New Year's Tribulation (Midnight Moonlight, Book 3)

By Eren Reverie

Life is hard when you aren't alive. The sun burns, your senses are too sensitive, and the thirst... oh, the thirst! It doesn't help if you were on the neurotic side to begin with, and it helps less when you find out your best friend has been nibbling on your soul and that creepy fairie who's been trying to kidnap you has decided to change tactics and just enslave you instead. But Abigail is determined to deal with whatever life - or death - throws at her. Just as soon as she figures out how to deal with the fact that she's somehow wound up with a boyfriend and a girlfriend.

Oh: and assuming she survives trying to explain her relationship status to her parents...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Eren Reverie
• Release date: Jun 28, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311525628

Eren Reverie

Hi! Eren here. I’m a married, transgender, bi (but distinctly lesbian leaning) 30-something recovering-caffeine addict. I’d like to say I’m a full-time housewife and professional author, but the fact is that I’m currently a part-time housewife and professional cubical occupant.These stories are my attempt to turn that around and achieve some of my dreams. Specifically, I’d like to become a professional write-from-home author and housewife, and never have to dwell in a cubical again.I enjoy adventures, comedies, non-traditional romances, interwoven story arcs, most sorts of kinky goodness and juxtaposing the bizarre and larger than life with the daily and mundane... so those are the sorts of stories I’ll be trying to tell. (Although honesty behooves me to admit that I am a shy girl, and the amount of explicit eroticism you’ll find in my work will depend entirely on how much the story demands and how fiercely embarrassed I become while writing it!)Thank you for joining me on my journeys of imagination.

Book preview

Melvin left me while I sat there, stunned. His mocking laughter echoed in my ears even though his actual departure was silent. I wasn't sure how long I spent sitting there, trying to wrap my head around all the complications that had descended on my life with the onset of the new year. I would have preferred to be doing something, but that didn't matter: it wasn't like I could go anywhere. Melvin hadn't closed the door when he left, let alone put up the fallen curtain. Sunbeams still slashed through the room, effectively penning me in.

Melvin was a dick. I really didn't like the idea of being indebted to him.

Worse, I had no idea what to do with the insight into his emotions I'd gotten with his blood: My sadistic stalker elf thought he was in love with me. Oh, sure, he'd denied it -- but I'd felt what he'd felt, and he was full of bullshit. Either that, or Megan's love was really just a twisted infatuation, because the emotions they'd each felt toward me had been frighteningly similar: differing only in intensity and… I guess a sort of 'flavor' that was unique to each of them. I didn't have the vocabulary for all this vampire crap. I was going to have to start reading more horror fiction or making up words.

I was interrupted from my reverie by the sound of a large vehicle pulling into the driveway. That was a huge relief. I could tell from the sound that it was Hans' hummer, and as soon as the car door opened I could hear Hans' feet running for the house. I squinted into the sunlight pouring through the front door. If it were any later in the day, the porch roof probably would have blocked most of it. Damn bad luck, there.

When I saw Hans' muscular frame looming in the entrance I called his name happily. Hans! Can you close the door, please? I'd had all that time staring at the ceiling to figure out what to tell him about what had happened -- but I'd blown it by being overwhelmed. Fortunately, as far as 'first things first' went, my agenda was pretty obvious. And maybe hang the curtains back up? Hopefully that would give me some time to put an explanation together.

Hans hastily stepped into the house, pulling the front door shut behind him. I belatedly noticed that he was carrying his shotgun -- he must have seen the open door, possibly the uncovered window, and assumed the worst. His gaze took in the mess of charred floorboards where I'd been trapped in the sunlight and the state of my clothes. Almost instantly after that he was kneeling at my side, his shotgun on the ground beside him. Abigail, he asked in alarm, What happened?

I smiled in sickly defeat. So much for having time to figure things out. I closed my eyes and just tried to shove details out my mouth. The fae, I said. "We were ambushed while Megan was here. Once of them siphoned off the life force I'd gotten from you this morning. I ended up vamping out, and Megan and Katherine ran. But Katherine scuffed the line of salt Emma put across the threshold last night, and that let the fae in. I got a little messed up in the process of dealing with that, but I'm okay and the fae are gone now." I opened my eyes with a grimace. I was holding the truth pretty close to my vest -- not lying, exactly, but leaving out some very relevant details.

