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    A Tramp Abroad: “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
    A Tramp Abroad: “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
    A Tramp Abroad: “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
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    A Tramp Abroad: “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

    By Mark Twain

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    About this ebook

    Samuel Langhorne Clemens was born in 1835 and is far better known by his pen name; Mark Twain. An American author and humorist of the first order he is perhaps most famous for his novels, The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer, written in 1876, and its sequel, The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn, written in 1885 and often described with that mythic line - "the Great American Novel." Twain grew up in Hannibal, Missouri, which would later provide the backdrop for these great novels. Apprenticed to a printer he also worked as a typesetter but eventually became a master riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River. Later, heading west with his brother, Orion to make his fortune he failed at gold mining and instead turned to journalism and found his true calling as a writer of humorous stories. His wit and humour sparkle from every page, his craft evident with every phase and punctured target. Of course as a master of his craft his observations on people, situations and locations create a fabric of great texture and detail and this reflects across short stories, novels and his travel writings. Twain was born during a visit by Halley's Comet, and predicted that he would "go out with it" as well. He died the day following the comet's subsequent return in 1910. Here we present A Tramp Abroad.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherCopyright Group
    Release dateOct 20, 2014
    ISBN9781785430008
    A Tramp Abroad: “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
    Author

    Mark Twain

    Mark Twain (1835-1910) was an American humorist, novelist, and lecturer. Born Samuel Langhorne Clemens, he was raised in Hannibal, Missouri, a setting which would serve as inspiration for some of his most famous works. After an apprenticeship at a local printer’s shop, he worked as a typesetter and contributor for a newspaper run by his brother Orion. Before embarking on a career as a professional writer, Twain spent time as a riverboat pilot on the Mississippi and as a miner in Nevada. In 1865, inspired by a story he heard at Angels Camp, California, he published “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County,” earning him international acclaim for his abundant wit and mastery of American English. He spent the next decade publishing works of travel literature, satirical stories and essays, and his first novel, The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today (1873). In 1876, he published The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, a novel about a mischievous young boy growing up on the banks of the Mississippi River. In 1884 he released a direct sequel, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which follows one of Tom’s friends on an epic adventure through the heart of the American South. Addressing themes of race, class, history, and politics, Twain captures the joys and sorrows of boyhood while exposing and condemning American racism. Despite his immense success as a writer and popular lecturer, Twain struggled with debt and bankruptcy toward the end of his life, but managed to repay his creditors in full by the time of his passing at age 74. Curiously, Twain’s birth and death coincided with the appearance of Halley’s Comet, a fitting tribute to a visionary writer whose steady sense of morality survived some of the darkest periods of American history.

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    Reviews for A Tramp Abroad

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    • 4/5
      When Twain visited Germany in 1879 he was suffering writers block. His great work Huckleberry Finn was stuck mid-stream and he was too. What better way to shake the cobwebs off then a trip to Europe. Twain struggled through the writing of A Tramp Abroad and it shows in the sort of uneven quality and changing direction. Nevertheless it contains some excellent material. The first part about Heidelberg is the best - Twain didn't actually float a raft down the river and wreck (like what happened to Finn), this was made-up, but the descriptions of scenery and place makes it easy to follow on Google Maps and gain a sense of the place. The second best is in Switzerland as he recounts some climbs of renown up to the time, one gets a good sense of climbing culture and life in 19th Century. This is my first travel book by Twain.
    • 3/5
      The third of Twain's "travel books". Not as funny as the first (Innocents Abroad) and the writing also doesn't seem as fluent, but I still enjoyed the read. Some great little insights into life and travel 150 years ago.Read Nov 2016
    • 2/5
      An uneven read. Some parts are genuinely funny--other parts rather tedious.

