The Complete Zagzagel Diaries

By Bryl R. Tyne

In 2010, author Bryl R. Tyne introduced the character of Zagzagel, the angel with a tormented heart, and the fantasy and LGBTQ literary worlds were forever changed. Readers fell in love with Zag (as he was affectionately known) and his determination to do his job and please Big Papa while wrestling with his own conflicted feelings and desire to be loved.

For the first time ever, all six stories that were released individually are compiled into one complete collection: The Complete Zagzagel Diaries.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Untreed Reads
• Release date: Nov 4, 2014
• ISBN: 9781611877823

Book preview

Loved

The Complete Zagzagel Diaries

By Bryl R. Tyne

Copyright 2014 by Bryl R. Tyne

Cover Copyright 2014 by Untreed Reads Publishing

Cover Design by Dara England

The author is hereby established as the sole holder of the copyright. Either the publisher (Untreed Reads) or author may enforce copyrights to the fullest extent.

Previously published in ebook format:

Forsaken, 2010

Denial, 2010

Desperate, 2010

Lost, 2010

Broken, 2010

Loved, 2011

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher or author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages embodied in critical articles or in a review. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a work of fiction. The characters, dialogue and events in this book are wholly fictional, and any resemblance to companies and actual persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Also by Bryl R. Tyne and Untreed Reads Publishing

The Secret Ingredient

www.untreedreads.com

The Complete Zagzagel Diaries

Bryl R. Tyne

Forsaken

Just do it…

How apropos.

Above the nineteenth floor, on the verge of his nineteenth birth date, he stepped up onto the ledge, steadied his balance. Perspiration and tears trickled evenly along his chiseled face. Eyes, once stunning blue, dulled with each spent teardrop.

Perched less than a shoulder’s width away, I listened. His most private thoughts were not immune to me or my prying. Lord—meant with the utmost respect, of course—the man was a work of art. Absolutely beyond compare.

As was his pain, or so he thought.

I had endured far worse, though not mortal, than anything he was capable of imagining. Agony and confusion engulfed him, inflamed his need for relief. Forsaken—he privately professed.

Obviously, I’d failed at instilling my fine wrangling spirit.

Feathers ruffled. My shoulders tightened. Apparently, my guidance wasn’t worth a flip these days. With a stretch and a snap, loose underlining flew in the air about me, fluttering, drifting on the breeze. Despite knowing the young man’s agony, his naivety sickened me.

Try living the pain of ten thousand lifetimes, I desperately wished to tell him.

What I wouldn’t give for an hour in his shoes, fifteen minutes inside that skin-tight material covering such perfectly honed thighs. He was so beautiful, so mortal, so intelligent—

Just. One. Step. As his garbling knocked me from my reverie, his right foot slipped.

All right. I concede—he was a fucking moron.

Wings refolded neatly, I appeared beside his unsure legs and, with a stretch, settled, ass on the cool stone, feet dangling free over the edge. It’s a doozy.

His body trembled. With fear or anticipation, I wasn’t sure which. For such a young pup, he had balls of steel. I’d give him that. He didn’t as much as flinch at the sound of my voice nor turn to eye me as he asked, What’s it to you?

What was it to me? More like, what was he to me, though I’d never confess. That revelation, I must do everything in my power to ensure never left my lips.

From before he’d taken his first breath, I was there—as watcher, as guardian—ensuring no harm befell even one lock of his hair. Wasn’t my idea to pamper him though—to spoil the kid to—to this point of misadventure. If I’d had my way, I would’ve let him learn from a few tangles, maybe get bullied a time or two—you know, toughen him up a bit.

Fingers curled over the edge, I leaned to assess his chosen path. The expanse of reinforced concrete marked his landing—an empty courtyard in the dead of night, no witnesses, no one to care. Of course not, according to him, no one ever cared. If only he knew….

Desperate for relief or not, he had wits enough to plan his perfect demise. If the two-hundred-fifty-foot-plus fall failed, the sudden stop would surely do the trick.

Maybe I shouldn’t have regarded the thought of Bret having never as much as having stubbed his toe as entertaining, but I did. Humans are a funny lot. Besides, I had simply followed orders; and I’d remind Big Papa of that too—should things go amiss tonight.

Poor kid. The determined set of his jaw showed in brief glimpses through his wind- whipped hair. Sometimes, even I questioned Papa and his motives. He thought he knew everything.

What do you want? With his outburst, Bret’s arms flailed and he struggled to maintain his balance.

Did I notice a hint of trepidation?

I want you to rethink your decision, I told him. Seemed like a simple request to me.

Just go away! He drug the back of his hand across his face as he caught his breath—a weak attempt to hide the moisture. For a second, I thought he may look my way, but he turned back to the night. Silent, once again.

In all honesty, I was forbidden to fully answer his questions. But to just go away? Well, I hated to inform him, but…no can do.

I’d cleared my plans for the evening. And I’d feed Big Papa the usual appeasing line—nothing as entertaining as having a front-row seat to a quitter going through personal hell.

Yet, those were not my intentions. Not tonight.

Bret wasn’t a quitter; confused—full of assumptions and of himself—and utterly void of hope, but never a quitter. Not until now.

His rose-colored glasses, once rosier than any mortal’s to date, were now cracked, discarded, forgotten in the debilitating accusations thrust on him by his once beloved parents. Parents, whom Bret had chosen to forgo his senior year in high school to help support. Parents who once adored their beautiful child, now proclaimed to abhor him, simply for who he was.

No, I wasn’t going anywhere, not if I could rekindle one flicker of the hope that Bret once clung to like a lifeline. Hope enough for even the most jaded to catch a glimpse.

If only I were allowed to answer his most troubling questions. I’m sure plenty haunted his mind as he stood defiant on that ledge.

Parents. Papa knew it would sure make things a helluva lot easier.

Of course, making anything easy was never Big Papa’s style. His sadistic tendencies often clashed with his benevolence. Many times I wondered exactly which side he played for. Don’t say much, simply encourage—don’t supply definite answers, only hints—above all else, never ever touch… His list of rules went on