White Lies

By Jo Gatford

‘White Lies is both an unflinching depiction of dementia, old age and family relationships, and an interesting exploration of the wealth of secrets that relatives keep from each other.'
Emma Healey , Author of Elizabeth is Missing

We’re similar, he and I, for the first time – all the symptoms of grief with none of the emotion. It’s not that it doesn’t hurt; I just haven’t worked out how to mourn someone I hated.

When Matt’s half-brother Alex dies, his father refuses to hold onto the memory of his favourite son’s death. It was hard enough the first time, but breaking his dad’s heart on a weekly basis is more than Matt can bear. 

Peter, Matt’s father, is terrified his dementia will let slip the secrets he’s kept for thirty-five years. Unable to distinguish between memory and delusion, he pursues one question through the maze of his mind: Where’s Alex?

Faced with the imminent loss of his father, Matt is running out of time to discover the truth about his family. Tortured by his failing memory, Peter realises that it’s not just the dementia threatening to open his box of secrets, but his conscience, too.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Legend Press
• Release date: Jul 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9781910162057

Reviews for White Lies

[schatje_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a family drama narrated in alternating chapters by Peter, a dementia sufferer, and Matthew, his eldest son, who desperately wants to learn what his father knows about his mother’s disappearance the day after Matthew was born. It is a race against time that is complicated by a major hurdle: the death of Alex, Matthew’s stepbrother. Because of Peter’s dementia, Matthew has to keep telling his father about the death of his favourite son. Matthew also admits to having another problem: “I just haven’t worked out how to mourn for someone I hated.” What I really liked about the novel is its use of the point of view of a dementia sufferer. Peter is aware that he is slowly losing his mind and offers a description of what is happening to him: “My mind does not simply play tricks on me, it tucks me into bed, sneaks out on tiptoes and runs naked through the streets while I sleep soundly, unaware of the damage it causes and the horrors it commits and the humiliations it leaves laid out neatly for me when I awake.” He has moments of lucidity but more and more he finds himself pulled through a “warren of doorways” into memories of his past: “I always return, though I don’t always know I’ve been away. And there is always another door.” Peter is not always a likeable person; in his life he sometimes behaved in a less than admirable way, especially in his treatment of Matthew, but the reader cannot help but have sympathy for Peter because of how effectively the author portrays the ravages of dementia.This book is not for anyone who fears growing old. Peter’s description of the aging process is stark: “We are the most fragile of fruit, rotting from the inside out while our skin puckers and our orifices slacken, bruising like two-week-old plums. . . . Our eyes dim milky yellow, our ears grow every larger but ever more useless, our teeth crumble in our mouths and our brain cells – having long stopped reproducing themselves – die lonely deaths, jettisoning random memories as the ship goes down.” In the end, “all that’s left is a sad collection of trembling, stained leftovers.”A major theme, as clearly indicated by the title, is the effect of lies. Peter says, “Little white lies are the most painful of all” and certainly the lies he has told, the secrets he has kept, have damaged Matthew and their father-son relationship. Matthew comments that “Lies are straightforward. The truth is complicated.” And, indeed, the truth proves to be very complicated. Peter does occasionally clearly remember details from the past so the reader learns several truths. Suspense is created because one wonders whether Matthew will discover the complicated truth. A weakness of the novel is its many parallels. Matthew’s niece finds herself in a situation almost identical to that of Matthew’s stepmother. Matthew’s discovery of letters parallels Alex’s discovery of a letter. Alex’s behaviour after the death of his mother is similar to Matthew’s behaviour because of his mother’s disappearance: “Her absence trapped him like a rat in a box, running a loop of mad, frantic terror; wound so tight that when it gets free all it can do is go straight for your face.” The number of parallels suggests too much contrivance.There are also a couple of problems with logic. For example, how can a woman be “six weeks pregnant” when she’d left the father of her child “a few months before”? And how can Peter hallucinate a dead woman’s telling him a truth of which he is unaware?The novel examines the devastating effects of lies but is most effective in its examination of the devastation caused by dementia.Note: I received an ARC of this book from the publisher via NetGalley.

