Moon Glow

By Sandra Rose Simmons

Sara Flanagan has made great progress. After eight years of working in a Chicago bank she has risen to Assistant Branch Manager. And now a promotion to run her own branch brings with it a move to the suburbs, a new condo, a new life.

She has scarcely gotten settled when the trouble starts. Someone in the branch, possibly with an accomplice, recently pillaged the bank’s cash, and top management has ordered an investigation despite the fact that Sara is right in the middle of finding and fixing the problem. Could a recent systems change at her branch, initiated by the Assistant Manager, have created an opportunity for theft? Would a past affair with her former boss have a negative impact on her reputation and professional advancement or even threaten to end her career?

Meanwhile, significant changes in her personal life add to her stress and anxiety--concern about the health and safety of her aging parents mixed with guilt that they want more of her time than she can give. She has just begun to make new friends and social connections, including a new man, Warren, whom she finds irresistibly attractive. Uncertainty clouds every aspect of Sara’s life, at times leaving her almost beyond her ability to cope. Her days and nights are marked by worry and fear, relieved only by brief intervals of joy and emotional release.

Her challenge is to find the way through—and out—to achieve the happy, meaningful life she’s always wanted.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sandra Rose Simmons
• Release date: Apr 9, 2016
• ISBN: 9780996940603

Sandra Rose Simmons

Sandra Rose Simmons I discovered a passion for creative writing in high school. My career path led me to other pursuits including teaching, social work and creation and development of programs and services for private, nonprofit and governmental organizations. My personal and professional life inspired me with ideas for many stories about people and their struggles to not only survive but thrive and find meaning in life. My stories also reflect my interests in nature, travel, hiking dancing and spirituality. Family and friendships have played a major role in my life and helped me maintain balance and perspective as I navigated the difficulties of being a working single mother and caregiver to my elderly parents and life partner.

Book preview

Chapter 1

As she peered out the train window at the moonlit landscape, Sara Flanagan’s eyes would occasionally refocus on the window itself and she’d glimpse her own image super-imposed on the eerie scene like a ghost in the clouds, hovering over fields of corn and beans. None of the farms she passed could rival her parents’ place, which always remained in her heart even though her life was in the big city.

She could hardly wait to see the farm, her childhood home. She pictured her parents standing arm-in-arm at the station, waiting for her. But as much as she loved them, she knew she could not return to live there.

I hope they don’t want to get into that after all this time. I just need a few days of rest.

Life in the city could be very demanding and competitive. But Sara had always been a competitor. Working long hours at the bank in downtown Chicago had yielded its rewards. In only eight years, she had become an Assistant Branch Manager. Recently, another branch in Highland Park had posted an opening for a manager, and she’d put in for the job. It would mean more money, of course, but it would also give her a chance to prove she could handle senior management responsibilities.

Some people thought the only reason she was promoted was because of Rob, her current boss. She and Rob had been romantically involved several years ago, after his divorce, when she was a loan officer.

Sara remembered being flattered by the attentions of the handsome Assistant Manager. Rob had never paid her much attention until after his divorce. Then he’d swagger into her cubicle and flop down to tell her some story that would make her laugh. He invited her to happy hour one night and, thinking it was a group event, she accepted. Finding him alone in the bar, her heart raced and her palms became damp. He escorted her to a cozy booth and scooted in close beside her. To calm her nerves she drank a little too much and ended up laughing until tears flowed from her eyes. When he walked her out, he held her close and kissed her on the forehead before seeing her home. They began dating after that. He always showed her a good time, taking her places in the city she might never have found on her own. She’d enjoyed his wit, intelligence and style. Suddenly she felt like a woman of the world. All of her senses were alive.