      Interesting seeing long ago countries and peoples through the eyes of a tourist of that time, even if he does tend to go overboard for his audience.
    • 3/5
      A quirky little book. Some very clever Twain humorous observations. Other parts quite bland. It was written (or he gathered material) while he was traveling with his family in Europe (mainly Germany and Switzerland) 1878-9. He makes some amusing observations about the German language, even recommendations on how to simplify it.
    • 4/5
      A Tramp Abroad gives an account of one of Mark Twain's journeys through Europe. It is one of the author's travelogues in which he shares his observations while 'tramping' through Germany, Switzerland, France and Italy. 'Tramping' here includes the ascent of Mont Blanc by telescope. With a book as this you cannot really tell what exactly it is about apart from saying what I just said. You'd either have to tell it all or just leave it. I decided to leave it for the interested readers to explore. Just imagine an American traveling through Europe at the end of the 19th century.To my mind there are certain things that make this book an interesting, if unconventional, read. First, there is Twain's gift for humorous depictions of people and places. Twain manages to tell his stories in a lighthearted fashion that actually makes you laugh out loud at times. Second, A Tramp Abroad contains various drawings made by the author himself to support his stories with some sort of 'proof'. Those drawings further contribute to the satirical way this book is written in. Eventually I have to say that I liked how Twain constantly tries to convince the reader of the truthfulness of what he's telling. At numerous points in the book, the author uses footnotes to heighten his credibility. There is even an appendix to fit in all the accounts Twain could not get into his main narrative. This last aspect is somewhat ironic as the main narrative is just an unconnected telling of stories in which the narrator often digresses into things that are only remotely relevant to his story. To give potential readers some idea of what I especially liked about this book and about Mark Twain in general I chose some quotations that I find quite revealing as to Twain's style. Personally, I think Twain is a genius. I have since found out there is nothing the Germans like so much as an opera. They like it, not in a mild and moderate way, but with their whole hearts. This is a legitimate result of habit and education. Our nation will like the opera, too, by and by, no doubt. One in fifty of those who attend our operas likes it already, perhaps, but I think a good many of the other forty-nine go in order to learn to like it, and the rest in order to be able to talk knowingly about it. The latter usually hum the airs while they are being sung, so that their neighbors may perceive that they have been to operas before. The funerals of these do not occur often enough.(on opera visits, p. 50) The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.(on German wine, p. 84)Now, in the end I was not sure how to rate this book in terms of stars. A Tramp Abroad is certainly an interesting and funny read. However, I think to really enjoy it you have to have been in one of the countries that are depicted in the book or have some knowledge about Germany and Switzerland. Otherwise, you just would not enjoy the book that much, I assume. Living in Germany, though, I find the book highly recommendable. Finally a note on the reading experience. A book with little above 400 pages that is divided into 50 chapters and an appendix is nothing like the usual reading experience you have with novels. But then again A Tramp Abroad is not a novel. So you might need some time to get used to the structure of the book. It is more like some fifty plus separate stories as Twain usually tells more than one story per chapter. All things considered, I would rate the book with 3.5 stars.
    • 4/5
      As Dave Eggers says in the introduction, this book is funny. Sure, there are times when Twain's descriptions and narrative run a little long, but the many humorous vignettes in this book make up for those portions. The chapters detailing the humorously exaggerated epic ascent of a mountain when they really were just lost in the fog. The longest running joke throughout the book is how Twain and his companion hardly ever walk anywhere in their "walking tour." The appendices are also very funny as stand-alone pieces, especially the one on the "awful" German language. Overall, a very enjoyable read, even if you are not a Twain fan.
    • 3/5
      Twain writes a strong travelogue, and A Tramp Abroad is no exception. His xenophobia is in rare form here. While perhaps not as strong as The Innocents Abroad, it's an entertaining ride just the same. You'll never look at Germany and Germans the same way again. I'm told that Germans love The Simpsons, this book is our chance to return the good natured laughter.
    • 3/5
      if you are not a twain addict, which I am, I'd recommend leaving this one alone. It's basically a travelogue and basically boring. What saves it are Twain's silly symphonies of scarcasm, sardonicism, and satire located in various little stories throughout the book, along with his relationship with Harris, his agent. Whether Harris is his book agent or travel agent never is clear, but Twain subjects this poor man to every test that comes along -- parachuting off a mile high cliff with an umbrella, for instance. (It doesn't happen. Chill.) I skimmed about half of the book and still took a week to read it.
    • 4/5
      "A Tramp Abroad", like any dated satire, is made difficult to appreciate when society is no longer innundated with the thing being satirized; in this case, 19th century travelogues from Americans travelling abroad who used a narrow lens to arrive at their impression of other cultures. Consequently I had no idea when he was kidding or not. To understand Europe in the later 1800s you'll have to seek elsewhere. Did German students pointlessly duel to the point of mutilating each other (doubtful)? Could a ship actually navigate the entire length of a winding river by dragging a chain through its belly (maybe...)? I had less patience for the chapters that were too obviously false from start to finish, like his tackling the Matterhorn.It worked best when I read each chapter as if it were a blog entry. That format would have suited Mark Twain admirably. While I was reading his travelogue in this way, I didn't mind that the chapters felt like a mostly disconnected series of episodes, some about what he saw and did on his travels, some digressing into retelling the legends he picked up, personal foibles, etc. Then I was able to fully enjoy the obvious kidding, his talent for description, and be amused with wondering how much was farce and what was fact (is there a study guide that sorts this out?). Less frequently, it felt like the days when someone invited you over to see a slideshow of their trip. Then it was someone naddering on and on about where he went, what he did, look how beautiful this bit of scenery is, here's a shot of a person we met and let me tell you her life story, etc.There's no denying Twain's skill for telling any kind of story about anything. A blog by Mark Twain would have had me reading daily and, sure, even an invitation to a Mark Twain slideshow would win my attendance. I'm not sure this book is the best way to sample him, but it is a way, and you'll definitely obtain a sense of his style. Remember to read the often quoted appendices relating to Heidelberg Castle, and the German language.
    • 5/5
      1/4 brilliant and hilarious. 1/4 wry and sometimes sophomoric puns and gags. 1/4 repetitive attempts at humor. 1/4 late 19th century travelogue. The French dueling description was a scream and the observation of German students (hacking each other up during fencing challenges) was spot-on accurate. 'Well worth the time it took to get through all this, from the perfect side story and behavioral description of a Blue Jay, all the way through the appendices. I love Mark Twain and this is one of his better works.

    Book preview

    A Tramp Abroad - Mark Twain

    A Tramp Abroad by Mark Twain

    Samuel Langhorne Clemens was born in 1835 and is far better known by his pen name; Mark Twain. 

    An American author and humorist of the first order he is perhaps most famous for his novels, The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer, written in 1876, and its sequel, The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn, written in 1885 and often described with that mythic line - the Great American Novel.

    Twain grew up in Hannibal, Missouri, which would later provide the backdrop for these great novels. Apprenticed to a printer he also worked as a typesetter but eventually became a master riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River. Later, heading west with his brother, Orion to make his fortune he failed at gold mining and instead turned to journalism and found his true calling as a writer of humorous stories.  His wit and humour sparkle from every page, his craft evident with every phase and punctured target. Of course as a master of his craft his observations on people, situations and locations create a fabric of great texture and detail and this reflects across short stories, novels and his travel writings.  

    Twain was born during a visit by Halley's Comet, and predicted that he would go out with it as well. He died the day following the comet's subsequent return in 1910.

    Index Of Contents

    CHAPTER I

    A Tramp over Europe - On the Holsatia - Hamburg - Frankfort-on-the-Main - How it Won its Name - A Lesson in Political Economy - Neatness in Dress - Rhine Legends - The Knave of Bergen The Famous Ball - The Strange Knight - Dancing with the Queen - Removal of the Masks - The Disclosure - Wrath of the Emperor - The Ending

    CHAPTER II

    At Heidelberg - Great Stir at a Hotel - The Portier - Arrival of the Empress - The Schloss Hotel - Location of Heidelberg - The River Neckar - New Feature in a Hotel - Heidelberg Castle - View from the Hotel - A Tramp in the Woods - Meeting a Raven - Can Ravens Talk? - Laughed at and Vanquished - Language of Animals - Jim Baker - Blue-Jays

    CHAPTER III

    Baker's Blue-Jay Yarn - Jay Language - The Cabin - Hello, I reckon I've struck something - A Knot Hole - Attempt to fill it - A Ton of Acorns - Friends Called In - A Great Mystery - More Jays called A Blue Flush - A Discovery - A Rich Joke - One that Couldn't See It

    CHAPTER IV

    Student Life - The Five Corps - The Beet King - A Free Life - Attending Lectures - An Immense Audience - Industrious Students - Politeness of the Students - Intercourse with the Professors Scenes at the Castle Garden - Abundance of Dogs - Symbol of Blighted Love - How the Ladies Advertise

