Nshei Chabad Newsletter: Tishrei- September Edition - 5775 / 2014

By Nshei Chabad

This is the N'shei Chabad Newsletter - Jewish Women's Magazine FALL - Jewish Holiday edition. Everything for the religious Jewish woman and those interested in being so or learning about so is here! Torah, chassidus, Jewish stories, outreach, women's health, children, pregnancy and childbirth, Jewish children's education, halacha, here it is!

The N’shei Chabad Newsletter Jewish Women's Magazine has been inspiring Jewish women around the world for over 35 years. Each issue is packed with 100 pages of biographies, divrei Torah, profiles of Shluchim, parenting and health advice and Chabad history. N’shei Chabad Newsletter is created to inspire and educate Jewish women to live healthful, wholesome lives based on the teachings of Torah and Chassidus. Of interest to the whole family but geared to women, this magazine strives to educate, inspire, enlighten and entertain Jews on a variety of topics, including but not limited to: chasidus, chinuch (education), biographies, art, shlichus, health, housekeeping, nutrition, marriage, moral and ethical issues, and more. Our glossary enables readers with little or no Jewish education to understand and enjoy the magazine. The magazine is published 5 times a year.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nshei Chabad
• Release date: Sep 12, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310220951

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N'shei Chabad Newsletter • Volume xlii • Tishrei - Fall - September 5775 / 2014

Copyright 2014 N'shei Chabad Newsletter

Published by Akiva Marks at Smashwords.com

NsheiChabadNewsletter.com

GUEST EDITORIAL

THE YELPING CHIHUAHUA

We Set Standards for Others by Our Own Behavior

By Rabbi Gershon Schusterman

Los Angeles, California

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There was a noted Chabad chossid of the last generation, a man of great mesirus nefesh for Yiddishkeit in the Soviet Union who had demonstrated profound ahavas Yisroel. He was also somewhat obstreperous in his dealings with others. He was so determined to accomplish what he felt was needed that he was often at odds with others.

I once listened to him defending his irregular but effective method at a chassidishe farbrengen, after a l’chaim or two. He said of himself: Ich bin a hoont… ich bin dem Rebben’s hoont. Ich shtey un behil un ich heet dem Rebben’s grenetsun. (I am a dog… I am the Rebbe’s dog. I stand and bark and I protect the Rebbe’s borders.")

This chossid felt that the Rebbe’s borders must be protected from foreign intrusion and since protecting them was his job, he could use all means at his disposal, even if it meant ruffling feathers... or worse.

(When he said, Ich bin a hoont… I could feel the murmur among his detractors, Hear, Hear!)

Well, in comparison to him, I am a yelping Chihuahua.

I am also an infrequent visitor to Crown Heights and have the benefit of the guest who comes for a while and sees for a mile.

On several recent visits I attended a number of weddings. I was happy for the grooms, brides and their parents. The ballrooms were set up beautifully; the food was plentiful and tasty. However, what I experienced as disconcerting was that the music and the dancing were more styled after a disco than that of a chassidishe, Lubavitcher wedding.

It is not for me to delve into the halachah of what is improper dancing; rather I will simply paraphrase a U.S. Supreme Court Justice who said, I know it when I see it. I would like to believe that these events are rare exceptions to the rule, but, unfortunately, they do not appear to be that uncommon.What is inappropriate should not be tolerated.

Why does the wedding meal have to be glatt-kosher, but not the wedding celebration?

I would be dishonest if I said that I personally felt compromised; I didn’t. I live in Los Angeles, California, just a few blocks from its border with Hollywood, where just walking in the street is a moral challenge, and we learn how to deal with these challenges. But I am offended and demeaned, as a Lubavitcher chossid, that in the Rebbe’s dalet amos such behavior is taking place. I am embarrassed for all of us as a community and for the Rebbe.

At many Crown Heights weddings, a few guests from the surrounding chassidishe communities attend. When I see these people observing this type of dancing I cringe and ask myself, what are they thinking?! Then I ask myself, what are we thinking? Are we thinking at all? Have we just given up and capitulated? Are we oblivious to what this does to our image and, therefore, also to the Rebbe’s image?

For the FFBs amongst us, this type of worldliness (to be kind) is to invite the world’s trash into our greatest simchos. For the BTs amongst us, I quote a BT friend of mine from California, who, while watching the dancing with me, said to me bluntly, For this I became frum? I thought I left all of this behind me! How can I enjoy the beautiful achdus of our diverse community when we dredge up the lowest common denominator and place it front and center? What happened to our self-respect? What happened to the Lubavitcher V’niflinu (Shemos 33:16), to the sense of our being unique and exceptional?