Unfortunately, I couldn't tell Hans everything that had happened until I'd had a chance to sound him out on the fae in general, and changelings in particular. The local fae King, Archarel, had gotten Hans' pack mates killed -- and he'd used a changeling to do it. Which meant I wasn't quite willing to tell Hans that my best friend, Megan, was a changeling until I knew he wouldn't freak out and vow to hunt her down in retribution or something. Especially since Melvin had been pretty confident that Archarel meant to use Megan to jump start his next war.

Fortunately, Hans was much more controlled and level headed than I'd ever expected a werewolf to be. I had pretty high hopes that I wouldn't be keeping Megan's circumstances a secret for long. Fumiko is on her way over, I think, I said, So if I can explain all at once I'd like to do it when she's here, too. That might buy me some time.

Hans' face went pale. Are you alright? He asked. His raised his wrist to me, offering before I could even answer. My gaze locked on the blue veins that ran under his skin, and I had to close my eyes again to make myself ignore them. I needed to keep a level head.

Too little blood, and I was a sociopathic murderer. Too much, and I was the hyper anxious paranoiac I'd been before my death. I really needed to sign myself up for therapy or pharmaceuticals or something while I was in one of these in between states. My feeding wasn't exactly a science -- and while I preferred to err on the side of neurotic over murderous, either extreme was pretty blatantly certifiable.

When I opened my eyes I was looking at Hans' face again. Yeah, I said. I'm okay, I reassured him. It was a little rough for a while, but one of the fae ended up in pieces and I got enough blood out of the other for my healing power to kick in. He didn't stick around for long after that -- I don't think anyone got what they were expecting out of that mess.

Hans dropped his gaze, like he was having trouble meeting mine. I'm sorry, he said softly. I should have been there.

Oh… oh, shit. Hans had shown up too late to save me when Mr. Salvatore had killed me. He hadn't been there when his pack mates had been killed, either. I didn't know what other events might have gone into the guilt that filled his tone, but given what little I knew about his history it shouldn't have surprised me, either.

No, I said without thinking. I reached out and cupped his jaw; forced him to face me. I looked him in the eye and refused to let him look away. "I sent you away, I said. Neither of us saw this coming and if anyone's to blame for me not being ready for what happened, it's me. I really should've learned that crazy shit can happen without warning or provocation by now. So don't you dare beat yourself up with could've, would've or should've. They're the most worthless words in the English language. Besides: I'm fine, and you being miserable won't do either of us any good. Got it?"

I continued to hold Hans' gaze until he nodded -- albeit unhappily. It was probably the best I was going to get.

I dropped my hands to his shirt, grabbed onto the fabric, and pulled him closer. That jolted him out of whatever self recriminations he was dwelling on. Hans didn't lose his balance exactly, but he did wrap his arms around me as I pulled him forward. My heart sped up a little. I wanted to blame it on coming out of shock, but my inner nutcase wouldn't let me deny the truth.

Too close, it jabbered. Big man; too close, what were you thinking?! My fight-or-flight responses started to rev up at the same time as I started to feel like I was suffocating. Get away, need space, get away! Hans tightened his embrace slightly, and I forced myself to bear it as long as possible. Although… Maybe I was just coming out of shock, and my panic mode was only now catching up to what had happened and was freaking out about Hans because he was what was available. I didn't know: I'm a vampire, not a psychiatrist.

Finally I couldn't take it any more. As nice as it felt -- and being safe in Hans' embrace was very nice -- being trapped in that same embrace was just too much for me to handle. When I felt my panic start to make my fangs lengthen, I pushed Hans back. He let me go. I let out a the breath I'd been holding to keep from hyperventilating and did my damnedest not to let him see how close to freaking out I'd been. Somehow I thought that might ruin my attempt at comforting him by letting him comfort me… if that wasn't a self-defeating circle already.