    CHAPTER V

    The Students' Dueling Ground - The Dueling Room - The Sword Grinder - Frequency of the Duels - The Duelists - Protection against Injury - The Surgeon - Arrangements for the Duels - The First Duel - The First Wound - A Drawn Battle - The Second Duel - Cutting and Slashing - Interference of the Surgeon

    CHAPTER VI

    The Third Duel - A Sickening Spectacle - Dinner between Fights - The Last Duel - Fighting in Earnest - Faces and Heads Mutilated - Great Nerve of the Duelists - Fatal Results not Infrequent - The World's View of these Fights

    CHAPTER VII

    Corps - laws and Usages - Volunteering to Fight - Coolness of the Wounded - Wounds Honorable - Newly bandaged Students around Heidelberg - Scarred Faces Abundant - A Badge of Honor - Prince Bismark as a Duelist - Statistics - Constant Sword Practice - Color of the Corps - Corps Etiquette

    CHAPTER VIII

    The Great French Duel - Mistaken Notions - Outbreak in the French Assembly - Calmness of M Gambetta - I Volunteer as Second - Drawing up a Will - The Challenge and its Acceptance - Difficulty in Selection of Weapons - Deciding on Distance - M. Gambetta's Firmness - Arranging Details - Hiring Hearses - How it was Kept from the Press - March to the Field - The Post of Danger - The Duel - The Result - General Rejoicings - The Only One Hurt - A Firm Resolution

    CHAPTER IX

    At the Theatre - German Ideal - At the Opera - The Orchestra - Howlings and Wailings - A Curious Play - One Season of Rest - The Wedding Chorus - Germans Fond of the Opera - Funerals Needed  - A Private Party - What I Overheard - A Gentle Girl - A Contribution - Box - Unpleasantly Conspicuous

    CHAPTER X

    Four Hours with Wagner - A Wonderful Singer, Once - Only a Shriek - An Ancient Vocalist - He Only Cry - Emotional Germans - A Wise Custom - Late Comers Rebuked - Heard to the Last - No Interruptions Allowed - A Royal Audience - An Eccentric King - Real Rain and More of It - Immense Success - Encore! Encore! - Magnanimity of the King

    CHAPTER XI

    Lessons in Art - My Great Picture of Heidelberg Castle - Its Effect in the Exhibition - Mistaken for a Turner - A Studio - Waiting for Orders - A Tramp Decided On - The Start for Heilbronn - Our Walking Dress - Pleasant March to you - We Take the Rail - German People on Board - Not Understood - Speak only German and English - Wimpfen - A Funny Tower - Dinner in the Garden - Vigorous Tramping - Ride in a Peasant's Cart - A Famous Room

    CHAPTER XII

    The Rathhaus - An Old Robber Knight, Gotz Von Berlichingen - His Famous Deeds - The Square Tower - A Curious old Church - A Gay Turn-out - A Legend - The Wives' Treasures - A Model Waiter - A Miracle Performed - An Old Town - The Worn Stones

    CHAPTER XIII

    Early to Bed - Lonesome - Nervous Excitement - The Room We Occupied - Disturbed by a Mouse - Grow Desperate - The Old Remedy - A Shoe Thrown - Result - Hopelessly Awake - An Attempt to Dress - A Cruise in the Dark - Crawling on the Floor - A General Smash-up - Forty-seven Miles' Travel

    CHAPTER XIV

    A Famous Turn-out - Raftsmen on the Neckar - The Log Rafts - The Neckar - A Sudden Idea - To Heidelberg on a Raft - Chartering a Raft - Gloomy Feelings and Conversation - Delicious Journeying - View of the Banks - Compared with Railroading

    CHAPTER XV

    Down the River - German Women's Duties - Bathing as We Went - A Handsome Picture: Girls in the Willows - We Sight a Tug - Steamers on the Neckar - Dinner on Board - Legend Cave of the Spectre - Lady Gertrude the Heiress - The Crusader - The Lady in the Cave - A Tragedy

    CHAPTER XVI

    An Ancient Legend of the Rhine - The Lorelei - Count Hermann - Falling in Love - A Sight of the Enchantress - Sad Effect on Count Hermann - An Evening visit - A Sad Mistake - Count Hermann Drowned - The Song and Music - Different Translations - Curiosities in Titles

    CHAPTER XVII

    Another Legend - The Unconquered Monster - The Unknown Knight - His Queer Shaped Knapsack - The Knight Pitied and Advised - He Attacks the Monster - Victory for the Fire Extinguisher - The Knight rewarded - His Strange Request - Spectacles Made Popular - Danger to the Raft - Blasting Rocks - An Inglorious Death in View - Escaped - A Storm Overtakes us – Great Danger - Man Overboard - Breakers Ahead - Springing a Leak - Ashore Safe - A General Embracing - A Tramp in the Dark - The Naturalist Tavern - A Night's Troubles - It is the Cat

    CHAPTER XVIII

    Breakfast in a Garden - The Old Raven - Castle of Hirschhorn - Attempt to Hire a Boat - High Dutch - What You Can Find out by Enquiring - What I Found Out About the Students - A Good German Custom - Harris Practices It – An Embarrassing Position - A Nice Party - At a Ball - Stopped at the Door - Assistance at Hand and Rendered - Worthy to be an Empress

    CHAPTER XIX

    Arrive at Neckarsteinach - Castle of Dilsberg - A Walled Town - On a Hill - Exclusiveness of the People - A Queer Old Place - An Ancient Well - An Outlet Proved - Legend of Dilsberg Castle - The Haunted Chamber - The Betrothed's request - The Knight's Slumbers and Awakening - Horror of the Lover - The Wicked Jest - The Lover a Maniac - Under the Linden - Turning Pilot - Accident to the Raft - Fearful Disaster

    CHAPTER XX

    Good News - Slow Freight - Keramics - My Collection of Bric-a-brac - My Tear Jug - Henri II. Plate - Specimen of Blue China - Indifference to the Laugh of the World - I Discover an Antique En-route to Baden-Baden - Meeting an Old Acquaintance - A Young American - Embryo Horse Doctor - An American, Sure - A Minister Captured

