Jessica's Desire

By Shannon Casey

Jessica Stone is on the verge of turning forty-two when she finds her world collapsing around her. Mike, her husband and her one and only love, seems to have lost his desire for her. No matter how hard she tries, he never appears to notice her. Finally, on the verge of an emotional breakdown, she does the only thing she can to save herself. She runs away. Her escape takes her to Hawaii but her heartache only intensifies due to all of the memories she and Mike had shared there. Emotionally shattered, she struggles with the most difficult decision of her life—whether to divorce Mike or not.

• Language: English
• Publisher: eXtasy Books Inc
• Release date: Dec 1, 2015
• ISBN: 9781487403805

Shannon Casey

Shannon Casey was born in Turlock, California, the second oldest of eight children.  Being the only girl she had to use her imagination to entertain herself.  She was also a tomboy who never let the fact that she was a girl slow her down.  She learned to ride horses better than the boys and practiced her hand at roping and barrel racing.   She married her high school sweetheart during her senior year and became a mother at 17, but she didn’t let that slow her down.  Her daughter became her motivation to obtain her college degree and create a better life for them.  Shannon graduated from CSU Stanislaus in 1997 and soon after had her second daughter.  She went on to obtain two master degrees in psychology, two credentials and a private license.  During her career as a psychologist she never gave up her dream of becoming an author, but as the years passed she never found the time to actually write. Like most people, the daily grind and spending time with her children took precedence over her desire to create.  Then she met her second husband, Corey Casey, through her older brother Anthony.  They married in March 2008. When her son was born in July 2009 it was the perfect time for her to cut her hours to part time and do something more creative.  Corey inspired her to pick up her pen and write, telling her that she would never know unless she tried.   Since that time, she has written her first novel, traveled and found her creative outlet.  Passion from the Vine is sort of a compilation of all the things Shannon loves; travelling, cooking, wine tasting, and romance. 

Book preview

Is it possible to rekindle a dying ember of love?

Jessica Stone is on the verge of turning forty-two when she finds her world collapsing around her. Mike, her husband and her one and only love, seems to have lost his desire for her. No matter how hard she tries, he never appears to notice her. Finally, on the verge of an emotional breakdown, she does the only thing she can to save herself. She runs away. Her escape takes her to Hawaii but her heartache only intensifies due to all of the memories she and Mike had shared there. Emotionally shattered, she struggles with the most difficult decision of her life—whether to divorce Mike or not.

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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Jessica’s Desire

Copyright © 2015 Shannon Casey

ISBN: 978-1-4874-0380-5

Cover art by Carmen Waters

All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher.

Published by eXtasy Books Inc or

Devine Destinies, an imprint of eXtasy Books Inc

Look for us online at:

www.eXtasybooks.com or www.devinedestinies.com

Smashwords Edition

Jessica’s Desire

By

Shannon Casey

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my husband, for all of his support with my writing and in life.

Chapter One

Jessica lay awake as the dark fog of yet another panic attack overwhelmed her. She stared at the ceiling and tried to will herself into a calm state, but all her attempts to push her erratic thoughts back were useless. She felt like a caged animal pacing the interior of her pen searching for an escape route, hoping that by some miracle her captor had forgotten to throw the latch. Alas, he never did. She glanced over at him, sleeping like a babe, totally unaware of her inner turmoil. She wanted to hate him for his peace.

Her ever-present questions and self-doubts ran through her mind. When did her life fall apart? How did she let herself drown in a pity pool? When did she bury her desires so deeply that she lost who she truly was?

Now facing forty-two, she was a shell of her former self. The once-vivacious girl had disappeared inside a tired and sad woman. She always did what she was supposed to do, what society deemed right. She got married, raised two children, worked and tried to be the perfect wife. Somewhere during the last twenty-two years of her marriage her essence had disappeared and was replaced by the unrecognizable person that she now was. But for some reason it was when her youngest daughter moved out that the fire began raging within her, like the last inferno before her flame was completely extinguished. She had two choices: stay and completely melt away, or run and try to fly. Was there really a choice? Her attacks were becoming more frequent, the terror more real, as she plastered a fake smile on her face and tried to sweetly go through the motions of life.

There was a particular morning she recalled in vivid detail. She was doing her morning routine, washing dishes, when cold sweat began to poor down her face. Her heart pounded as she looked at her husband watching the morning news while she slaved away at the kitchen and wondered when was the last time he had truly looked at her. Not as a mother, friend or caretaker, but as a woman. She couldn’t remember.

He still called her honey, like he always had, but the old desire for her had left his eyes. They had fallen into the death trap of being roommates. Well, that wasn’t completely true—it was more like a parent-child relationship, for she had become mother to all. She did the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, bills, pretty much everything having to do with the running of their home. He worked and brought home a good salary, but that was where his responsibilities ended.

She couldn’t lie to herself—she still loved this man and that was the crux of her problem. She still found him attractive and interesting after all these years together, but he no longer desired her. She used to try to do things to gain his attention, but when his behavior didn’t change, she gave up. He was always too caught up in his own thoughts and work to find the time to wine and dine her.

She knew that her beauty was dwindling and she had added a few extra pounds over the last couple years, but her passion was still alive. Her inner voice was telling her to do something drastic, before it was too late and she found herself old and alone. She joined a gym in an attempt to improve her outer appearance, with the hope that it would improve her inner thoughts, but alas, her attendance was sporadic at best. However, she had to give herself credit for the ten pounds she’d lost, even if he didn’t notice.

She wanted to shine again. Jessica knew that somewhere inside of her lurked a funny, attractive woman who was begging to be released upon the world. She wasn’t ready to be put on a shelf to wither away in the darkness. She begged God to help her find a way to rise from this and discover herself again.

Her mind shifted to the dreams of her younger years and all the things she thought she’d accomplish. She had wanted to travel the world, to become an artist or writer, to create something from nothing, but she fell in love much too young. She was barely eighteen when he caught her eye and nineteen when he won her heart. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, and he treated her like a princess. She ended up pregnant and married by twenty. Back then she thought he was the yin to her yang and that they would always be in love. Little did she know that even love died if it wasn’t regularly tended to.

She had never had a chance to find herself and actually go after her dreams, because she was too busy taking care of a family. She desperately wanted to leave this town, to escape these people she had known all of her life and search for new ones. She wanted to be free of her