Then everything changed. He became distant and frequently unavailable. She felt abandoned and hurt when they split up. Several months later he was promoted to Branch Manager. When he promoted her from Loan Officer to Assistant Manager, people talked. Angry and embarrassed at the gossip and innuendos, she’d worked hard to earn her colleagues’ respect and cooperation. Looking back now, she realized she’d learned a lot from Rob, and she’d had to pay for it by having to prove she’d earned her promotion because of her skills in the office, not the bedroom. Now it was time to move on.

Coming back to the present, Sara again noticed her ghost self on the inner surface of the train’s window. Startled, she looked into the reflection of her dark eyes and couldn’t help seeing how sad they appeared.

Am I really doing the right thing?

A move to the suburbs would uproot her whole life. She loved her little apartment downtown. She could walk to the Y or to Charlie’s for happy hour. The theater, museums, grand old movie houses—they were all just a short distance from her apartment, and they had become the hub of her existence. In the suburbs, though, everything was so spread out and bland. It didn’t even have the charm of the country.

Is the price of success really worth it? Maybe this time away from it all will help me sort it out.

***

Sara napped in the hammock as it swayed in the shade of the old oak tree that had been growing in the front yard of the farmhouse since before she was born. The pages of her journal fluttered in the warm breeze of a late summer afternoon. The fragrance of rose blossoms hung in the air, as sedating as if they were poppies. Crickets chirped intermittently, and somewhere in the distance a tractor plowed a field, its engine straining as the tiller clattered and clanked over the hard ground.

Later that evening, Sara gazed out the kitchen window as she finished cleaning up the supper dishes. She stared at the moonlit yard, the barn, the fields—but without really seeing them. Her mind was on Chicago and the job she’d temporarily escaped. She resented this momentary, involuntary and unwelcome mental intrusion on her vacation. The last few days here at her family home made her aware of how really tired and weary she had become.

Her mother interrupted Sara’s reverie by coming into the kitchen. Are you almost done, dear? You know, I wish you would let me do that.

Sara smiled. It’s okay, Mom. I don’t mind helping out. I can’t just lie around all day. Even as she spoke, it occurred to her that just that afternoon she had felt she could spend the rest of her life lying in the hammock.

We’re holding the game for you, so hurry on along.

Sara sighed. Another night, another game. She didn’t really care. It kept her mind occupied. She had always enjoyed playing games. But tonight she wished for something else. A walk to the pond. A concert at the gazebo. Some kind of escape from the watchful concern on her parents’ faces.

She sighed again and tried to see the full moon from the kitchen window. Its silvery glow shimmered on the dew-covered grass in the back yard, but the moon itself was hiding its face behind the tall trees bordering the house. Maybe she could just step out on the porch for some fresh air.

***

Sara? Her father walked up beside her. Hi, honey. Not fixing to howl at the moon now, are you?

Oh, Daddy. What? And start all the dogs in the county to barking? No, I was just taking it in. You know, it looks so much bigger and brighter here than it does in the city.

Well, a lot of things are better here than they are in the city.

I know, but that’s where my life is now.

Your mother and I would sure like to have you closer to home.

I know, Daddy. It’s been so nice being here. Sara took another look at the moon as if to imprint the image in her memory and pack it away like the clothing and jewelry neatly tucked in her suitcase on her bed upstairs. She smiled at her dad and put her arm in his. Together they came into the house to find her mother busy playing solitaire.

Okay now, let’s see who’s going to get the Queen of Spades! Her father sank his heavy frame into the armchair.

All right, then! Her mother scooped up the cards and began to shuffle.

At the end of the evening, Sara went to her room. There on the walls were her high school graduation picture, a collage of photos from various stages of her younger years, and her college diploma—in a tidy black frame. It all seemed so long ago. She had been full of energy and dreams about her future. She couldn’t wait to leave the country and begin an exciting life in the city. And it had been exciting, but it wasn’t exactly what she’d imagined.

Now she was making another change. She hoped her new life would live up to her expectations. Maybe she would have more time to relax, make new friends, read the books she loved so much.

