Before I Go To Sleep: A Novel

By S. J. Watson

Christine wakes up every morning in an unfamiliar bed with an unfamiliar man. And every morning that man must explain that he is Ben, he is her husband; she is forty-seven years old; and a terrible accident two decades earlier decimated her ability to form new memories. But it’s the phone call from a neurologist named Dr. Nash that directs her to her hidden journal. For the past few weeks, Christine has been recording her activities and rereading past entries, learning the facts of her life as retold by the husband upon whom she is completely dependent. As the entries accumulate, Christine finds herself asking more and more questions—about what she missed and what Ben might not be telling her…

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins
• Release date: Jun 14, 2011
• ISBN: 9781443404082

S. J. Watson

S. J. WATSON was born in the Midlands. His first novel was the award-winning Before I Go to Sleep, which has sold more than four million copies in over forty languages, followed by the critically acclaimed novel Second Life. S. J. Watson lives in London.

Reviews for Before I Go To Sleep

[ma_washigeri · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Plus a half a star. The author set himself a very hard task to write this in the first person. I enjoyed the early part of the book best as it had freshness and intriguing detail. Later on I found it a bit repetitive and the mystery evaporated as I worked the plot out for myself. I found myself skipping over text towards the end in an effort to finish rather than abandon. [Spoiler] And a bit queasy about the violence - the more description, the less effective.

[ginafava · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Riveting, poignant, startling. It could have ended in a number of different directions, but I felt satisfied with this one. If you read it before you go to sleep, every morning you'll wake up wondering about the truth of your own life's circumstances.

[pamv-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

OK, I liked this book, but didn't love it. I thought that the storyline was pretty creative and I have not read anything like this before. It certainly made me think about real people that have had real accidents that suffer from amnesia. I liked how the story was being told through her journal. The story is a bit suspenseful, but not overly done.

Here is one of the things that I really did not like about the book; some of the sentence structure and phrasing seemed off. I found myself going back to a sentence a few different times rereading it to try to get the proper context and how it fits in the paragraph.

Overall, I would recommend this book to others.

[begivens · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I rarely read a book that captivates and surprises me. This book did that and more. I enjoyed every minute of it.

[kathelijne-3 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

terrifying!

[dazedbybooks · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Loved this book! I was left questioning every character until the very end, even the sanity of the main character. I rarely give 5 stars, but I almost did for this one. I couldn't put it down. Great read. Highly recommend!!!

[uagyrl · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Loved this book! I was left questioning every character until the very end, even the sanity of the main character. I rarely give 5 stars, but I almost did for this one. I couldn't put it down. Great read. Highly recommend!!!

[lauriegienapp · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow!! very well done. well conceived, well written. I will certainly be looking for more from this author.

[annhepburn · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

So, I just read this in less than 24 hours. This never happens - I picked it up and glanced at the first sentence and was suddenly unable to do anything but read and read and read.

So suspenseful! Every page is dripping with suspense. READ IT NOW, you guys. DO IT!

[hope_h-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

"What are we, if not an accumulation of our memories?" wonder Christine Lucas. Due to trauma, she has lost both her long-term and her short-term memory. She awakens every morning not knowing anything about herself. She is surprised by the age of the woman looking back at her from the mirror, surprised by the man in her house who introduces himself every morning as her husband Ben, surprised by the doctor who calls her every morning to tell her where she has hidden her journal and that she needs to read it. It is through her journal that we begin to piece together her story. And the first line in the journal reads "Don't trust Ben."A little bit slow to start, this was an otherwise superb read! Christine makes a wonderfully unreliable narrator. It had me guessing until the end who was or wasn't trustworthy as well as what was happening with her.

[toric90 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I really enjoyed this book. Along the lines of many of the bestsellers such as Gone Girl and The Girl on The Train, this suspenseful thriller keeps you guessing at every turn. The writing has a tendency to be repetitive occasionally, mostly because of the way the plot is, having a main character with memory loss and regaining memories based on a diary, therefore it was pretty easy to overlook after a while. The ending was perfect for the story and let the reader make the conclusion that worked best for them. A highly suggested read.