[judithdcollins · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A special thank you to Legend Press and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. WHITE LIES a riveting contemporary debut by British author,Jo Gatford tackles family drama and complexities; with highly-charged subjects of mental illness, aging, end of life care, grief, dementia, parenthood, paternity, jealous sibling rivalry . . . and dark family secrets. More of a psychological suspense family drama. Told in alternating voices we hear from the following for a week long saga:Matthew is a grown man and has discovered his brother, Alex is not really his brother at all. His dad is not Peter? (Lydia left a letter). Shortly thereafter, Alex has a brain aneurysm and dies (on Matt’s birthday), outside his flat after an argument. He secretly thinks Alex did this on purpose to haunt him. Matt hates his brother; however, feels some guilt. Another question, if Alex is not Peter’s son, then why does his dad love Alex more? An ongoing question throughout the book - is this elementary school?Matthew’s mother, Heather left the hospital as soon as he was born and has not been seen since. Matthew is obsessed with learning answers of why his mother left and why his dad, Peter loves Alex more than he. He thinks his dad is the only one with the answers. Always looking to blame someone. Since Peter’s mind is not very stable, due to dementia, he knows there is not much time to gather his answers and it will be too late. It has been thirty six long years and he still cannot bring himself to ask his dad. Now it appears it is too late. All his dad talks about is Alex. He does not want him to die without telling him the truth; what really happened to his mother? Peter, seventy-four years old, the dad; was married to Heather (first wife) and Lydia (second wife). His world has been reduced to a single room in the third-nicest dementia nursing home in the south east and his mind is downsizing, as well. His dread is knowing there will come a day when he blithely will give away all the things that should never be known. He fears as his brain melts, his tongue will loosen, and secrets could slip out. The only way he is assured they have not done so already is the fact that they are still speaking to him. He also went to Gloria a psychic after the police quite looking for Heather; she knows things. Peter’s voice was the most absorbing and chilling. He is always vacillating between his dementia and worrying about keeping his secrets from his children. He still cannot accept the death of his son and flashes back to an earlier time he desires to forget. From humorous, to heartbreaking readers hear the innermost thoughts (the kids are so mean, who cares)? Peter is concerned about aging and does not want to be a burden, and lives in fear and denial and does not want to face disgrace or the truth. Angela, his step daughter still manages to love Peter who raised her like a daughter, stuck in between the pieces of a badly-fitted family jigsaw. Her mother was Lydia. The best part was when Clare tells her grandfather about her pregnancy, and he is thinking, “Darling granddaughter, find a sucker just like me to help you raise it.” Peter's quote: “We make a crooked family tree. Twisted and diseased marked with an X for destruction. I can feel the roots in my forehead-gnarled old veins sticking out like embodiment of bitterness. I take two pills for the pain. (there is always the pills and the letters).No likable characters here. No warm and fuzzy. Matt is self-loathing, a total monster. Peter is a martyr, Alex, was not much better, and Claire (niece), unpleasant to say the least. The only one you can sympathize with somewhat is Peter in his own twisted way. I did enjoy the interaction with the other people in the assisted living facility which would make you laugh out loud and Peter’s thoughts. This was not a feel-good novel, more of a dark humor and somewhat a realistic view of many dysfunctional families, as why I like to stay far away from mine. When you remain at least 16 hrs away, you do not have to be involved in their daily drama.The impressive part of the book is the writing, with great insights and depth with humor mixed in to offset the self-absorption, lies, and illness. The author addresses complexities of dementia, stress, and coping, as well as the flashbacks of Peter through the phases and milestones of his life as he recalls them -- Nicely done by Gatford. From childhood to parenthood, to old age. On a personal note: As my parents are in their late 80s, one with cancer and one with leukemia, aging and healthcare is always front and center. We as baby boomers are facing our own future, while worried about the care of elderly parents, and tough healthcare decisions, as we see ourselves not too far behind.A scary thought --the time flies by as we see our new wrinkles each day. I find it intriguing to read novels of dark family secrets--makes me often wonder what mine are hiding. Looking forward to reading more from this newfound British author!