I blew out a long breath, momentarily grateful that most of the life force Melvin had offered me had apparently gone into healing me. Once Hans let go and straightened, my anxiety rapidly dropped away.

Okay then, I said. Curtain? Or can you just bring me my phone? I'd been holding it when Megan had accidentally drained my store of life force. I'd dropped it when I'd shoved her away -- and that meant it had been sitting on the wrong side of the window for me to get to it after Melvin had left. With all that sunlight between me and it, the phone may as well have been chucked into mount Doom for all the good it did me.

Hans fetched it immediately. I took it from him gratefully. I need to call Megan, I told him. "And Fumiko. And… fuck, my parents are in town."

Hans blinked, and I shook my head.

They think I should go home where it's 'safe', I explained to him. Mom was insisting I meet them for lunch so they can stuff me in the trunk and drive off if I insist on saying no.

I… see, Hans said.

My lips quirked in a grin despite myself. One thing at a time. Megan. Fumiko. My parents. Melvin.

Oh, and my clothes. They were pretty much ruined from the encounter with Mr. Eyelids and Melvin, and now that Hans had let me go most of my emotional potential was turning it's attention to squick.

Hans, can you please get that curtain back up, and then maybe put something together for me to wash with? I asked. I feel disgusting, but I can stomach it long enough to call Megan and Fumiko while you're doing that. Then, after I'm clean… and maybe have had a bite to drink… we can figure out what to do next.

Hans nodded. Of course, he said.

Thank you, I replied -- and it was heartfelt despite my currently somewhat reduced emotional capacity. Hans might want to beat himself up over not being there for the fight with Mr. Eyelids, but if he backed me up against mom he'd be taking on the more difficult task.

Hans scooped up the curtain rod from where Mr. Eyelids had dropped it and set about running it through the curtain's loops and wedging it back into its brackets. I watched him work. For a moment I just let myself be lost in wonder that I'd found someone who was so good to me despite all my crazy shit. Well, that and the play of his muscles under his shirt; his jeans stretching over his tight ass, his… A vicious, wretched part of me wondered how much of his taking care of me was because he cared about me, and how much was just because he felt guilty over getting me involved in the supernatural by accidentally informing me it was real in the first place.

I took a deep breath and looked away, determined not to dwell on that. I flipped open my phone and started scrolling through my contacts. The list was a short one, and it didn't take me long to find Megan.

I took one more deep breath, and then I hit 'dial.'

Chapter 2

The two phonecalls I made were anticlimactic: Neither Megan nor Fumiko answered. I wasn't terribly surprised in either case. I could only imagine what Megan was going through, and Fumiko wasn't the sort to answer her phone while driving. I left messages with both.

Megan, I'm sorry, I said to Megan's inbox. "I was cruel. You… when I lost my store of life force, the vampire's instincts took over. I would never have said those things to you like that if I were myself! But… some of it was true. And I know you don't know what's going on, and you probably don't feel like you can trust me. But… just… be careful, Megan. And be careful of Katherine. I know she's your friend and I can't tell you not to trust her, but I think she's known about you a lot longer than I have. She has friends that are fae, and the local fae are dangerous and… and just mean. So: be careful, okay? Magical beings can be a lot more scary now that you know they're real. Stay around people who don't believe in magic. The fae don't like that. Disbelief can keep them away. But if anything does try to give you shit, threaten them with me. Vampires are scarier. I groaned to myself. But you know that. Have I mentioned I'm sorry? Call me. Please."

By the time I was done stumbling through my message to Megan, Hans had finished with the curtain. He gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze on his way to the hallway. I bit my lip and tried to look appropriately thankful, but inside I was a mess. I knew Megan was my friend, and most of what I'd done so far was with that in mind. But also in mind was the question: how much worse had my life been because of her encouraging and feeding on my anxieties? I'd known she and I wouldn't have the friendship we used to -- not once I told her that I knew she had a crush on me, and told her that I was undead -- but now I had to face the fact that it would be different in entirely new ways.

For the first time since I'd really gotten to know her, I wasn't even sure if it would survive at all.