    CHAPTER XXI

    Baden-Baden - Energetic Girls - A Comprehensive Yawn - A Beggar's Trick - Cool Impudence - The Bath Woman - Insolence of Shop Keepers - Taking a Bath - Early and Late Hours - Popular Belief Regarding Indians - An Old Cemetery - A Pious Hag - Curious Table Companions

    CHAPTER XXII

    The Black Forest - A Grandee and his Family - The Wealthy Nabob - A New Standard of Wealth - Skeleton for a New Novel - Trying Situation - The Common Council - Choosing a New Member Studying Natural History - The Ant a Fraud - Eccentricities of the Ant - His Deceit and Ignorance - A German Dish - Boiled Oranges

    CHAPTER XXIII

    Off for a Day's Tramp - Tramping and Talking - Story Telling - Dentistry in Camp - Nicodemus Dodge - Seeking a Situation - A Butt for Jokes - Jimmy Finn's Skeleton - Descending a Farm - Unexpected Notoriety

    CHAPTER XXIV

    Sunday on the Continent - A Day of Rest - An Incident at Church - An Object of Sympathy - Royalty at Church - Public Grounds Concert - Power and Grades of Music - Hiring a Courier

    CHAPTER XXV

    Lucerne - Beauty of its Lake - The Wild Chamois - A Great Error Exposed - Methods of Hunting the Chamois - Beauties of Lucerne - The Alpenstock - Marking Alpenstocks - Guessing at Nationalities - An American Party - An Unexpected Acquaintance - Getting Mixed Up - Following Blind Trails - A Happy Half-hour - Defeat and Revenge

    CHAPTER XXVI

    Commerce of Lucerne - Benefits of Martyrdom - A Bit of History - The Home of Cuckoo Clocks - A Satisfactory Revenge - The Alan Who Put Up at Gadsby's - A Forgotten Story - Wanted to be Postmaster - A Tennessean at Washington - He Concluded to Stay A While - Application of the Story

    CHAPTER XXVII

    The Glacier Garden - Excursion on the Lake - Life on the Mountains - A Specimen Tourist - Where're You From? - An Advertising Dodge - A Righteous Verdict - The Guide-book Student - I Believe that's All

    CHAPTER XXVIII

    The Rigi-Kulm - Its Ascent - Stripping for Business - A Mountain Lad - An English Tourist - Railroad up the Mountain - Villages and Mountain - The Jodlers - About Ice Water - The Felsenthor - Too Late - Lost in the Fog - The Rigi-Kulm Hotel - The Alpine Horn - Sunrise at Night

    CHAPTER XXIX

    Everything Convenient - Looking for a Western Sunrise - Mutual Recrimination - View from the Summit - Down the Mountain - Railroading - Confidence Wanted and Acquired

    CHAPTER XXX

    A Trip by Proxy - A Visit to the Furka Regions - Deadman's Lake - Source of the Rhone - Glacier Tables - Storm in the Mountains - At Grindelwald - Dawn on the Mountains - An Explanation Required - Dead Language - Criticism of Harris's Report

    CHAPTER XXXI

    Preparations for a Tramp - From Lucerne to Interlaken - The Brunig Pass - Modern and Ancient Chalets - Death of Pontius Pilate - Hermit Home of St Nicholas - Landslides - Children Selling Refreshments - How they Harness a Horse - A Great Man - Honors to a Hero - A Thirsty Bride - For Better or Worse - German Fashions - Anticipations - Solid Comfort - An Unsatisfactory Awakening - What we had Lost - Our Surroundings

    CHAPTER XXXII

    The Jungfrau Hotel - A Whiskered Waitress - An Arkansas Bride - Perfection in Discord - A Famous Victory - A Look from a Window - About the Jungfrau

    CHAPTER XXXIII

    The Giesbach Falls - The Spirit of the Alps - Why People Visit Them - Whey and Grapes as Medicines - The Kursaal - A Formidable Undertaking - From Interlaken to Zermatt on Foot - We Concluded to take a Buggy - A Pair of Jolly Drivers - We meet with Companions - A Cheerful Ride - Kandersteg Valley - An Alpine Parlor - Exercise and Amusement - A Race with a Log

    CHAPTER XXXIV

    An Old Guide - Possible Accidents - Dangerous Habitation - Mountain Flowers - Embryo Lions - Mountain Pigs - The End of The World - Ghastly Desolation - Proposed Adventure - Reading-up Adventures - Ascent of Monte Rosa - Precipices and Crevasses - Among the Snows - Exciting Experiences - lee Ridges - The Summit - Adventures Postponed

    CHAPTER XXXV

    A New Interest - Magnificent Views - A Mule's Prefereoces - Turning Mountain Corners - Terror of a Horse - Lady Tourists - Death of a Young Countess - A Search for a Hat - What We Did Find - Harris's Opinion of Chamois - A Disappointed Man - A Giantess - Model for an Empress - Baths at Leuk - Sport in the Water - The Gemmi Precipices - A Palace for an Emperor - The Famous Ladders - Considerably Mixed Up - Sad Plight of a Minister

    CHAPTER XXXVI

    Sunday Church Bells - A Cause of Profanity - A Magnificent Glacier - Fault Finding by Harris - Almost an Accident - Selfishness of Harris - Approaching Zermatt - The Matterhorn - Zermatt - Home of Mountain Climbers - Fitted out for Climbing - A Fearful Adventure - Never Satisfied

    CHAPTER XXXVII

    A Calm Decision - I Will Ascend the Riffelberg - Preparations for the Trip - All Zermatt on the Alert - Schedule of Persons and Things - An Unprecedented Display - A General Turn-out - Ready for a Start - The Post of Danger - The Advance Directed - Grand Display of Umbrellas - The First Camp - Almost a Panic - Supposed to be Lost - The First Accident - A Chaplain Disabled - An Experimenting Mule - Good Effects of a Blunder - Badly Lost - A Reconnoiter - Mystery and Doubt - Stern Measures Taken - A Black Ram - Saved by a Miracle - The Guide's Guide

    CHAPTER XXXVIII

    Our Expedition Continued - Experiments with the Barometer - Boiling Thermometer - Barometer Soup - An Interesting Scientific Discovery - Crippling a Latinist - A Chaplain Injured - Short of Barkeepers - Digging a Mountain Cellar - A Young American Specimen - Somebody's Grandson - Arrival at Riffelberg Hotel - Ascent of Gorner Grat - Faith in Thermometers - The Matterhorn