[courtneygiraldo · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Mind = blown. That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this book. Before I Go to Sleep is mystery/thriller that will literally keep you guessing until the very end.Christine is a middle aged woman who wakes each morning a blank slate. I don't mean this in the self help "every day is a new day" sort of way. She literally is a blank slate, she has no memories. As a result of a horrific tragedy 20+ years ago, Christine has a very rare form of amnesia in which she can retain no memories. Most days she wakes believing she is in her early twenties, other days she believes she is still a child. Each morning her husband Ben patiently talks her through her past tragedy, explains her diagnosis, and attempts to provide clarity and reassurances with family pictures and scrapbooks documenting their marriage and life together. At the urging of a psychologist, Dr. Nash who is bent on assisting Christine in retrieving her memories, or at the very least, begin to retain new ones, she begins keeping a journal every day. Over the course of several weeks, Christine reconnects with (what she believes is) a dear friend, Claire, and learns that the "accident" resulting in her condition may not have been an accident at all, but may be the result of something much more sinister. Christine isn't sure what is truth and what is lie, who she can trust and who she can't (including her own mind) but she must make sense of it all, before it's too late (sounds ominous, I know).This book had me guessing the ENTIRE time. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, I was thrown a curveball. I oscillated between thinking each of the three supporting characters in Christine's story had nefarious intentions, then changing my mind...again....and again. Having such an unreliable main character really made trying to figure out "who dun it" that much more difficult and made the ending that much more spectacular. I definitely recommend this read if you are into mystery/thrillers, it won't disappoint!

[bucketofrhymes · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

2.5 stars, technically. I wanted to like this book so much. And yet...
1. The specific type of amnesia that Chris had. Her memory just resets itself when she sleeps. And I would have been totally okay with that -- the author mentions other forms of amnesia and how this is different, and I would have accepted a bit of hand waving if she left it at that. But then, the whole trauma-induced, trauma-cured thing happened. And now it's starting to bug me. Memory problems are dramatic enough on their own -- you don't need to invent a whole new amnesia.
2. Her memories were really detailed... I'm thinking in particular about the one where she sat down to write and could even remember the sentence she typed before she scratched it out. I have never had a memory that vivid or coherent. It makes for better scenes, yes, but it seems unrealistic and overly-specific.
3. Some aspects were predictable. Okay, the plot made sense, but it wasn't as mind-blowing as the jacket copy would have me believe.
4. I can't believe that no one -- NO ONE -- thought to verify Ben/Mike's identity. She has severe amnesia, and no one thought to go, hey, let's make sure this dude's actually her husband? Ben or Adam never checked on her? NO ONE REALISED?!
5. What was with the fixation with how penises look? Yeah, he's naked, I get it. Is this what adult fiction is like? Maybe I'll go back to middle grade.
6. The ending went too happily-ever-after for my liking.

I will say that I loved the old diary of hers with the "I am awake for the first time. ... Disregard the previous entry. Now I am actually awake" comments. I remember learning about a man who had no short- or long-term memory and would spend hours writing entries like that. My inner psych major geeked out over that scene.

[dorie.craig · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Well I managed to finish this, although it was a near thing at times. The book began well but I started losing interest in the middle. The woman was writing about the extreme minutia of every single thing that happened to her. I nearly laughed at the idea of this woman reading all of this in its entirety every single day. Although I have to admit the ending made up for it -- it was completely engrossing and suspenseful and (almost) completely satisfying.

[kitchenwitch04 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

If I had to use only one word to describe this book, that word would be AMAZING!! I absolutely loved this one!! The twists and turns in this book bring to mind riding a brand new roller coaster .....in the DARK - you never know what to expect next!

This is one of those books where you think you have it all figured out....only to find that you don't have a clue. Just when you think you know - you don't!