I reached up and gave Hans' hand a return squeeze, and tried to overlook his concerned expression. Of course he'd overheard: he'd been in the room and had supernaturally acute senses. I let go of Hans' hand and pulled up Fumiko's number. He let go of my shoulder and continued on his way upstairs.

The message I left for Fumiko was much more terse. Things went crazy after you left. Megan ran off; I can't get a hold of her. Call me. Odds were decent that Fumiko was on her way back and wouldn't get that message until she was here, but I was fine with that. I didn't care if we talked on the phone or in person: I just wanted to make sure I hadn't burned all my bridges with my only long term friends.

And I wanted to get clean.

I closed the phone and went upstairs. I peeled my clothes off as I went. They insisted on clinging to my skin in a truly disgusting fashion. When I got to the bathroom Hans had candles lit and was filling the tub. I was also down to my panties and feeling nauseous. I put my phone on the edge of the sink and dumped my clothes next to the hamper. Belatedly I realized that this was the most naked I'd been around Hans -- and I was a disgusting mess.

To hell with it, I thought. I can freak out about it when I'm fully sated. I stripped out of my panties and added them to the pile. None of it would be salvageable -- some of it had torn when I took it off, refusing to be removed except in strips. That was depressing. I really didn't have enough outfits to be able to afford constantly throwing them out. I was starting to suspect that something like this was the real reason Hans always wore plain jeans and generic white tee shirts: he could buy them in bulk.

That's enough, I told Hans as I approached him. I won't have time for a soak. I'll just make do with a scrub for now.

Hans twisted the water off and looked at me. I saw a glint of something in his eye, and couldn't tell if it was protectiveness or possessiveness or maybe a bit of both.

I looked away. I didn't just feel disgusting physically. I felt dirty for all the things I was holding back from telling him. I desperately hoped I'd be able to really explain what had happened once Fumiko was here.

Thank you, I said. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hans reach for me. He stopped when I stiffened and shook my head. I'm gross, I said to explain. And shy and naked and scared and a neurotic freak. Hans picked up one of the washcloths he'd stacked on the edge of the tub and handed it to me instead. I accepted it with a smile that wasn't even entirely forced. Thank you, I said again.

Is there anything else I can do? Hans asked. His accent was thick with contrition even though he hadn't done anything wrong. It actually made me feel guilty for making him feel that way.

Fortunately, Melvin's blood had not been enough. My emotions were coming in bursts when they were triggered, but then fading rapidly if nothing was happening to sustain them. I had already relaxed again, and didn't think I was in any danger of freaking out. I stepped into the tub and sat down on the edge with my feet in the water. Help me with my back? I offered. That would probably hit my big and male and too close and behind me triggers, but as long as I was braced for it I figured I would be able to manage. I swished the washcloth Hans had given me through the soapy water, rung it out, and started scrubbing an arm.

Hans took another cloth, wet it in the tub, rung it out, and started helping.

Washing with someone else was a new experience. I didn't know if Hans was being extra gentle because he was beating himself up for not being there when I was attacked or if this was just how he always was, but I liked it. A little. My nerves jangled at first, but to my surprise I managed to suppress that entirely after a few minutes. I started to suspect that once I fed and could feel my emotions full force once more I would look back on this and discover I liked it a lot.

Once I got over the prerequisite embarrassment, that is.

I made a mental note to try to return the favor the next time Hans took a shower. The thought made me bite my lip and start to blush. I was glad I was largely able to face away from Hans -- since my small store of emotional potential had been denied 'panic' as an outlet, it had thrown itself into indecent imaginings with a little more gusto than was strictly necessary.

We didn't talk much while I was washing. After I'd shampooed my hair I did ask Hans to help rinse it. He used the wash basin he'd brought to Emma last night and fresh water from the faucet. Then, once we'd drained the tub and I'd stepped out and we'd toweled me dry (and my: how my then fully engaged libido had loved that!) I heard Fumiko downstairs. She called out my name, then Megan's and even Katherine's.

I went to the bathroom door and shouted: Just a minute! down the hall. Then I turned to Hans. Can you invite her downstairs? I don't want to be in a room with windows right now.

