Murder, Mystery and Croquet: Wicket People Wield Murderous Mallets - True Stories

By William Roy Grandey

MAKE NO MISTAKE! THIS BOOK IS ABOUT MURDER.

It includes over 80 true stories and mysteries based on croquet. In 1893 the United States courts established the

croquet mallet as a deadly weapon. To lighten the book up, it has been sprinkled with old time radio quotes. you

will hear from Jack Benny, Fibber McGee and the Shadow.

THE UNEXPECTED:

The true story of kids playing with an exploding croquet ball will leave you on the edge of your seat.

Bonnie and Clyde's gang was taken out by a female croquet heroine. Her story was passed over by a male-dominated press and Hollywood films.

Jacqueline Kennedy bashed her croquet opponent in the head with her mallet leaving the player comatose all day long

Cardinal Richelieu in France successfully plotted the peculiar death of a "ball and mallet" croquet opponent in 1618.

You will meet Egg and Bea, two well behaved children, who used their father's head as a croquet ball, ending his life.

You will read about the curious croquet deaths of a horse, dog and cat.

The eccentric man, who burned his home down over croquet rule arguments, will leave you wondering.

Trained sparrows robbing unsuspecting croquet players may seem outlandish, but it was a top crime.

There were three croquet cliques in Washington D. C., London and Berlin. It may seem fanciful now, but they virtually ran World War II.

A croquet ghost lurks in a Scottish castle, where her murder was successfully covered up.

Susan B. Anthony promoted "defending women's rights to own croquet mallets" as a part of her platform.

A bigamist countess played croquet out of two English castles to great success, before her strange games were found out.

The chapter on "how to cheat at croquet" or "detect a croquet cheat" explores the personal experiences of numerous players. Their humorous stories reveal sinister behavior.

Bright spots of croquet are include the two croquet champions of the 20th century, whom you know well,

This book has a PG rating.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Apr 11, 2014
• ISBN: 9781483525600

Book preview

Chapter One

Croquet Stereotypes

Do you have a view of modern croquet?

There are three stereotypical views.

Smack the Ball Stereotype #1 is of a backyard game, the object of which appears to be smashing an opponent’s ball all the way to Puget Sound. While this stereotype does not ring true for modern competitive croquet games, it fits our backyard memories of smacking croquet balls.

Sturdy backyard croquet sets have passed through generations of croquet playing families. Neighborhood children, who want to get into the enjoyment of playing, find out where this equipment is located. Backyard croquet is a low-cost pastime, perfect for a barbeque and is at the root of modern croquet.

The Snob’s game Stereotype #2 is a Great Gatsby portrayal of snooty rich folks in spotless, white outfits, calling one another Chip or Buffy, while sipping champagne. They are seen as living the high life and politely playing croquet at a posh country club – a high toned Sleepy Hollow, say in Palm Springs, California. The condescension toward newcomers, from the usual, entrenched, old guard adds to this stereotype. In Britain the long waiting lists to join elite croquet clubs, taking up to five years to get admitted, certainly creates rarified air. Some player’s consider that croquet’s stereotype of high society players, playing with stiff-necked pride, has hurt the reputation of the game.

There are justifiable reasons that the game of croquet can be viewed as upper crust. Many kings played ancient croquet in England and France with only the crème de la crème of society. One English King even took the last name of Croquet. President Abraham Lincoln played croquet with the smart set on the White House lawns, just as golf has been played since Eisenhower installed his putting green on the South side of the White House. It is an A list privilege to play a croquet game or putt a golf ball at the White House.

Playing croquet can generate a string of expensive fees such as: Country Club initiation and dues, Croquet Club initiation and dues, extensive tournament fees, lessons from a croquet professional, as well as social demand to donate to charities not of your choice. The croquet in-crowd sustains immense travel expenses to out-of-state croquet clubs during the off season to keep up one’s game. This can exceed all other expenses combined.

The Child’s Game Stereotype #3 Since most adults played some croquet as kids, the last stereotype is that croquet is only for children. This misconception includes croquet being considered less than a sport and an adult, who plays it, as acting childish. Croquet was the top outdoor sport, in the United States between 1850 and 1900. Competitive croquet is now propped up by retired people, who have the opportunity to play daily like better playing retired golfers.