I am not going to give you a synopsis of the book in this review. You can always find that on the back of the book or here on Goodreads or at Amazon. What I will do is ask...what are you waiting for?? If you are a fan of psychological thrillers you need to get this one! You will definitely not regret it, and you will have a hard time putting it down.

I am a huge fan of suspense/thrillers and when I saw Before I Go To Sleep by S.J. Watson, I KNEW I had to read it. I was totally surprised to find that this is the author's debut book! Everyone in my book group who read this book LOVED it. We couldn't stop talking about it! What a fantastic read! I will definitely be looking for more by this author - if this is his first offering, I can only imagine what he has for us next!!

[lynnb_64 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A great read. Yes, it is a thriller, but one with solid characters and enough depth to appeal to me. Christine has suffered a brain injury and wakes every morning not knowing where she is, who the man in bed with her is, that she is no longer in her late twenties......Her husband, Ben, appears to be very patient and supportive, but also appears to be lying to her. What is her true story? Whom can she trust? What caused her injury and resulting memory loss? Great premise very well executed.

[sunnydrk · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Wow, super good!! 4.5 stars except is ended too abruptly to me. I couldn't put it down and finished it in 1 day.

[ncrainstorm · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I sit here having a hard time writing this review. Not because the book was bad, because it was really good. But I just don't know how to describe it's goodness. It's a very intense book. The protagonist, Christine, suffers from anteretrograde amnesia where she loses her memory every night as she sleeps. She wakes up in bed with a man she doesn't know. He tells her that he's her husband and she was in an accident years ago. I can't imagine being on either side of this situation.S.J. Watson did an excellent job showing us how someone would feel waking up every morning with no memory. I got tense with Christine as she found and read her diary over and over again every day; finding out new things about her past every day, yet forgetting them as she slept. The author kept the tension building day after day as Christine would remember a little bit more. S.J. Watson did a great job with the characters, letting us see clearly into Christine and her angst over her life and memory problems, but keeping the other characters just a little bit shady so you couldn't guess what the truth really was.This was a great read, with twists and turns everywhere. Just enough to keep you guessing and very entertained! *Disclaimer: I received this book from the publisher, HarperCollins, through NetGalley. I was not required to write a positive review.

[samantha71020 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Christine wakes every morning with no memory of the previous day, the week before, and without even a solid memory of her family and friends. She wakes up to realize that she doesn't recognize her husband or the woman that she has obviously become, and that waking up with no memory is a daily occurrence for her. And then she finds a journal that she has secretly been writing in which leads her to realize that her life isn't what it seems....Wow! This was a thriller that didn't let me go until the very last page. From the very beginning of the book, I was drawn into it because the main character, Christine, realizes that the life she doesn't know or remember isn't exactly as it should be. And as she begins to read the journal she has written, the reader is left with questions about the reliability of what she has written. Of the reliability of the memory of a woman that forgets each night what happened the previous day as well as the previous years. It makes for quite the suspenseful read as I was constantly questioning everything that was happening. And the end...just blew me away because even though I might have suspected something in the beginning, I had believed it to be impossible by the middle of the book. Which meant that the ending came to be a complete surprise for me which made the book even better in my opinion. This was a thriller that kept me on my toes and I cannot wait to read more by this author! Highly recommended.Bottom Line: One of the best thrillers that I have read in a long time. Simple as that :)Disclosure: I was lucky enough to be sent a copy of this book from the publisher.

[deelightful-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I found this book to be a real page-turner. There was a complex plot, lots of twists and turns and and a satisfying ending.

