Deadly Short Stories

By Carl S. Plumer

Welcome to the universe of Carl S. Plumer. . . . . . in which a young man contemplates the end of his short life at his birthday party. A depraved assassin considers one final act of goodness. Four brothers come to grips with the deadly consequences of losing their mother's ashes. And a husband discovers too late that he's been cuckolded by an Elvis impersonator. Enjoy short stories and flash fiction of what can only be described as "Carl S. Plumer's universe." Unlike anything you may have read before, the stories herein are sometimes funny, many times horrendous, but always compassionate. This collection of stories by Carl S. Plumer includes a special bonus: "Contemporary Interpretations of Minute Mysteries." It's the first story Mr. Plumer ever told. And it's a strange one, indeed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Speedy Publishing LLC
• Release date: Apr 15, 2014
• ISBN: 9781632872784

Carl S. Plumer

CARL S. PLUMER was born in New York City, holds advanced degrees in writing, and has spent his life surrounded by words. He's delivered newspapers, worked at a printing press, managed a bookstore, taught writing, wrote for literary magazines, published technical and fiction books, and has always considered himself a writer. His first novel, Mad About Undead You, was an Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Quarterfinalist and a National Indie Excellence Award Finalist.

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Carl S. Plumer

Smashwords Edition

Copyright Carl S. Plumer

Discover other titles by Carl S. Plumer at Smashwords.com: Mad About Undead You and How to Save a World From Dying

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Smashwords Edition / Manufactured in the United States of America.

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DEADLY SHORT STORIES

© COPYRIGHT 2014   CARL S. PLUMER   ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from the author at [e-mail].

This book is a work of fiction. The characters, events, and places portrayed in this book are products of the author’s imagination and are either fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author. For more information on the author and his works, please visit www.carlplumer.com

Cover Photo & Design: MELODY SIMMONS

Editor: REBECCA HAMILTON, BETH LYNN

Proofreader: KRISTEN PLUMER

If you liked these stories, why not let others know? Tell your friends. Chat about your favorite story from this collection on Facebook. Mention the stories on Twitter. Perhaps even leave a brief review where you bought the book online. Word-of-mouth is crucial for any author to succeed. Thank you for your support!

someday has arrived™

as always, this one is for kristen

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

I WON’T KEEP YOU, AS I KNOW YOU are probably eager to get to the stories. I just wanted to give you a quick background on how these tales came to be.

Short stories are a challenge all their own, a different challenge than long fiction. It’s about getting the plot and the mood down in as few words as possible. Capture a moment in a character’s life, a glimpse of a scene, and hope it resonates, seems real, and makes you reflect. More than that, makes you feel something.

A set of these tales were written strict to form as part of my experiment with a format called, flash fiction. Basically, this type of fiction involves telling a tale in under a thousand words, sometimes way under, as in only a hundred words.

100% Barney, Rat Trap, and Layers are all examples of a shorter (but not the shortest) form of flash fiction. Urban Jungle Boy and Things That Happened on My Last Birthday are examples of longer flash fiction.

The flash fiction stories in this collection were created with guidance and instruction of Pamelyn Casto. If you’re interested in learning how to write this way, participate in one of her classes. She is the first, the best, and the original when it comes to the art of flash fiction.

Some of these tales were the fruit of a single sitting; others, such as the longer ones, involved writing sessions over many days while the story grew out of my head and heart and into the real world.

I hope you enjoy the stories herein inscribed. I continue to write more of these short tales as I receive inspiration—which is why I foresee a Deadly Short Stories: Vol. 2 in the future.

BIG FOOT

EULOGY

HE WEREN’T GOING TO HAVE HIS LIFE STOMPED out by no big foot, said the one in the black plaid Goodwill suit, as he winged a shriveled rose down onto the coffin.

No, sir, he weren’t going to have his life stomped out by no size 170½ shoe, said the next, sprinkling dirt clumps into the grave. He weren’t going to; he wouldn’t have it. Lightning flashed across the cityscape behind them.

No matter which muthafuckin’ magazine editor’s size 170½ shoe was crushin’ the very life out of him, said the mystery girl, mascara running down her cheeks as thunder played drums across the coroner gray sky. The song of exultation in his black heart could not be snuffed out by no angry big foot. Charles Mansen, we hardly knew ya . . .

HISTORY

Given the name Charles Mansen by his folks as a grim joke (the Mansen part was for real, the Charles part unforgivable), Charles Mansen had put up with some serious ocean