When croquet swept America in the last half of the nineteenth century, it was the New York elite that embraced the game and made it stylish. U.S. Astronauts played croquet on re-entry from space and croquet reached the South Pole in 2005, when Americans were the first to play a game outside the observatory in the snow. Croquet remains the only sport where women and men compete against one another on an equal basis.

Croquet evolved from fundamental ball games, which developed over thousands of years, when croquet sized balls were hit with mallet like sticks and ancient croquet rules developed regionally. Through the centuries rules have undergone many modifications, which continue to develop with annual changes and new games keep popping up.

Arguments over croquet rules have gone on for centuries and can be intense over newly developed games, which can be invented anytime two people get together. Many unusual regional ball games have been created and here are a few examples. They may sound exotic, but once you start to play you could be swept away.

Croquet stereotypes were changed when in February 2013 a group of eight friends in Rancho Mirage, California studied the Connecticut eXtreme Croquet Society rules and worked out a one page rule book for their version of eXtreme Croquet. eXtreme rules are different by region and can frustrate level grass tournament players, who have played on the same diminutive fields for decades using what seem like endless rules.

The group’s inaugural outing was an eXtreme Croquet tournament picnic and the rules made it easy for new players to participate in their first game. The hope was to attract as many as ten people. Not only did 62 people show up with eight dogs, but as an additional surprise the local newspapers arrived on the scene. The Desert Sun newspaper article on eXtreme croquet dominated the front page. Their extreme croquet video can be seen by Googling "Desert Sun eXtreme croquet. You can find a separate video on You Tube by searching for Extreme Croquet Palm Springs area."

Americans are lagging in croquet internationally. The major players are Australia, Egypt, England, New Zealand and Scotland. To demonstrate some of the difficulties, which American croquet teams face, London’s 5,000-member Hurlingham Croquet Club is over 100 years old and their croquet is played on lush, level lawns.

In 1966 their adversary in America, the Westhampton Mallet Club of Long Island, had 24 members and was seven years old. Their lawns could not use manicured as a description. They were not level and had a bad case of crab grass. In the first 1966 tournament, Hurlingham easily trounced the American players on English courts, taking all six straight matches of up-to-date 6 wicket croquet.

The following year the British had a dare. The Americans got the Brits off balance by enticing them to play their standard, antique 9 wicket game - in rain as it turned out. American players were proud to slosh the British to a tie on their familiar, muddy home lawns.

To understand the game of croquet a general understanding of progress through the millennium is helpful. Croquet murder is an off-shoot of motives for murder-at-large and this is written around croquet, but is not exclusively about croquet.

Photographs of an eXtreme Croquet Picnic, an eXtreme picnic-ready Rolls-Royce and a croquet mallet Loaner Tree follow:

Chapter Two

Chilling Skullduggery

Chilling skullduggery was played out on an accidental stage, which ancient croquet fields provided. The Shadow, a mysterious sleuth, who had the power to bend men’s minds, commented on skullduggery in the 1930’s weekly radio program of the same name, ending each episode by reminding listeners that the weed of crime bears bitter fruit and that crime does not pay.

Speaking of skullduggery, World Croquet Federation President, Charles Jones, 56, was murdered in August 2011 in his hotel room, while vacationing in Thailand after participating in the Golf Croquet World Championships in London.

When Jones’ body was discovered, it was determined he had bled to death from knife wounds. Police did not need to depend on The Shadow to discover clues, as they retrieved security video footage of a suspect stealing Jones’ computer, watch, cell phone and $40,000 in cash from his hotel room. The arrested murder suspect was 22 year old Mohammed Ryad, a former Syrian Army Commando. He drastically changed his appearance after the murder, but stolen items were still in his possession in addition to the murder weapon. Due to Thai law, Ryad merely received a sentence of nine years five months prison time for murder, burglary and illegally entering Thailand. However, Thai jail time is a chastisement all it’s own.

– Pattaya Daily News 9, August 26, 2011 - The New Zealand Herald, August 28, 2011.

This croquet violence did not result in travellers being vigilant about their environment. Two months later in October 2011, at the same hostelry, The Pullman Pattaya Resort Hotel, a fellow New Zealander, Geoffrey King, 58, was robbed of airline tickets, passport and $2,500 in cash. King ended up with a long hospital stay, after being poisoned and left unconscious.