She opened the dresser drawer and began packing her bag. As she scooped up her underwear, she noticed a shiny, blue folder in the bottom of the drawer. Oh, my God! It’s my dream book. She used to enter all the things she thought were most important, all the things she hoped to achieve. This had been the original blueprint for her life. She sat on the bed and hugged it to her chest.

As she read through the entries, she was surprised at the wisdom of her teenage self. There was her treasure map. A handsome man smiling at a beautiful woman. A shiny, red Miata convertible. A group of women walking arm-in-arm on the beach. Jewelry and flowers. Books, music, a theater marquee. A sailboat with the Chicago skyline in the background. She was amazed at how many of these things had been part of her experience the past few years. But even more, she was aware of what was missing.

What happened to my friends?

It had been months since she had been out with anyone. She’d put all of her energy into her work. And the handsome man? This time she hoped she had the sense to find someone who really cared for her, someone she could trust and respect, someone she could introduce to her parents. This was just the inspiration she needed to remind her of who she had become and that she must create a new map of what is most important in the world right now. She tucked the folder into the bag and tucked herself into bed.

Chapter 2

Starting over in the suburbs had consumed every minute of Sara’s days for the past two months. She found a modern condo with a garage near Lake Michigan and Central Park. She could ride her bike to work in good weather. In the meantime, unopened boxes filled the spare bedroom and lined the hall. Every time she needed something, a pencil or a hammer, she had to dig through some box. And even though she’d labeled the boxes, she always found what she needed in the last place she looked.

For the first couple of weeks on the new job, Sara came home tired and overwhelmed. Every bank branch had the same protocols, but each had its own internal systems and ways of doing things. Her staff seemed to be understanding and eager to help her learn her way around. She’d met with all the loan officers to hear their issues and concerns. They had weathered the foreclosure crisis fairly well. They processed more car loans now, and applications for home loans had started to come in again.

She had to focus primarily on making sure the branch would have a balanced portfolio of business and a positive return on investment as the economy picked up. To achieve that goal, she wanted to emphasize the importance of customer service. She planned to meet with the front line staff soon to discuss accuracy and responsiveness in handling their transactions. On the horizon, she’d have to weigh staffing needs against declining use of the branch in favor of the rapidly increasing number of online banking options.

Cynthia, her administrative assistant, asked how she was settling in. I’m having trouble getting my bearings here. In the city, I had my favorite shops and activities, but here I don’t know my way around.

Cynthia had lots of tips and suggestions. Here’s a copy of the local paper. On Wednesdays they do restaurant reviews, and on Thursday they list community events. She recommended a local farmer’s market near the park, as well as a Costco warehouse only a few miles away.

The following Thursday evening, Sara attended one of the free concerts in the park she had circled on a community calendar in the newspaper. She enjoyed watching children chase each other around the bandstand and roll down the grassy hill that formed a natural amphitheater. Old folks brought their folding chairs and draped blankets across their knees to ward off the chill of the evening. People seemed to arrive in pairs, hand in hand. But even in the midst of all the joy and laughter surrounding her, 10neliness grabbed Sara’s heart with its icy fingers—and she shivered. Pulling her sweater more snugly around her, she wished she had a hand to hold or an arm around her to shelter her from the damp air.

On Saturday, she headed for the lakeshore running path. Hundreds of boats filled the harbor and a few sailboats floated elegantly across the lake. Couples occupied the benches lining the path, feeding birds that scattered as she ran past, only to flutter to the ground again as soon as she was gone.

To be as free as a bird, to fly away over the lake and perch in the trees to take in the view.

By the end of the second month of her relocation, the list of chores occupying her thoughts and her mind had diminished to become just the normal routines necessary to maintain her life. Her isolation snuck up on her one Sunday morning as she sipped her tea on the small patio outside her kitchen. She had nowhere to go, nothing to do—and no one to do it with. If she were in the city, she’d get on the train and take in a museum, meet a friend for lunch, see a movie.