    CHAPTER XXXIX

    Guide Books - Plans for the Return of the Expedition - A Glacier Train - Parachute Descent from Gorner Grat - Proposed Honors to Harris Declined - All had an Excuse - A Magnificent Idea Abandoned - Descent to the Glacier - A Supposed Leak - A Slow Train - The Glacier Abandoned - Journey to Zermatt - A Scientific Question

    CHAPTER XL

    Glaciers - Glacier Perils - Moraines - Terminal Moraines - Lateral Moraines - Immense Size of Glacier - Traveling Glacier - General Movements of Glaciers - Ascent of Mont Blanc - Loss of Guides - Finding of Remains - Meeting of Old Friends - The Dead and Living - Proposed Museum - The Relics at Chamonix

    CHAPTER XLI

    The Matterhorn Catastrophe of 1563 - Mr Whymper's Narrative - Ascent of the Matterhorn - The Summit - The Matterhorn Conquered - The Descent Commenced - A Fearful Disaster - Death of Lord Douglas and Two Others - The Graves of the Two

    CHAPTER XLII

    Switzerland - Graveyard at Zermatt - Balloting for Marriage - Farmers as Heroes - Falling off a Farm - From St Nicholas to Visp - Dangerous Traveling - Children's Play - The Parson's Children - A Landlord's Daughter - A Rare Combination - ChiIIon - Lost Sympathy - Mont Blanc and its Neighbors - Beauty of Soap Bubbles - A Wild Drive - The King of Drivers - Benefit of getting Drunk

    CHAPTER XLIII

    Chamonix - Contrasts - Magnificent Spectacle - The Guild of Guides - The Guide-in-Chief - The Returned Tourist - Getting Diploma - Rigid Rules - Unsuccessful Efforts to Procure a Diploma - The Record-Book - The Conqueror of Mont Blanc - Professional Jealousy - Triumph of Truth - Mountain Music - Its Effect - A Hunt for a Nuisance

    CHAPTER XLIV

    Looking at Mont Blanc - Telescopic Effect - A Proposed Trip - Determination and Courage - The Cost all counted - Ascent of Mont Blanc by Telescope - Safe and Rapid Return - Diplomas Asked for and Refused - Disaster of 1866 - The Brave Brothers - Wonderful Endurance and Pluck - Love Making on Mont Blanc - First Ascent of a Woman - Sensible Attire

    CHAPTER XLV

    A Catastrophe which Cost Eleven Lives - Accident of 1870 - A Party of Eleven - A Fearful Storm - Note-books of the Victims - Within Five Minutes of Safety - Facing Death Resignedly

    CHAPTER XLVI

    The Hotel des Pyramids - The Glacier des Bossons - One of the Shows - Premeditated Crime - Saved Again - Tourists Warned - Advice to Tourists - The Two Empresses - The Glacier Toll Collector - Pure Ice Water - Death Rate of the World - Of Various Cities - A Pleasure Excursionist - A Diligence Ride - A Satisfied Englishman

    CHAPTER XLVII

    Geneva - Shops of Geneva - Elasticity of Prices - Persistency of Shop-Women - The High Pressure System - How a Dandy was brought to Grief - American Manners - Gallantry - Col Baker of London - Arkansaw Justice - Safety of Women in America - Town of Chambery - A Lively Place - At Turin - A Railroad Companion - An Insulted Woman - City of Turin - Italian Honesty - A Small Mistake - Robbing a Beggar Woman

    CHAPTER XLVIII

    In Milan - The Arcade - Incidents we Met With - The Pedlar - Children - The Honest Conductor - Heavy Stocks of Clothing - The Quarrelsome Italians - Great Smoke and Little Fire - The Cathedral - Style in Church - The Old Masters - Tintoretto's Great Picture - Emotional Tourists - Basson's Famed Picture - The Hair Trunk

    CHAPTER XLIX

    In Venice - St Mark's Cathedral - Discovery of an Antique - The Riches of St Mark's - A Church Robber - Trusting Secrets to a Friend - The Robber Hanged - A Private Dinner - European Food

    CHAPTER L

    Why Some things Are - Art in Rome and Florence - The Fig Leaf Mania - Titian's Venus - Difference between Seeing and Describing A Real work of Art - Titian's Moses - Home

    APPENDIX A - The Portier analyzed

    APPENDIX B - Hiedelberg Castle Described

    APPENDIX C - The College Prison and Inmates

    APPENDIX D - The Awful German Language

    APPENDIX E - Legends of the Castle

    APPENDIX F - The Journals of Germany

    Mark Twain – A Short Biography

    Mark Twain – A Concise Bibliography

    CHAPTER I

    [The Knighted Knave of Bergen]

    One day it occurred to me that it had been many years since the world had been afforded the spectacle of a man adventurous enough to undertake a journey through Europe on foot. After much thought, I decided that I was a person fitted to furnish to mankind this spectacle. So I determined to do it. This was in March, 1878.

    I looked about me for the right sort of person to accompany me in the capacity of agent, and finally hired a Mr. Harris for this service.

    It was also my purpose to study art while in Europe. Mr. Harris was in sympathy with me in this. He was as much of an enthusiast in art as I was, and not less anxious to learn to paint. I desired to learn the German language; so did Harris.

    Toward the middle of April we sailed in the Holsatia, Captain Brandt, and had a very pleasant trip, indeed.

    After a brief rest at Hamburg, we made preparations for a long pedestrian trip southward in the soft spring weather, but at the last moment we changed the program, for private reasons, and took the express-train.

    We made a short halt at Frankfort-on-the-Main, and found it an interesting city. I would have liked to visit the birthplace of Gutenburg, but it could not be done, as no memorandum of the site of the house has been kept. So we spent an hour in the Goethe mansion instead. The city permits this house to belong to private parties, instead of gracing and dignifying herself with the honor of possessing and protecting it.

    Frankfort is one of the sixteen cities which have the distinction of being the place where the following incident occurred. Charlemagne, while chasing the Saxons (as he said), or being chased by them (as they said), arrived at the bank of the river at dawn, in a fog. The enemy were either before him or behind him; but in any case he wanted to get across, very badly. He would have given anything for a guide, but none was to be had. Presently he saw a deer, followed by her young, approach the water. He watched her, judging that she would seek a ford, and he was right. She waded over, and the army followed. So a great Frankish victory or defeat was gained or avoided; and in order to commemorate the episode, Charlemagne commanded a city to be built there, which he named Frankfort, the ford of the Franks. None of the other cities where this event happened were named for it. This is good evidence that Frankfort was the first place it occurred at.