Hans nodded in understanding and agreement. He started toward the hallway stairs, but I caught his wrist as he stepped past me.

To take the edge off, I explained when Hans glanced back at me. I raised his wrist to my lips; Hans let me. I bit and blood welled up across my lips.

Wolfy aggression surged through me. The last time I'd tasted Hans' blood I'd had to cope with raw, animal lust. This time, it seemed, his wolf was spoiling for a fight.

It was a sentiment I understood. I was clearly Hans' pack mate, and I'd been hurt. An attack on me was an attack on the pack. An attack was a challenge, and a challenge had to be answered. Hans' wolf wanted blood -- and not the way I did.

I took only two swallows before I forced myself to open my jaw wide enough for my fangs to slide free of Hans' flesh. I licked what blood remained on his skin until the punctures healed. Then I straightened and licked my lips, relishing the coppery taste that clung to them and the wild emotions that accompanied it.

I wanted to kill someone. Katherine was a likely candidate, but I fixated on Melvin instead. After all: Katherine was an enemy and you had to expect an enemy to turn on you. But Melvin… well, Melvin wasn't a friend, exactly, but he had used me. He'd tried to claim me. Me! Who did he think he was? If he thought he could just yank me to heel like some cur then he had another thing coming. I wasn't some puppy who was too inexperienced to make her own choices. And the choice he'd tried to force me to make: What an insult! Megan was my best friend. My pack mate. Of course I would protect her, and it wasn't Melvin's place to force me to. I was the fucking Alpha, and if Melvin wanted to challenge me on that then I was going to send him back to fairie land in bloody fucking pieces. I wasn't his.

Abruptly, I felt something snap inside me. It was an emotion; a feeling -- but it flayed me with nearly physical force when it went. I stumbled backward in surprise and sagged against the wall for support. My emotions jumbled together in a swirl of confusion -- but it was my emotions that surfaced a second later. Hans' had been subsumed. I felt another emotional snap, and my head throbbed like someone had just re-set a dislocated joint in my brain.

I blinked a few times to clear the fuzziness and pain and try to sort out what had happened. I nodded absently when Hans asked if I was okay -- I was too busy replaying the last couple of moments to really pay him attention.

Then it clicked. For just a moment there I had denied Melvin's ownership of me. Or rather, Hans' wolf had. Had that first snap been the geas being shaken off? And then the second: had that been because it rebounded back into place after I fully subsumed the wolf that had been displacing it? I smiled shakily at Hans while I digested that possibility.

I'm fine, I told Hans. Please ask Fumiko to join us downstairs, I reminded him to divert his attention. I'm going to get dressed, and then I'll be right down. Actually, freakish headache aside, I was better than fine: Melvin's geas had a vulnerability. There had to be a way for me to leverage that; maybe to free myself from the fae's influence.

Hans nodded, but I could tell he wanted more of an explanation. Well, that was fair. He deserved one, and I wanted to give it to him. I watched him go.

Once Hans turned down the stairs, I hurried into the guest room. Most of my clothes were still downstairs, but Emma's overnight bag was at the foot of the bed. I hastily looted it for a blouse, slacks that were too long, and a belt.

Maybe I had Hans' blood to blame, but I was starting to feel a little nervous. I really hoped my talk with Fumiko and Hans went better than the one with Megan and Katherine. I rolled up the cuffs of Emma's slacks. Unfortunately, there was only one way to find out. And I wasn't going to put it off anymore.

Barefoot, I padded down to the basement. I had some serious explaining to do.

Chapter 3

When I entered the basement Hans and Fumiko were waiting on me. Hans was leaning back with his elbows on the bar -- from there he could watch both the door and Fumiko, but do so while giving Fumiko her space and not doing anything intimidating -- like, say, being behind her or between her and the exit. I gave him mental points for a good call.

For her part, Fumiko was pretending to browse Mr. Salvatore's DVD racks -- but I could tell her heart rate was slightly elevated and her muscle carried a little more tension than normal. I couldn't think of her as being skittish -- that just didn't fit Fumiko, ever -- but she was probably ready to break someone and bolt, if she felt like she had to.