How one talks, walks, even how one closes the door, says a lot about the person. Body language speaks loud and clear. Uncouth body language isn’t about the body at all; it describes character.

When standards decline a little at a time, we barely notice and become inured and insensitive; when we become desensitized, things deteriorate further.

Twas a time, in the early 1950’s, that a proper mechitzah at a Lubavitcher wedding was not that common. The Rebbe took it upon himself to change this. He spoke about it to individuals and wrote about it (see the first letter in Igros vol.9), encouraging us to set our standards higher. He wrote that not having a proper mechitzah is wrong, not only because it is inherently wrong, but also because it creates an obstruction in the path of the blessings that are showered from On High for the new couple. If we really believed this we would not tolerate vulgar music and dancing at the young couple’s royal sendoff.

The yetzer hara wasn’t Made in the USA; it flourished in Europe in earlier generations, too. There are passionate Rabbinic responsa on this subject. When the behavior at the wedding is not as it should be, many authorities forbid adding the words Shehasimchah B’me’ono (there is joy in His dwelling) in the Raboisai… call, by the one leading the bentching, because He has no joy in this setting! (See Kitzur Shuchan Aruch 149:1)

So the Rebbe won the mechitzah battle, but not the wedding war. Now the battlefront has moved to the dance floor. By carrying on this way, wittingly or unwittingly, it besmirches and sullies the standard and image of Lubavitch and the image of the Rebbe.

T here are other things happening at weddings that are new-and-not-improved, which are signs of declining standards. The juvenile flirtatious behavior of the chosson and kallah toward each other in public is no longer uncommon. It sets a poor example for their peers. The newfangled family dance of the kallah’s father and siblings —of both genders — on the distaff side of the mechitzah didn’t used to happen. These are simply inappropriate and inconsistent with long-established Lubavitcher standards. This is not to be confused with a mitzvah-tantz (which we also don’t do) nor is it the mezinke-tantz.

The responsibility for these examples of declining standards rests on all of us and, if we care, we must speak out sincerely and persuasively; we cannot be passive in the face of it. Yiras Shamayim without courage is wimpy and, communally, worthless.

The lion’s share of the responsibility rests squarely on the shoulders of the ones who call the shots and pay the bills — the mechutonim. Where there is meticulous concern for the menu and flowers, there is apparently no such concern regarding the type of music to be played, which determines the tempo and choreography of the dancing. The musicians and bands are hired professionals; they will play exactly as asked. The people signing the band’s contract must put in it, in writing, what they do want and what they don’t want. They carry the responsibility for the resulting atmosphere and dances.

Just as the mashgiach on the kashrus is present throughout the celebration to make sure that the proper kashrus standards are maintained throughout the evening, have we now reached the point that we need the mesader kiddushin to stay through the evening and take responsibility that appropriate kedushah standards are maintained for the entire celebration?

T here are things that the Rebbe personally campaigned for or against, setting the standards for his community. Some are straightforward dinim in the Shulchan Aruch and some go beyond it: beards (untrimmed), eiruv (not in larger cities), mechitzah (of proper height and density), sheitel (not hats, falls, etc.), cholov Yisroel (not cholov stam), and more. These are important to us because they were so essential to the Rebbe that he spoke out and campaigned for setting a unique and higher Lubavitcher standard.

I am sure we can relate to one who says he does certain things (dinim, chumros, minhagim) a certain way, because this is the way my father insisted that our family do it. Well, our father, the Rebbe, insisted that our greater family should do these things this way. Let us not embarrass the family and let us not disregard our father.

We are one family. Each of us sets standards for others by our own behavior. By raising our own awareness, we elevate ourselves and others in a positive way and make our family, community and world purer, brighter and holier. ≠

INSIDE

- The Paper Edition Table of Contents -

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About the Cover

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Rebbetzin Chana Schneerson, the mother of the Rebbe, attended the wedding of her cousin Sima Kluwgant to Rabbi Eliezer Paltiel. The wedding took place in what was then the Brooklyn Jewish Center at 667 Eastern Parkway, on March 26, 1959 (Ohr l’17 Adar II 5719).

The Rebbetzin passed away five years later on Vov Tishrei of 1964.

Rebbetzin Chana was first cousins with Sima’s father, Rabbi Isser Kluwgant. His parents, Reb Menachem Mendel and Rebbetzin Mindel Pushnitz, were siblings of the Rebbetzin’s parents, Rabbi Meir Shlomo and Rebbetzin Rochel Yanovsky (brother and sister married sister and brother).

