The Steady Decline of Nice People

By Thomas Davidson

Ever notice.....the steady decline of nice people? Are you bumping into w-a-y more nasty people these days? You're not hallucinating. Half the planet is in a snit. This short story reveals the root of widespread rudeness. A single scoundrel (with poor impulse-control) is bringing down the entire planet. Had enough? A global cure begins by identifying the social disease. Ready?

You are about to meet.....Master Ellsworth Bazarsky, the world's worst person, the dark architect of our crummy apocalypse. He is behind our Armageddon of Bad Manners. He is...Mr. Rock Bottom. Warning: you may lose bladder control.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thomas Davidson
• Release date: Sep 23, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310410215

Thomas Davidson

Thomas Davidson's PAST IS PRESENT won two 2016 Killer Nashville Silver Falchion Awards. He is also the author of THE MUSEUM OF SUDDEN DISAPPEARANCES, featuring Jurassic Jim Fleetwood. EXIT, a near-future thriller, is loosely based on his short story, "Exit," winner of San Francisco's 2013 Litquake Booktrack Halloween Short Story Competition. His nonfiction has appeared in the Boston Phoenix. He's been tracked by surveillance cameras in the Boston area.website: www.thomas-davidson.com

Book preview

The Steady Decline of Nice People

Thomas Davidson

Copyright 2014 by Thomas Davidson

Smashwords Edition

The Steady Decline of Nice People

(Are Maniacs on the March?)

a short story

by Thomas Davidson

"Tom Davidson always makes me laugh. Always. Tom is one of those people who not only sees the world with his own particular skew, he helps readers see it that way, too. Check out his stories and find out why Tom Davidson is one of the best humor authors on this wacky, tilted planet."

— Karen Dionne, author, FREEZING POINT and BOILING POINT (Berkley)

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from Thomas Davidson.

CONTENTS

The Steady Decline of Nice People

About the Author

Also by Thomas Davidson (novel excerpt)

The Steady Decline of Nice People

Worst person in the world?

Mr. Rock Bottom?

Ever notice.....the steady DECLINE of nice people? You're not hallucinating. What follows may sucker-punch your outlook on life. Be warned. You may lose all bladder control.

Stop reading if you're glum, drunk, and teetering on a windy bridge in a sleet storm as soulless motorists pound their horn, cackle ha-ha-ha, and scream Jump, you chicken shit. I double-dog dare ya!

Ahem.

When you read the ghastly newspaper or watch the grim news unfold on TV, do you ever shudder, spill your drink on your trousers, and sense the rise of bad behavior? Does your queasy gut insist the world is getting worse? Are maniacs on the march? If so, why?

In a sense, picture a wicked Wizard of Oz behind a flimsy curtain, pulling the icy levers of destiny. This story, dear reader, shall reveal forbidden knowledge at the brutal core of human events. As a result, your brain may explode. So relax, you are seconds away from clawing your chest and gazing cross-eyed into the lugubrious abyss (with a string of saliva swinging from your lower lip). 

Listen up. Do you have an iron heart? Steel soul? Shatterproof scrotum? If you answered 'Yes' to two of three questions, proceed. [If you answered 'Shit yeah, homey,' to all three inquiries, drop your