Fumiko must have been watching the door out of the corner of her eye, because she turned to face me as soon as I came in -- and I hadn't been making enough noise for her to have heard me. So, she said. She held up her phone as though to remind me of the message I'd left, then slipped it into her pocket. Define 'crazy.' Because as far as I can tell, with you that can be anything from hocus like 'I think I'm a vampire' to terrifyingly real 'our boss is a psycho kidnapper who just burned down my apartment.' Fumiko crossed her arms and looked at me expectantly.

I sighed. Apparently while she'd been out Fumiko had managed to talk herself out of whatever suspension of disbelief she'd been feeling before she left.

I looked at Hans, then back at Fumiko, and then stepped the rest of the way into the room. I'm not telling you hocus-pocus mumbo jumbo, I told her. "I am a vampire. Do you need to see the fangs again?"

Fumiko scowled at me. Look, tension was high and I'll admit I bought into it a little before, but I'm not stupid. I cosplay, Abby. It's going to take more than some dental prosthetics to prove something like that… and I don't even care! She threw up her arms in frustration. Look, Megan isn't here, and she isn't answering her phone, and I don't really want to waste time with your weird games and this undead nonsense while Mr. Salvatore is still out there somewhere, okay? So: What happened after I left and where did Megan go?

I took in a deep breath through my nose. I was used to people doubting me: I liked to make up outrageous stories, after all. And having people doubt me when they were just stories didn't cause any hard feelings: it always just made me try to prove my point harder. The whole point was to use nonsense as a distraction from my very real behind the scenes freak outs. But having people doubt me when it was important and I was telling the truth… that was really, really annoying.

I blew out the breath through my mouth. If you want to know what happened with Megan and Katherine and everything, you're going to have to start by believing me about the vampire thing or none of the rest of it will make sense. I froze time before Fumiko could respond. I figured: I'd just taken a sip from Hans and he was right there if I needed more. For once I could afford to be a little casual with my powers, especially since showing them off might convince Fumiko to take me seriously.

I crossed the room until I was standing in front of Fumiko. It got harder and harder to move as I got closer to her -- just like it had in the hospital, when I'd done this for the first time and tried to approach Hans and Emma. I got close enough, though. When I was just a couple steps away, I let time start back up again.

Fumiko, I'm a vampire, I said. Her eyes shot wide, but I froze time again before she could react -- just in case her reaction would be to punch me in the face or something. I skipped back a few steps and sat down on the end of the couch that Fumiko was facing, well out of arm's reach. Then I let time spin back up to normal speed. I cleared my throat and Fumiko's eyes snapped to my new location. And if you think that's crazy… I looked over the back of the couch at Hans. Hans? He raised an eyebrow. Wolf, please.

Hans turned around and started to pull off his shirt. I turned back to Fumiko, who looked at Hans, then at me -- then did a double take back to Hans. Her cheeks heated slightly.

I know how you feel, I thought in sympathy. That blush had probably been for the jeans coming off. I didn't look back at Hans, though. I knew what was going to happen and I was determined to make sure Fumiko saw it, too.

Fumiko cleared her throat awkwardly. Abby, she started to say -- and then her jaw dropped for a second as the cascading cracks of splintering bone and ripping tears of torn flesh announced Hans' transformation. Fumiko's heart raced. She fell back a half step, slipping into a stance like she thought she was going to have to fight. Her hands started to come up in front of her.

Hans is a werewolf, I announced, bringing Fumiko's attention back to me. She glanced at me, then back at him -- then back at me again, and took another step back. Clearly, she was giving more weight to my claim that I was a vampire, given these new developments. I know, I said. "It's pretty freaky. I'm sorry, but I've never really had to do the 'magic is real' speech before, but it's really important that you believe me about that because pretty much everything that has happened in the last few days has something to do with it. Also: don't worry about Hans. He looks scary, sure, but he's still a big sweetheart inside."

Hans made a howl-bark of agreement and came over to the couch. Then he hopped up beside me, turned a circle, and settled down with his head on his paws -- doing his best to look as demure and harmless as a werewolf can. I started scratching between his ears.