[myrt-4 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A Brilliant Debut - Not To Be Missed!A psychological drama that ultimately leads into a suspenseful thriller. The story is told from the first person perspective of Christine. Christine awakes each morning to find a strange man in her bed and to a face in the mirror she only barely recognizes as her own. Christine has been existing with a version of short term amnesia for over twenty years. The man in the bed is her devoted husband Ben and Christine is only able to remember herself as being in her 20's when she last fell asleep. Each day when Christine gets up she looks at the pictures her husband has taped up for her of the two of them and he then explains to her who she is. Each night she goes to sleep and the following morning the process begins again and again.Recently, Christine has started seeing a new doctor and at his suggestion she has begun to keep a journal of her days and noting any fragments of memory that occasionally pops up along with whatever information she learns about herself from Ben. Her husband is unaware of her meetings with the doctor or her journal as he is determined that no further medical intervention is needed since it has only served to cause her continuous anguish in the past when ultimately there was no change in her condition.Through her journal, Christine reminds herself each day, not only of who she is now, but through recording what bits of information about her past her husband fills in for her and what she learns working with the doctor she starts to form a written but fragmented memory of who she once was and what is happening in her life now. Through her journal entries Christine begins to notice discrepancies in what she is being told at different times and questions her mental state but also finds herself wondering if she can trust what her husband is telling her and what are the reasons he chooses to keep certain things from her. Is he trying to avoid upsetting her or himself? Through her work with her doctor Christine has snippets of memory but can't always trust these are real and not dreams.The complexities of Christine's condition and the degree her world has been winnowed down to just her daily interaction with her husband because of it is heartbreaking as when each day begins anew so must Christine start over. But using her private journal as a daily reminder of who she is now and a record of what she has been told and what little she remembers about her past Christine struggles to find a way to learn to live within the extreme limitations of her current life.It is only then, over three-quarters of the way through the book that the plot moves smoothly into the suspense thriller mode that has, oh so, quietly been an undercurrent throughout Christine's story as various facts abruptly come to a head and Christine is suddenly left to work out, within less than a day's time, what is happening around her and how to save herself.As a debut novel, it is amazing how well crafted and developed this story is and what a realistical and well defined character Christine is as the reader becomes her invisible companion from the moment she opens her eyes and faces the emotional shock of each morning. Her journal pulls you in as Christine struggles to put together pieces of missing information she doesn't always know if she can trust. You're elated with her at every success and brought down with her at each loss.The story is compelling as the uncertainty of what is real and what isn't slowly builds to an unexpected turn of events and suddenly everything seems turned around. Beware, it will keep you up until you reach the very end!Nobody gave me this book in exchange for my review. I just tripped over it and was so caught up by this story I had to spread the word about it. I can't wait to see what the author releases next!

[claireh18 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I've read a lot of fantastic books lately, so Before I go to Sleep had some stiff competition. Having said that, I've been wanting to read this psychological thriller since it was first published. Christine has no memory. Every morning she wakes up not knowing where she is, let alone the identity of the man in bed beside her. She has no recollection of the events that caused her brain injury, nor any idea how many years have passed since she first woke up in the hospital. This is a novel full of suspense and intrigue. We blindly stumble after Christine as she attempts to make discoveries about her life and indeed herself. There is a wonderful cast of supporting characters who Christine relies on to fill in the blanks, but some appear conflicted. This book had me reading long into the night (and morning) and i just couldn't put it down. I found myself shouting at it a fair few times when the twists came out of nowhere. Absolutely brilliant writing!I'd like to thank the author and publisher for the advanced reading copy I received via netgalley.

[steadfastreader · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Compelling. Very enjoyable. Still, in the long run it turns into fluff. Not that it's a bad thing.

Good airplane/beach reading.

[samkates · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A late-middle aged woman goes to sleep and wakes up each morning with her memories of the last twenty years or so completely erased. And there's a man in bed next to her...
This was an intriguing premise that might have been difficult to pull off convincingly, but the author manages it with great skill.
I'd highly recommend this novel.

[erica471 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Don't trust Ben. I loved this book! There was so many twists and turns, excellent. I stayed up half the night finishing it. I feel like I need to reread it to see how everything connects, but I never do that.