An enormous wave of loneliness washed over her and her shoulders slumped. She felt overcome by doubt and saw her high hopes for her new beginning slipping away.

Shaking off the ennui, she pulled up her contacts on her iPhone, and searched for someone who might offer an opportunity for companionship. No one was anywhere nearby. And no one even picked up the phone to have a chat.

Sara turned to the Meet Up website to see what online activities they offered. She checked on groups interested in running, biking, and the arts. Almost all the listed events had already happened or were filled to capacity. Frustrated with her lack of success, she logged onto Facebook to see what was going on with her ‘friends.’ She scrolled through various political diatribes, inspirational messages, and recipes for tantalizing dishes, occasionally finding a personal note or photo. A high school friend’s photo of her birthday party at the Pizza Palace brought back memories of the many times she and her friends had gathered there. A few clicks later she enjoyed a good laugh watching a funny video of a former colleague’s pet cat. When she came to the end of the newsfeed, Sara logged off the computer and switched on the television in a final, dispiriting attempt to find something significant to distract her from isolation she felt.

***

As the next business week started, the first item on Sara’s agenda was a regional meeting of branch managers in the city. Her favorite dress and snappy new sandals boosted her confidence as she anticipated her first encounter with her new colleagues. She even looked forward to seeing Rob; at least he would be a familiar face.

Sara entered the auditorium just as the meeting began and, scanning the audience, spotted Rob across the room, where he was conversing with a couple of men.

Once underway, the agenda was long, filled with updates on the bank’s financial performance and regulatory proposals aimed at reform. Market analysts predicted promising economic conditions.

During one of the short breaks in the meeting, Sara introduced herself to Marsha, the new Branch Manager in Cicero. At the lunch break they made their way to the buffet line together, comparing notes on their new jobs and the challenges of relocation.

Marsha had moved from southern Illinois with her family and felt lucky to be selected for her job. It’s a bit of a trek from Chicago Heights, where my husband’s working. We found a place in Oak Lawn, and my commute’s only about forty minutes. The kids are in a good school district—and that’s the important thing.

Sara could only imagine how much more complicated it would be to start over with a family—and yet, in a way, she envied Marsha. At least her new friend was not alone.

***

Rob walked up as Sara and Marsha sat down to lunch. Hi! Good to see you, Sara. Mind if I join you?

Rob! Hi! This is Marsha. She’s at the Cicero branch.

Rob nodded as he slid into a chair next to Sara. Nice to meet you, Marsha. So, Sara, how’s it going in Highland Park?

Great! I’ve got a good team, and they’ve done a terrific job of keeping ahead of the curve.

Don’t you miss the city?

Sometimes, but the ’burbs have their charm. I can bike to work and run along the lakeshore.

I’d never feel comfortable doing that in the city—or even in Oak Lawn, Marsha interjected. Are you sure it’s safe?

Sara has always been a plucky one, Rob noted.

The afternoon sessions were organized by topic. Sara chose electronic banking, wanting to be up on the leading edge. She was surprised to find only ten other managers assembled in a small meeting room with computers on each table. Jason Whitehead gave an overview of the trends in online banking and Jenny Wong demonstrated various online products, giving the managers an opportunity to try them out. Sara found the session interesting and exciting because for the first time it occurred to her that online banking offered her abundant opportunities and a possible career path in the future.

When the session ended and she stepped out into the reception area, she saw Rob coming out of another room. They made eye contact, and he walked toward her, saying, How about some dinner before you head out to the boonies? he asked.

I’d like that. Where shall we go?

You pick. You must be missing some uptown choices.

Let’s go to HB. I love that place.

You got it!

Rob insisted on driving to the restaurant. As soon as they placed their orders, he smiled and said, I’ve missed you.

Sara returned his smile, not knowing what to say. She couldn’t help thinking, Is he trying to come on to me after all this time? A few moments later she got her answer.

Now that we’re colleagues instead of co-workers, maybe we should give it another go.