    Frankfort has another distinction, it is the birthplace of the German alphabet; or at least of the German word for alphabet, buchstaben. They say that the first movable types were made on birch sticks, buchstabe, hence the name.

    I was taught a lesson in political economy in Frankfort. I had brought from home a box containing a thousand very cheap cigars. By way of experiment, I stepped into a little shop in a queer old back street, took four gaily decorated boxes of wax matches and three cigars, and laid down a silver piece worth 48 cents. The man gave me 43 cents change.

    In Frankfort everybody wears clean clothes, and I think we noticed that this strange thing was the case in Hamburg, too, and in the villages along the road. Even in the narrowest and poorest and most ancient quarters of Frankfort neat and clean clothes were the rule. The little children of both sexes were nearly always nice enough to take into a body's lap. And as for the uniforms of the soldiers, they were newness and brightness carried to perfection. One could never detect a smirch or a grain of dust upon them. The street-car conductors and drivers wore pretty uniforms which seemed to be just out of the bandbox, and their manners were as fine as their clothes.

    In one of the shops I had the luck to stumble upon a book which has charmed me nearly to death. It is entitled The Legends Of The Rhine From Basle To Rotterdam, by F. J. Kiefer; translated by L. W. Garnham, B.A.

    All tourists mention the Rhine legends, in that sort of way which quietly pretends that the mentioner has been familiar with them all his life, and that the reader cannot possibly be ignorant of them, but no tourist ever tells them. So this little book fed me in a very hungry place; and I, in my turn, intend to feed my reader, with one or two little lunches from the same larder. I shall not mar Garnham's translation by meddling with its English; for the most toothsome thing about it is its quaint fashion of building English sentences on the German plan, and punctuating them accordingly to no plan at all.

    In the chapter devoted to Legends of Frankfort, I find the following:

    THE KNAVE OF BERGEN

    "In Frankfort at the Romer was a great mask-ball, at the coronation festival, and in the illuminated saloon, the clanging music invited to dance, and splendidly appeared the rich toilets and charms of the ladies, and the festively costumed Princes and Knights. All seemed pleasure, joy, and roguish gaiety, only one of the numerous guests had a gloomy exterior; but exactly the black armor in which he walked about excited general attention, and his tall figure, as well as the noble propriety of his movements, attracted especially the regards of the ladies.

    Who the Knight was? Nobody could guess, for his Vizier was well closed, and nothing made him recognizable. Proud and yet modest he advanced to the Empress; bowed on one knee before her seat, and begged for the favor of a waltz with the Queen of the festival. And she allowed his request. With light and graceful steps he danced through the long saloon, with the sovereign who thought never to have found a more dexterous and excellent dancer. But also by the grace of his manner, and fine conversation he knew to win the Queen, and she graciously accorded him a second dance for which he begged, a third, and a fourth, as well as others were not refused him. How all regarded the happy dancer, how many envied him the high favor; how increased curiosity, who the masked knight could be.

    "Also the Emperor became more and more excited with curiosity, and with great suspense one awaited the hour, when according to mask-law, each masked guest must make himself known. This moment came, but although all other unmasked; the secret knight still refused to allow his features to be seen, till at last the Queen driven by curiosity, and vexed at the obstinate refusal; commanded him to open his Vizier.

    He opened it, and none of the high ladies and knights knew him. But from the crowded spectators, 2 officials advanced, who recognized the black dancer, and horror and terror spread in the saloon, as they said who the supposed knight was. It was the executioner of Bergen. But glowing with rage, the King commanded to seize the criminal and lead him to death, who had ventured to dance, with the queen; so disgraced the Empress, and insulted the crown. The culpable threw himself at the Emperor, and said -

    "'Indeed I have heavily sinned against all noble guests assembled here, but most heavily against you my sovereign and my queen. The Queen is insulted by my haughtiness equal to treason, but no punishment even blood, will not be able to wash out the disgrace, which you have suffered by me. Therefore oh King! allow me to propose a remedy, to efface the shame, and to render it as if not done. Draw your sword and knight me, then I will throw down my gauntlet, to everyone who dares to speak disrespectfully of my king.'

    The Emperor was surprised at this bold proposal, however it appeared the wisest to him; 'You are a knave,' he replied after a moment's consideration, 'however your advice is good, and displays prudence, as your offense shows adventurous courage. Well then,' and gave him the knight-stroke 'so I raise you to nobility, who begged for grace for your offense now kneels before me, rise as knight; knavish you have acted, and Knave of Bergen shall you be called henceforth,' and gladly the Black knight rose; three cheers were given in honor of the Emperor, and loud cries of joy testified the approbation with which the Queen danced still once with the Knave of Bergen.

    CHAPTER II

    Heidelberg

    [Landing a Monarch at Heidelberg]

    We stopped at a hotel by the railway-station. Next morning, as we sat in my room waiting for breakfast to come up, we got a good deal interested in something which was going on over the way, in front of another hotel. First, the personage who is called the Portier (who is not the Porter, but is a sort of first-mate of a hotel) [1. See Appendix A] appeared at the door in a spick-and-span new blue cloth uniform, decorated with shining brass buttons, and with bands of gold lace around his cap and wristbands; and he wore white gloves, too.

    He shed an official glance upon the situation, and then began to give orders. Two women-servants came out with pails and brooms and brushes, and gave the sidewalk a thorough scrubbing; meanwhile two others scrubbed the four marble steps which led up to the door; beyond these we could see some men-servants taking up the carpet of the grand staircase. This carpet was carried away and the last grain of dust beaten and banged and swept out of it; then brought back and put down again. The brass stair-rods received an exhaustive polishing and were returned to their places. Now a troop of servants brought pots and tubs of blooming plants and formed them into a beautiful jungle about the door and the base of the staircase. Other servants adorned all the balconies of the various stories with flowers and banners; others ascended to the roof and hoisted a great flag on a staff there. Now came some more chamber-maids and retouched the sidewalk, and afterward wiped the marble steps with damp cloths and finished by dusting them off with feather brushes. Now a broad black carpet was brought out and laid down the marble steps and out across the sidewalk to the curbstone. The Portier cast his eye along it, and found it was not absolutely straight; he commanded it to be straightened; the servants made the effort, made several efforts, in fact, but the Portier was not satisfied. He finally had it taken up, and then he put it down himself and got it right.