[trishrope · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is a tautly written psychological thriller about Christine Lucas, a woman who is in her later 40's, who has had amnesia since her 20's after severe brain trauma. She can only remember things that happen during the course of one day or until she falls into a deep sleep, and awakens each morning to find she doesn't know where she is and why she looks 20 years older than she should. Her husband seems to be the only person in her life that is her link to the past and can fill her in each day as to who she is and where she is. She starts seeing a doctor (unbeknown to her husband) that says he may be able to help her with her memory and she begins to keep a diary. As she begins to write in her journal daily she begins to piece together her history and realizes that her husband isn't always telling her the whole truth.

Because the story is written in first person, we only know what Christine knows, only find out facts about her life when she finds out; a very clever device in keeping up the suspense level. The author also explores the idea of memory and identity. Not only does Christine have no memory of the past, she also has no future, she can't plan for tomorrow (prior to her keeping a journal). So if we have no memory of the past and no plans for the future then we are just like animals; knowing ones past and the ability to plan for the future are what makes us human.

I did have a couple of issues with the book toward the end. Without giving away anything, I will say that there was one glaring inconsistency in the storyline that I still can't see how the author missed. The other issue is that the ending was more creepy than shocking. Denise Lehane's "Shutter Island" had a clever and wholly unexpected twist in the end, this book falls a long way short of that.

I listened to this on audio, and the narrator, Orlagh Cassidy does an excellent job of conveying suspense, confusion and tension.

This is a well-written page turner that is a perfect beach read.

[ahappybooker · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Loved this! Intense and intriguing, similar to the premise of the movie 50 First Dates as far as the memory thing, but much deeper. Full review later.

[jacobsbeloved · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I read this book on the avid insistence of a friend, and I am sure glad I read this book. The premise is quite intriguing - a woman with a very unique type of amnesia in which she wakes up every morning not remembering anything from as much as several decades of her life. What is most interesting is that sometimes she wakes thinking she is a child, while others she believes she is a young adult. There is no predicting at what believed age she will be when she wakes, and no controlling it.
A few things bugged me about the plot, the first of which was that on the mornings that she was supposed to wake as a child, nothing in her behavior indicated that of a child - she still behaved the same as when she woke as a full-grown adult. I was also immediately suspicious of Ben, as his behavior towards her did not seem very motivated towards achieving a return of her memory- but I suppose that was the point.
Despite Christine's loss of memory, in many ways her actions are instinctual - which is very realistic and made for some tense scenes. A Dr. Nash comes to her aid in secret, both because her case is no unusual and because he really does want to help her. Despite the difficulties of Christine not remembering him from day-to-day, he is still able to make progress with her - all behind Ben's back. On his advice, Christine begins keeping a journal of each day, as well as what memories return to her. This is when the book really picks up in intensity, as Christine comes to realize that her own mind could be her own worst enemy. At times she is not even certain if she can trust the words in her journal, since she cannot remember writing them.
As she fills up her journal, she begins to uncover lies and secrets in her life that create nail-biting, mind-blowing scenes that had me riveted. I was a little disappointed with how the book ends - after all of the build up, it seemed almost anti-climactic. Other than that, the book was an excellent read, especially for a first-time author. Everyone should read this book!

[frederika.roberts · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Intriguing plot that grips you straight from the very first line of text, twists and turns that keep you guessing all the way and an overall mind-blowingly clever and well-written psychological thriller that ranks up there with some of the best I've ever read.

I love Sophie Hannah books and, to anyone else that loves her books and is devastated because they've read them all and have to wait for the next one, S.J. Watson's "Before I go to sleep" won't disappoint. I found myself having a constant internal dialogue, debating the plot developments and being torn between possibilities, never knowing who to trust in the storyline...and I kept thinking "I'm only the reader, how must this poor woman feel??" I found myself telling everyone about the book and, for days after finishing it, I kept plotting scenarios of 'what happened next' in my head.

This book has it all...suspense, chilling psychological fear-factor and the sense that the story could continue in your own mind. An absolute must-read!

[shirleybell · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I read this in two days - couldn't put it down!