Rob, I don’t know what to say. I’m just getting settled.

I know, he interrupted, it’s not geographically convenient anymore, but maybe that’s a good thing. It was too easy before—and we were together all the time.

Look, I’m not really ready for romance, but I would sure like a friend. I’ve always appreciated your sense of humor and your good advice. It’d be nice to go for a run if you think you can handle leaving the city for the ’burbs once in a while.

I guess I can make that sacrifice, if it means spending time with you.

Over dinner, they shared information and insights from the regional meeting. I’m really excited about electronic banking, Sara offered.

It’ll never be more than a small percentage of the business, Rob cautioned.

Though she had always trusted Rob’s guidance and advice, she felt he was wrong about the future of the industry. She kept her opinion to herself.

As they left the restaurant, Rob pulled her close for a hug good-bye. I’ll give you a call.

Great, she said, pulling away and heading toward the car.

As she drove home, Sara wondered if her loneliness had moved her to open the door to starting over with Rob. She knew he wanted more than her friendship. She knew better than to trust him with her heart.

No way I’m going down that road again! Even though we’re not in the same office anymore, the gossip mill knows no boundaries. I need to find another way to meet people.

Chapter 3

In the absence of friends to help her through her lonely days, Sara reached out to her parents and invited them to visit her new home. She’d finally gotten the guest room set up, and only a few boxes were left to unpack. It had been too long since she’d been to see her folks, and now she needed their loving support. They were excited to hear from her and enthusiastically agreed to come to her new home to spend the very next weekend with her. When Rob called and invited her to the city for dinner on Saturday, her parents provided cover for turning him down.

Her mother was the first one out of the car on Saturday morning. Sara! Her mom hugged her, and soon her dad’s arms were around her, as well, in a three-way love fest.

It’s so cute, Mom exclaimed. I love the view.

I like that it’s gated, although it’s a pain getting in here, Dad let his security concerns be known.

Let’s visit on the patio. I made us some lemonade and cookies.

They wanted to know all about the job, and Sara was happy to tell them how well it was going. Would you like to take a walk through the park and along the lake? There’s a nice little bistro nearby where we could have dinner.

Sharing the neighborhood with her parents was a treat for Sara. She could see they were proud of her and happy with her choices. Maybe the next time she went to the park or for a run, she wouldn’t feel so alone.

Sunday morning, her mom came out of the bedroom dressed for church. Sara was already in the kitchen, still in her nightie and robe, fixing pancakes for breakfast. She’d forgotten how important church was to her mother. She had no idea where the nearest church might be. While her mom sipped her coffee, Sara grabbed her iPhone and searched the local church listings. There was a Presbyterian church on the other side of the park, and services started at 10:30,—just enough time to have breakfast and get ready to go.

Her Dad begged off going to church in favor of another cup of coffee and the Sunday paper. Sara suspected he only went to church at home to make her mom happy and that she was stepping into that role today. Church had been a big part of her life growing up but since she’d left for college, she’d filled her time in other ways and found no reason to go.

They pulled into the parking lot and squeezed into a space on the back row. As they entered the sanctuary, they were given a bulletin and ushered to seats near the front, by the windows. Sara admired the light streaming through the stained glass window panes, emphasizing the multiple colors of the simple and elegant designs.

A man walked to the platform with a guitar and led the congregation in a song. The words flashed on the screen behind him, one line at a time . . .

It’s in every one of us to be wise.

Find your heart.

Open up both your eyes.

We can all know everything

Without ever knowing why.

It’s in every one of us by and by.

Sara remembered this David Pomeranz song from her summers at church camp as a youth. It filled her with a sense of peace and hope for the future. Suddenly she felt everything was going to be all right. As the musician left the stage, people applauded his performance. The minister welcomed them and asked newcomers to stand. She and her mother stood with others as people applauded their presence. An usher presented them each with a carnation and thanked them for coming.