    At this stage of the proceedings, a narrow bright red carpet was unrolled and stretched from the top of the marble steps to the curbstone, along the center of the black carpet. This red path cost the Portier more trouble than even the black one had done. But he patiently fixed and refixed it until it was exactly right and lay precisely in the middle of the black carpet. In New York these performances would have gathered a mighty crowd of curious and intensely interested spectators; but here it only captured an audience of half a dozen little boys who stood in a row across the pavement, some with their school-knapsacks on their backs and their hands in their pockets, others with arms full of bundles, and all absorbed in the show. Occasionally one of them skipped irreverently over the carpet and took up a position on the other side. This always visibly annoyed the Portier.

    Now came a waiting interval. The landlord, in plain clothes, and bareheaded, placed himself on the bottom marble step, abreast the Portier, who stood on the other end of the same steps; six or eight waiters, gloved, bareheaded, and wearing their whitest linen, their whitest cravats, and their finest swallow-tails, grouped themselves about these chiefs, but leaving the carpetway clear. Nobody moved or spoke any more but only waited.

    In a short time the shrill piping of a coming train was heard, and immediately groups of people began to gather in the street. Two or three open carriages arrived, and deposited some maids of honor and some male officials at the hotel. Presently another open carriage brought the Grand Duke of Baden, a stately man in uniform, who wore the handsome brass-mounted, steel-spiked helmet of the army on his head. Last came the Empress of Germany and the Grand Duchess of Baden in a closed carriage; these passed through the low-bowing groups of servants and disappeared in the hotel, exhibiting to us only the backs of their heads, and then the show was over.

    It appears to be as difficult to land a monarch as it is to launch a ship.

    But as to Heidelberg. The weather was growing pretty warm, very warm, in fact. So we left the valley and took quarters at the Schloss Hotel, on the hill, above the Castle.

    Heidelberg lies at the mouth of a narrow gorge, a gorge the shape of a shepherd's crook; if one looks up it he perceives that it is about straight, for a mile and a half, then makes a sharp curve to the right and disappears. This gorge, along whose bottom pours the swift Neckar, is confined between (or cloven through) a couple of long, steep ridges, a thousand feet high and densely wooded clear to their summits, with the exception of one section which has been shaved and put under cultivation. These ridges are chopped off at the mouth of the gorge and form two bold and conspicuous headlands, with Heidelberg nestling between them; from their bases spreads away the vast dim expanse of the Rhine valley, and into this expanse the Neckar goes wandering in shining curves and is presently lost to view.

    Now if one turns and looks up the gorge once more, he will see the Schloss Hotel on the right perched on a precipice overlooking the Neckar, a precipice which is so sumptuously cushioned and draped with foliage that no glimpse of the rock appears. The building seems very airily situated. It has the appearance of being on a shelf half-way up the wooded mountainside; and as it is remote and isolated, and very white, it makes a strong mark against the lofty leafy rampart at its back.

    This hotel had a feature which was a decided novelty, and one which might be adopted with advantage by any house which is perched in a commanding situation. This feature may be described as a series of glass-enclosed parlors clinging to the outside of the house, one against each and every bed-chamber and drawing-room. They are like long, narrow, high-ceiled bird-cages hung against the building. My room was a corner room, and had two of these things, a north one and a west one.

    From the north cage one looks up the Neckar gorge; from the west one he looks down it. This last affords the most extensive view, and it is one of the loveliest that can be imagined, too. Out of a billowy upheaval of vivid green foliage, a rifle-shot removed, rises the huge ruin of Heidelberg Castle, [2. See Appendix B] with empty window arches, ivy-mailed battlements, moldering towers, the Lear of inanimate nature, deserted, discrowned, beaten by the storms, but royal still, and beautiful. It is a fine sight to see the evening sunlight suddenly strike the leafy declivity at the Castle's base and dash up it and drench it as with a luminous spray, while the adjacent groves are in deep shadow.

    Behind the Castle swells a great dome-shaped hill, forest-clad, and beyond that a nobler and loftier one. The Castle looks down upon the compact brown-roofed town; and from the town two picturesque old bridges span the river. Now the view broadens; through the gateway of the sentinel headlands you gaze out over the wide Rhine plain, which stretches away, softly and richly tinted, grows gradually and dreamily indistinct, and finally melts imperceptibly into the remote horizon.

    I have never enjoyed a view which had such a serene and satisfying charm about it as this one gives.

    The first night we were there, we went to bed and to sleep early; but I awoke at the end of two or three hours, and lay a comfortable while listening to the soothing patter of the rain against the balcony windows. I took it to be rain, but it turned out to be only the murmur of the restless Neckar, tumbling over her dikes and dams far below, in the gorge. I got up and went into the west balcony and saw a wonderful sight. Away down on the level under the black mass of the Castle, the town lay, stretched along the river, its intricate cobweb of streets jeweled with twinkling lights; there were rows of lights on the bridges; these flung lances of light upon the water, in the black shadows of the arches; and away at the extremity of all this fairy spectacle blinked and glowed a massed multitude of gas-jets which seemed to cover acres of ground; it was as if all the diamonds in the world had been spread out there. I did not know before, that a half-mile of sextuple railway-tracks could be made such an adornment.

    One thinks Heidelberg by day, with its surroundings, is the last possibility of the beautiful; but when he sees Heidelberg by night, a fallen Milky Way, with that glittering railway constellation pinned to the border, he requires time to consider upon the verdict.

    One never tires of poking about in the dense woods that clothe all these lofty Neckar hills to their tops. The great deeps of a boundless forest have a beguiling and impressive charm in any country; but German legends and fairy tales have given these an added charm. They have peopled all that region with gnomes, and dwarfs, and all sorts of mysterious and uncanny creatures. At the time I am writing of, I had been reading so much of this literature that sometimes I was not sure but I was beginning to believe in the gnomes and fairies as realities.