– Otago Daily Times, February 10, 2014

It can be all about rules. The goal in croquet is to make as many wickets as possible. Mallet strokes played in turns are not tallied. If you have a set of backyard croquet mallets, balls and wickets, you will notice that all the rules, you will ever need are printed on the box. The commotion begins when you find that the rule you require to settle a temperamental dispute is not on the box. Murders over croquet rules have gone on for centuries and the following stories illustrate the impact of a well placed mallet. With practiced hands a three pound croquet mallet, with metal strike plates applied to the head, is a daunting murder weapon.

Attempted murder and a famous incident unexpectedly cold-cocked well known author Rex Stout - creator of master detective Nero Wolfe. In 1937 he was on the eXtreme Croquet lawns at the estate of Herbert Swope, publisher of the New York World. Swope had hosted other well known croquet players including Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, the Duke of Windsor and F. Scott Fitzgerald. Stout was added to the list of Swope’s renowned guests.

There was a disagreement over trivial game rules and Swope became emotional. Stout found himself in a murderous situation when he became the target of a one pound, croquet ball, thrown baseball style, at his head at short range.

Stout would later comment.

Croquet is not for sissies.

The Glencoe Croquet Murder – In 1899, a grisly killing took place on Kentucky croquet lawns when a mallet-wielding croquet player used a man’s head for a croquet ball. Two men playing croquet got into a fatal argument about rules.

G. W. Ferrill (also spelled as Ferrell a year later in the same Maysville Public Ledger) was killed, instantly, when William Castleman connected a perfect mallet shot to Ferrill’s head. Castleman later claimed to be in fear of his life and surrendered to authorities, alleging self defense. The court held him a year in jail pending trial, but as Ferrill had been the only witness, Castleman was released in 1900. If you play croquet, it might be wise to not argue too long over rules.

The Human Croquet Ball - Horrific swings of a croquet mallet to the head of a romantic rival were not well executed by Demetrius Burnett when he went to an ex-girlfriend’s home in March of 2012. He found her in bed with another man, picked up her mallet and clobbered the victim.

Burnett’s unconscious prey received 52 surgical staples to his head. The victim was left with little memory of the attack beyond the first few mallet strikes and Burnett’s defense claimed that he was not there that night. Apparently, Burnett was not as proficient at the game of croquet as the aforementioned Castleman. Maybe the penitentiary will give him a lesson.

Cowgirl Chic was brutally beaten to death, in October 2006, with a croquet mallet by a former Texas A&M student, Ken Peterson, 22. Her beautiful head had been used as a croquet ball and this became known as The Croquet Horse Murder. Cowgirl Chick was a horse.

During sentencing, Peterson claimed that due to drinking, he had no remembrance of attacking the horse. Two A&M students disputed Peterson’s account, saying that he had come home that night covered in blood, carrying a bloody croquet mallet and bragging about the murder of Cowgirl Chick. An accomplice, Walter Williams, would later be sentenced for lesser participation.

– Times Record News, Wichita Falls, Texas, March 23, 2008.

To examine croquet murders, murder at large should be considered. All types of murder motives work with croquet connections. Examples are below.

The story you are about to hear is true. We were working the day watch …

- Dragnet, radio

The Screaming Murder – New Zealand murder investigators found evidence in the case of Kate Alkema, 36, killed by strangulation in April 2002. She was last seen at the Hutt Valley Croquet Club in early morning. Her assailant, Nick Abraham, 21, lived near the croquet club. He appeared in a New Zealand court refusing to enter a plea, but he had not done well in his police interviews.

Right out of an old radio plot, Abraham eventually confessed to many things, that he did it because he wanted to hear her scream, that after she was strangled her dead, blue face would haunt him for the rest of his life and that he had watched Alkema, a stranger, leaving the croquet lawns many times.

Abraham had eaten the bitter fruit, born from the weed of crime. Similar to a wrap up on Dragnet, he was sentenced to 13 years in prison with no parole. Alkema’s family was frustrated by the light sentence.

– The New Zealand Herald, April 4, 2003

The Grudge Murder - When is a game of croquet more than a game? In October 2010, a brutal murder took the life of croquet player Kathleen Smith, 50, at her home in Burlington Vermont. Friends at the Mangled Mallet Croquet Club, where Smith was a member, get together annually to honor her spirit.

Sherlock Holmes felt that when you eliminate the