As the program continued, with readings from the Bible and other inspirational words, Sara took note of the composition of the congregation. At least a third of the people were her parents’ age, but a majority were young families, some with children sitting in the pews, others—a little older—who probably had younger children in the kids’ program. Surprisingly, there were more than a few people in her own age group. She leafed through the bulletin to see what kinds of activities this church had available and particularly noticed a singles’ group for young adults. Maybe she should check it out. After all, none of her other efforts to reach out had worked.

After the service, Sara and her mother joined a crowd of people in the activity hall and sampled some juice and cookies. A woman who seemed to be about Sara’s age walked over to greet them. Hi! I’m Amy and I’m glad you’re here.

I’m Sara, and this is my mom, Joanne.

This is a great church. I’ve been coming here all my life.

I just moved here a few months ago.

I see you picked up a flyer for the singles’ group. We have a lot of fun—movies, plays, concerts—all kinds of stuff. I hope you’ll check it out. Our next event is on Friday. It’s game night, right here in the activity room.

Thanks. Maybe I will.

***

The anticipation of meeting new people for game night buoyed Sara’s spirits. But when Friday night arrived, she felt tired out from the stressful work week and just wanted to relax on her overstuffed couch and watch a rented movie.

Maybe next week.

On Saturday, Rob called. Sara was busy planting flowers in pots by her front entryway. She removed her gloves and answered the call.

Hey! How’s it going in the ’burbs?

Pretty well, actually.

Want to escape the humdrum for a night on the town?

I really have a lot to do this weekend, and the ride to town would take a big bite out of it.

Well, I guess I could manage a trip out your way if you can make room for that? Rob whined sarcastically.

Feeling bad about putting him off for weeks, Sara relented. You know, it’s really nice out here. You might enjoy it. Why don’t you come tomorrow afternoon? I’ll show you around and fix dinner.

It’s a date!

Her relaxing weekend evaporated as she made a mental list of all the things she needed to do in one day instead of two. Clean the house, do the laundry, get groceries, plan some way to entertain Rob. At least on a Sunday night he might not push her to stay over, and it would be fun to share her new home and community with a friend.

By the time Rob arrived on Sunday afternoon, Sara had everything prepared for his visit. Though she felt nervous about seeing him again, she opened the door with a grin. Welcome to my new home!

Rob gave her a hug and walked into the condo. This is really nice. It’s so much bigger than your place in the city.

I’ll give you the tour, Sara said, leading Rob through the house. Check-out the kitchen. All new appliances. It’s a two-bedroom, two-bath, and the living room has a fireplace. Let’s sit on the patio for a bit. I made some iced tea.

Sara brought out the tea and then returned to the kitchen for some mixed nuts. Here you go. How was the trip out here?

Rob surveyed the tree-lined greenbelt separating the condo units. Not bad. Sunday traffic is pretty light, and it was pleasant driving along the lake. It goes both ways, you know. Next time, I’d like to take you out in the city. Don’t you miss it?

Maybe it’s the small town girl in me, but I’m really getting to appreciate this place. There’s not a lot of traffic—and everything is so easy to get to. People are friendly and helpful, more relaxed. I didn’t realize how on edge I was in town.

But isn’t it boring? I mean what about the theater, great restaurants, night life?

Sara nodded. I’m still exploring the area. She evaded the question and felt defensiveness creeping into her voice. There’s actually quite a lot going on here.

Well, let’s go see some of it. Where to?

I’d like to check out Rosewood Park and Beach. Or there’s the historical museum, a lot of art galleries, just about anything you can think of. What do you say?

Off to the beach. You wearing your swim suit? Rob asked with a wolfish grin.

Sara blushed. No, no. I just thought we’d go for a walk through the park and along the beach. I’ll pack some snacks and get my things.

After a short drive, they entered the park. Sara stopped to read the introductory signage with a map of the trails. "Let’s take this one. It goes through a wooded area to