    One afternoon I got lost in the woods about a mile from the hotel, and presently fell into a train of dreamy thought about animals which talk, and kobolds, and enchanted folk, and the rest of the pleasant legendary stuff; and so, by stimulating my fancy, I finally got to imagining I glimpsed small flitting shapes here and there down the columned aisles of the forest. It was a place which was peculiarly meet for the occasion. It was a pine wood, with so thick and soft a carpet of brown needles that one's footfall made no more sound than if he were treading on wool; the tree-trunks were as round and straight and smooth as pillars, and stood close together; they were bare of branches to a point about twenty-five feet above-ground, and from there upward so thick with boughs that not a ray of sunlight could pierce through. The world was bright with sunshine outside, but a deep and mellow twilight reigned in there, and also a deep silence so profound that I seemed to hear my own breathings.

    When I had stood ten minutes, thinking and imagining, and getting my spirit in tune with the place, and in the right mood to enjoy the supernatural, a raven suddenly uttered a horse croak over my head. It made me start; and then I was angry because I started. I looked up, and the creature was sitting on a limb right over me, looking down at me. I felt something of the same sense of humiliation and injury which one feels when he finds that a human stranger has been clandestinely inspecting him in his privacy and mentally commenting upon him. I eyed the raven, and the raven eyed me. Nothing was said during some seconds. Then the bird stepped a little way along his limb to get a better point of observation, lifted his wings, stuck his head far down below his shoulders toward me and croaked again, a croak with a distinctly insulting expression about it. If he had spoken in English he could not have said any more plainly than he did say in raven, Well, what do you want here? I felt as foolish as if I had been caught in some mean act by a responsible being, and reproved for it. However, I made no reply; I would not bandy words with a raven. The adversary waited a while, with his shoulders still lifted, his head thrust down between them, and his keen bright eye fixed on me; then he threw out two or three more insults, which I could not understand, further than that I knew a portion of them consisted of language not used in church.

    I still made no reply. Now the adversary raised his head and called. There was an answering croak from a little distance in the wood, evidently a croak of inquiry. The adversary explained with enthusiasm, and the other raven dropped everything and came. The two sat side by side on the limb and discussed me as freely and offensively as two great naturalists might discuss a new kind of bug. The thing became more and more embarrassing. They called in another friend. This was too much. I saw that they had the advantage of me, and so I concluded to get out of the scrape by walking out of it. They enjoyed my defeat as much as any low white people could have done. They craned their necks and laughed at me (for a raven can laugh, just like a man), they squalled insulting remarks after me as long as they could see me. They were nothing but ravens, I knew that, what they thought of me could be a matter of no consequence, and yet when even a raven shouts after you, What a hat! Oh, pull down your vest! and that sort of thing, it hurts you and humiliates you, and there is no getting around it with fine reasoning and pretty arguments.

    Animals talk to each other, of course. There can be no question about that; but I suppose there are very few people who can understand them. I never knew but one man who could. I knew he could, however, because he told me so himself. He was a middle-aged, simple-hearted miner who had lived in a lonely corner of California, among the woods and mountains, a good many years, and had studied the ways of his only neighbors, the beasts and the birds, until he believed he could accurately translate any remark which they made. This was Jim Baker. According to Jim Baker, some animals have only a limited education, and some use only simple words, and scarcely ever a comparison or a flowery figure; whereas, certain other animals have a large vocabulary, a fine command of language and a ready and fluent delivery; consequently these latter talk a great deal; they like it; they are so conscious of their talent, and they enjoy showing off. Baker said, that after long and careful observation, he had come to the conclusion that the bluejays were the best talkers he had found among birds and beasts. Said he:

    "There's more to a bluejay than any other creature. He has got more moods, and more different kinds of feelings than other creatures; and, mind you, whatever a bluejay feels, he can put into language. And no mere commonplace language, either, but rattling, out-and-out book-talk, and bristling with metaphor, too, just bristling! And as for command of language, why you never see a bluejay get stuck for a word. No man ever did. They just boil out of him! And another thing: I've noticed a good deal, and there's no bird, or cow, or anything that uses as good grammar as a bluejay. You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does, but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use. Now I've never heard a jay use bad grammar but very seldom; and when they do, they are as ashamed as a human; they shut right down and leave.

    You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure, but he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhaps; but otherwise he is just as much human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts, and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise. The sacredness of an obligation is such a thing which you can't cram into no bluejay's head. Now, on top of all this, there's another thing; a jay can out-swear any gentleman in the mines. You think a cat can swear. Well, a cat can; but you give a bluejay a subject that calls for his reserve-powers, and where is your cat? Don't talk to me, I know too much about this thing; in the one little particular of scolding, just good, clean, out-and-out scolding, a bluejay can lay over anything, human or divine. Yes, sir, a jay is everything that a man is. A jay can cry, a jay can laugh, a jay can feel shame, a jay can reason and plan and discuss, a jay likes gossip and scandal, a jay has got a sense of humor, a jay knows when he is an ass just as well as you do, maybe better. If a jay ain't human, he better take in his sign, that's all. Now I'm going to tell you a perfectly true fact about some bluejays.

    CHAPTER III

    Baker's Bluejay Yarn

    [What Stumped the Blue Jays]

    "When I first begun to understand jay language correctly, there was a little incident happened here. Seven years ago, the last man in this region but me moved away. There stands his house, been empty ever since; a log house, with a plank roof, just one big room, and no more; no ceiling, nothing between the rafters and the floor. Well, one Sunday morning I was sitting out here in front of my cabin, with my cat, taking the sun, and looking at the blue hills, and listening to the leaves rustling so lonely in the trees, and thinking of the home away yonder in the states, that I hadn't heard from in thirteen years, when a bluejay lit on that house, with an acorn in his mouth, and says, 'Hello, I reckon I've struck something.' When he spoke, the acorn dropped out of his mouth and rolled down the roof, of course, but he didn't care; his mind was all on the thing he had struck. It was a knot-hole in the roof. He cocked his head to one side, shut one eye and put the other one to the hole, like a possum looking down a jug; then he glanced up with his bright eyes, gave a wink or two with his wings, which signifies gratification, you understand, and says, 'It looks like a hole, it's located like a hole, blamed if I don't believe it is a hole!'

    "Then he cocked his head down and took another look; he glances up perfectly joyful, this time; winks

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