Fumiko stared. That. Is. Unbelievable. She said.

I snorted. I know, right? I only found out… jeez, it was just the day before New Year's eve. I didn't believe it until I'd poked Hans-the-wolf on his furry head, I added with a laugh. "But there wasn't much point in denying it after that. Oh, hey: Want to touch? He is super soft.

Hans twisted his head around to give me a reproachful look. What? I said. You are. He rolled his eyes and settled his head back down. I grinned at him, and was still grinning when I looked back up at Fumiko. She took a cautious step forward.

So, is he… Fumiko hesitated, looking for the right words. Still him? Inside, I mean. He's not, like, mentally an animal now, is he?

I shook my head. The way he explained it, there's a little bit of change over in terms of instincts -- but he has the same mind, memories, intellect, and all that jazz regardless of his form. So yeah, this is Hans. He only goes out of control around the full moon.

Fumiko took another slow step forward, then paused again. And you're…

A vampire, I finished for her. "Yeah. As of a few nights ago. Don't worry, though: I'm only out of control when I'm hungry. I tried to smile, but Fumiko didn't look reassured. After a second, I realized why. And I'm not hungry now, I hastily assured her. So I'm the me you're used to right now. Just with a few extra caveats."

Fumiko frowned thoughtfully. Okay, she said. She took another step forward and reached out for Hans. He sat patiently and let her. While I had poked him nervously and then jumped away when I'd done this test, Fumiko placed a finger firmly on the bridge of his muzzle, then ran it up between his eyes, over the top of his head and part way down his spine before pulling her hand away. Then she looked at me and stepped back. Right, she said. I'm convinced.

I blew out a sigh of relief. Good. Then I can get on to your actual questions. I hesitated and stopped scritching Hans between the ears -- I'd started without even thinking about it, when Fumiko had backed off. Um, Hans, you should probably turn back into a man for this part. So, you know, you can actually talk. Hans gave a snort and a lazy yawn before picking himself up and hopping off the couch. I looked back at Fumiko while Hans padded away; she watched him go with absent minded fascination. This part is just as freaky, I told her.

Oh? Fumiko answered without looking away. I heard the popping, tearing, crackling mutilation of Hans' wolf form as he shifted back into a man and cringed a little. Fumiko's only reaction was a slight widening of the eyes. "So, does that hurt?" she called out to Hans.

I heard Hans chuckle behind me. Quite a bit, he said jovially. "But I've had plenty of time to acclimate myself to that particular pain. I think it's harder for the people who try to resist it, or who live in dread of it. But it's part of who I am, so I choose to live with it. I shift frequently, even when I don't have a demonstration to give, and as such I've gotten adept at shifting quickly. And really, once the transformation ends, the pain does too. When I was first cursed, I didn't really understand that -- but what lingered after a shift was always more in my head than anything else. A combination of remembering the pain I was in, and phantom pain for a body I no longer had."

Fumiko tilted her head slightly. Huh, was all she said.

I stood up, then, and paced away from the couch so I could turn and face both Hans and Fumiko. Hans was only half dressed, but he paused in pulling on his shirt to pay attention to me. Alright, then, I said. Now that you're both capable of contributing… I have a lot of stuff to say. So you two should probably sit down. And, um. I bit my lip, took a deeper breath, and forced myself forward. "And, um, you should probably not contribute until after I've wound down, because I've got a lot to say and a lot of it is strange and I want to make sure I get it all out before I'm interrupted and have to build my nerve back up."

Hans nodded and strode forward to take my spot on the couch, pulling on his tee shirt as he did. Fumiko sat on the opposite end -- and although she spared Hans a glance as she settled down, soon I had both of their attentions.

I was not a fan of that particular spotlight.

I started to pace. I was struggling with what to say, how much to hold back; how to phrase my questions to Hans… and then abruptly realized I was being stupid. I wanted to know how Hans would take finding out about Megan, but there was no subtle way to get that information -- or if there was, I wasn't subtle enough to know it. Blunt. So far, that had served me best when talking to Hans. I mean, what was