nana said, her voice sharp with surprise.

My limbs went heavy with relief, and I almost collapsed. Nana! I need your help. I got in a car accident!

Oh! Well-er-okay, but...shouldn’t you call your mother? Or your insurance?

I’m in Oregon. I’m just outside of town, I said.

Nana was silent for a few seconds. Then, when she spoke, her voice was strangely steady. Does your mother know you’re here?

I shook my head, though I knew she couldn’t see. No. I didn’t tell her.

Nana’s voice brightened once again. Okay. Do you need a tow truck, honey? Where are you exactly?

I just passed the welcome sign. I dropped my voice to a whisper. "Nana, this woman is crazy—"

Say no more. I’ll be right there.

I hung up, so grateful I thought I’d cry. But there was still the matter of the truck’s harpy driver.

I’m going to sue you for all you got! she bellowed, waving her fist at me as I retreated to my car.

I opened the door and got in.

Yes, is this the police? I need to report an accident, she said loudly for my benefit.

I kept my eyes trained on her in my rearview mirror. I’d been in Stonefall for barely five minutes, and I was already exhausted.

Stay for the smiles, I muttered to myself. Yeah, right.

* * *

Nana lived by herself in a small yellow house on the edge of town. My car looked out of place in her driveway, beside the neat rows of staked vegetable plants and trimmed rose bushes of her garden. I stared at the plants as I entered the house, trying to remember it all. Then, Nana offered to make some tea, filling the kitchen with the sound of boiling water, the smell of cinnamon, and suddenly it all became familiar.

I collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table, and Nana scolded me for slumping.

Did you know that woman? I asked as I sat up straight.

Nana snorted. I know her all right. Daisy DuPont is the town witch.

I bet.

No, really. She’s an actual witch. She knew you when you were—

Suddenly, Nana went silent. I looked away from the window and at Nana’s back. Her shoulders were hunched, as if she’d been caught tip-toeing around someone’s property at night.

She knew me when I was small? I asked, guessing.

Yes. It was a small town back then, she said, her voice clipped. She turned around from the counter to face me, holding a tray with a teapot, two mugs, and a plate of cookies. Who wants cookies?

I laughed. I could actually remember Nana saying that to me after baking her delicious chocolate chip cookies. She used to make me wait until they were cooled off completely. I’d hated the waiting part the most.

I tasted one of them as Nana poured the tea.

I gotta say, Nana began as she finally settled down into her seat, I was happy to hear you were visiting, but announcing your arrival via car accident— she thumped her chest —is a little abrupt for a gal my age.

I swallowed my bite of cookie. I’m sorry, Nana. I just... I sighed. "I told my mom that I was taking a trip to Miami with my old sorority sisters. I couldn’t risk you calling her and talking about me visiting you until I got back into town to tell you myself."

Nana bobbed her head. Okay, okay.

I expected her to ask why all the secrecy, but I could tell she knew. Of course, she knew. My mother was her daughter after all, and Nana had been right alongside her ups and downs, her paranoid delusions, long before I was even born. That was a part of my mother I didn’t understand, tangled up somehow in this small mountain town where my childhood was buried.

I came back to understand why she is the way she is, I explained, even though Nana hadn’t asked me to. And to understand myself, I mentally added.

Nana continued nodding. It was something she did to tell the other person she was listening, and suddenly it struck me as something that was a very grandmotherly thing to do. I felt a newfound tenderness washing over me as I looked at her. Then, I felt an impulse rise up in me.

Of all the little secrets my mother had left behind, there was one I wanted to know most of all.

Do you know who my father is? I asked.

Nana lowered her cup. She gazed at me with guarded eyes. Her mouth was pinched tight. No, she finally said. I don’t know.

I stared into my cup of tea, trying to hide my disappointment. I’d never known Nana to be a liar. Could grandmothers even lie to their grandchildren? I just had to assume that she was telling the truth.

No, I don’t