In honor of the Rebbetzin’s 50th yahrzeit on Vov Tishrei we bring you an article about her and her strongest wish – that her husband’s chiddushim should one day be published. Her son the Rebbe published Reb Levik’s chiddushim in 1970-1972. Now, Rabbi Dovid Dubov (Chabad of Greater Mercer County/Princeton, NJ) has arranged the perushim according to the parshiyos haTorah and made them easier for the average person to understand.

N’shei Chabad Newsletter is profoundly grateful to Mrs. Sima Paltiel for sharing this precious and private photo with us. To see the Rebbetzin Chana so happy is a priceless gift you have given us, Mrs. Paltiel. Thank you.

Staff

Founder Brana Shaina Deitsch

Senior Editor Rishe Deitsch

Associate Editors Chaya Shuchat, Nechama Golding, Yedida Wolfe

Business Managers Rivka Malka Geisinsky, Esther Sosover

Editorial Consultants Raizel Mangel, Chana Shloush

Feature Writer Nechamie Margolis, Dvora Lakein

Layout & Design Leibel Krinsky

Advertising Faigie Wolff

Proofreader Devorah Chazanow

Subscriptions Esther Rochel Spielman

Website Faygie Shagalow

e-Edition Preparation Akiva Marks

Identification Statement

The N’Shei Chabad Newsletter (usps 008227) is published 5 times a year, September, December, February, April, and June for $25 per year by N’shei Chabad 325 Kingston Avenue, Brooklyn, New York, 11213.

Send address changes to N’shei Chabad Newsletter – c/o Mrs.E.R. Spielman, 1276 President Street, Brooklyn, NY 11213.

Submissions & Ads

Email articles, letters to the editor and submissions to Open House and Kindness and Courage to [e-mail]. Please include your name and telephone number with all correspondence.

Deadline for submissions to Letters, Open House or Kindness and Courage, to be included in the Kislev issue, is November 5, 2014.

Deadline for ads for the Kislev issue is November 20, 2014. To place your ad please email Faigie Wolff at [e-mail] or call her at [phone], or call Rivki at [phone].

Disclaimer

Articles and the opinions expressed therein do not necessarily represent the views of the editors. N’shei Chabad Newsletter does not assume resonsibility for the Kashrus of any service or product advertised in its pages. Articles published in the N’shei Chabad Newsletter become the property of the N’shei Chabad Newsletter and may be sold/given to Chabad.org, L’Chaim, Hamodia, collive.com., and other publications, with credit given to the authors.

Paper Edition Subscription Information

A one-year paper subscription is $25 in the U.S., $30 in Canada, and $45 in all other countries. To subscribe or renew your subscription, visit our website at nsheichabadnewsletter.com. Subscriptions may also be mailed with a check made out to N’shei Chabad Newsletter to Mrs. Spielman, 1276 President St., Brooklyn NY 11213. You may also phone in your subscription by calling Mrs. Sosover at 718.771.7648 or Mrs. Spielman at 718.756.8492.

Subscription address corrections or questions should be emailed to nsheisubscription@ gmail.com. N’shei Chabad Newsletter is not forwarded automatically. You must email or call if you are moving.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

- Appreciations

The Tammuz issue has a breathtaking cover.

Chana Gittle​ Deray

Pittsburgh, PA

On behalf of my family, I would like to thank everyone who put together the beautiful write-up about my mother, Rebbetzin Shaina Charitonow a"h.

May Hashem help that from now on, N’shei Chabad Newsletter should only have occasion to print articles about happy events.

As the cover says, Chassidim mamshichim – let us be mamshich in Yerushalayim together with Moshiach now!

Levi Charitonow

- Letters

For the first time in my life, I experienced Gimmel Tammuz having received guidance from my mashpia. I had a dysfunctional mashpia relationship for many years, and felt too intimidated to approach the woman that I felt would be more appropriate for me. It was the articles about mashpia in the most recent Shvat and Pesach issues that gave me the push to ask her to become my mashpia, and to talk to her on Gimmel Tammuz.

As expressed so eloquently in the Tammuz editorial, the magazine is all about the Rebbe, what the Rebbe wanted from us and how to implement his horaos.

T. S.

Bikur Cholim of Crown Heights

The article on the Crown Heights Bikur Cholim by Dovid Zaklikowski (A Shoulder to Lean On, Tammuz issue, page 17) was lovely but did not do the organization justice. Bikur Cholim does so much more than help families deal with cancer R"L. Just for one small example, my father has Alzheimer’s.